The Elijahian Kingdom

  100 miles from the capital

  October 5th, 2021

  Right after the Americans helped the Silver Stars deal with the Barrobear situation, thanks to those American tankers, they left soon afterwards due to fuel shortages or... whatever that meant. In any case, they were nowhere near the castle anymore, which meant the team was once again on its own.

  Still, at the very least, the Americans had led them into a town, American-controlled, that had an adventurer’s guild building.

  “Welcome to Eland,” Callam read aloud from the sign as the Silver Stars stood at the town’s entrance. American soldiers and local elves moved about the streets.

  “Looks like the Americans are expanding fast,” Rurnyl observed, eyeing the American flag already raised high. A few soldiers patrolled nearby, and, yes, there was even an elf-run hot dog stand.

  Soon after, the team entered the local guild hall, an expectedly rundown building, where they met the guild master, a young elf just working the job for extra coin.

  “Ah, flark!” Caineghis yelped, startled, as a mouse suddenly darted out from behind a crate.

  “Stop saying ‘flark’ all the time!” Callam snapped, as Mitsuzane casually grabbed the mouse and nibbled on it.

  “It’s my default curse word. I’ve got nothing else; it’s what I grew up with… wait, is Mitsuzane eating that mouse?” Caineghis asked, suddenly distracted.

  The group turned to the squirrel woman, who smiled innocently. Caineghis, on the other hand, promptly looked disgusted.

  “Wait, aren’t you a beastman?” Mariot asked, confused.

  “I’m a veganer,” Caineghis replied flatly.

  “I’m sorry, a what?” Mitsuzane asked, genuinely puzzled. As a half-beastman herself, she had never heard of one who followed a plant-based diet.

  “Ohh, so that’s why he’s pissed all the time,” Mariot realised.

  “Yeah, he’s a vegan. But we’re getting off-topic,” Callam cut in, placing his hands firmly on the desk. He asked the question that had been on everyone’s mind:

  “What missions does this hall have for us?”

  The group glanced around the nearly empty guild hall. Besides the young elf behind the counter, they were the only ones there.

  “We’re empty on quests, unfortunately,” the elf said with a shrug.

  “What? What? What? What? Are you saying there are no quests? In this completely empty guild hall?” Caineghis asked, incredulous.

  “I’m sorry, but the Americans wiped out most of the monster population. The only missions I’ve got left are odd jobs the locals made up a while ago. So I have one mission left, and it involves dealing with…”

  “I’m out,” Caineghis announced, immediately turning and walking out of the building.

  “Oh, come on, Caine…” Rurnyl muttered.

  “Children”, The elf finished just as Caineghis disappeared through the door.

  “Of course.”

  The rest of the team collectively sighed. It was a well-known fact that Caineghis absolutely despised children and anyone under a certain age, really. Especially after that whole Landshark mission.

  “So, no quests involving monster slaying at all?” Mitsuzane asked gently.

  “Unfortunately, no,” the elf guild worker replied. “Like I said, the Americans wiped out most of the monster population. They’ve even been handling bandit suppression and arrests. What’s left are just favours from the townsfolk, basic odd jobs. Only one quest type remains. As for why the place is so empty, we just reopened after the hero ban was lifted. We’re getting a loan from the higher-ups in the guild trading network.”

  “How much do the small quests pay?” Callam asked.

  “Twenty gold coins per hour.”

  “Dammit!” Mariot swore, clearly displeased with the below-average rate, not nearly enough to fund his drinking habits.

  “We’ll do it,” Callam said reluctantly.

  And at that moment, he already knew exactly where this was going.

  “Good, right this way,” the elf guild master said.

  He led the team outside toward a nearby worksite, specifically, the framework of a small house under construction. Only one worker was present: a child, no older than ten, clearly just trying to earn some coin.

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  “Are we really going to use our fantastic fighting abilities… to build a house?” Rurnyl asked flatly.

  “This is the best I can offer, and I truly am sorry,” the guild master replied. “The Americans took all the other jobs. But the sooner this house gets built, the sooner I can pay you for around eight hours of work. You’re looking at 150 gold coins.”

