LesbeanAda

  Ada

  The orb in the sky is back, its lightning thundering across the skies, shaking the very grouh me, the world shifts again, ges as I lose sciousness.

  My sciousness returns not long after. The orb is now different, tendrils stretg out from it, anch to the ground in the distance, one reag down into the vilge. I see the orb pulsing as I fade out again.

  Heat. There’s so much heat. My entire body burns with heat, heat caused by an incessant buzz of magic suffusing all of me. I try to breathe, and I drown, a liquid casg down my throat into my lungs. Yet I do not suffocate, I only burn more. Opening my eyes, I see only bess, perfect darkness. I feel my body ging in agonizing pain, my bones breaking and being reformed, my flesh squirming like a million is. I try to fade away again, but it is slow, so agonizingly long before I finally do, I feel my skin burn away in acid as I do.

  I see again when I open my eyes. The sun is high in the sky, and I feel a hand on my cheek, an indisible whisper apa. My wife is soothing my pain. She’s done so many times, I love her, the only person I’ve ever loved in my own little way. Regret joins her voice soon though, I try to move, grab onto her, but my has aears stream down my face as the darkakes me again, though this time, I know I will be safe.

  “Ada! Wake up Ada!” Someone is shaking my body. Calling my he voice is all wrong though. It’s not Anya, it’s someone else. I sh out with a tail at the person daring to intrude on us. Tail? Why do I have a tail?

  I freeze as memories rush bae, of waking up beh my wife’s grave. Of Mia finding me. Of going to sleep. Breathing bees harder and faster as I try to get enough air into my body. I remember the dream, the pain, the burning.

  A hand touches my back, gently rubbing up and down. “Breath slower, you’re fine, you’re safe. I’ll keep you safe.” Mia. The other person is Mia, I trust her, I think, so I follow what she says, she hasn’t failed me yet. I slow my breathing at her request, the panic slowly subsiding.

  I try to speak, but the words refuse to e out, instead I lean into her, my tail slowly pulling her closer. “It’s fine, little one, you’re fine. You had a nightmare, you’re safe now.”

  Shaking my head I want to say no, but instead I just push into her more, seeking the tact, seeking the safety of another person. My mind does not have the capacity to do more, the nightmare. No, the memories, still fresh on my mind.

  Mia takes the hint and ys down beside me, ing an arm around me and stroking a finger ay scalp, the sensation helps soothe me, calming my rag heart.

  She holds me for a long while, I do not know how long, I do not know when she mao shake me awake, we only start stirring when the first light of the entments outside seeps into the room. Mia is kind enough to wait for me to move first, she stayed awake the eime, holding and soothing me.

  “How are you feeling, little one?” Her voice is low ale, filled with for my well being. Her arms are still ed around me, just like my tail is around her body. I take a few moments before answering.

  “Fine, I think.” My voice has a slight crack to it. I am decidedly not fine, but I don’t want to burden Mia with it. Everything is so… different. It’s weird how I didn’t see it before now. My entire body has ged into something so removed from humanity, that people see me as some kind of animal. And somehow, I don’t actually mind, I like it even. Even with all the ges I went through before, this is different, on a level that I couldn’t even have dreamed of. And the ges, apparently, aren’t even do.

  “You’re not fine, you talk to me.” Mia’s voice is so soothing, so kind. Does she actually care for me? Why? We’ve only just met. I shift slightly to be able to look at her, elig a small smile from her. “I know it’s hard. I have plenty of nightmares, from the genesis… and other things.” She barely whispers the st few words.

  I gather my thoughts before speaking, I have to know how much of this is… normal. “I was back there. The orb in the sky. It… ged, it reached out to the ground like some kind anism.” The nightmare was clearly a memory that I repressed, and as I speak, other small details start to fill in. “Then I was in a… co I think? It was dark and I was suspended in some kind of liquid. The magic was there, it tried talking to me I think, but it couldn’t. I felt my body break and dissolve.” Tears start streaming down my fad Mia pulls me into her, burying my fato her front.

  “Oh dear, that’s horrifying. But you’re alright now, you survived.” I shake my head at her words. She holds me, her hands caressing my back as she waits for me to talk.

  “No. It’s not over. I… I think the magic didn't finish. It said something about needing material. And somehow, I am not afraid of it, not anymore. I could feel my fear in the memory, but… I am not scared; and I don’t know why.” I didn’t know but I had ahe magic had ged my brain before, so why shouldn’t it have then? Was I even still me? Or was I just a puppet for the magic to trol? “I don’t know what ged, if I am still the Ada that I was before, and if I am not… does it bother me?” I barely speak in a whisper, too scared to give voice to the words.

