Henry crept stealthily behind a boulder as the two rich idiots insisted on talking instead of fighting each other. The woman was enjoying this immensely; he could see it by how she fluttered her eyes and did not try to break anything apart. Props to her, get that money. Henry didn't know how much agency women got in this world, but assuming it was a Xianxia world, it was probably not a lot.

  Henry knew these two jagoffs were disciples judging by their minimal ki and arrogant attitudes. He couldn't have them point him out in the sect and cause him trouble. Henry looked around for something to hide his face with. There was no trash in this world, and people didn't litter. The best that Henry could do was some vines and leaves that they fashioned together to make a sort of nature veil. Fuck it, Henry was going to do it live.

  ****

  Guan Fi is not having fun; these young masters of the Tai and Wang clan were supposed to be fighting for her hand.

  She was not the prettiest of her sisters, but she used that to her advantage. Her four older sisters were peerless jade beauties; they could drive men to crazed fury with a soft laugh and a flutter of their fans. Guan had to work a lot harder. She knew that most men saw her as the consolation prize with her hawkish nose and sharp wit. Guan did not mind that. The more they underestimated her, the easier it was for her to twist them to her intrigue.

  She had chosen them because she knew their little scrape wouldn't start an all-out clan war, just deepen hostilities.

  She had chosen Yung Tai because she had heard he was a frequent customer of Madam Ka Mai's House of Flowers. Honestly, who had ever heard of a fat cultivator? He had fallen for her hook, line, and sinker. Like a man in the desert, any droplet of affection she threw his way, he responded kindly with gifts of cultivation materials. It was as if he had a thirst for her.

  Dei Wang was a trickier sort to wrangle into her schemes. She knew that he had no interest in her and, as a fourth son, could still have quite a pick of women. She had to attack him from a different angle. She had spread rumors that Yung Tai was slandering the Wang clan to her, and she, in turn, had to tell her sisters about the Wang clan's inadequacies. Her second sister Fei was currently in courtship with Dei Wang's older brother.

  Dei Wang had to defend his family's honor.

  Guan Li was not naturally malicious, and it was not her idea to do this. It was one of Mother's tests. The Li clan was widely known for its female cultivators; they were also known quietly as master politicians. Mother wanted to see if she had what it took to manipulate the different clans, to see if the runt of the litter could measure up to her siblings.

  Mother had allowed Guan free reign on her methods, so she had decided that a lovers' quarrel would be the most understandable for prying eyes.

  Clan politics were still a little above Guan's grasp, but she knew Mother had expected this would be an easy first task for her. Something to wet her whistle and get her feet in the game. Two love-struck young masters fighting over a young maiden's hand, which was a very believable cover.

  The problem was that these two assholes kept talking about fighting instead of fighting. They swung their sword a handful of times before monologuing at each other for the last thirty minutes. She was starting to think these two had no intention of fighting. They paused in weird places, waiting for her to jump in and say stop or something.

  "Please, brother Dei and brother Yung, sheath your swords; this one is not worth your…."

  Guan Li did not get to finish her sentence because that was when Henry decided to jump out of hiding, wearing nothing but a leaf veil.

  ****

  The mask itched like crazy, and Henry had to fight the urge to mess with it. He couldn't wait anymore, and these two idiots seemed like they would just stand here all night. No plan survived the first encounter; luckily, Henry didn't have one as he jumped into the air and landed softly between the two cultivators. Three sets of eyes landed on him, and three jaws hit the floor.

  This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

  "I'm breathtaking, I know," Henry said, flexing a little.

  The fat one spoke up first.

  "Who in the hell are you, and how dare you interrupt this noble clash of arms," Yung Tai lowered his sword to gape at this crazy naked bastard.

  "I ask the questions," Henry said indignantly.

  "Drop the swords and your robes, mam; you can stay clothed."

  "I will be doing nothing of the sort; this young lord wants to plunge his sword into you, scoundrel," Dei Wang said, readying his blade.

