Chapter 269 - Shadows of the A Sn

  Nathan Evenhart:

  I jolted awake, my heart rag and my breath ragged. The darkness I had fallen into had robbed me of any sense of time, plungio a deep limbo. My body, draio its limits, simply ceased funing, leaving me in a state of minimal existehere were no dreams, —just an absolute emptiness, as if I had been pletely disected from reality. When I finally regained sciousness, my memories were fused, fragmented, and an overwhelming sense of despair took hold.

  It felt as though I had been alone in that darkness for decades. The cept of time seemed to vanish, as if it crawled in that limbo, moving more slowly. Being alone, engulfed by darkness with only a sliver of sciousness, was suffog.

  Instinctively, I looked at my hands, cheg them quickly, searg for something familiar. My chest thudded erratically, as if I needed immediate firmation of who I was. Memories of my past life flooded my mind, and for a brief moment, I feared that life had been nothing more than a dream. But when I saw my hands—Nathan Evenhart’s hands—the relief flooded my body. I was in my room, healed, and beside me, Cyl slept, in her form of a small phoenix.

  I am me... I thought, still trying to calm my heart. As I remembered, in that vast darkness, I had dreamed of the serpent-dragon.

  However, the weight of what I had done in Nikous Wolves' fortress settled in. The memories of my past life, as Icarus, mixed with those of Nathan, creating a whirlwind of flig emotions.

  Sorry, Sisika...

  I had allowed my old self to take trol. The images of Icarus’s wars, the screams, the pleas for mercy, came back to haunt me. As Nathan, I found myself repeating acts I swore I would never it again.

  In this new life, I had decided not to do that anymore. I only killed truly evil people, beings who did not deserve to live. But in that fortress, I had taken the lives of soldiers… men who were just following their superiors’ orders.

  In my old world, I ended wars. I did that so no one would suffer as I had. And now, there, in that bed, I felt like the most vile person who ever existed. I let the darkness inside me take trol. The worst part was knowing it was still there, deep aless, waiting for the right moment to be unleashed again.

  On the wall in front of me, the shadow of a throne appeared, surrounded by fire aru. It was a vision that had haunted me in another life, a symbol of absolute power and the loneliness it brings. I closed my eyes, trying to push the image away, struggling to maintain trol.

  I o be myself.

  When I opened my eyes, Goddess Athena was there. At the foot of my bed, watg me with that enigmatic gaze. Her gentle smile trasted with the seriousness in the depths of her eyes. She looked at the shadow of the throne on the wall, then back at me, and shook her head slightly, as if judging me.

  Athena approached, her firailing across the bedspread until they reached my body. She leaned closer to me, her warm breath tig my ear.

  “Icarus, you know we could...” she whispered in a sweet, seductive voice. “We both, ruling together, as I suggested before... before you killed me. My dear General...” She smiled, her words den with promises and dangerous memories.

  I took a deep breath, struggling not to be swayed by the temptation of the darkness she brought. I 't go back to being who I was. Not anymore.

  “Your memory is full of fws, Icarus...” she whispered, her voice dripping with venom. “Sometimes you believe you ihe underworld on your own, other times you vince yourself that it was I who sent you there. You know full well I didn’t do that to Helen... that was an illusion, a falsehood created by your mind. The Sn that existed inside you locked away yreatest secret, yering it with trauma and illusory lies.”

  Her cold fingers slowly slid ay forehead, the tip of her nail gently scratg my skin, almost affeate, but with a cruel weight behind the touch.

  “You know... deep down, you always knew.” Her voice was a melodic whisper, eg as if reag the deepest cracks in my mind.

  “Remember... Remember what’s buried inside you. Stop hiding behind those lies...”

  She pressed her fio the ter of my forehead, and a sharp pain spread through my mind.

  “Remember the truth... about that day... the day of my death.”

  Those words from Athena triggered something terrible within me, something I had buried deeply in my past life. I felt a shiver, a cold running down my spine, as hidden, dark, and terrifying memories began to emerge. My chest tightened, and I soon started to hypervehe mere glimpse of that secret, locked away even from my own sciousness, left me nauseous, as if the air around me had bee poisohe world started spinning, and I felt my body give way, my miering on the edge of an abyss I didn’t want to remember.

  No. I ’t... I thought, struggling against the rising terror. Something I had eliminated with the powers of a Sn God was scratg the surface, about to emerge. A secret I had erased from my own mind, but now it was f its way back. The dizziness increased, and nausea overtook me as Athena ughed at me, pointing, as if she kly what I was trying tet. Because she did. She always knew.

