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Episode 8: The Kepler Sisters

  Sirens wailed and people panicked as a large beetle monster roared. Natalie and Courtney were in their Cutie Princess forms, fighting each other in midair before falling fast.

  "Oh my God, this is it! Those girls are going to die!" shouted Megan Santiago. She was the reporter filming the whole fight.

  The girls fell right into the creature's mouth. There was a moment of silence and dread. Then suddenly:

  BOOOOOM!

  The monster exploded into green goop. Guts and gore covered the city.

  "OH MY GOD! WHAT AN AMAZING DISPLAY OF POWER!" Megan Santiago shouted. She rushed toward the mess with her camera operator. They zoomed into the bloody remains of the beetle. Natalie and Courtney were on their backs spitting guts out of their mouths.

  "You there! What are your names? Who are you girls?"

  Suddenly, Harmony the Starlight Princess and Joan the Lunar Knight appeared to do damage control.

  "We apologize for this inconvenience. Thank you for being part of our training exercise," Harmony explained.

  "This scene is off limits. Everyone please back away," Joan ordered.

  "Wait! Who are you girls?! Please! The world wants to know!" Megan pleaded while Joan pushed her back.

  "We're Sailing Star Cutie Princess! And these are our recruits, Nebula Sparkles and Cosmic Comet!" Harmony announced proudly.

  "Ew no, I'm not fucking calling myself that!" Courtney hissed.

  "Yeah, fuck you Sailor ho. Why don't you let the real heroes come up with better names!" Natalie added.

  "Then what would you like to be called?" Megan asked.

  "I'm Cosmic Cheetah!" Courtney stood up, but she slipped on a pile of guts and landed right back down next to Natalie.

  "I'm Nebula Ninja, and don't you forget it!" Natalie smiled smugly.

  "Oh fuck you! That is such a cool name. I wanna be Nebula Ninja!"

  "In your dreams, bitch!"

  Natalie and Courtney started mud wrestling in the bloody beetle remains. The video froze and the bright lights of a corporate office turned on.

  We are inside Maxwell Industries. Sitting at the end of a long table was Maxwell Powers, owner of the largest children's entertainment company.

  "So as you can see sir, if we can cooperate with these girls, we project that interest in our girls' makeup department will skyrocket! The town is going crazy over these kids!" a nervous suit explained.

  "I see, but I have a better idea! Why should we license the names of these trashy teens when we can come up with our own?" Maxwell proclaimed.

  "Sir?" The suit looked puzzled.

  "Think about it, gentlemen. We could keep 100% of the profit if we owned our own brand of superheroes. Girls willing to be put on every lunchbox and every poster! Our own trashy teens! Superheroes away from those colorful freaks! That Ninja girl doesn't look like a singer; she's a rebel without a cause. What we need are pop stars with superpowers. Find me someone like that immediately!"

  The entire board got on their phones. They searched through ViewToo, Hik-Op, and Smackchat. The silence was unbearable. Finally, one of the suits stood up and rushed over to Maxwell.

  "Sir, you're going to love this. I found a pair of trailer trash twins from some hick town. They call themselves the Kepler Sisters. Look at their views!"

  Maxwell's eyes widened. "Holy shit, is that a million?"

  "Sir, there are more zeros. It’s a billion! And on their very first video!"

  "FIRST VIDEO!?" Maxwell’s cigar dropped and rolled across the table. "Get me those little tramps NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I’M GONNA MAKE THEM FAMOUS!"

  "Sir?" The meek head of PR spoke up. "Isn't it wrong to exploit those girls and turn them into something they're not?"

  Maxwell stared at him and smiled.

  SMASH!

  The suit screamed as he fell out the 52nd-floor window. He landed on a car. More glass flew everywhere and a car alarm went off.

  "Any other objections?" Maxwell asked.

  "No sir!" the suits said together.

  "Then get me those twins NOW!"

  Meanwhile,

  The school cafeteria was filled with gossip and music. Natalie stood in line gripping her lunch tray. She waited for what felt like forever while her stomach growled.

  When she reached the counter, she handed the worker a yellow lunch ticket who then tapped at the old cash register.

  "Okay, that’ll be three dollars,"

  Natalie panicked. "Sir, that is a lunch ticket. I’m supposed to..." She leaned closer and whispered so no one would hear. "I’m supposed to get the meal for free."

  The worker sighed and raised his voice. "Look kid, you're getting a discounted price with the ticket. So you either give me three bucks or you can go to hell

  Natalie was furious but maintained her cool and pushed the tray back toward him. "Look, I'm just going to return the food, sorry for wasting your time."

  The worker growled. "No returns. You pay now, or throw it in the trash."

  Natalie took offense to that. "What the fuck? Throw away perfectly good food? You know there are people out there that can't even afford a decent meal?!" She growled.

