"Hello, I'm Ted Warner, live on location with Starlight Princess, who has just rescued... a kitty cat. Tell me, Miss Princess, how is the cat doing?"

  "Good morning, Ted!" Harmony beamed. "Yes, she's doing fine. Her owner is happy to have her back, and I'm just so happy to have been in the right place at the right time!"

  "Right. So, can you tell us what's up with the shake-up within your team? We've been getting reports that The Cutie Princesses have been causing a lot of destruction lately. What do you have to say about that?" Ted held the microphone anxiously, awaiting an answer.

  "Oh, well... that's certainly not true. Cutie Princess is all about embracing love and friendship, and justice! I'll have you know Lunar Knight is the sweetest, most wonderful friend I've ever had. We always clean up after our battles." Harmony's smile tightened slightly.

  Off in the distance, Natalie and Courtney could be seen arguing, their voices faint. They began to shove each other, then began pulling each other's hair while slapping and punching each other.

  "Of course. And what about these reports of casualties and the mall being torn to pieces?" Ted pressed.

  "Those are non-Cutie Princess-related events, I can assure you. Lunar Knight and I spent all day repairing the mall!" Harmony's smile became even more strained.

  "YOU WANNA GO, BITCH?!" Natalie's voice carried across the distance.

  "BRING IT, WHORE!" Courtney retorted.

  They transformed into Nebula Ninja and Cosmic Cheetah, respectively, and began slashing at each other, toppling trees and disappearing into the forest behind the school.

  "Thank you, Miss Princess, that'll be all for today," Ted said, a glint in his eye.

  "And thank you, Mister Warner! Well, I must be off; lives are at stake!" Harmony sprinted away, leaping towards the city.

  The camera remained focused on the distant fight. "Keep it rolling, keep it rolling!" Ted grinned, his eyes wide with excitement.

  The At-Risk Youth Group had been dismissed for the evening. Joan and Harmony were the only ones left in the classroom. As Harmony was putting away stacks of board games that no one touched into the closet, Joan grabbed a large plastic trash bag and sorted all the bags into a neat pile.

  "Whew, that's the last bag." Joan smiled proudly as she turned to Harmony, who was still busy dusting the classroom.

  "Shall I escort you home, Milady?" Joan asked, her eyes filled with concern.

  "Thank you, but I've got a ton of cleaning up here," Harmony replied, her voice slightly muffled as she wrestled with a stack of cardboard boxes. Joan stepped in to help her, and together they threw the boxes into a large green recycling bin. "Thank you, Joan, you can go on without me. I'll be fine!" She hummed a cheerful tune as she began organizing the cluttered closet.

  "I'm afraid I can't just leave you doing all the work, Milady," Joan said, her smile fading slightly.

  "Joan, don't worry about me, please, just go home without me. You deserve a rest," Harmony chirped, dusting the oak table.

  "Nay, a knight shall never leave a lady alone at this hour. Tell you what? I'll throw out all this garbage and I'll come back to further assist you." Joan smiled warmly.

  "Aww, thank you, Joan... Alright, you go ahead and take care of the trash. I'll be here waiting for you!" Harmony chirped.

  "I'll be but a moment's notice, Milady!" Joan grinned as she wheeled the plastic bags and recycling bin out of the classroom. With a gentle click, she closed the door, her footsteps and plastic wheels echoing down the long, empty hallway, the sound fading into the silence of the deserted school.

  Meanwhile In the fathomless void of space, aboard his beetle-shaped command ship, Emperor Sylak was sleeping on his ornate, bioluminescent throne, his cheek resting on his fist, gently snoring. His latest nefarious scheme? To strike under the cloak of night, a stroke of evil genius he was certain would finally bring the Cutie Princesses to their knees.

  On the dashboard, a small pink clock with Starlight Princess in the middle, her arms as the hour and minute hands, clicked, and the shrill ringing of the alarm clock erupted, shattering the silence and jolting the Weevils into a panicked frenzy. One particularly unfortunate Weevil scrambled to silence the infernal device, but it was too late. Emperor Sylak's eyes snapped open, blazing with incandescent fury. "WHO DARES DISTURB MY CELESTIAL SLUMBER?!" he roared, his voice echoing through the ship's bridge like a cosmic thunderclap. He glared down at the trembling Weevil.

