She didn't want to admit she enjoyed having someone in the shop with her. It was nice to have actual conversations where someone answered her. Usually she just spoke to herself and well, having one-sided arguments got her nowhere. Emrys would ask her questions back, challenge her thinking, and try so hard not to scream when he saw how she kept her notes. It was fun watching the way his green-gray eyes went wide with horror until he realized she was looking at him. Solenne sometimes showed him messy notes just to see that look. She smiled to herself.

  Her rituals had started to fall back into place. Solenne bathed in the early mornings, made her morning coffees, and started her days in her own thoughts. It felt good getting back to that. The first few mornings Emrys had arrived too early for her to enjoy things. She told him to take his time after that. Thankfully he listened. So much so that he was late that morning which she had to tell him was fine after reminding him it was fine.

  The day had started off rather well. He came in, stumbled over some words, and she gave him coffee. Her plan had been to have them both working on bundles and things to get ready for the Lustration rush. It was meant to be an easy day. Then, when he was upstairs, Diedre came into the shop.

  "Lady Veyra." Diedre spoke lowly.

  "Diedre?" Solenne looked up from the twine she had been unrolling. "How can I help you?"

  Diedre looked around. She picked her cuticles. They were raw, bleeding a little, and had seen far better days. Solenne reached out towards her, motioning for her to come close. Diedre hesitated before stepping in closer.

  "I can't help you if you don't tell me things." Like with Roxa, Solenne had to gently touch Dierdre's face to make her look right at her. "Have I ever said anything to anyone?"

  The older woman shook her head. "Bloom." She sounded so weary.

  Solenne froze. Bloom. Again? This was getting out of hand. Diedre would be the fifth person she had healed from Bloom just in the last two months. Why was it spreading so rapidly all of a sudden? They'd had years where there was barely a case and now this? She already felt the heat rising in the back of her arms despite no healing being done – yet.

  "Alright. I need you to come back by later on. I can't right now." Solenne started to explain.

  "Please... I don't know if I will last until later on I need it now Ashe-"

  The creak of the floorboard made them both tense. Solenne hadn't forgotten about Emrys. She just hadn't had a chance to tell Diedre someone else was here. Emrys made his way down, pleasantries were exchanged, and she was left trembling as she tried to figure out what she was going to do. Yes, she had said something about sending him to the Wilds but not because of this. She truly did need items that were right on the edge, easily found, and it would give her a chance to add just a drop of her blood to the Lustration tinctures. That was all she had planned.

  She told him she would get his list ready and to tidy. As soon as his back was turned, she vanished up the stairs. Solenne felt her stomach churn. The only thing in there was coffee. She couldn't afford to have that come up. Maybe a few bites of bread would calm the acid she could feel rising in her throat. Taking in a few deep breaths, she moved to the cooking area. There was bread on the counter, meant for her lunch but it needed to be eaten now. Solenne grabbed a knife, cut a slice from the round half-loaf, and quickly shoved nearly half of the slice into her mouth. "Solenne. I was wondering if there was anything I could do for you. I noticed that your hands were shaking. Do you need breakfast? I could go to the bakery up the street to get us something. I think the harrowroot is getting low too. Is that out in the Wilds or is it in the garden out back? This is still a good batch based off of the smell but I just want to make sure we have enough since Lustration is going to be happening soon."

  Hearing him ramble made her smile a little. It seemed to calm her nerves as well though she told herself it was the bread that stopped her trembling. She was about to reply when she heard the bell. Seraph's wings who was in her shop now? Solenne was starting to dislike how annoyed she was growing at customers. That was very unlike her. Customers kept this roof over her head yet she wished they would all just go away. Solenne finished the bread before going back downstairs.

  Neither of them noticed her as she reached the shop. Solenne gathered up a piece of paper and her quill. She quickly made a list of what she needed with descriptions of each item. They were easy enough that even Gwen could find what was needed. Once she finished, she spoke.

  "Her name is Gwen."

  She had to hold back a giggle as both of them jumped.

