Chapter 38Gem

  The Two Danced,

  A circle of bug and Man assembled, around Them.

  It was a vicious dance; nothing was held back from either side.

  The ant seemed to have every trick in the book: an acid-like projectile, high-pitch frequency attacks, lightning quick speed, an impenetrable exoskeleton, limbs covered with Lethal protrusions and bde-like extensions.

  Suna had,

  A Knife.

  But that was all she needed, to contest with the Fear-Inducing Ant twice her size, whose wings let it flit around, a movement reminiscent of normal bugs. It’s weight was Light. Like Suna’s.

  Sustain. Crescendo.

  The Breaths of the Audience were held. Fervor, Anticipation, Worry, Hope, Hope! Hope in this small girl, this small, Monstrous girl. Hope! For Life!

  The Buzz of the Insects Rose, the Dance became even more Brutal, even more Gruesome. Primal. Where were the Elegant Spells, or thoughtful Utilizations of Terrain, or Cooperation? There was none of that. Only a Real Fight.

  Man and Bug could not withhold their emotions, They erupted. Both sides cheered, for their Savior, their Hope, their viscous cries thick with Passion, and Hope, Hope!

  Suna felt it. Their Hope.

  And she paid it no heed.

  All that mattered,

  was putting this bug in its pce.

  Sssh.

  Sssh.

  They didn’t seem to be prepared for Suna’s calcuted gambit. Suna did not hesitate, unlike this Ant. She withdrew her knife and chopped off its arm, which stuck out through Suna’s back, a movement as quick as a fsh.

  The Ant stumbled, their chest just pierced, by the ridiculously Sharp Knife.

  They were emitting some sort of Noise. Fear.

  Suna looked down on the Ant, which seemed to be, almost, pleading.

  She was disappointed.

  She grabbed the head of the armless ant, And looked at it, its Fear and Worry being transmitted to her.

  She looked pinly at it.

  And she separated the head from its body.

  Silence.

  What a polite audience.

  She raised the head.

  The People Cheered.

  The Bugs scattered, their Fear and Horror apparent even through their collective shrill buzzes.

  What a bunch of weird bugs. Suna did not ponder the Defeated any longer.

  She kicked the head. Ready to move on. Angie and Lilt ran up to her, who was so badly injured they couldn’t believe she could still stand and walk without even showing a wince of pain.

  “Erykh antra Im, Feredoh!”

  “Impra Gorgheim!”

  The two concentrated on their spells, huddling around the now sitting Suna. She looked over at the People.

  Beryl had a smirk.

  The Ptinum Hunters showed looks of… Fear? It was hard to decipher their emotions through their shock.

  The other hunters looked at her with Awe, with Admiration. They respected the Strong.

  The common folk, which couldn’t fit in the rooms, were in varying states of hurt. Suna looked at the few corpses and incapacitated bodies that id, scattered, on the ground. The Hunters soon took notice, and they started healing whoever they could immediately.

  Sigh. Suna looked up. At the bright, blue sky. This… was nothing. Suna knew. Just how strong beasts and people could become. She remembered Belle, she remembered those diamond-rated beasts. Could I… Fight them, now?

  She thought about the dark-armored Figure. The Commander. Am I… any stronger, now? It was hard for Suna to confidently answer that question. Her Feeling… was that she wasn’t any faster. She wasn’t any stronger, physically. But something… something was different. She grew… somehow. She pondered the strange thing, that was Strength. It was so much more than physical and magical capabilities.

  The bugs left the caravan alone.

  Suna wasn’t the only one who felt irritated, No, completely distrustful of the poor decision-making of the caravan’s leaders. The leader, a wide, round, Merchant, assembled the hunters. They, first and foremost, thanked Suna. For saving the lives of every surviving person. They tried to expin, that this level of activity was far, far above the forecasted amount, that they had no way of foreseeing such danger.

  The Hunters grimaced. A couple unlucky parties lost a member or two. Such words did absolutely nothing to ease their pain.

  Suna didn’t care. She wanted to talk to Amy. She wanted to be with her friends. She wanted to get going, already.

  The Merchant walked up to Suna, offering her a bag. She looked in it. Gold coins. She didn’t care about it, but she wordlessly accepted it, not even bothering to utter any words. She did her best not to roll her eyes, or make any rude expressions.

  Gazes. If the gazes before were of intrigue, suspicion, or just overall awareness, now… They were a hundred times more intense. Fervor, Gratitude, even Worship… Suna didn’t know how to respond to those gazes, or the words that would come her way. So she just ignored them.

  Finally, after all the stupid formalities and whatnot, Suna was able to be with her friends again. The caravan continued.

  “I, I was so, so worried.” Angie soberly hugged Suna.

