The first Vegetaloid waddled toward me, its leafy arms raised like it was about to sp me with a sad. Cute. But I was not about to get punked by a radish.
I took a deep breath, stepped forward with a flourish, and swung my training sword down in a clean arc.
(-23 physical attacks)
Health Points: 29/52 [55.76%]
A shimmering swallowtail butterfly burst from the point of impact, gliding like it had its own theme music. It circled once, then dove in with a sparkle-trail ssh across the Vegetaloid’s face.
(-5 physical attacks)
Health Points: 24/52 [46.15%]
The poor vegetable wobbled from the blow, let out a confused little “hmmMMM?” and then exploded in a puff of sparkles and sad bits.
[+20 EXP]
[+10 Weapon EXP]
Two glowing gems cttered to the ground where it once stood, small, crystalline, and humming with faint magical energy, or at least the magical energy of gacha.
“Luminous gems!” I gasped, immediately diving down to scoop them up. “Come to me, precious shiny currency!”
“Focus, Mashiro!” Lyra called, loosing an arrow that skewered a carrot with googly eyes right through the middle.
The carrot exploded into glitter and compost. I made a mental note not to eat sad for at least a week.
Another Vegetaloid rushed me, this one looked like a daikon radish with a dramatic hair curl. I sidestepped its attempt at a headbutt and delivered a quick horizontal ssh.
(-23 physical attack)
Health Points: 29/52 [55.76%]
The butterfly appeared again, bless its sparkly vengeance and gave it a glittery ssh across its backside.
(-5 physical attacks)
Health Points: 24/52 [46.15%]
It wobbled, turned around in confusion, and then I finished it off with a spinning slice.
(-23 physical attack)
Health Points: 1/52 [1.92%]
The butterfly gave it a pity tap.
(-5 physical attacks)
[+20 EXP]
Two more luminous gems popped out, which I immediately scooped into my pouch like a raccoon discovering shiny garbage.
“That’s four gems!” I said proudly, even as another leafy menace bounced toward me.
“Less counting, more cutting!” Lyra shouted as she roundhouse-kicked a tomato into the air and nailed it midair with an arrow.
I nodded, heart racing, sword ready. The battlefield was chaotic. Vegetable songs. Butterflies. EXP notifications. Gem glitter. I felt like I’d wandered into a turn-based farming sim on fire.
And I was loving it.
A second wave of Vegetaloids rose from the ground like someone had shaken a cursed vegetable garden. This time they looked a little more determined, angrier, even. One particurly chunky beet had what looked suspiciously like war paint on its face. I swear I heard it growl.
I readied my sword, feeling the familiar tingle of excitement shoot up my spine. “Okay, veggie squad. Round two. Let’s dance.”
The nearest target, a squash with stubby legs and eyes too far apart charged in like it thought it was in a gdiator movie.
I lunged forward and sshed with confidence.
(-23 physical attack)
Health Points: 29/52 [55.76%]
The swallowtail butterfly swooped in right on cue, its wings glinting with ethereal light as it flicked the squash squarely on the forehead.
(-5 physical attacks)
Health Points: 24/52 [46.15%]
It looked stunned. I sshed it with a downward arc, and then it exploded in a satisfying pop of light and vegetable juice.
[+20 EXP]
Two more luminous gems dropped with a jingle, and I immediately dove down like a goblin on payday.
“That’s four… no, wait—six!” I cheered, scooping them into my inventory. “At this rate I’ll be rich in sparkly sad rocks!”
Lyra, still fighting with perfect form and terrifying precision, let her next arrow fly like she was born with a bow in her hands. It whistled through the air and hit its mark, a dancing turnip that had been mid-pirouette on top of a cracked tombstone. The impact was so strong, the poor veggie practically embedded itself in the stone.
(-50 Critical damage)
Health Points: 2/52 [4%]
It gave one final wobble, clearly regretting its life choices.
Without hesitation, Lyra calmly notched another arrow and loosed it in a blink. It struck the turnip dead center, and with a soft plop, the little thing vanished into sparkly vegetable ether.
I groaned loudly from across the graveyard, dragging my sword behind me with dramatic fir. “Lyraaaa! You’re not even trying to let me collect the gems!”
She turned mid-reload, blinking in confusion. “What?”
“If I kill them,” I expined, pointing my sword like a lecturer, “they drop luminous gems. That’s two per veggie! If I get a hundred, I can do a gacha pull! Do you know how hard it is to save up a hundred of anything in this economy?!”
Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Gacha… pull?”
