CHRISTINA.

  The sun comes out from behind a cloud. I sit in the campus courtyard and sketch asymmetrical blouses. I was hired for a part-time job. I send them my sketches and receive a small payment for it. I’m saving the money for a wedding gift for Jack and Ae. I haven’t decided what to give them yet. It’s good that I have a few more months. It’s June outside, but it’s cool. Of course, this is not always the case, but today it is especially noticeable. I’m wearing a stretch dress the color of coffee with milk, a light jacket thrown over top and white sneakers. Hair in a ponytail and a cap on backwards.

  “Good job,” someone remarks, leaning over me.

  This is Glenn. Today he is not as gloomy as usual.

  “Shall I sit down?” He asks, and without waiting for an answer, he sits down opposite me. This is his habit tely. To watch me continuously, this has been going on since October. He tries to go with me everywhere when time allows. I can’t say I like it, but his sister Kenzie looked at us and said she was leaving him in my care and began spending less time with her brother and more time with her new friend. I guess they are more than just friends, because one day I noticed this couple among the trees, and they quickly kissed. Whether it was a joke or not, I didn’t consider it. It’s not my business.

  Glenn annoys me with his silence and the constant gaze that I feel on me, but I feel terribly sorry for this lonely guy. However, I prefer to ignore his strange behavior. He always looks like a shadow. Sometimes we communicate, but he always tries to move on to discussing me, wanting me to tell him something about my life. But I don’t think he needs to know that much about me.

  “How is John doing?” I ask myself. A few days ago someone called me. He breathed heavily into the phone, but didn’t say a word. “Who could it be?”

  I finish a new collection of sketches and decide to call my dad.

  “Jack, hi. How are you?”

  “Hello, Chris. I’m a bit busy. Everything is as usual with us. And you?”

  “I’m doing great. The exams are just around the corner, I’m getting ready. I decided to take a break and call you.”

  “My good girl,” comes an approving excmation from the receiver.

  “Listen, Jack, is everything okay with John?”

  “Why are you asking?” His voice noticeably tensed.

  “I was curious. No other reason for it.”

  “No, everything is great. He is OK. Bye, honey.”

  He switches off.

  “Somehow it doesn’t look like Jack... It’s strange.” I think and continue working. But the feeling of anxiety does not leave me.

  “Stop looking at me! “I tell Glenn irritably. Suddenly he answers:

  “If I want to watch, I will watch. And you can’t stop me from doing this.”

  “Then I’ll go, sorry,” I say.

  “I’m going with you,” he also gets up.

  “Glenn, I want to be alone.”

  “And I want to be with you,” he retorts.

  “I understand, but I may have matters with my family that don’t concern you. We can figure it out ourselves. You may not understand. You have no one except your grandfather, and you don’t communicate very often. But I have a dad, his future wife and a brother, and we communicate regurly.”

  “Or maybe I also want to be part of this family?!”

  “What did you say?!” I feel really angry.

  “Look, Glenn, don’t bother me…”

  “What if not? What will you do to me? Are you going to compin to daddy?!” He roughly grabs my hand, “come with me.”

  “It hurts, but it’s okay, now I’ll deal with him,” I think.

  “Wait!” I’m a little reluctant, “Let me at least take the sketches…”

  Glenn stops, then goes back, throws the sketches into his backpack, without letting go of my hand, and drags me further.

  “Hey!” I call out to him.

  “Shut up and just walk,” his face became gloomy and impenetrable again.

  “What the hell is happening to him?” I ask myself.

  We leave campus and go to the bus stop. I try to get some kind of answer, but he is silent. Finally, he mutters through clenched teeth:

  “Either you remain silent and don’t resist, or now I’ll hit you. And it doesn’t bother me that there are people nearby.”

  Then we drive in silence. Finally, we get off the bus and go to one of the houses on the next street. Glenn opens the door and goes up to the third floor, opens some apartment and pushes me forward and goes in himself. Then he calmly closes the door and puts the key in his pocket.