  A student behind her shoved her shoulder. "Oh my fucking God, MOVE!"

  "What is taking so long?" someone yelled from the back of the line.

  Another kid held up a plate. "Come on! My nuggets are getting cold!"

  Natalie was trapped. She couldn't just throw away the food and she couldn't pay for it either. She was beginning to lose her temper until Harmony popped out of nowhere and handed the cashier a five dollar bill.

  "Here you go Natalie, lunch is on me!" she chirped with a warm smile.

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  The students behind Natalie began to laugh. Her grip on the tray tightened.

  "Come sit with us, Joan and I are sitting at the front!" Harmony begged.

  "Thanks, but I don't need your fucking charity!" Natalie hissed, pushing past Harmony. She disappeared into the crowd, hiding in the farthest corner of the cafeteria. She slammed her tray onto an empty table and pulled her black hoodie over her head, shielding herself from prying eyes.

  "I fucking hate this school..." she muttered.

  Clank. Clank

  The sound startled Natalie who looked up and saw Harmony and Joan setting their trays on the table.

  "Mind if we sit here?" Harmony asked.

  Natalie looked away, her voice dropping to a mumble.

  "Yeah, sure... Umm... I'm... sorry..."

  Harmony tilted her head.

  "What was that?"

  Natalie’s embarrassment snapped into an immediate, hot flash of anger.

  "I SAID SIT YOUR PINK ASS DOWN!" she barked.

  "Okie dokie!" Harmony chirped, not even flinching. She sat down and started unpacking her lunch. "Come on, Joan. I brought some sandwiches we can all share!"

  "How exquisite, Milady!" Joan said, smiling as she sat.

  The girls ate in complete silence, Harmony looked at Natalie with concern. The poor girl looked as if she'd been through so much.

  “Natalie? Are you alright?” Harmony asked with sincerity.

  “I'm fine…” Natalie grumbled.

  “Lady Natalie, you can always talk to us.” Joan spoke up.

  “That's right, don't forget we're your friends, you can always trust us with anything.” Harmony smiled warmly at Natalie

  Friendship? Natalie didn't understand the word. She always lost someone or something. Friendship was a myth to her, a burden that led to pain. She began to eat her bean and cheese burrito, swallowing the guilt of not giving a damn about these perfect goody-goodies.

  Harmony began playing music on her phone that cut through Natalie's thoughts.

  "I love this song!" Joan smiled as she swayed side to side to the beat..

  "Aren't they wonderful? We should totally try to get tickets!" Harmony giggled excitingly.

  Natalie tried to ignore the music, but the lyrics were impossible to ignore.

  "I’ve been alone so long, it’s a crying shame. But a foot-long sub doesn't play no games. I don’t need love, I’m doing okay. I’ll just chew on my feelings ‘til they go away."

  Natalie's eyebrow shot up. "What the fuck trash are you listening to?" she demanded..

  Harmony and Joan exchanged beaming smiles. "It's the Kepler Sisters!" they chorused, as if announcing the arrival of a divine being.

  "The who?!" Natalie was already feeling disgusted by the name.

  "They're twin singers! And they're like, such an inspiration!" Harmony gushed.

  "They've touched my heart, like a chorus of a thousand angels!" Joan added, her voice trembling with emotion.

  The song continued, the lyrics were such an awful display of consumerism: “I spend my days at Smexi’s, I shop all through the night. The bags are so expensive and they’re never feeling light. I’ll just take another loan, buy a little more. Put it on his credit card, I’m like his credit score. Watch it hit the floor!"

  Natalie stared at Harmony and Joan. "You're fucking with me right? There's no way in hell you two the preachers of love and hope actually like this shit right?!”

  Joan, pulled out a bag of chocolates and snacked on the little treats. "Oh, they're so empowering," she sighed, "They understand what it's like to be a modern woman."

  Harmony nodded, her pink hair bouncing. "Exactly! They're so relatable! They sing about all the important things, like shopping and eating and... well, shopping!"

  "This is what passes for inspiration these days?" Natalie looked around the cafeteria and couldn't believe it. There was Kepler Sisters merch everywhere! Stickers on phones, keychains, t-shirts, backpacks, shoes, glucose devices, and even inhalers!

  “I guess they can't go a day without their daily dosage of Kepler Sisters…” Natalie shuddered in disgust.

  "Natalie, would you like to play a song?" Harmony smiled sincerely.

  "Yes Lady Natalie, please grace us with the songs of today's youth," Joan grinned.

  Natalie looked at Harmony's phone and grinned viciously.

  "Oh, I got a song for you." Natalie quickly looked up "Hu$tler," an aggressive rap anthem about pimpin' women and making money.

  "Ayyye bitches on dick 24/7! I'm in heaven giving it to these hos 24/7!

  The song played and Harmony and Joan turned white. The lyrics weren't just aggressive and loud, but disgustingly offensive too!