  "Sire, wait! This was your plan, remember? You wanted to attack the girls when they were sleeping!" the Weevil stammered, his antennae twitching nervously.

  "Huh? Oh, my! We're actually doing this? I'm actually going to follow through with a plan and not abandon it at the last minute? Oh, joyous day! Where have you been hiding this initiative?!" he bellowed.

  Emperor Sylak peered at the shimmering Hologlobe, his eyes widening at the sight of Harmony all alone in the classroom. "Could it be...? My destined bride, ALONE?! Oppor-tu-nit-y!" he sang, his voice a high-pitched, almost hysterical warble.

  "Alright, now, who do I send?" he mused, tapping a razor-sharp claw against the armrest of his throne, activating its touchscreen display, pulling up various Beetle information, each species a different danger of destruction. "Someone capable, someone who won't disappoint me."

  "But, sire," the Weevil blurted out, interrupting the Emperor's reverie, "why not just go down there and get her yourself?"

  "What?!" Sylak demanded, his eyes narrowing to slits.

  "You're overthinking this, sire," the Weevil stammered, his voice barely a whisper. "She's all alone. Practically all by herself! Why don't you just go down there and get her?"

  "Hmmm..." Sylak pondered, his expression shifting from annoyance to contemplation. Suddenly, with a swift, brutal motion, the Weevil was launched out of an airlock, hurtling into the frigid, star-dusted abyss of space. "He was definitely sus!" Sylak muttered, adjusting his throne.

  His eyes looked back at the touchscreen display and grinned wildly. "Oooh! Now this one seems more than capable! I choose *him*!" He pressed on the screen, confirming the next Beetle to be dispatched to Earth.

  "Starlight Princess shall be mine within the hour! Muahahaha!" He laughed maniacally

  Back in the deserted classroom, Harmony diligently packed away the remnants of the day. She took a stack of student journals, their pages overflowing with profanity and crude sketches of dicks, tits, and flip animations of stick figures engaging in various violent acts, a testament to her failed attempts at promoting freedom writing.

  It's almost as if Hollywood was full of shit and being a white savior isn't as rewarding as it actually seems.

  She then turned her attention to a box of glittery stickers, meant to reward good behavior, now coated in a thick layer of dust, a sad testament to her unused incentives. Yes, it was just another quiet night alone in the classroom, the silence broken only by the rustling of papers and the sigh of her own weary optimism. "I wonder what's taking Joan so long?" she wondered quietly.

  Suddenly, a low, guttural rumble vibrated through the floor, shaking the very foundations of the classroom.

  "Whoa! An earthquake?!" Harmony, her eyes wide with terror, instinctively dove under the large oak desk, her heart pounding against her chest.

  In the suffocating darkness beneath the desk, she noticed her necklace emitting a bright, pulsating glow. "Weevils!" she gasped, her voice barely a whisper.

  With a deafening BOOM, the classroom floor buckled and gave way, desks collapsing into the gaping hole. The sounds of splintering wood and clattering debris echoed through the room. A series of heavy thuds echoed from the newly formed chasm, signaling the arrival of something large and menacing.

  Harmony clamped her hands over her mouth, stifling a scream, her body trembling uncontrollably. The stomping grew louder with each step, the vibrations shaking the remaining desks, sending them skittering across the floor. The Beetle Creature, whatever it was, systematically flipped desks, its movements deafening, its presence a suffocating wave of dread.

  Just as Harmony's terror reached its peak, her phone, nestled in her pocket, erupted with the saccharine melody of the Sailing Star Cutie Princess theme song. The J-pop tune, catchy and upbeat, filled the room with its egregious cheerfulness. She fumbled for the phone, her fingers shaking, and accidentally pressed the speaker button.

  "?Hola? Aye, ?Cómo estás! ??Qué pasa?!" a cheerful voice boomed through the speaker, oblivious to the chaos.

  The desk above Harmony was abruptly flipped over, revealing her huddled form, miraculously unscathed. She whimpered, her voice barely audible. "I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number...

  The classroom door kicked open, the glass on the door's frame shattered into pieces as Joan burst into the crumbled classroom, her necklace pulsing with an urgent, ethereal glow.