  “And how do you want me to understand this?!” I ask angrily.

  “Go into the bedroom,” he says, “and I’ll be in the kitchen. When you need me, I’ll call you. But give me your phone. You can turn it off, I don’t need it. I just don’t want you to call anyone. There are some books there. You love to read.”

  “What is wrong with you?” I say irritably.

  “Don’t look like I’m so thin, it doesn’t mean I’m weak. You’re already convinced of this, right? Now be a good girl and do as I say...” he continues just as calmly.

  “What an idiot! There are devils in still waters. It’s not for nothing that they say so,” I tell myself.

  Nevertheless, I go to this strange room. There really are a few books on the shelf. I take off my sneakers and nd on my back on the bed. There’s no point in raging. Looks like this guy is not so simple. Well, then I’ll just lie here for a while and think about myself and John. I close my eyes. After a while, I still begin to fall asleep, but I quickly wake up because I feel that someone is touching my face. I quickly realize who is in front of me and jump up.

  “Calm down. Put on your sneakers and go to the kitchen.”

  There is a bottle of wine and snacks in the kitchen.

  “Will you have a drink with me?” Glenn asks, not taking his eyes off me.

  “Of course,” I say.

  “Ha, well, let’s see how tough a nut you are,” I think to myself.

  He opens the bottle and pours wine into my gss. He also pours himself a drink, but less.

  “Stop, stop, stop. This won’t do,” I tell him, “if you want us to drink together, pour the same amount, or do you want to say that a woman is worse than a man?”

  “Of course not,” he says and tops up his own to the same level.

  He raises his gss:

  “Cheers!”

  “Yes.”

  The gsses clink slightly. I drink my gss as slowly as possible. He pours a second one, but doesn’t seem to want to drink it.

  “Yours is not empty yet.”

  “That’s right,” I answer, “I’m just trying to feel this taste.”

  He looks at me suspiciously, but I look so natural that he decides to start his own gss.

  “Well, since we drank for my health, now it’s worth drinking to you?”

  We’re drinking again. I get up and approach him. He looks at me questioningly. I sit on his p:

  “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Oh…” He seems unable to speak from surprise.

  “More wine?” I ask.

  I add a little to him, and to myself too, for show. He nods approvingly, then hugs me closer.

  “You probably don’t know, but I love you and want you to be near…”

  “Why wasn’t I surprised?” I said myself.

  “But you could have just told me straight?” I ask him.

  “You wouldn’t come with me. And also…”

  He finishes his gss. I’d rather top it up for him. He gets up, and I have to get up too, takes the wine in one hand, the other holds my waist.

  “Come on, baby, we need to celebrate.”

  “What do we pn to celebrate?”

  Glenn is already drunk. He sways into the bedroom and leads me with him.

  “Of course it’s my birthday!”

  Then he closes the bedroom door. The gss is about to fall out of his hands. I pick it up and put it on the nightstand. He falls onto the bed and pulls me with him. I find myself on top.

  “Baby, can you feel it?” He puts my hand on his stomach under his sweatshirt.

  “Now you’ve become bolder... It’s okay, Christina, be patient, it won’t be long.”

  “Oh yes, dear, have some more wine.” I’m convincing him.

  He finishes his gss in one gulp and tries to hug me. I don’t resist, but with my free hand I grab his ass. He squeals a little in surprise, just like a girl, but then he starts looking at me strangely.

  “Baby,” he says drawlingly, “I want you…”

  And he rolls. I find myself at the bottom. Wine has a serious effect on him. I still hold his ass with both hands and feel for the treasured key. At this time he kisses my neck. This doesn’t give me any pleasant feelings, but I’m holding on.

  “Mmm,” I hum right in his ear, he gets even more excited. I carefully pull out the key and quietly drop it on the carpet. Now I need to lull Glenn’s vigince. I pull off his hoodie. Underneath is a tight T-shirt.

