I took a moment to brush a loose strand of sweaty hair away from my face as I stared at the renovated building, regretting not putting it up. The church’s old roots were still visible in the tall stained glass windows, wide staircase, and smoothed stone facade. I triple-checked my location on my phone, matching it to the card that was left with the flowers nearly two weeks ago, to make sure it matched the address written down.

  Being fifteen minutes early, I had no clue if I should go in, wait outside, or turn around and go home to pretend like this never happened. Though wasting the fare for the subway wasn’t exactly appealing, it wouldn’t be the end of the world seeing how I no longer had to pay rent.

  “Well, you’ve made it this far,” I muttered to myself. “Might as well take a look.”

  I ascended the steps carefully, wiggling my fingers to try to disperse the adrenaline-fueled buzzing feeling. I kept my eyes peeled for any information that might offer reassurance that I was in the right place like a sign or maybe a poster. Even though everything I had looked up about this group checked out didn’t mean I had arrived at the right place. I reached out with a damp hand to grab the handle when I heard footsteps behind me, coming closer.

  Turning, I took in the figure approaching me. He was in some kind of work uniform judging by the name tag still attached to its retractable clip. I would say they were scrubs if the dark khaki material didn’t look thicker and stiffer than what the healthcare professionals I’d encountered usually wore.

  Five steps away, the stranger paused and looked up from his phone, finally noticing me.

  “Oh, hey, didn’t see you there,” he said. He put his phone in a pocket and took two more steps towards the doors I blocked. I released the handle and took the same number of steps backward. “I haven’t seen you here before,” he added, tilting his head slightly. “Is this your first time to the group?”

  I hesitated, unsure what information I should give this stranger.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude,” he apologized. He stuck out his hand towards me. We both noticed the sweat glistening on his palm, and he grinned as he dropped it to his side and shrugged, wiping the hand on his pant leg. “Hope this is the last heatwave this year. Anyways. I’m Alex. You’re here for the LaShoul’s group, right?”

  “Yes,” I answered after another moment’s hesitation. “I’m Callie.” I offered a little wave in lieu of what would be a gross handshake.

  His eyes widened when his gaze snagged on something on my forearm. I looked at my own arm then and noticed the insistent red flashing light, more visible in the fading light than it typically was. The bio-screen. Right. It had been blinking an alert at me since I first started getting ready to leave the apartment to come here. It was the first time a notification had been going on for more than a few minutes and I couldn’t find the off switch. I’d have to ask Leo about it later, even though he’d probably grill me on why it was going off in the first place and then demand to know what had made me so nervous for so long. I didn’t want to give him any other arguments against me being here.

  “Woah, you got one of those?” he asked, taking a half step closer before stopping himself. I dropped my arm, clasped my hands behind my back, and nodded mutely. “One of those screens, right? How’d you manage that?”

  Before I could answer, two more people started up the front steps. Alex must have noticed my gaze, because he turned to look at what grabbed my attention.

  “Hey, John, Melinda,” Alex greeted. “How goes it?”

  “Keeps going,” the man, John, answered. He was dressed in shorts, a polo, and a hat, like he just came from golfing. Which I knew way more about now after that awful dinner with Leo’s coworkers.

  Alex turned toward the dark-skinned woman next. “Your sister coming tonight?”

  “No, couldn’t make it. Though she made me promise to look out for a new person who suspiciously matches your description,” she answered, addressing the last part to me. “Jade said she’d invited someone new. Are you Callie?”

  “Yes,” I answered. “Jade is your sister?”

  Melinda nodded. “She is. A workaholic, that one. Took on a last-minute event tonight at city hall after another florist bailed, said she couldn’t pass up the late-notice fee she could charge on the flowers sitting around that would otherwise be discounted,” she laughed. “Hopefully it’s enough to get her to hire another assistant so she stops working these late nights.”

  I had no idea how to add to the conversation flowing easily around me; I wasn’t great at meeting new people without the buffer of another person I already knew. I didn’t want to seem rude by just going inside without a word. My hesitation on making new friends for the past few years made me rusty, and in many cases I’d actively avoided it. Shit. They probably thought I was socially inept, which wouldn’t be far off honestly, but it wasn’t the impression I wanted to make. I wanted these people to like me; if they were here, then we all had a mutual understanding.

  Melinda noticed my frozen expression, and offered a reassuring smile and a wink as Alex and John continued to chat.

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  Alex wiped sweat out of his eyes and suggested, “Let’s get inside before we sweat to death.” He opened the door behind us and ushered us in with a grand swoop of his arm.

  Thankfully, the AC was on full blast and I immediately shivered as I stepped away to make room for the others. They filed in, muttering their thankfulness for the cool air. John and Melinda started walking down one of the hallways, and Alex stepped next to me.

  “Care to be shown around, Callie?”

  I took a slow, deep breath, and put on my brave face. Life was too short not to take chances every now and then. It wasn’t as though I didn’t want to make new friends; my own fear and past experiences had been holding me back. Did I want my anxiety over the past to dictate how I would live the rest of my life?

  Damn. Leo’s words about making friends had gotten to me.

  “Why not?” I answered, smiling at him.

  He beamed back at me, so I hadn’t fucked anything up yet.