  Mia, as kind as she is, doesn’t answer immediately, letting my words settle for a few moments before talking. “I ’t tell you whether you are the you from before, but the you I’ve met has been nothing but great so far. We’ve all been traumatized by the genesis, to some extent, and there’s more out there that be just as bad. I… uand you when you say you aren’t certain, and that if you aren’t, then it might just not bother you. Someone made a deal with me, a few turies ago. A rather one sided deal that was fore. It made me despair for many years, trying to figure out whether I am still me despite the pulsion to do things I hate. And… I eventually figured out that nothing in this world is absolute. I ’t exactly act against the kingdom's orders, not while the binding is in pce, but that doesn’t mean I have to do things of my own volition.” She pauses for a minute, letting me process her words. “I think your situation might be simir. You’ve ged, but that doesn’t mean all of you is gone. You still remember your past, the people in your life. The magic didn’t take that away from you, it just… ged your outlook a little.”

  I curl into her, and decide not to press the issue on her binding. She seems rather relut to talk about it. Instead, I keep the topiyself and the magic for now. “I remember, yes. But I don’t know how much of it is me, how mue will remain if I let it tinue. I am scared of the ges, and I still trust the magi a level that I’ve only ever trusted Anya. I felt her. In the dream, after the co. She was there. She assured me I’d be fine.” I shiver at the thought, Anya is dead. Did the magic creep into my thoughts and use my memories to try and calm me? I start quaking as I begin to spiral, only for Mia to rock me slightly bad forth.

  “It’s okay, you’re okay. Magi give new life to the dead, it’s rare, very rare, but it happened before. But… it’s temporary, as far as anyone knows, unless specifically made to st.” Her fingers gently stroke ay scalp. “I’m sorry. I wish I could’ve met her, you’ve not talked much about her but you clearly care a lot, and so did she, no? Maybe that’s how she was able to be there when you needed her.”

  Her words make sense, but also not, she’d been dead for a year, how would the magic have been able t her back, even for a moment? The details don’t matter though. “Thank you. I don’t want to lose myself. Or maybe I do. I ’t tell. People never made seo me, so maybe… maybe this is just how it would’ve always been, and it really is just trying to help.” Maybe I am deluding myself, trying to find some reason the magic is not, in fact, ging who I am. Maybe, just maybe, it is merely letting me be free. “Free.” I voice my thoughts out loud to Mia. “I’ve never been free. Not really. Society didn’t let people like me be truly free. So… maybe I be free now.”

  Mia hums a little as she tihe soothing motion of her hands. “I hope you be. You deserve to be. Everyone deserves to be. You’ll just have to find your way to being free, and well, I’ll support you, as much as I at least.”

  I nod into her and remain quiet for a long while, eventually separating us slightly. “I… have to ask. I think. Why do you care? We’ve only just met.” My voice is small and meek.

  She eyes me for a few moments, before nodding to herself. “You’re cute, and lost in a world you don’t know. I don’t have much reason beyond that. There’s potential, hope, for more, for you to be able to help ge things. Your presen that barrier was strange, a curiosity. And… well, curiosities in this world tend to be special. So maybe I am selfish, hedging my bets in my favor, but I also saw a woman that needed help, and I wao help.” Her voice is quiet, somewhat shy, as if she’s afraid I will pull away from her for admitting to her motives, as if she’s ashamed of them. Instead, I my tail close around her, and give her a hug.

  “I uand. Thank you for telling me, and thank you for helping me.” Mia rexes into my hug at my words, a small sound of esg her that I ’t quite pce. We stay like that for a little while before she stirs.

  “I’ll get us some food, and then n what to do , staying iy is probably not the best, but getting out could pose some problems.” She slowly disentangles herself from my tail before slipping out from underh the covers. A riot of patterns goes ay skin as I notice her state of undress. I quickly look towards the wall instead and curl baderh the covers.

  Mia chuckles slightly as she puts on her coat. “If I had issues with you seeing me like this, I’d have said so. Also, you’ve been running around he eime, though your body does have more… natural ce than mine.” I hear the grin in her voice but refuse to turn around to get a better look at the scales I had spotted on her body.

  “I… hadn’t even sidered that. I don’t feel like I need clothes. Holy, the thought of wearing them makes me unfortable already.” A small shudder goes ay skin at the thought, I’d always had sensory issues, but something tells me that they’d only be worse now.

  “You don’t have to wear anything, with how you look, most people aren’t going to be bothered by it, sorry to say.” There’s some more rustling before she tinues. “Right, I’ll be ba a few minutes, any preferences for food?”

  I slowly turn my head to look towards her. She had her coat ba now and was looking at me, a small smile on her face. “Do I really look that different? It’s a bit hard to tell. As for food; no real preferences.” She gives me a nod and turns to the door.

  “There’s a mirror ih, you take a look there, but yes, you holy look more like a mutated leopard than a person? But also irely. I think it’s cute, but there’s plenty that would take issue with it, sorry.” She waits for me to give an aowledgement before heading out the door.

  I take a little bit before crawling out from underh the covers and towards the bathroom, curiosity having finally gotteter of me. The mirror inside isn’t particurly rge, but it’s big enough for me to see most of my body, sans tail.

  Mia had been right, my body had ged more than I thought, though I am not sure when that had happened. Although, with the proportions being as they are, my suspi falls on when I switched to moving on all fours. The shift had felt so natural that I hadn’t really paid attention to the details, so maybe it had ged my anatomy more than I anticipated back then.