  "Lady Celestia?!" she yelled, her voice raw with panic, frantically scanning the pitch-black room. The air was thick with dust, and she coughed as she stumbled, her foot catching on a loose floorboard, and plunged into the gaping hole in the middle of the classroom.

  The darkness below was a suffocating void. Joan's heart hammered against her chest as she realized Harmony was taken. "LADY CELESTIA!" she screamed, her voice echoing down the tunnel beneath the school, a desperate, agonizing cry that reverberated into the distance.

  Joan tried to compose herself, but as Harmony's sworn protector, this was a devastating blow to her honor.

  "I must... I must gather the Cutie Princesses! Surely Lady Natalie and Lady Courtney would assist me!" Joan thought naively, resting Harmony's life in the hands of the two most unwilling people to ever give a fuck on the planet.

  After surviving the dreaded youth group and any potential muggings, Natalie finally made it back home in one piece, a place she wasn't exactly proud of. Her house, a poor excuse of a building plagued by rodents and raccoons often killing each other on the roof, stood in a shitty ghetto neighborhood. The windows, barred with rusted iron gates, offered no means of entry or escape, not that she desired any. For Natalie, an antisocial soul with a deep-seated disdain for the world, home was her sanctuary, her only refuge from the chaos outside.

  "I just wanna get some fucking sleep," she muttered, her voice heavy with the weariness of a long evening spent at the dreaded Youth Group.

  She rummaged through her backpack, her fingers closing around the cold metal of her rustic key. The keychain had a skull and a miniature revolver, dangling ominously. With a click, she unlocked the door, the stale stench of cheap alcohol assaulting her nostrils. Natalie stepped inside and slammed the door behind her, the resounding thud echoing through the cramped space. She didn't care if she had woken up her alcoholic mother, who was sleeping once again on the living room sofa.

  She locked the door with three different sets of locks and bolts and then trudged towards her bedroom, a chaotic mess of discarded clothes and empty bottles littering the floor. Without bothering to remove her shoes, she collapsed face-down onto the rumpled bed, her body sinking into the worn mattress.

  Just as Natalie's eyelids fluttered shut, her window rattled violently. She snapped awake, adrenaline surging, her hand instinctively darting under the pillow, grabbing a worn, serrated knife. She lunged towards the window, the blade glinting in the dim light.

  "Back off, motherfucker! Rent ain't due for another week!" she snarled, her voice a low, menacing growl.

  But to her surprise, it was Joan, her face etched with frantic concern, her eyes wide and pleading.

  "Wait... oh... it's you..." Natalie muttered, the knife still clutched in her hand. She lowered it slightly. "What the fuck do you want?" she asked with annoyance as she leaned over to the gated window. The rusted hinges groaned as she barely managed to lift the heavy wooden frame, its weakened surface threatening to crumble.

  This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

  Joan's words tumbled out in a rapid-fire torrent, her voice trembling with urgency. "Lady Natalie, I implore you, I beseech your aid in the search for Lady Celestia! She has been abducted, and I require the assistance of the Cutie Princesses!"

  Natalie rubbed her eyes, her mind struggling to process the barrage of frantic words. "Okay... bitch... slow down and calmly tell me," she said, her voice heavy with sleep-deprived irritation. "How the fuck did you find me, and what the hell do you want?"

  Joan, her brow furrowed with worry, tried to explain again, her voice trembling slightly. "Lady Celestia has been abducted!"

  "Right, and who the fuck is Lady Celestia? Is she some kind of queen or something?" Natalie asked, her patience wearing thin.

  Joan clasped her hands together, her gaze drifting towards the sliver of moonlight. She launched into a dramatic soliloquy. "Lady Celestia is the very essence of my existence. Without her, I am but a sailor lost in a sea of troubles. Her radiant guidance illuminates my path. My heart bleeds for the loss of my Lady. She is—"

  "Okay, I don't have time for this bullshit! Who the fuck is she?!" Natalie demanded, her voice rising in exasperation.

  "Ha-Harm-mony," Joan stammered, the name catching in her throat like a forbidden word. The mere thought of addressing Harmony by her given name felt like a sin as a knight is never to speak a lady's first name ever!