  "Sooolllll, you weren't supposed to tell the frog my name." Gwen whined.

  The girl was a troublemaker but also the only child that Solenne let into the apothecary without an adult. Solenne had tried to heal her parents but their Bloom had been too advanced. Gwen was an orphan for the exact same reasons she was. The only difference is that someone had at least tried to save the girl's parents.

  She watched the interaction between the two of them. It was cute. Emrys was indeed squinting at them. He didn't entirely remind her of a frog. She did wonder how Gwen had come up with that nickname. Hearing it did warm her heart. Gwen only gave nicknames to people she liked. In fact, it was her who began to call Solenne "Sol". She let the child call her that only to have others pick up on it as well. Anything was better than Ashen Grace she supposed.

  Seeing that Emry was still squinting, Solenne walked over to him. His glasses were still on the top of his head. Gently, she reached up, grabbed them by the long thin part, and brought them down to rest on his nose. Doing so brought her closer than they had been before. She smiled sweetly all while her heart skipped ever so slightly. She hoped her face didn't betray the sudden feeling.

  Solenne noticed his face flush. She wondered why. There was no possible way this pious man was feeling the same little skip that she had. Gwen cackling brought her out of her stupor. She looked over her shoulder at the girl who instantly stopped. However she kept a grin on her young features that reminded Solenne of a cat who had just caught a fat rat in the alleyway; content and proud. Walking over to the counter, she grabbed the paper and handed it to Emrys.

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  Gwen told him not to get eaten. Solenne just watched him leave. She looked down at the girl once Emrys had left the shop.

  "Are you going to continually harass him?"

  "Sure am." Gwen looked up at her. She winked as she stretched her arms above her head, bringing her hands to rest on the top of her messy hair.

  Solenne sighed. "Alright but try to be nice to him when you can. Emrys doesn't mean any harm."

  Gwen raised an eyebrow. Her eyes narrowed as she kept them locked on Sol. "He is from the church, Sol. To see you. Of course he means harm."

  The air between them hung heavy with silence. Solenne knew that. She just hadn't seen a reason to think he was lying to her about simply wanting to learn from her. It was true that ever since the Choir blessed the Ecclesium healers with magic that apothecaries weren't as sought out as they once were. Even the Central only had one, maybe two, left and they were far worse at their craft than Solenne was.

  "I don't think he does Gwen." She didn't sound entirely convinced.

  Gwen shrugged. "Okay Sol but don't forget I warned you. Now I'm gonna go before I miss out on lunch at Rolan's." She hugged Solenne around her waist. It was comforting yet as the girl squeezed, it left a heavy weight behind. "See you later." Gwen let her go and left the shop.

  The bell jingled. She was alone.

  Solenne stood in the silence with her eyes closed. This was getting to be too much. She breathed in deep, held it as long as her lungs would allow, then let it out. After what felt like forever, she walked to the door and opened it. She pursed her lips and whistled. Stepping back inside, she waited for Dierdre to return.

  The stairs creaked under their weight. How many times had she walked down these stairs? Never had she felt this burdened. Each step added more to it. By the time she laid Diedre in the nest, Solenne felt as if she were made of stone. She turned the older woman away from her. Her hands rested on Diedre's shoulder blades.

  "Close your eyes. Don't open them until I say."

  The heat came as it always did. It started in the center of her back and spread along her own shoulder blades. A soft orange glow broke through the fabric of her shirt. She winced. This felt more intense than last time. Her jaw clenched tight. Sweat beaded on her forehead and neck. She had to force herself to breathe when all she wanted to do was hold it until the pain passed. Solenne swallowed hard. This was far worse than when she had healed Roxa. What was going on?

  Solenne pushed through. She had to. Diedra needed her. She didn't want to lose the woman if it could be avoided. A bit of extra pain was worth a life. Wasn't it? Reaching out, she felt the last of the Bloom break apart. She pulled her hands away, refusing to look down at them. The ash spread. She already knew it had. Diedra coughed hard. She leaned over the edge of the nest to spit. Something hit the earthen ground with a wet plop.