  He smiled, clearly trying to remain upbeat, but Mariot's and Rurnyl’s unimpressed expressions said it all.

  “…What?” the elf asked, confused.

  “That’s kinda low,” Mariot replied bluntly. “You broke or something?”

  “Really? Er, um, sorry about that…”

  “Cut the kid some slack, Mariot,” Rurnyl interjected. “The hero bans were just lifted. It’s like your home kingdom slapping a tariff on my bow. Why did that cost me fifteen gold coins?”

  “We Valkyrens don’t like getting shot out of the sky,” Mariot replied smugly.

  “Uh-huh. Sure…” Rurnyl muttered, clearly still bitter.

  “How about you two go blow off some steam and find Caineghis?” Callam said, stepping in. “Me and Mitsuzane will handle this little construction project with the kid.”

  “I’m in it for the money!” Mitsuzane said cheerfully.

  “You two are just gonna screw each other, aren’t you?” Mariot muttered under her breath, loud enough for Callam to hear.

  His face turned beet red. Mariot knew how awkward Callam got around Mitsuzane. She was the first woman he’d ever recruited and easily the kindest. That made it all the more obvious he was always trying to protect her.

  “W-what?!” Mitsuzane exclaimed.

  “A little quiet, please?” Callam said through gritted teeth. Then, turning to Mariot: “Just… go. I’ll pay you extra not to say that.”

  “Haha, sure.”

  “Please. Go away,” Callam added more politely.

  As the others left, he picked up a hammer while Mitsuzane, smiling, raised her hands and chanted softly. “Repario.”

  Soon afterwards, the Valkyren and the dark elf set off to find the grumpy vegan beastman. As they walked through town, they couldn’t help but notice the growing presence of American culture slowly creeping in. Hotdog stands had popped up on nearly every corner. Something called boba tea was being sold out of small carts. American soldiers wandered around, chatting casually. Meanwhile, a few local shops were struggling to compete with the new wave of foreign businesses.

  “You see the Black Widow trailer?” one soldier asked as he passed by.

  “Nah, honestly I think that shit looks mid as fuck, ya know? But did you catch the Spider-Man trailer? Alfred Molina’s back as Doc Ock!”

  The two non-human women glanced at each other, visibly confused by the bizarre words coming out of the soldiers’ mouths.

  “Spider-Man?” Rurnyl repeated, tilting her head. “What in the realms is that?”

  “Sounds like an insufferable person,” Mariot answered. “If a man were a spider, he’d be the most annoying, unbearable, and horrifying creature anyone could ever meet.”

  “…Why would you say that?” Rurnyl asked, puzzled by the leap in logic.

  “Well, for one,” Mariot began, “I’ve dealt with my fair share of giant spiders, and trust me, they’re not pretty. Based on that experience, I’d say a Spider-Man would rank as a Class A threat to society. A menace to the people.”

  “So you’re saying a Spider-Man would be a menace?” Rurnyl asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yes,” Mariot replied matter-of-factly.

  “Anyway, where is that beastman? I want to ask him how he can even be a Veganer. Last I checked, beastmen are the number one consumers of meat on the continent.”

  “Well… maybe Caineghis is built differently,” Rurnyl suggested.

  Mariot scoffed and then burst into laughter.

  “Pfft, he’s not built different; he’s built weak,” Mariot scoffed. “Caine’s the only beastman I know who isn’t a brawler. He’s a grenadier. That’s rare, super rare. Even more than beastmen who go vegetarian. And don’t forget the time he shouted, ‘I’m not a flarking shorty!’”

  From what Mariot had gathered, Caineghis was an anomaly in almost every way. First off, beastmen traditionally hated ranged weapons. But Caine? He carried grenades like a human commando. Then there was the recent revelation that Caineghis was a Veganer, meaning his diet was entirely plant-based. That was practically a cultural crime among beastmen.

  And finally, his size. Most beastmen looked like walking tanks, towering at around 200 centimetres and built like they bench-pressed oxen for fun. Caineghis, on the other hand? He barely hit 150 centimetres and was skinny as a dry twig. By beastman standards, he was practically a garden gnome.