  “So, after all, he has things of his size,” I note. He is obscenely thin. I am again pierced by a feeling of pity for this man.

  “I’ll think about it ter.”

  “Would you like some more wine?” I ask.

  “Will you kiss me?”

  “What an impudence...” I whisper.

  “You will not regret,” he adds.

  “In this case I am waiting.”

  His gaze is clouded, he seems to be looking at me, but as if through me. I take the bottle and bring it.

  “Take off your clothes, I want to take a better look at you,” he says.

  “Well, let’s hope he passes out quickly, Christie,” I tell myself sadly.

  I start to take off my cardigan very slowly. He pulls me towards him and it seems that something terrible is about to happen. I close my eyes. A miracle still happens.

  “I think I want to go to the toilet. Wait a little. I hope that when I return you will be waiting for me without a dress.”

  Glenn is very unsteady. Somehow he makes it to the toilet. And as soon as the door closes, I quickly pull on my sneakers and cardigan, pick up the key from the carpet and tiptoe into the hallway.

  “My love, I’ll come now!” His voice comes from behind the door.

  I take it and look around, but his backpack is gone. I open the door. Luckily the lock is quiet. I found his backpack in the kitchen. Do I have enough time? I should make my way past the toilet and bathroom faster. I open my backpack, take my sketches and get ready to run. But then the door opens.

  “Baby, I’m already on my way to you.” He’s only wearing underpants. He wanders, swaying into the kitchen.

  “Well... Where can I hide?” I think feverishly

  I found some space behind the refrigerator. I squeeze through there and freeze. He goes straight to the refrigerator and opens it. I try not to breathe. Luckily for me, the door opens in such a way that it blocks me from his viewing angle. My phone remains. I almost forgot about it. But where is it? Okay, no time to look. After drinking water, Glenn walks from the kitchen to the bedroom, muttering something inaudible, but not very decent. I’m going after him. On the way out of the kitchen, I rather hide around the corner because he turns away. I see that the phone is in the hallway.

  “Looks like I’m really lucky today!”

  He walks into the bedroom and I immediately slip out the door, grabbing my phone. I hear a dissatisfied cry coming from the bedroom. No time to wait for the elevator. I’m running up the stairs as quickly as possible. But between the second and first floors my leg gives way and I fall down 2 steps. I’m trying not to scream, getting up with difficulty, collecting the scattered sketches, and, limping, running on. I run out of the entrance, go around the house and only then do I calm down. Swearing can be heard from the window, but it quickly fades away.

  “It seems he fell asleep.”

  I walk further, but my leg hurts more and more. I stop, gritting my teeth. I don’t have money for bus travel, and I don’t have a student card either. Everything was left in the dormitory. I call Kenzie, but she doesn’t answer. Now may not be the right time, but I’m coming back to the idea that John should be okay. It’s enough for me to hear his voice and I’ll find the strength to do a lot of things, starting with walking a couple of bus stops. But I know that this is impossible, he is probably at work. I’m calling Jack. At least let him listen to me. Sometimes it’s okay to compin. The beeps go off, but no one answers. I despair, but then I hear HIS voice.

  “Hello…”

  Sounds a little weak.

  “Well, hello... brother...” I tell him.

  There is silence on the line.

  “Hello? Can you hear me? I know what you hear. Are you all right?”

  “Why should it be bad?” His voice takes on cold notes again.

  “And why am I doing this? I just have to finish quickly. Why did he answer? It was just my fleeting wish. And it seems that now it has come true,” I’m reasoning.

  “I just wanted to make sure.”

  “Make sure of what?!” He interrupts me.

  “Nothing, sorry.”

  I hung up. I guess it just seemed to me. It wasn’t him who called that day. I’m making it up in my head again. “I’ll think about it ter...”

  I’m running towards the dormitory. Unfortunately, that idiot Glenn wouldn’t let me take anything with me. The sketches are a little disheveled. I’ll get them in order anyway. I just need to return home.