  "Rest Diedre. I will return soon." Solenne never told Diedre to open her eyes.

  Her stomach emptied itself into the toilet so loud she wondered if people on the streets could hear her. She sobbed between choking heaves as her body tried to expel something that was no longer there. Snot clogged her nose, threatening to add itself to the bowl below if she wasn't quick to wipe it away. Solenne shook almost violently as she reached for a rag on the counter above her. Shakily, she blew her nose into it.

  She flushed the toilet. Gently, she laid herself on the floor, trying to keep her eyes open. The shop was locked, wasnt it? This wasn't going to be like last time. She could rest here. No one would disturb her. A groan came from her as she forced herself up from the floor. It took her longer than she liked to get to her feet. Solenne couldn't remember if she actually had locked the door or not. She needed to check, to leave a note for Emrys, and then she could sleep all she wanted to. Emrys would understand. He didn't seem like the type to want to get sick and this was easily passed off as a stomach sickness.

  Slowly, Solenne made her way down the stairs. She passed by the counter and opened the door to the cellar. "Diedre. Open your eyes. You can leave the shop." Usually she would have walked to her patient and led them out. She didn't have the energy this time. Diedre didn't seem bothered. In fact, she seemed grateful and blessed Solenne as much as the apothecary could take before leaving the shop behind.

  "Lock the door." She mumbled to herself as she closed the door to the cellar. Solenne wobbled. She whimpered as she stumbled to the front door. Her hand reached out for it. Fingers flexed around nothing. What? It was right there. Wait... why were there two handles?

  "Oh."

  Her world tilted as she tried reaching for the handle again. She watched it all go sideways before it went black.

  ???????????????

  A groan escaped her. She tried to sit up only to have something press against her shoulder to lay her back down. Her focus sharpened immediately to find she was in a room she didn't recognize and Emrys was staring at her with a mix of stressful relief. Her hands shot to opposite arms, glad she was still dressed in her long sleeved shirt.

  "Oh thank the Choir you're awake." Had he been crying? Why did he sound like that?

  "Where am I?" Her voice sounded so weak.

  Emrys pressed a cool rag to her head. "You're at my room in the inn. I found you laying in the shop and I couldn't take you upstairs."

  Solenne blinked hard. She slowly looked around as much as she could. Emrys kept resetting her head to look straight up. All she had managed to take in was the chair to the left and a pile of clothes near the door at her right. She focused on the scholar. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, keeping as much distance between them as he respectfully could.

  "You truly are devout." She mumbled as she closed her eyes again. "I would have forgiven you."

  "Perhaps but I would not have forgiven myself for committing such a sin."

  The mattress shifted as his weight left it. She heard him walk to somewhere. Solenne's eyes were so heavy. She could hear him dip the rag, wring it out, and return to her side. He didn't speak as he wiped her forehead again.

  "I get very hot sometimes, dizzy." She started to explain. "I usually have better control over it."

  Emrys stopped his movements. "That is what Gwen told me when she saw me carrying you out. She said you just needed to rest and you would be okay. I offered to change you into something cooler but she reminded me doing such a thing would be a sin... So I just brought you here and started cooling you off with this rag."

  Solenne was going to give Gwen whatever she wanted from the shop for free for the rest of her life. She would adopt her if she wanted. Everything could have gone so wrong if Emrys had taken her shirt off. The glow of the Mark took ages to fully fade away. Even now she was worried there was still a leftover orange tinge to the silvery feathers.

  "Thank you." She opened her eyes just enough to see him smiling at her. Solenne smiled in return before closing her eyes again. "Wake me in an hour and I will go back to the shop. We can't have people whispering now can we?" She teased with a grin. He sighed heavily and she knew he was shaking his head while being red in the face.

  Solenne rolled on her side, facing Emrys. She settled into the mattress. He started reciting the Doctrine and for the first time in years, she fell asleep to words she couldn't speak anymore.