Silver flags fluttered in the wind, flashing sunlit reflections from the blue waves that were Preene's miles of tents. They spotted the landscape in a massive ring of points surrounding the largest of Askance's walled cities. My legions needed rest and those who fought needed to recover. Preene's newly arrived forces needed to eat, sleep, and prepare for the war that was to come.

  The army nestled within Obria's walls did not.

  Lycan scouts ran the stone barrier, searching for anyone who dared attempt escape. Watch Posts suspended between the tallest of trees housed guards with telescopes that searched far into the distance for any approach.

  "Remember, no one, not a single woman or child, is to leave that city," I instructed the three highest ranking generals of Preene's military. "Howens is clever, and we can't risk word being sent to Estil. We're not fortified to fight on two fronts, and we'll need all our resources to siege the city."

  "Yes, My Queen," they chanted in unison, before turning to leave at my wave.

  "All hail the savage queen."

  I whipped back. My eyes caught those of the youngest. Though the man was still a great deal older than me, forty at least. His jet black hair and dark beard bore the first signs of gray, yet his colorless eyes were just as sharp as any man half his age.

  "Is there something you wish to protest, general?" I bit out. Irritation spread across me like an itch. We were close to a battle, and yet he dared question me.

  "Just a comment," his voice was rough, worn from years of barking orders, "that your methods are unusually hash."

  My lips curled in a silent snarl. "Indeed, but I will not risk getting caught between armies for sympathy. There is far more at stake."

  The general nodded. "I have no wish to criticize." His tone made it clear he did. "Only point out the hypocrisy." He snuck a pointed glance in the direction of the medical tent, where I knew Shirah and Alice kept River company. "Forgive me, of course I didn't realize such things meant so little to a queen."

  My mouth pressed into a hard line. For a moment, I allowed myself to consider all the punishments I had for those who gained popularity through the lycan fights. But, despite being a former trainer, I needed the general's expertise. I couldn't command an army on my own.

  Yet, I also couldn't have my authority undercut.

  "I suggest obey," I growled, "and think about all the up and coming officers eager to replace you."

  The general bowed before making his way after the others. My gaze flicked from his retreat to the man leaning near the doorway.

  "He's right, you know."

  I huffed, turning away. "Where's Claw?"

  "Right outside. He's eating a-" He poked his head out the door. His face returned with a grimace. "On second thought, I'd rather not know what that used to be."

  "Well, the two of you can wander. I want to be left alone."

  Cyrus pushed himself from the support beam, hooking a finger on his mask as he strode to me. The fabric fell away to reveal stern features. "You're avoiding the subject," he said as his hands wrapped around my shoulders.

  "I'm done with it," was my reply. I allowed him to pull me into an embrace. "So leave me."

  "Can't do. I was told to watch you, and I don't fancy upsetting the hellhound when killing's on his mind."

  "It's spring," I mumbled into his coat, "I doubt killing's what he's after."

  A light chuckle. "I can't blame him. I've had similar thoughts as of late."

  "Well, you're going to have to wait, so you might as well go. Tell Cerberus I don't need a sitter."

  He frowned down at me. "You're still avoiding it. Besides, I know when you tell me to leave is when you want me the most."

  "I am. And that's not true." I sounded like a stubborn toddler. I didn't care.

  "Really?" There was a slight smile framed by that strong jaw. "Then why are you still holding on?"

  I quickly released where my fingers unconsciously tangled in the fur of his coat, giving him a slight shove as I did. The man stepped back, once again considering me with that stern expression that was so unlike him.

  "Listen, Desire, innocent-"

  "Don't!" I snapped, turning away before changing my mind and spinning back. "They're not innocent, especially those ones! They're the ones that did nothing," I hissed. "They watched as I was dragged through that city and thrown to the wolves, and not one, not a single person, said a word!"

  "Some are just children-"

  "So was I!"

  Cyrus paused, then let out a heavy sigh. I eyed him, wondering if that meant he accepted defeat. He met my gaze. "It's been a week, surely you could let just a few out."

  "For Howens to send word to Estil?" I growled. "Have you heard of the Trojan horse?" He looked as though he was to protest. I stopped him with a wave. "We don't have the resources to keep them here."

  He was pouting again in that silly look of discontent. It was almost humorous, seeing such a feminine expression on such a masculine face. Perhaps it would have been, had I not had such serious matters on my mind. I didn't like the way his eyes avoided mine.

  "We need to win this war." I didn't like the way my voice had an almost pleading edge. "Not just for us. For Preene, and the children..." I hesitated, then allowed my voice to drop to a whisper, "our children."

  The way he sharply looked at me, I wondered if I had gone too far, suggesting that all the children... or that he and I were...

  A laugh, small, but it rang with a touch of mirth. "I've always wanted a big family. Not just big but-" he sighed, "Before we left I was teaching Jared to use a saber. I'm no expert, I just... I really just wanted to."