  “Isn’t he technically a shorty?” Rurnyl asked.

  “Exactly. He’s 150 cm and uses ranged weapons. That makes him a certified shorty.”

  “You’re just being mean now.”

  “You know me, Rurnyl. Being mean is just part of the package. You’ve heard me talk about my bastard brother and his parade of man-slut friends, right? The ones compensating for their sad little excuses for, well, you know.”

  “So being mean is your defence mechanism against people like them?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Damn. That's kind of tragic,” Rurnyl said with a sympathetic shrug. “I joined this team to be a great archer. You sound like you joined to escape something.”

  “I did,” Mariot said plainly. “But honestly? Dealing with this insanity is still better than what I left behind.”

  “What did you leave behind?” Rurnyl asked, her tone more cautious now.

  “…Let’s just say I’d rather swing a sword for minimum pay than be passed around like a cum dumpster and be gangbanged by a bunch of disgusting nobles before I was even ten,” Mariot replied, her voice oddly calm.

  Rurnyl stared at her, stunned silent, unsure how to respond.

  “Please don’t say that… That’s way out of my comfort zone,” Rurnyl said quietly, clearly disturbed by Mariot’s earlier comment.

  “No hard feelings,” Mariot replied, shrugging it off. “Look, Caine’s over there.”

  The two turned to spot Caineghis sitting alone at a wooden table, quietly eating something that looked suspiciously green and leaf-heavy. As they approached, the wolf beastman looked up with his usual scowl.

  “Let me guess, Callam and Mitsuzane are stuck with a kid?” he said dryly.

  “Yes,” Mariot replied with a sigh. “And no, we don’t need another one of your rants about why you hate children. Maybe it’s because you’re short.”

  “Hey!” Caine barked, ears twitching.

  “Relax, I’m joking.” Mariot grinned. “But seriously, what is that you’re eating?”

  “It’s called a Caesar salad. Got it from one of the new American-inspired joints down the road. Grade-A dressing. Excellent fibre. You two should give it a shot; it's great for the gut,” he said, fork in hand.

  The two stared at him. Something was…off.

  “You’re too calm,” Mariot said suspiciously. “Like, disturbingly calm.”

  “Yeah,” Rurnyl added. “Where’s the usual angry, ranting Caineghis?”

  “I have table manners, you know,” Caineghis replied evenly. “And when I eat food I actually enjoy, I don’t see the need to scream about the world.”

  “I’m sorry, but could you go back to being angry?” Rurnyl asked, genuinely unsettled. “This version of you is freaking me out.”

  Caineghis chuckled, barely. “Talk to Callam. He’s the only one who knows what I’m like day-to-day. You two have only been on the team for, what, eight months? You’ve still got plenty to learn… munch… munch… This salad is great, by the way.”

  “I’ll never understand how a beastman like you ends up a plant-eating twig.”

  “You get used to it.” He took a sip of water and then set the glass down. “Anyway, have you noticed what’s happening around here?”

  “You mean the sudden wave of hotdogs, soldiers, and movie trailers?” Mariot asked.

  “Exactly. I’ve been talking to the locals; they’re glad to see adventurers again. A lot changed while we were gone.”

  “Such as?” Rurnyl asked.

  Caineghis leaned back. “In short, the Americans are shifting the culture here. I’ve seen it firsthand. There’s less of the old elven traditions in the streets, drowned out by imported noise. Their food, their tech, their fashion. Flashy, expensive, and loud.”

  “Sounds like the elves folded fast,” Rurnyl said. “Didn’t the last report say they were calling for outside help?”

  “Yeah. Makes sense they’d latch onto the strongest player. But there might be more going on beneath the surface,” Caineghis replied. “Not that it’s our concern unless they plan on putting us out of business. That would be a real problem.”

  “But if they’re rich…” Mariot said, her gears already turning.

  “Then maybe we find a way to get even richer than your brother.”

  “Exactly.”

  “One thing’s clear,” Caine said, eyes glinting. “This kingdom? It’s an untapped opportunity. No one’s realised it yet.”