  "Oh... that pink-haired slut... Ugh... Fine, fuck it. It's not like I've got anything better to do," Natalie grumbled, rolling her eyes.

  "Oh, thank you! Thank you ever so much, Lady Natalie! You know... Lady Celestia speaks highly of you and—"

  "I don't give a fuck," Natalie interrupted. "Just stay there, don't fuckin' move, and I'll be out in a bit."

  As Natalie closed her window and left her room, Joan was alone with her thoughts.

  "Hang in there, Lady Celestia... Help is on the way..." Joan prayed softly

  In a beautiful, large mansion, nestled within a secluded, gated community perched high on a hill, Courtney lounged in her overly large bedroom. She lay down on her king-sized, cloud-like bed, wearing an elegant, golden yellow silk night robe that shimmered under the soft glow of her bedside lamp. Her feet, adorned with plush, sunshine yellow fuzzy slippers, kicked slowly as Courtney eagerly watched television, her hands rested on her dried green face mask cheeks. Both the robe and slippers, naturally, were from Smexi's a girl's best friend!, the high-end designer store catering to the whims of high-fashion heiresses.

  "And now, we return to 'I'm Rich and You're Not!' on NTV, the television network for the delightfully spoiled," the television blared, its screen casting a flickering light across the room.

  "Ooh, this is gonna be good!" Courtney's grin widened, her eyes sparkling with malicious glee. "They're finally evicting that whole neighborhood to build a new luxury mall!" Courtney giggled.

  "Please, just give me another week!" a desperate, trembling voice pleaded from the television.

  "We've already told you to vacate these premises, we've already removed your vehicle, and we towed it at our discretion. You now owe us $500 on top of the $1800 in overdue rent," a stern, condescending voice replied.

  "But you're evicting me and my neighbors!" The woman pleaded.

  "That's not our problem," said the stern voice.

  Courtney erupted in a fit of high-pitched giggles, her body shaking with unrestrained amusement. "Enjoy the street life, bitch!" she cackled, a wicked grin spreading across her cream-covered face.

  Just as Courtney was fully engrossed in the schadenfreude of her television show, a sudden, jarring thud echoed from her open window. She shrieked, a high-pitched, indignant sound, and spun around to see Joan face down on the plush carpet, and Natalie perched precariously on top of her.

  "I told you this was a stupid fucking idea!" Natalie grumbled, struggling to regain her footing.

  "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?! HOW DID YOU GET PAST MY SECURITY?!" Courtney shrieked, her voice reaching a near-hysterical pitch as she covered herself with a silky soft blanket.

  Natalie, still dusting herself off, paused to consider the question. "Hmm, let's see... oh yeah, I just told them I was from Ready 2 Eats and had a delivery for you. They practically rolled out the red carpet."

  "Really?" Courtney asked.

  "No, you stupid fucking bitch! Obviously, we hopped over the walls using our stupid fucking powers!" Natalie retorted, gesturing to their transformed states: Nebula Ninja, sleek and dark, and Lunar Knight, shining in her silvery armor.

  "Lady Courtney, I beseech your—" Joan began, only to be abruptly cut off by Natalie.

  "The pink-haired bitch got kidnapped, and we need your help. You in or out?" Natalie demanded, her tone leaving no room for negotiation.

  "Uhh, let me think about it... How about NO! Now get the fuck out before I send my security team on you!" Courtney snapped.

  Natalie, however, was now fixated on the television screen. "What kind of fucked-up garbage is this shit? I-is THAT MY NEIGHBORHOOD?!" she shrieked, her eyes widening in disbelief.

  "JUST GET OUT!" Courtney screamed, her face flushed with rage.

  " 'Tis no use, we cannot force her," Joan said, rising to her feet, her voice laced with a hint of menace. "But know this, Lady Courtney, I have severely lost all respect for you!"

  "And I don't give a flying fuck! Now GO!" Courtney hissed.

  "Yeah, fuck her. Let's go," Natalie grumbled, pulling a razor-sharp shuriken from her belt. With a flick of her wrist, she hurled it directly at the multi-million-dollar 8k OLED television, causing it to erupt in a shower of sparks and flames.