  The cafeteria went silent.

  Natalie was laughing her ass off.

  "Oh my God! You bitches should have seen the look on your fa-"

  SPLAT!

  A raw tomato hit Natalie's left eye. Her face was caught between shock and anger.

  "Hey bitch! You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" a rabid fan shouted as she hurled another tomato.

  “Yeah, don't fuck with the Keplies!”

  Other Kepler fans followed suit and threw tater tots, burger patties, mashed potatoes, and applesauce. Everything they could get their hands on flew overhead, landing on Natalie.

  "Stop it! Please, no more!" Harmony cried out, but it was too late. Natalie got up and fled after she was completely pelted with food.

  The cafeteria broke out in applause and cheers.

  “How horrible, I'll be sure that each and every one of them are assigned to the At Risk Youth Group at once!!” Joan declared with righteous fury.

  "Natalie..." Harmony whimpered.

  Natalie burst into the bathroom sobbing, her tears mixed with food. She hovered over a sink as she began to wash her face. She looked into the mirror, into the eyes of defeat, and punched the glass with her fist, cracking it.

  "FUCK THE KEPLER SISTERS!" Natalie bellowed from the bottom of her heart.

  She looked at her hands, trembling with power and anger. She could single-handedly wipe out the scum at the cafeteria, but despite all her frustrations, she wouldn't stoop so low as to be a murderer.

  FLASH!

  A blinding flash hit Natalie's right eye. She turned around, and there stood Courtney, wearing a Kepler Sisters T-shirt.

  "Oh my God, you look like absolute shit!" Courtney snickered. "But hey, that's a good look for you!" she teased, snapping another picture.

  “RAHHHHHH!”

  A guttural scream ripped from Natalie's throat as she launched herself at Courtney. She grabbed a fistful of Courtney's hair and slammed her head against the marble sink.

  CRASH

  The shards of marble and ceramic scattered across the grimy bathroom tiles.

  Courtney recoiled against a wall and slid to the floor, sitting in a puddle of murky water.

  "Ohhh, you fuckin' cunt... Why...?" Courtney groaned.

  "Sorry... I wasn't in the mood," Natalie said, as she extended a hand.

  Courtney couldn't believe it. Natalie? Offering a hand? This seemed too good to be true. After weeks of trying to kill each other, Courtney couldn't take that chance.

  She grabbed Natalie's hand and swung her towards the stalls. Natalie crashed into them, landing on the toilet seat as the broken pipes sprayed her with cold, dirty water.

  "Now we're ev-"

  SMASH!

  Natalie grabbed the toilet tank lid and hurled it at Courtney's face.

  She then lunged forward, grabbing Courtney by the collar, lifting her above her head, and rushing towards a toilet stall. She kicked it open.

  "WHAT THE FUCK?! NO, NO-" Courtney shrieked.

  SPLASH!

  Natalie shoved her headfirst into the toilet bowl while flushing the toilet, giving Courtney a swirly.

  "DROWN, BITCH!" Natalie shrieked, repeatedly flushing the toilet. Courtney flailed her arms around, grabbed the toilet seat, snapped it in half, and stabbed Natalie's ankle.

  "AHHHH! YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Natalie screamed, releasing Courtney, who gasped for air, her hair dripping with toilet water.

  "Oh my gu-guh..." Courtney whimpered before throwing up into the toilet bowl.

  Natalie removed the sharp ceramic pieces from her ankle and tossed the shards to the floor with a clatter.

  "Okay, bitch, for reals, I really don't wanna do this shit!" Natalie said, her chest heaving, her voice sounding exhausted.

  Courtney, still retching, simply turned her head and muttered, "Fuck yo- urp," before continuing to vomit into the toilet.

  Natalie, her ankle throbbing, limped out of the bathroom before stopping to say, “You know, one of these days I kinda wish this shit would stop, but until you learn to become a decent fucking human being, I don't think that will ever happen."

  Courtney’s retching echoed in the stall; she didn't hear Natalie at all.

  Meanwhile, at the red carpet premiere for ‘Kepler: A Dream in the Making’

  The Goo Goo Gaga Cineplace was completely surrounded by thousands of fans cheering and screaming at the top of their lungs.

  Crowds saw the long, pearly white limo approaching and ran up to meet their heroes, only to get run over by the limo.

  Thud, thud, thud, thud.

  The sounds of fans rolling underneath the limo continued until it came to a stop.

  A security guard in a black suit ran up to the blood-smeared door and opened it. Maddy and Bree Kepler stepped out, both wearing gorgeous, sparkling dresses. Maddy was in red and Bree was in blue.

  The twins walked in rhythm, their stylish blonde hair bouncing with every step.

  The crowd was going nuts, and paparazzi were snapping every single shot they could of the twins.