  “...” Lilt looked at Suna.

  “Hehe.” Beryl made a subtle giggle.

  …oh no. They’re… looking at me. Differently.

  Suna’s gaze wavered. She didn’t know what to say. Maybe, they saw her. Maybe, they’d finally realize that she was not just a little Abnormal, but really, Really Abnormal. Maybe they’d think she was a Monster.

  Suna didn’t know how to ease these worries of hers. Could she just ask them, Directly, and see if they judged her? Suna felt it wasn’t so simple. She felt that such judgements, would not be verbally conveyed. Suna tried. She tried, to stomach her doubts, and worries. She didn’t want her Friends to leave her…

  Of course they will, haha.

  That stupid, irritating, fucking voice. Which spoke so confidently, which didn’t even want to Try to hold onto her Friends. She grew more and more annoyed with it, she was growing fed up with it.

  She tried to stomach all of her feelings. And just, pretend to be a normal person. Maybe, maybe that’ll work out… Suna stopped thinking so hard about it.

  –

  Amadeth came into view.

  Suna, regrettably, never saw Amy the rest of their small journey. Maybe she thinks I’m a Monster…

  Will you get over it, already? You’re so Annoying.

  Shut Up Already! The voice was becoming more and more Persistent.

  Suna concealed her inner struggles, as they, some Merchants, and all the hunters of the caravan made their way to the city’s Hunter’s Building.

  On their way, Suna saw a rge ke. Is it man-made? Is it natural? She was curious if the water was magically created. She was curious why anyone would want to even live in such a dry, hostile environment, anyway. But she kept her questions to herself, her eyes to herself, as she walked between her Friends.

  Suna entered the Building, Nervously. She had a feeling that something might end up happening.

  The rge group filtered out to different counters, offloading materials, checking commissions, etc. Suna’s group found a pce to lounge, as they waited for the Merchants to submit their reports and commissions.

  An arm wave. Suna was being called over. She looked at her friends. They accompanied her.

  Suna wanted to just avoid contact with these people. But she couldn’t.

  “Congratutions,” A receptionist said, to Suna. “You’re Diamond now.” Their hand was outstretched; Suna picked up the social cue and offered her Card to them. When she got it back, it gleamed, like a crystal.

  She looked to her Friends. They looked at her, with Pride, and Joy. But she was Worried.

  She turned back to the Receptionist. “Um, but, I haven’t done anything, though? I haven’t completed any Diamond quests.”

  The Receptionist smiled, finding Suna’s obliviousness very amusing. “Haha, Suna, we’ve received verifiable reports that you subjugated an Ant Brigadier all on your own, in single combat.” They gave a gnce to the Merchants, “There was a Mark out for It already. A Diamond one. And also,” the receptionist expined, “accomplishing certain feats sometimes boosts your rank just on its own. Suna. There’s not a single Ptinum hunter that can defeat that Monster in single combat.” They chuckled, “So, doesn’t make much sense keeping you in Ptinum, right?”

  Suna understood their words. She bowed, and she retreated to her friends. They congratuted her, with open arms.

  But she was Worried.

  The Group exited the Building.

  “...guys…”

  They looked at her.

  “...you’re not… gonna leave me… right?” Suna was tearing up. She shook.

  “Wha, what are you talking about, Suna? It’s normal for groups to have a disparity of ranks in them.” Lilt tried to comfort her, with logic.

  “Suna.” Angie got her attention. “Even if you ranked up to Adamantite,” Angie looked Suna in the eyes. “If you let us… we’d still follow you.” Resolve. “Anywhere.”

  Angie’s seriousness surprised her.

  Suna didn’t really know what to make of the events that had occurred. But, she took soce in her Friend’s comforting words. And Beryl’s… hugs.

  Suna stared, up at the ceiling. She… wanted some time alone. So she elected to get her own room. She wanted to be alone… with her thoughts.

  So… we’re here. In Amadeth. Suna bit her lip.

  …What now?

  A subtle smile.

  …What’s the Point?

  When she ranked up… she felt nothing. Nothing, other than the Fear of being separated from her Friends.

  She wanted to get Stronger… but Why? Why? Why? For What Purpose?

  To be a Star? Suna ughed. At her own, childish, naive thought.

  She looked at herself. She was an aimless, wandering, Child. A purposeless, meandering entity. One that could Not call anywhere its home, no one Its People.

  She felt Alone.

  She Worried.

  She was Nervous.

  She was Confused.

  She was Annoyed. At Herself.

  Her Mind seemed to twist, it never Settled on One Thing. It always seemed to be moving, Her always seemed to be some elusive, ever-shifting Thing.

  What was the point?

  Rouse.

  Suna gasped. She quieted her torrential thoughts, her turbulent Self.