  "NOOOO! OH MY FUCKING GOD, NOOOO!" Courtney wailed, her voice a symphony of despair.

  With a synchronized leap, Natalie and Joan vanished through the window, disappearing into the inky blackness of the night

  Meanwhile in a secluded woods, Harmony was bound tightly to a wooden post. Straining against her restraints, she tried to reach the Pink gem on her bracelet to transform, but she was unable to touch it.

  "Just settle down, princess, and you'll be whisked away to your new, permanent home!" The large Beetle cackled, his voice a gravelly rasp that sent uneasy shivers down Harmony's spine.

  "Just who are you, anyway?!" Harmony demanded, her voice a mixture of fear and defiance.

  "I AM TREMOR, THE STAG BEETLE!" Tremor grinned, revealing a row of jagged, mud-caked teeth.

  "More like Dung Beetle," Harmony retorted, wrinkling her nose and closing her eyes, shifting her head away from Tremor as if to shield herself from an unbearable stench.

  "You little brat! Don't you dare insult my cousin like that!" Tremor roared, his antennae twitching with indignation.

  "It doesn't matter," Harmony declared, her voice filled with unwavering hope. "My friends will be here any second, and they'll defeat you!"

  "Oh no, your friends? Oh, I'm so scared!" Tremor chuckled and laughed, feigning fear.

  "You really should be!" Harmony spoke over Tremor's laughter. "Lunar Knight is one of the most powerful warriors I've ever had the pleasure to work with and... and... And Nebula Ninja and Cosmic Cheetah are... Well... They don't play nice! And you'll get really hurt!" Harmony warned, trying to genuinely warn Tremor how badly he was going to get murdered by Natalie and Courtney, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

  "Ah, whatever," Tremor grumbled, turning his attention to a crude, insect-shaped communicator in his claw.

  "Emperor Sylak, sir! Come in, sir! Why aren't you answering?! I've secured the girl!" Tremor shouted into the communicator.

  However, in the vastness of space inside a large beetle-shaped ship was the sound of rhythmic snoring. Emperor Sylak had fallen asleep. His snores echoed throughout the ship's metallic hold. All the Weevils aboard trembled with fear. They were too scared to disturb their slumbering leader.

  "SIR?! Come in, sir?!" Tremor shouted, his voice cracking with frustration. "Gah! It's no use!" He slammed his fist against the communicator, sending a shower of sparks flying. "DAMN IT!" he hollered into the darkness.

  "Well, well, looks you're on your own." Harmony smiled smugly. "If you let me go now, I promise not to tell my friends, and you can go back to... whatever it is you creatures do."

  "Shut up, Princess! We'll just have to wait until dawn. Yeah, that's right, dawn! By then the Emperor will wake up and you'll be forced to watch the Earth explode into a million pieces! Gahahaha!"

  "Oh, Joan, where are you...?" Harmony whimpered softly.

  The pitch-black sky was slowly turning a light blue; dawn was creeping over the horizon. Joan and Natalie were wandering through a thick forest with chirping crickets and cooing birds.

  "This is fucking stupid. Look, dude, it's almost daylight. I gotta be home before my mom throws another fucking fit." Natalie grumbled.

  Joan, who was using her necklace as a compass, focused on its glow, as it led them closer to Harmony.

  "Hush now! We're almost to Lady Celestia! She needs our help!" Joan commanded.

  "What she needs is to take care of herself. I don't know how you two goody-goodies have been alive for this long, but in the real world, it's either learn to fight or die!" Natalie said, her voice laced with pure annoyance and disillusionment of being a magical girl.

  "Lady Natalie, we may not always see eye to eye, but given what Lady Celestia has told me, I put trust in her as I do in you. Now, please, just follow my instructions and stay close," Joan urged Natalie, too worried over Harmony to argue.

  "Alright, fine, fuck it. I mean, what's another slap to the face for being out late? Not like you have any real problems at home," Natalie retorted, her voice a low growl.

  As the two Cutie Princesses marched through the woods, Joan's crystal necklace began glowing brightly.

  "Look! Up ahead!" Joan whispered to Natalie.