“Yes!” I shouted, practically vibrating with frustration and excitement. “I’m trying to summon limited edition spirit weapons or outfits or I don’t know, maybe a cool elf that doesn’t judge me like you do!”
She blinked. “What the hell are those?!”
“Hope, Lyra. They’re made of hope. And I can’t farm hope if you keep murdering the drop rate!”
Another Vegetaloid tried to sneak up behind me, a sprouting cucumber dual-wielding leek sabers. I spun and sliced it in a wide arc.
(-23 physical attack)
Health Points: 29/52 [55.76%]
My butterfly companion appeared from the ether like a sparkly sniper and delivered its dainty vengeance. I followed up with another strike, clean and swift.
(-28 physical attack)
Health Points: 1/52 [1.92%]
The butterfly blinked in, gave it a single, gentle tap like it was closing a book.
[+20 EXP]
Clink. Clink.
Two luminous gems dropped onto the graveyard floor, sparkling faintly in the moonlight. I scooped them up and clutched them close to my chest like precious baby birds.
“See?! This is what I’m talking about!” I called out proudly. “Two more down, only 992 to go before I can hit that ten-pull! Come on, RNG gods, don’t fail me now!”
Lyra sighed as another wave started to rise behind her. “I’m surrounded by monsters. And I don’t just mean them.”
“Laugh all you want, but when I summon a five-star ultra-rare catgirl in battle armor, you’ll be the one asking for help.”
“Are you... even from this world?” she muttered.
“Nope!” I said proudly. “But I’m thriving in it!”
She groaned, “You even tried to name one ‘Parsley’ five minutes ago.”
“His vibes were different!”
Before I could justify my questionable attachments to root-based lifeforms, another enemy, this one a red onion with a tiny cape leapt at me with shocking speed. I yelped and ducked under it, spinning on my heel to catch it in the back with my sword.
(-23 physical attack)
Health Points: 29/52 [55.76%]
The butterfly appeared again, smug and sparkly, and booped it midair.
(-5 physical attacks)
Health Points: 24/52 [46.15%]
It nded, dazed, before I lunged again with a decisive uppercut.
(-20 physical attacks)
Health Points: 4/52 [7.69%]
The butterfly gave it the final poke with gentle malice.
(-5 physical attacks)
[+20 EXP]
Another pair of luminous gems bounced to the ground, and I scooped them up so fast I probably looked like a vacuum cleaner with a gem addiction.
“That’s… ten! I’m glowing in more ways than one!”
“Focus!” Lyra shouted as another group popped out of the soil like cursed popcorn. “They're not stopping yet!”
I twirled my sword dramatically, my cloak catching the wind like I was in a music video. “Let them come,” I said. “I still have butterfly backup and emotional baggage to burn!”
The ground shook. Just a little tremble at first, like someone dropped a really fat pumpkin off a rooftop. Then again. Stronger. The remaining minor Vegetaloids scattered like frightened sad, vanishing into the dirt with tiny “plop” sounds.
I blinked and straightened up, clutching my sword. “Uh… Lyra? Why does the graveyard feel like it’s buffering a boss fight?”
She didn’t answer. Her eyes were locked on the far end of the cemetery, where the earth was now bulging like something underneath was trying to break free. The tombstones nearby tilted, then cracked, as soil and roots exploded upward in a dramatic BOOM.
Something emerged from the ground. No, rose. Towering at least ten feet tall, casting a massive shadow across the moonlit graves.
“WHAT IS THAT?!” I shouted, already half-hiding behind Lyra.
[VEGETALORD (Lv. 8)]
Health Points: 400/400
Defense: 10
Attack: 15
Category: Leader Monster
Description: King of the Graveyard Veggies. Wears a crown made of broccoli. Has never known mercy.
The creature loomed over us, an enormous mutated carrot with six arms, each holding a different farming tool. Its leafy beard swayed dramatically in the wind. A golden crown of broccoli perched on its rooty head like it had something to prove.
Lyra whispered, “...It’s beautiful. In the worst way.”
I pointed at its status panel in panic. “It has 15 attack! That’s, like, three times what I can emotionally handle!”
The Vegetalord let out a horrifying deep gurgle. “WHO DARES HARVEST MY CHILDREN?!”
“Um,” I said, raising my hand slightly. “Technically speaking, they attacked us first. And also hummed while doing it. So really this is just self-defense. With a side of looting.”
Its eyes (potato-shaped) glowed red.
It stomped forward, and I immediately charged with my sword. “Okay butterfly buddy, let’s earn our rent!”