  I sider my situation for a few more moments. On one hand I really liked the way I looked and it was very ve, but I also wao know how much I’d be able to shift around, and maybe find a middle ground that is usable as well.

  Deade, I tap into that same feeling as I did before. It feels just as natural as I ge from a quadrupedal stao a bipedal stance, and with the mirror I see my entire body shift. Underh my skin my flesh pulses and squirms with a weird but not unpleasaion; my arms readjust their length to fit my bipedal form, though notably my legs stay mostly the same, the same digitigrade position as before. The same applies to my face, only shifting so as to aodate being on a bipedal body.

  The shift is quickly done, and I look somewhat more human now, my chest that had almost entirely disappeared present once again, though it’s rather modest; and with the amount of scale feathers c my body it doesn’t feel like I o cover up either. The shift makes me realize though that I feel my body to a much more fine degree than before, and with a little tration I feel all the way down to the ans inside me. The sensation isn’t super detailed, but I tell that they’re all w as they should, and that I have a few more ans that I had been missing before, though they do not seem quite the same as what I had read in the biology books in school, but at least I wouldn’t need my meds anymore. There also seem to be some ans that aren’t fully developed yet, their purpose not quite clear.I sider shifting back to the quadrupedal form when Mia knocks on the door and steps ihe main room again. “Foods here.” I hear her move around past the door, and decide to not let her wait.

  Peeking around the doorframe I look over at her. “Uh, hey, don’t be surprised? I may look a little bit differently.” Mia looks over to me as she pces down a basket on a table, and gives me a nod.

  I hesitate for a moment before stepping out. I did not think I’d feel embarrassed before, but showing myself to Mia like this feels different. I feel more exposed than I thought and my tail es around to around my body. Mia just smiles at me and gives me another nod. “That’s much more human, if you’re feeling shy then I don’t mind if you borrow some of my clothes or shift back. But you’re still covered in those feathers of yours, so don’t worry too much.” She takes a seat at the table and motions me over. “So, you shapeshift?” I feel etion at her priority being how I feel, and not her curiosity. Joini the table, I let my tail drop to the side; she’s right, I wasn’t naked like a human would be.

  “Yeah, I think I do more than that too. My body feels like… it wants to ge, bee better. There’s some ans in me I didn’t have before. Some of them are not developed yet either, but they don’t seem like what a human would have.” I shrug a little as I look at the assortment of food Mia has gotten us.

  It’s a rather normal meal, some bread and cheese, a bit of ham and an assortment of different fruits, though as I take a look at them, I notiething. “Mia, nothing of this has magi it, is that normal?” I take a slice of bread and put some of the cheese on it, I always liked cheese.

  Mia finishes swallowing a grape before answering. “Yes, magic doesn’t stay in dead matter for long, with some rare exceptions. There’s ways to preserve it, though most don’t bother, the be is too small.” I give her a nod before taking a bite, the bread and cheese taste good, yet it feels off; g, in a way. I tell that it won’t satiate me for long.

  I finish the slice of bread I had made before looking to Mia again. “I don’t think this is enough for me. My body is very insistent on this not being enough sustenance. And I don’t think volume is going to fix it.” I tilt my head slightly as I take a fees and pop them into my mouth. My teeth might be those of a predator now, at least for the most part, but I still eat just fine.

  She gives me a nod. “Well, we try and find you some food, when we’re out hunting it’ll be fine, repare the food before the magic decays away. Now, as for how we are going to get to hunting, I’ve given it a bit of a thought.” She waits for me to signal that she has my attention, and then tinues. “The airport is out of the questiht now, it’s been fully sealed off, but! There are some cavern passages that eventually lead out of the mountain. There’s just… a slight issue. No one has used them food half a tury, as far as I am aware. They’re mostly ied with various monsters and the pathways are unstable. The former isn’t a problem since we pn to hunt anyway, assuming you see in the dark?”

  I give her a slight nod before eborating. “I think I , at least at night I had no issues. And I see heat, and magic to aent, not sure how useful either of those are going to be in a cave.”

  “Should be fihen. The unstable pathways might be a problem though, sihey might have colpsed and blocked off our route, and the passages aren’t fully mapped out either, so it’s easy to get lost.” She mirrors the tilt of my head as she looks me in the eyes. “We’ll probably be fine, but I want you to know the risks we’re fag if we go that route. The other option is waiting here, risking your discovery; and I holy do not know how long they will keep the airport sealed. It might be a few weeks.”

  We tiing while I mull over the options, each bite making me more sure. I definitely would not be able to subsist on this food for aended period, and I don’t want to burden Mia. “I think we should try the passages, I don’t think I stay here, and you don’t seem very motivated to stay here either.” I smile at her as she gives me a nod.

  “Alright, we’ll o prepare some food, and you probably should shift baot that I don’t appreciate your form as is. But it’s safer if others think you’re an animal.” Her eyes leave mine for a moment as she speaks, a curious blush rising to her face.

  “Yes, I definitely do that! I also want to try some other things but we do that when we’re safe and away!” I give her another smile before standing up and heading to the bathroom, readying myself to shift once again!

  LesbeanAda