  …

  …

  …Leandra?

  …? Who was that?

  …oh. Suna… right…?

  Suna realized, that her thoughts were detected. She concentrated.

  Um… Ei?

  Ei… call me Eidra.

  Um, okay…

  …

  Um…

  …

  Are you… doing okay?

  …sorry. I’m just… remembering things… I feel like, I’m Dreaming… Am I?

  Umm, no? Uh… you died…

  …Ah. Haha, you’re right. I did, didn’t I?

  Suna had many questions. But… did she even have the right to ask them?

  You’re still as apprehensive as ever, I see, haha.

  …haha…

  You must’ve gone through a lot? Don’t worry. I bear you no resentment. My Death was completely my own doing.

  Huh? But, your Energy, I, if you didn’t save me…

  Haha, Suna, I had enough Energy to flee from those two. But not enough to Defeat Them.

  Suna didn’t allow herself to remember ‘those two’, but she still remembered, vividly, the helpless Terror she felt that day.

  Wait… then why didn’t you leave! Why, why didn’t you save yourself!! Suna was truly dumbfounded.

  Haha, because I ‘felt like it’?

  Suna would Not Accept that answer.

  Hahaha, you’re still young. You’re still naive, you don’t get it.

  What was Suna not getting? What part of sacrificing your life for a Stranger was any bit rational? It was completely nonsensical.

  Suna, you’re not just a ‘Stranger’. You’re a Gem.

  …Huh?

  Yes. You’re not ‘like’ Normal people, Suna, I’m sure you know that by now.

  …Suna was Confused.

  …You see, Suna. Some people, when faced with hardship… they crumble. They Give Up. But other people… they temper themselves. They Grow. And they become More. Not everyone has the same Potential, Suna. And… well, people like me, I suppose… it’s hard for us to watch, as Gems are smothered. Never to see their full potential. I… I Hate that.

  Suna was still Confused.

  No, I’m no Gem, I’m a Monster.

  Hahaha! A Monster? Suna, you are, without a doubt, a Person. Whether you like it or not, haha.

  …No, Eidra. I’m-

  Sorry. I mean, call me Ei. Sorry about before.

  Oh. Uh, Ei, um. Suna gathered her thoughts. I’m not Lying. I’m, there’s something Weird about me, there’s something Off, I’m, I’m not Normal, I’m, I… Suna struggled with their thoughts.

  …Hahahaha. Ei calmly ughed.

  Suna. I don’t know what to tell you. Most people aren’t ‘Normal’. Actually, if there were such a perfectly ‘Normal’ person, I think they’d be quite Scary, hahaha.

  Ei wasn’t getting it. They weren’t understanding Suna’s Fears. Her situation wasn’t just Abnormal, it was downright Terrifying, but it seemed… even Ei didn’t understand.

  I’m not discounting your Fears, Suna. But, Suna, just make sure… that what you’re so Afraid of isn’t Yourself. If it is…

  …Suna waited. Nervously.

  …

  …?

  …wait, Leandra, stop, don’t… go…

  …

  …

  Suna… was irritated. That, was a massive, Enormous Understatement.

  Bam! She hit the soft mattress of the bed. Which accomplished Nothing, of course.

  She shook.

  I’m so, so, Fucking, STUPID!!

  Bam!

  Why, in the absolute fuck, was she wasting her Precious time talking with Ei, talking about, talking about Nothing! She learned nothing new about the World, or about Magic, or about Anything; she was Furious. At herself. At Ei, for fucking falling asleep right before saying something Actually Important.

  …

  Sigh.

  There was nothing she could do now. She couldn’t turn back time. She’d… eventually get to talk to him, again.

  Sigh. She shook her head. And she y down, on the bed. On her back.

  What was she thinking about again? Oh, that’s right… what am I going to do?

  Couldn’t she have just asked that? Wasn’t that a simple, perfect question? She facepalmed, trying to stomach her disappointment in herself, her Regret.

  Sigh. She tried to Sigh away the icky feelings in her stomach.

  …

  Suna Contempted.

  She didn’t feel their conversation was… entirely Pointless.

  She felt like some things were crified.

  She felt, a bit more… Confident. Like her vision of the world was slightly more Accurate, now.

  …But it wasn’t enough. Knowing that she was some stupid, objectified ‘Gem’ or whatever, was Not going to aid her in her battles. Her internal war. Her external struggles.

  …But she didn’t forget. To thank Ei. Ei, who truly… sacrificed his Life, for hers.

  That… was a very rge Debt. Would she ever be able to pay it back? She wondered. She didn’t feel like she could.

  Sigh. Sigh. Suna… tried to fall asleep. She’d worry about Tomorrow, whenever it comes. She had too much on her pte right now.