  A lone fan broke through the flimsy barriers, her voice a desperate, cracking plea. "I LOVE YOU, KEPLER SISTERS!" she shrieked, her outstretched arms wide open, hoping for a hug.

  Two security guards intercepted the girl and zapped her with a stun gun.

  ZAP!

  This was followed by the sting of pepper spray. The girl fell to the ground, her cries muffled by the thud of batons, and her body was dragged away like a rolled-up carpet. The Kepler sisters, their smiles unwavering, continued their rehearsed walk, their eyes fixed on the distant entrance.

  When the twins reached the main entrance, two security guards swung open the heavy glass doors. Once inside, the doors slammed shut behind them.

  Instantly, a massive 200-inch screen draped down in front of the building as the Kepler sisters came on with cheerful smiles. The crowd went ballistic seeing their idols in large 16k definition.

  The video was pre-recorded. Of course, the fans didn't know that. Maddy and Bree Kepler had long since left the Cineplace, leaving their fans with their pre-recorded message.

  Maddy Kepler spoke into the microphone. "We'd like to thank each and every one of you for coming today for the premiere of our film, 'Kepler: A Dream in the Making!'"

  "The film is an autobiography of our rise to stardom," Bree Kepler chimed in. "Which, actually, was last week today! Yay, happy anniversary, sis!" She gave Maddy a playful nudge, their smiles widening in perfect unison.

  While the fans were stuck with the pre-recorded video, Maddy and Bree were at a luxurious spa miles away from the Cineplace. The Kepler twins were lounging in plush robes, sipping champagne. Maxwell Powers, their manager, approached them with a broad grin on his face.

  "Congratulations, ladies," he laughed, raising his own glass. "Another smash hit. You know how to play the game!"

  "Duh," Maddy scoffed, flipping her hair, a diamond-studded comb glinting in the soft spa light. "We told you, premieres are so last season. We needed a spa day. My aura was simply suffering."

  "Exactly," Bree spoke up, applying a shimmering gel face mask. "All that talking gives us wrinkles!"

  Maxwell chuckled. "Of course, of course. Whatever you ladies desire. But," he leaned forward, his eyes glowing with dollar signs, "I have an even bigger opportunity for you two. Something that will take your fame and launch that shit into the fucking stratosphere!"

  He pointed a small remote toward a glass panel, and the panel displayed sleek, metallic suits of armor, each piece gleaming with a dangerous, high-tech sheen. "Think of it: superheroines. Not just pop stars, but icons. You'll be the face of a new generation. Forget 'influencers', you'll be saviors!”

  The twins exchanged glances and looked back at Maxwell.

  “Pass!” they both said.

  “What?!” Maxwell growled.

  "Superheroes are like ten years ago!" Maddy scoffed, a bubble of her champagne popping against her lips as she took a sip. "Please. We're pop stars, not cosplayers. And those suits look, like, totally unflattering."

  "Yeah," Bree added, wrinkling her nose, her facial mask rippling. "And those suits look heavy. We'd break a nail. Or worse, get a run in our tights."

  Maxwell's smile vanished. "Ladies, you signed a contract. A legally binding contract that gives me complete control over your image and your career. I can make this all disappear. You'll be back to making country music in your shitty mobile home before you can say 'Hick-Op!'"

  The twins gasped. A flicker of genuine fear showed. "You wouldn't," Maddy whispered.

  "Wouldn't I?" Maxwell chuckled. "Don't underestimate me, ladies. I built you up from nothing, and I can tear you down just as easily. Now, are we going to be superheroes, or are we going to be nobodies?"

  "Ugggh, fine, whatever. Just get out of here. I want to talk this over with my sister," Maddy whined, waving a dismissive hand.

  "Alright ladies, enjoy your spa treatment!" Maxwell chuckled, walking out the double doors.

  "Bitch, what the fuck are we gonna do?!" Bree panicked, her voice rising an octave.

  "Relax, we're gonna do the hero shit, and we'll be like, super mega-famous. Think of the merch!" Maddy reassured her sister. "Besides, there's no way we'll actually get hurt. It'll be like that one shitty Viewtuber. You know, the one who won that boxing match beating up a retired old man?"

  "Ooh, yeah! Man, that was so fucked up!" Bree nodded.

  “Exactly. Besides, this town needs a cleanup anyway. It's such a shithole out there,” Maddy sighed, sipping on her champagne.

  Bree looked at her sister and thought about something burning in the back of her mind. "Are we doing the right thing? Our music, I mean. We used to be about the soul, not the fame or our brands. Remember how Pee Paw encouraged us to sing? How we sang the national anthem at the rodeo and everyone clapped? I missed that..."

  Without even looking at her sister, Maddy responded, "Get your head out of your ass and look where we are! Fuck that shit. We're better off, trust me."

  Bree sighed and nodded. "Yeah... I guess you're right..."

  つづく

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