  I fell to the side, uo move, immobilized by fear. The darkness around me began to close in, the shadows of my mind, the cracks that hid the secret I should never remember, closing in. I couldn’t breathe, speak, or scream. I was trapped, reliving the deepest pains of my life as Icarus. The memories came back with overwhelming force: the poison choking me in those terrible nights, the moment I lost Heleo war because of me, the despair of holding her in my arms as she died. And behind all of that, something even worse was ing, the secret I feared the most apanied by a giant throne.

  I closed my eyes, desperately trying to focus, pushing away the shadows stirring in my soul. But they were relentless.

  “Monster! Monster!” the voices screamed in the darkness. “Tyrant!”

  The voices echoed closer, invading my ears as images of tless faces appeared in my mind. Eae dispying deep despair. I felt those memories pulling me down, as if they wao drown me in that sea of darkness.

  The sound of the screams intensified, blending with the deafening csh of swords against shields. The cacophony engulfed me, and I sank into that torrent of memories, desperate to make them silent. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop that terrifying cmor.

  “My child...” A sweet, firm voice echoed, cutting through the living nightmare ing me. Suddenly, everything disappeared: the shadows, the Goddess Athena, the weight of guilt. I looked around, and I only saw her – my mother.

  She rushed into the room, sitting beside me on the bed, pullio a hug. A hug that dissipated all the darkhat had inhabited my heart.

  “Nate, my son...” Her voice was full of love and as she held me tightly. That embrace was the same ohat brought me to the light when I was reborn in this world, the same warmth that surrounded me when she held me for the first time. My mother was my sun, the light that always illumihe darkness inside me.

  “Mom...” My voice came out weak, and my eyes welled up with emotion and relief as I was held in her arms. All the fear, all the pain, seemed to fade with that touch.

  “I was so worried. You were unscious for days.” Her voice trembled slightly as she kissed my forehead. “My son, why did you do that? Why did you use that spell?”

  Each word carried the weight of her and desperation, and I felt my heart tighten.

  "Sorry." The words came out low, almost a whisper. "In that moment... I let myself be ed by the shadows."

  I felt her embrace tighten, a gesture that, though firm, brought the warmth of fort. Being there, in her arms, was reassuring for both of us.

  She kissed my head again, her affe filling the room with a calm only she knew how to create.

  "A part of me died when I imagined you leaving... and I would have goh you if that had happened." Her voice was a mixture of pain and relief as she held me close. "Don’t leave me, Nathan. Please, don’t abandon me."

  I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her words sink into my chest.

  " you keep hugging me?" I asked, almost a whisper. I didn’t want to return to those shadows.

  "Nate, I could stay like this forever." She ughed softly, lightly tapping my cheek, and in that simple gesture, I surrendered pletely to her affe. I took Cyl, who was still deeply asleep, and pced her in my p, cradling her alongside us.

  For long minutes, maybe hours, my mother didn’t let go of me. Being in her arms was like sinking into a serene ke, where the temperature erfed the soft waters slid around me, calming my soul.

  But at some point, she broke the silence.

  "My child..." she murmured, as she ran her fihrough my hair. "What happehere... it o stay there. Don’t let the weight of those memories destroy you." Her voice was gentle, but it carried a depth that touched me deeply. "I fought so hard so you wouldn't have to live through a war, and I feel like I failed you, Nathan. Five me."

  I opened my mouth to respond, but she pced a delicate finger over my lips, sileng me.

  "I hope one day you uand when your aunt talks about the importance of politics to avoid flict. Wars... they only brih. There are no winners, only survivors marked forever. Children without parents, wives without husbands. And even the 'winning' side es back destroyed, physically aionally. War is devastating, not only while it's happening, but especially in what it leaves behind. Because we will always be haunted by the lives we take. There will always be ghosts acg us of the sins we’ve itted. Don’t listen to those ghosts."

  She lifted my , making me look into her eyes, which shoh a mixture of love and sadness.

  "I ’t take away the weight of the shadows that chase you, but I will always be here, if you need me." A soft kiss on my forehead, and with that, any trace of darkhat might still have inhabited my heart was dissipated.

  "Thank you, mom. You always know what to say to e..."

  She smiled, that warm smile I had always known.

  "Of course, Nate. After all, I’m your mom."