  Right before them was Tremor, who was nestled in a makeshift foxhole, his massive round beetle body covered in a thick layer of dirt. He snored soundly, waiting for daylight. And just a few feet away was Harmony, who had also fallen asleep from screaming all night for help. She remained tied up to a wooden post.

  "Alright, Lady Natalie, you stay here and cover me while I go in for the charge!" Joan instructed.

  "That's a stupid idea. Why don't we go in together? Fuck him up? Tear his limbs off?" Natalie questioned Joan's orders.

  "Nay, I cannot risk you being captured as well. Now please focus!" Joan gave a hushed whisper, not wanting to wake Tremor up.

  Joan took a few steps back and then rushed forward, taking a magnificent leap into the early morning sky. A cry pierced the silence of the woods.

  "UNHAND HER, FIEND!" Joan's voice echoed heroically as she descended from the sky, her Lunar sword pointed downwards, glowing a vibrant white with a gleaming beacon of knightly fury.

  Joan, however, missed her mark and impaled the ground next to Tremor. Joan, stunned and disoriented, had no time to react as she tried to pull the sword, which was deep underneath the dirt, only for Tremor to roll over on his back, crushing Joan deep within the crevices of his shell, her screams muffled against the dirt floor.

  Tremor, still half-asleep, mumbled, "I don't wanna go to school today, Mama..."

  Natalie just rolled her eyes and said, "I keep telling her that was a stupid idea..." Natalie was observing the scene with her hands casually tucked into the pockets of her dark ninja hoodie.

  "Fuck this, I'm going home," Natalie grumbled, her voice heavy with exhaustion. As she turned to leave, a sudden, brutal punch slammed into her face, sending her tumbling down a muddy hill. She skidded to a halt, her face inches from Tremor, who was still sleeping soundly.

  "BITCH!" Courtney shrieked, now transformed into her Cosmic Cheetah form, complete with twitching kitty ears, razor-sharp claws, and a vibrant yellow skirt. "YOU CAME TO MY FUCKING HOUSE AND DESTROYED MY FUCKING TV! THAT SHIT WAS FROM JAPAN! DO YOU REALIZE HOW EXPENSIVE THE IMPORT RATES ARE?!" she growled, her voice a feral snarl.

  Natalie, her eyes narrowed with fury, drew her Ninjatō, the polished blade glinting in the morning light. She snatched a smoke bomb from her belt and hurled it to the ground, the small device erupting in a thick cloud of smoke. Unfortunately, it also made a bang loud enough to startle Tremor.

  "What the... Who? What? Where?" Tremor sputtered, his voice thick with sleep and confusion as he looked up and watched Natalie and Courtney about to fight.

  Courtney's eyes narrowed to examine the smoke. She scanned the scene, oblivious to the shadow figure lurking in the trees above. Natalie, poised for a deadly strike, launched herself downwards, her Ninjatō aimed at Courtney's back. Courtney, however, spun around at the last moment, her claws scraping against the Ninjatō's silver blade, sending sparks flying. As Natalie somersaulted backwards, landing perfectly a few feet away from Courtney, her Ninjatō was drawn.

  "It didn't have to be this way, you self-entitled whore!" Natalie hissed, her voice filled with frustration.

  "Fuck off with that shit! I'm entitled? Who gets the fucking food stamps, the rent control, the cash aid, and all the other shit you get for free and then begs for more! And you call me entitled?!" Courtney retorted. "I've seen through the lies of all it! If TV and podcasts have taught me anything, it's that you broke-as-shit parasites would rather sit at home expecting to be paid for nothing than go out there and get a job like a hardworking American!" Courtney smiled, so smug, so sure of herself.

  "Jesus Christ, you're even more fucked up than I thought. Are you even listening to yourself? Who the fuck told you all that shit?! In fact, never mind, I'm not gonna hear it. I'm putting you down, kitty cat!" Natalie snarled, her teeth gritted.

  "LET'S GO, BITCH!" Courtney shrieked, her claws extended, ready to tear into her opponent.

  "Oh ho ho ho! This looks like fun!" Tremor said excitedly.

  Natalie and Courtney charged at each other, screaming at the top of their lungs as Natalie's Ninjatō swung down onto Courtney's claws. Sparks flew. The two girls were locked in combat, Natalie and Courtney gritting their teeth, trying to subdue the other. Their grunts were strained by the physical tug-of-war. The sword locked within the claws, the two pushing back and forth with neither losing ground.