  Guan Li just stood there, too shocked to say anything.

  "You guys are so cliche, it's crazy. Just come at me, bro," Henry said, adopting a fighting stance. "I don't have time to mess around with you two idiots."

  "What did you say, filthy mongrel? This young lord will oooff."

  Henry had closed the distance and punched Dei Wang clean in the solar plexus, sending him flying back into the dirt unconscious.

  Yung Tai was not a good fighter, but he still had training from a noble clan. He lunged at Henry when he had his back to him.

  Henry could hear Yung Tai's footsteps and assumed a sneak attack. He was not disappointed. The blade came quickly at him, the fatso had training that much was sure. Henry turned parallel and let it slip by.

  He let his ki circulate to his legs to close the distance, that sword would be an issue if he stand at range.

  "I don't know who you are, but to send Dei Wang sprawling, you must have some skills. Let this young master trade some pointers with you."

  Yung Tai raised his blade back with one arm and, with the other, pointed two fingers at Henry.

  "Prepare yourself for the Star Field Sword of the Tai clan; perhaps in your next life, you will be able to know when not to anger your betters."

  Henry was on him as Yung Tai was mid-monologue.

  "Only idiots announce their moves," Henry whispered.

  Henry twisted his hips and threw a nasty left hook into Yung Tai's liver. This made the cultivator double over in pain.

  In a well-practiced motion, Henry shifted his whole body so his right hand was underneath Yung Tai's head. The uppercut came like a missile right on the button, and Yung Tai went out like a light.

  Henry had adjusted his ki to a trickle as he threw his punches, he wanted to incapacitate not to kill. These two were idiots, not villains. Henry started to take the clothes off the two cultivators as fast as he could, emptying their pockets and taking their weapons.

  "Do you need a hand with that?" said a soft feminine voice.

  Henry jumped up and assumed a fighting stance.

  "Oh, stop. You got what you wanted, and I got what I wanted, so drop the fist."

  Guan Li stood there, hands on her hips and head cocked to the side.

  "These two were just gonna keep talking all night, so really, I owe you a favor," Guan Li said as she helped Henry take the clothes off the cultivators.

  "You aren't gonna rat me out, are you, or try to get me wrapped up in some crazy scheme?" Henry asked as he tucked all the loot under one arm.

  "Nah, what's the point? I'll tell them each separately that the other one hired an assassin, and my task will be done. Besides, who's gonna believe me when I try to tell them some wild naked man beat two cultivators barehanded?"

  "I mean, when you put it like that, thanks," Henry said as he left.

  "Wait, you dropped this," Guan said as she handed him his leaf veil.

  "Ahh shit, umm, can you, like, maybe, not remember my face, please," Henry said suddenly bashfully.

  "Sure of course, do me a favor though and knock me out before you go and please do try not to kill me when you do it. I noticed your ki control is a little shaky."

  "Why would I do that?" Henry asked, confused.

  "Come on, you can't possibly be that dense. How would it look if I was the only one unscathed?"

  "You little schemer," Henry said, chuckling to himself.

  Guan Li shrugged her shoulders and said, "A girl's gotta do what she can with the cards she is dealt."

  "Any preference on how I do it?"

  "Painlessly if possible, if not something quick that won't leave a scar," Guan Li said, squaring her shoulder and readying herself.

  This chick had guts, Henry thought, and now that he was closer, the hawk nose fit her face a lot better than he initially thought. She was pretty curvy, too, for a cultivator. She was not slim and dainty like that jade beauty before, but she was filled out more in all the right places.

  Guan Li covered her mouth and laughed.

  Henry thought she looked pretty when she laughed.

  "What's so funny?"

  Guan Li pointed down to his little Henry. It was giving her a five-flag salute. Henry blushed hard as he hit square on her chin.

  Henry ran back to his hut as fast as he could with a raging boner.

  Help a Bro Out!