  A knot formed in my throat. "I remember that. Alice and Sunshine were chasing Angelica." It had been in the palace gardens. Taurus and Raymond were jumping hedges. Grizzlefur was jealous. That was the first time he lifted Raymond, even if he wasn't yet strong enough to run with him.

  "Really, we're not all that much older than them. But-" he swallowed. His tone took on a strained quality. Was it possible he felt the sharp stab of grief as I did? "You're right. We have to win, no matter the cost. Our family's being torn apart."

  ***

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  I couldn't sleep that night. The Preenish camp stayed active all hours, but in our secluded tent, the nighttime activities were no more disturbing than a distant storm. It was the noise inside my mind that kept me awake.

  A commotion in the main camp had drawn Cyrus and Claw away some time ago, leaving Cerberus and I in our shared tent. Although originally roused by their departure, the lycan had since relaxed, falling back asleep.

  It was almost strange, watching my companion rest. He so rarely relaxed, and nearly always woke well before I did. The harassment his albinism brought left him guarded. And yet, he allowed me to see him as he was now, half stretched on soft pads, tail curled around his heels, ferocious teeth hidden within relaxed features. Pure fur rippled with each breath. His pinkish nose flared, taking in the cool morning air. It nearly touched that of my mask, which rested above my head.

  Movement by my chest. A soft pressure slid across my stomach. My eyes flicked down to the curly blond locks tucked into the warmth between us. Though she was turned towards me, one hand stretched back, fingers tangled in Cerberus's coat.

  Her nights were just as unrestful as mine. Between the nearly daily migraines and the lingering memories of Sunshine, sleep had been sparse. My gaze returned to my companion. Cerberus had been more than willing to lend his coat to comfort the toddler. More than once I had run her crying, only to find her swathed in his arms, chin pressed to her back.

  A soft growl. Red eyes blinked into awareness. Footsteps crunched stiff leaves. The entrance to the tent was pushed aside.

  "Desire!" Cyrus's voice was hushed, but urgent, "You're needed immediately."

  I sat up, pulling my coat over my arms. "Bring her to Shirah," I murmured to the lycan before standing, leaving him to rouse the awakening toddler while I stepped out onto the cold.

  "We have to hurry."

  "What's the issue?"

  He closed his mouth. His eyes fell to the frosted ground. A sigh loosened his tongue. "A lycan killed one of the soldiers."

  My head snapped to face him. "Were they harassed?"

  "I don't know... he is a captivebred, so we only have the other soldiers' words. But..." He sighed again, this time meeting my gaze, "Really, I don't think he was."

  I didn't reply. Six months since I had taken the throne. Six months since I killed my husband to free his country's captives. As much as I wished six months was enough to heal those scars, I knew it wasn't. Those lycans still bore resentment towards humans.

  The lycans had given the humans plenty of reasons to resent them as well.

  The scene Cyrus led me to was divided in two sides, one fur, the other blue and silver uniforms. The soldiers had planted pikes between them and the lycans, an obvious sign confrontation was close.

  "You!" I barked, pointing to the closest soldier, "What happened?"

  "My Queen," the soldier bowed, "That one killed my commanding officer." He gestured to a black and gray male, who responded with a snarl.

  My eyes flicked between them. "Why?"

  "What?" The soldier looked momentarily startled. "There wasn't a reason. It just attacked him."

  "Right." I strode to the accused lycan, who watched me with suspicion. "Why did you attack that man?"

  Amber eyes studied mine for a moment, then flicked to the side. I followed them to chestnut female.

  "Is she your mate?"

  A slight nod. Of course. I rounded back on the soldiers, pointing to the female.

  "Were you harassing her?"

  This time, the men looked more sheepish. It was a different soldier that spoke. "Actually, that one was harassing us. She took Kidd’s rations. When he protested, he was attacked."

  I crossed my arms, "Kidd threatened his mate during breeding season. It's his own foolishness that got him killed."

  Protests. I turned my back on them, intent to head to the tent I knew Shirah stayed in.

  "Desire, that's not fair and you know it."

  I paused, then looked back. Cyrus had planted himself on the other side of the pikes, next to the soldiers. I didn't say anything, but he could read my thoughts on my face.

  "These men don't know about lycans. The Preenish didn't know lycans even had a breeding season." He frowned at me. I didn't like the way his disapproving stare made me so uncomfortable. "Really, even if they did, it'd be impossible not to interpret her actions as hostile."

  My shoulders were turning without my permission. It wasn't until the cold metal brushed my collar did I realize I'd stepped towards him. "It was a gesture of dominance, an instinctive behavior."

  "But they couldn't know that."

  I suddenly felt very small, like a foolish girl looking up at a much wiser adult. "They didn't even try to understand her," I whispered. "They just assumed the worst."

  "True." Cyrus pushed on the pike's shaft until it shifted. The metal head no longer pointed in my direction. "But, should only humans learn about lycans?" He reached out, gloved fingers brushing against mine. "Really, isn't it only fair lycan learn about humans as well?"