  "Why do you gotta be so goddamn needy?!" Courtney spat out.

  "Why do you have to be such a fucking moron?!" Natalie shot back.

  Tremor, enjoying the duel, felt a strange itch within the crevices of his armored back. "What the heck is that?" he grumbled, his arms barely reaching his large shell. "Damn it! Get this thing off me!" He whined as he backed up against a towering oak tree, scraping his shell against the rough bark.

  A series of muffled screams emanated from within his shell as he began to vigorously rub his back against the tree, attempting to dislodge the source of his discomfort.

  "I swear it better not be another goddamn raccoon!" he roared, grinding his back against the tree with increasing ferocity. Suddenly, Joan, her face covered in splinters and bark, fell out from his shell, coughing violently and spitting out a mouthful of termites.

  "BY MY LADY'S HAND, I SHALL VANQUISH YOU HIDEOUS BEAST!" Joan shrieked, her voice a mixture of disgust and knightly fury, as she attempted to brush the remaining splinters and insects from her disheveled form.

  "Yuck! Say it, don't spray it! Hehehe," Tremor taunted, watching poor Joan spit out dead wood and bugs.

  Natalie and Courtney were now rolling around the dirt floor, their hair covered in twigs and sticks as they're punching and pulling at each other's hair.

  "I hate you!" Courtney shrieked, her hand full of Natalie's hair as she punches directly at Natalie's face.

  "I hate you more!" Natalie hissed as she punches Courtney's ribs, each punch harder than the last, knocking the wind out of Courtney.

  "BITCH, QUIT IT! YOU'RE GONNA CRACK MY RIBS!" Courtney yelled.

  "MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO FUCKING THIN YOUR RIBS WOULDN'T BE SO FRAGILE!" Natalie screamed at the top of her lungs, furiously punching at Courtney.

  Meanwhile, Joan was swinging her Lunar sword at Tremor, whose thick armor shrugged the blade away.

  "This is for kidnapping the Starlight Princess, you horrible creature!" Joan shouted with every swing of her sword.

  Tremor then grabbed Joan and slammed her to the ground, pinning her down and forcing her to watch Natalie and Courtney fight each other, his grip tightening on Joan's armored body.

  "Take a good look at your useless team. Your Princess is my captive, your underlings are too busy trying to kill each other, and I'll be the one to crush you like how you humans crush my family!"

  Joan grunted and tried to pry Tremor's claw off her, but it was no use. She then turned to Natalie and Courtney and cried out, "Nebula Ninja! Cosmic Cheetah! I request your assistance immediately!"

  But it was no use. Natalie sliced multiple trees in a row as if they were made of cardboard. The lumber toppled over and crushed Courtney. The rumbling shook the ground as a cloud of smoke covered the forest. Natalie was panting heavily as she sheathed her sword and began walking away.

  "NEBULA NINJA!?" Joan shrieked in shock, watching Natalie ignore her.

  "Muahahaha! Death to the Cutie Princesses!" Tremor grinned as he raised his claw-like hand, ready to slice Joan's head off when suddenly...

  "SUCK MY FUCKING CLIT, YOU MONKEY FUCK!" Courtney shrieked, her voice a raw, animalistic roar. In a fit of blind rage, she managed to dig herself out from the fallen trees and heaved an enormous log at Natalie.

  "Oh shit!" Natalie said in surprise, who swiftly raised her Ninjatō. The silver blade sliced through the log like butter, sending both halves hurtling in opposite directions.

  The first half of the log flew towards Tremor, snatching him away from Joan. Tremor crashed into a large boulder, followed by the large log.

  "OH NOOO!" Tremor screamed in horror as he watched the log grow nearer and closer.

  SQUISH!

  Tremor's armored shell crumpled with a sickening crack. His limbs twitched before slowly resting to its side.

  The second half of the massive log flew directly towards Harmony, who was just waking up.

  "Huh... Wha-... OH MY GO—" she managed to gasp before the log slammed into her with a resounding BOOM! The forest echoed with the startled cries of birds and the rustling of dislodged leaves.