  “So, this used to be the main entrance of the church,” he began immediately, gesturing around us. Over half of the lights were out, leaving only a few to light the way. Old red candlesticks waited on either side of each set of double doors. We took the doors to the far right, the ceiling suddenly dropping lower. “The pews would be past each set of doors, all in the same room, with an alter at the far end and a couple rooms past that. For a while this place used to be a reception hall for weddings, but apparently the owners had forged their liquor license and it got shut down. A lot of these spaces had been made into event venues, and the market wasn’t good enough anymore to really make money off it. Another company came in and created all these individual office spaces after creating a second floor—these ceilings used to be high—and leased them out. Though they saved a couple of the…well, let’s say less appealing rooms for groups like ours. Tax write-off that way for a room they probably wouldn’t be able to rent out. But hey, it’s a win-win in my book.”

  Alex’s easygoing chatter put me at ease. I felt myself relax slightly and tried to subtly check my bio-screen, hoping to turn off the damning blinking light. All I managed to do was flag the “event” on the screen, which Leo had showed me how to do. I held in a frustrated groan and glanced to the gray ceiling, searching for patience. Later, I would ask how to label the flag I just created, since I couldn’t get even that far.

  What even was the point in me having this thing if I couldn’t fucking figure out the most basic controls? Leo showing me how his worked didn’t help me figure out how mine did, even though objectively they were exactly the same. It was not a skill I possessed, apparently, and that frustrated me just as much as the lit beacon on my arm.

  While I didn’t think this recording of my anxiety would help me at all with what was actually killing me, I was hoping I could at least rule it out as a trigger. That was the only reason why I wanted to mark it, so that if I had an episode later tonight the bio-screen could put two and two together to help me manage my LaShoul’s. Or, if I didn’t have an episode, I could at least rule it out. Either way would be progress.

  But the light persisted, flashing softly every five seconds. I wanted to gouge the thing out of my arm.

  Alex noticed my distraction, stopping and glancing down at my slightly-glowing arm. It wasn’t giving off much light, more like the faded glow-in-the-dark stars I used to have on my ceiling when I was a kid, but it was clearly visible when anyone looked directly at it.

  I gestured helplessly to the thing. “I can’t seem to find the damn off switch for the light.”

  “Mind if I have a go at it?” He looked eager to try, like it was an exciting new toy.

  “Only if you promise to show me how to do it if you can figure it out.”

  He grinned, gently taking my arm. “Deal.”

  Approximately twenty seconds later, Alex had the red alert turned off, the device in “Emergency Only” mode until I left this location, and added them both to a list of favorite commands that I could easily access again any time I wanted. We began meandering back down the endlessly long hallway.

  “What the fuck,” I mumbled. My shoulders slumped.

  “Don’t beat yourself up about it. I work in a science lab, with some similar tech. Figuring this kind of shit out is literally my job.” He gave my shoulder a gentle nudge. “But hey, if you ever need help with that thing again, please let me. That thing is fucking awesome.”

  A little chuckle escaped, and I asked, “But how will I let you know I need help?”

  He stopped in his tracks and pulled out his phone. Silently, he offered it to me. I took his phone and a deep breath—here goes nothing—and brought my phone to his, lining them up to share our contact information with each other. After they both vibrated, I handed his back.

  “There. Now you can.”

  I nodded and gave him a shy grin as he started walking again.

  We reached the end of the hallway and climbed the awkward three steps up to reach the door. It swung in easily at Alex’s touch, light and sound pouring out into the dim hallway.

  A couple of people in a corner chorused an enthusiastic, “Alex!” and he left my side to greet his friends.

  There were over twenty people in the room, all congregating in small groups, spread out in the surprisingly large space. A circle of chairs was placed in the middle, and a table off to one side was filled with various bottled drinks, a coffee dispenser standing next to it. Had I known I could get a simple iced coffee here or even a latte if I wanted extra caffeine, I wouldn’t have settled for a soda earlier. I didn’t like the bubbles, but it was a convenient, not to mention cheaper, on-the-go caffeine boost I always kept on hand.

  I hovered near the refreshments, taking the rest of the room in while trying not to think about how awkward I probably looked standing here by myself. Exposed pipes and even some ductwork climbed up the back wall. They were painted black in an attempt to blend in but were still impossible to miss. Some jutted out of the ground at irregular intervals, clearly added on after the original building was constructed. It would be nearly impossible to hide them with a wall and still retain a good-sized space.

  Melinda appeared at my side, grabbing my hand in both of hers and giving it a quick squeeze. “We’ve all been the new person here at one point. It can be a little intimidating. But you don’t need to be nervous. We’re all the same, here.”

  I let out a heavy breath. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Not at all; I just happen to be really good at reading people. Now, come with me; I want to introduce you to some of my friends. I promise they don’t bite. You’re more at risk of John talking your ear off,” she teased with an eye roll, gently tugging me along towards a group of people standing just inside the door.

  “Hi,” I said as I approached.

  “Everyone, this is Callie,” Melinda introduced me. “Jade found this one.”

  “Lovely to meet you,” another woman, who looked to be in her early forties, greeted. “I’m Loren, and I lead the group. We’re just about to get started. You ready?”

  I shrugged and said, “We’ll find out.”