  I pulled my hand away and held it to my chest. He was right. I didn't want him to be right. I stared at the sun's reflection on the pike head, suddenly wishing it was pointed in my direction again. Dealing with people was always so much easier when there was something sharp between us.

  "You." The chestnut female's ears picked up as she realized I was addressing her. "Leave humans out of your mealtime squabbles." She gave a quick nod. I turned my attention to her mate. "And you. Attack another human and you'll be going against Blood Eye." The male shrunk back and nodded. A wave of the hand dismissed them.

  "Is that all, a slap on the wrist for a murder?" The question came from the first soldier to speak. The others murmured similar comments. The spite in their voices sparked an irritation in me, and I was more than relieved to allow it to rise to the surface.

  "And what would you have me do?" I snapped. Anger was easy, familiar, almost comfortable. "Lock him up? Lycans don't learn from punishment, they listen to strength. And I won't murder him for protecting his mate. Don't pretend you wouldn't do the same." I whipped around, certain I would march off, to meet my companion and daughter.

  Yet, again, something stopped me, forcing me to turn back. I thought I'd yell, but I couldn't. My words came out soft, quiet and somber. I spoke them to Cyrus more than anyone else.

  "Some of us can't change our nature. And our nature won't always be something you will like."

  I didn't want to see his reaction. I was almost afraid. No, I was afraid. So much so I couldn't bear to face him.

  My eyes opened to meet a crimson stare. I flinched back.

  "Cerberus!" I said it more to clear my throat than anything else.

  "Dessy!" Alice's voice came from where she was perched on the lycan's back, "Shay's missing!"

  I looked to my companion for explanation.

  “We checked her tent, then the medical tent,” the lycan shook his head, “She has abandoned us.”

  It was as if a wall was erected in my mind, blocking the concept from entering. It resisted with the strength of mortared stones. Perhaps the same stones which made up my regrets.

  “Have you checked around?” Cyrus was beside me, offering the words of logic I desperately needed. “Maybe she went for food or-”

  “I asked, and looked. She has abandoned us.”

  It was hard to ignore Cerberus’s conviction. It slammed into my fortifications like a battering ram. But, to my surprise, they held.

  “She’ll be back soon, right Cerberus?” Alice leaned forward, wrapping arms around his neck, “I hope she’s okay.”

  My companion glanced back, then met my eyes. His gaze insisted the same as his words, that Shirah, the woman I fought him for, the woman who freed me from Howens, had left us. Perhaps betrayed us.

  Most likely betrayed us.

  Had the freedom been a ruse? Had she really led Howens to our camp? Did she now run to Estil, to alert them to their capital’s peril? In reality, it only made sense. Much more than any preferable explanation.

  Had I made a mistake, trusted someone I shouldn’t have? I did it so often I lost count. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to believe I had.

  “She’ll be back, Honey,” I said, sliding Alice in my arms, “I’m sure she’s fine, and she’ll have a great adventure to tell us when she does.”

  Cerberus was giving me a scolding glare. I frowned, then turned, ignoring him.

  “Desire,” Cyrus started, “He does have a point...”

  “Shirah’s our friend. She wouldn’t betray us.” It came out with conviction, more than I could ever fake. This was the truth, I knew it. However illogical, I had faith in my friend. For the short time I had known her, I knew she was our ally. My compassion secured her alliance when I saved her from Cerberus.

  I knew, because it was what I’d do.

  “Claw,” I addressed the captivebred, who was lurking among the other lycans, “Search around the nearby woods for her. We have to make sure she’s not injured or something.”

  The lycan nodded. A sigh came from beside me. “I’ll go with him, we’ll get a search party.” I could tell by his tone he was only going through the motions to sate me. I didn’t care, I appreciated the gesture. The pair bounded off to the main camp. Cerberus joined me on my trek back to our shared tent.

  “You’re being foolish.”

  I smiled a bit. I anticipated those words. Maybe he was right, but I couldn’t believe he was. “I know she’ll be back, with good reason for disappearing, you’ll see.”

  “I have my doubts.”

  “No doubting!” I looked to Alice, who had her finger pointing at Cerberus in a scolding manner. The albino looked equally taken aback by her chastising. “Listen, we’re family, and family should trust each other. So you gotta trust Shay, right?”

  This time I couldn’t stifle the grin, nor the laugh. Judging by her choice of words, I had a sneaking suspicion just who put such ideas in her head. “That’s right. So when she gets back Cerberus’s going to be nice and hear her out, right Cerberus?” I eyed him over my shoulder.

  He rolled those beautiful irises at me, but answered, “As My Lady wishes.”

  “I trust her.” My statement was just as much to myself as it was them. It wasn’t that I doubted it, in fact, more the opposite. I stated it as an observation. I wanted to trust her, because I was just too tired of doubting people.