  "Lady Celestia?! Oh my Lord, Lady Celestia!?" Joan shouted as she rushed over to Harmony. With surprising strength, she heaved the massive lumber off Harmony, who lay buried beneath, her eyes spinning in dizzying circles with a goofy, disoriented smile plastered on her face.

  "Lady Celestia, are you alright?! Speak to me!" Joan said frantically as she shook Harmony's shoulders.

  "Jonesy? I'm finnnee. I just had a bad dream!" Harmony mumbled, her words slurring into nonsense.

  "Lady Celestia! I have rescued you!" Joan declared, hoisting Harmony to her feet and enveloping her in a bone-crushing hug.

  "AHH, JOAN, MY BONES!" Harmony shrieked, her voice a strained whine.

  "My sincerest apologies!" Joan exclaimed, hastily adjusting her grip on the now-wincing Harmony.

  Harmony hugged Joan and said, "I'm just so glad you're here. I've never been so scared in my life!"

  Joan held onto Harmony, sighing with relief and comfort. "Lady Celestia? I... I really L-"

  "YOU HORSE-FUCKING SLUT!" Natalie roared, her voice a guttural snarl, as she delivered a brutal roundhouse kick to Courtney, sending her rolling backwards down the hill, landing next to Tremor's crushed, bleeding corpse.

  Natalie, her eyes gleaming with feral intensity, jumped 30 meters into the air and landed beside the mangled remains and, with a sickening crack, tore off Tremor's jagged arm. Courtney, not to be outdone, ripped Tremor's leg clean off, the hollow crunch echoing through the clearing. Both girls, now covered with Tremor's squirting, emerald-green blood, began beating the shit out of each other with Tremor's limbs, their grunts and curses filling the air.

  Harmony, witnessing all of this, felt her stomach churning.

  "Oh my Go-"

  She gagged and threw up chunks of puke onto the dirt floor. Furious, Joan turned to Natalie and Courtney, needing to defend her lady's honor, and stepped forward, her eyes blazing with fury.

  "That's far enough!" Joan proclaimed, as she scruffed Natalie and Courtney like a pair of disobedient house cats.

  "HEY, WAIT, NO, NO, WE'LL STOP, WE'LL—" Natalie shrieked, her voice cut short.

  "LET ME GO, YOU FUCKING CU—" Courtney squealed, her words abruptly muffled.

  The air filled with the sickening sounds of crunching beetle shell and squelching bug guts. Joan dusted her hands, returned to Harmony, a loving smile etched on her lips. "All's well that ends well!" she proclaimed.

  Harmony, her eyes wide with horror, watched in disgust as Natalie and Courtney were now grotesquely embedded in Tremor's mangled corpse, their muffled screams echoed within his body as their legs kick wildly in the air. The screaming then turned into retching as the deadly rivals were now puking inside of Tremor.

  "Oh my Go—" Harmony gagged, and promptly emptied the contents of her stomach onto the dirt floor once more.

  Meanwhile, in the deepest, darkest part of space inside a Beetle Shaped Ship, Emperor Sylak yawned and stretched, his lips smacking as he scratches his back.

  "Mmm, I had a great sleep. So where is she? Did my beautiful bride Starlight Princess arrive yet!?" Emperor Sylak's eyes fluttered as he cups his hands together, holding them up to his cheek.

  "Umm, sire?" A small, weak Weevil nervously approached the emperor, its antenna twitching with fear. "It appears that the Cutie Princesses have once again defeated another one of your Beetle guards."

  "They WHAT?!" Emperor Sylak screamed angrily as he stood up, his cape fluttering as he towered over the Weevil.

  "S-sire! I'm sure we'll get them next time!" The small Weevil assured his Emperor.

  "DAMN YOU, CUTIE PRINCESS!" Emperor Sylak screamed as he grabbed the Weevil minion and crumpled him up like paper, crushing him alive as he squealed in agony as bones and shell fragments fly in different directions, his body now a pile of goo in the Emperor's hands.

  "Great! Now I'll have to wash the stench of failure off my hands!" The Emperor whined as he looked at his green goo-covered hands.

  つづく

  Copyright ? 2026 Cutie Circle