Ketchum Household, Pallet Town, April 1st, Undetermined Time

  “Buh.”

  Ash woke up in a tumble, which, admittedly, was not nearly as uncommon as he might have preferred, but was still enough of a shock to rid him any vestiges of sleep.

  He managed to land soundlessly on the floor, rolling into a crouch rather than falling into a heap. He didn’t do so out of any conscious thought, but rather by instinct; yet, he could hardly say how he acquired it.

  For some reason, the feeling of a blanket around his shoulders felt foreign to him.

  As if it was choking him out.

  Ash shook his head, dispelling the though, which was weird, even for him.

  He stood up - expecting to hear his knees pop, yet they didn’t - and stretched, casting a crimson eye over his room.

  Crimson?

  Ash blinked, and stared at the mirror in his room that he didn’t remember ever being in his room yet there it was, standing in the middle of his room.

  Ash looked at himself, gazing upon a scarless face with bright scarlet eyes that bore none of the bags he remembered being a constant beforehand.

  He couldn’t help but focus on the eyes, finding their colour odd. He was pretty sure his eyes weren’t red before? Granted, he wouldn’t put it past himself to forget, but last he recalled, his eyes were amber.

  A sneeze snapped him out of his spiral, turning to see Pikachu hopping off his bed with a grunt.

  Ash smiled to himself; at least Pikachu seemed to be the same as ever, what with his stink eye and mangled tail. He was pretty sure that, at this point in his life, he knew what his pokemon looked like even better than himself.

  He wondered what his mother would say to that.

  Speaking of, she didn’t seem to be at the house at the moment, given how silent it was. Based on the sun outside his window, Ash would reckon it to be sometime in the late morning.

  Which is to say: breakfast time.

  And while he was mildly disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his mother’s cooking today, he wasn’t completely helpless in providing for himself. Such a skill was a necessity during the Storm, after all, and Red had learned to make do with minimal-

  Ash blinked, fighting off a sudden headache. He didn’t know why his thoughts were now centred around some sort of storm, nor why he called himself Red in his mind.

  Who names their child after a primary colour?

  Yes, Professor Oak, Ash is talking about you.

  Ash’s thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, prompting him to step away from the kitchen - grumbling all the while - in order to open the door.

  However, upon doing so, he was met with an empty patio, entirely silent save for the distant call of a Pidgey.

  Ash rubbed his eyes - distantly wondering if he was going insane - before closing the door, only to jump as a haughty voice yelled from inside, “Ey! Ashy-boy!”

  Red whirled around, blinking at the sudden sight of Gary Oak leaning against the hallway wall. He paused, looked back and forth between Gary and the door, and began to wonder if his friend somehow acquired the ability to teleport.

  Before he could ponder this in full - which would have likely led to him answering: yes, Gary did indeed teleport inside - Gary piped up with a grin, “What’s with the weird look, tough guy? You too good for me now?”

  Ash blinked - what the hell was he on about? - and simply asked, “Huh?”

  Gary snickered, “Don’t tell me you forgot! ” He wrapped an arm around Ash’s shoulder, tugging him along, “The World Crown Championship! Ring any bells?”

  Truthfully, it did not ring any bells in Ash’s mind, and he said as such. Gary only laughed, as if he didn’t hear what Ash said, “I’ll say! The whole town’s been waiting for your return! They’ve been planning a congratulations party in your honour.”

  While Ash was still confused by all of this - somehow, the idea of him winning a Championship seemed impossible - he couldn’t help but smile, excited for the upcoming celebration.

  This excitement quickly turned to dread once Gary’s tone grew more teasing, as his smirk gained a smug edge to it, “And hey, I heard a few of your lady friends wanted to congratulate you personally . Wink wink, nudge nudge.”

  Ash blinked, uncomprehending as to why Gary seemed to find such a thing so funny . He made to ask for this very reason, only to snap his jaw shut in instinctual dread as a female voice called from outside.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  “Oh, Ashhhhhhhhh!”

  Ash jerked into a stand, eyes blown wide as Gary’s smirk widened upon his sudden understanding of his words.

  This understanding turned to fear as the front door was kicked open, prompting Serena to burst into the kitchen.

  And Ash froze , as smothered memories broke through into his mind - images of Serena’s face, streaked with blood, burning away into ashes - allowing her to sneak up on him and wrap her arms around his torso.

  And Ash froze now for an entirely different reason, as the back of his head was smothered by two freakishly large cushions that he belatedly realised were her breasts.

  And - gods above, this sounds creepy - he knows for a fact Serena’s… chest wasn’t even close to being that… developed.

  …Way to know your priorities, Ash.

  With that thought, Ash ducked away from the girl, tumbling out underneath the other side of the table. He scrambled onto his feet as Serena gave an exaggerated pout, crossing her arms underneath her (again) freakishly large chest, “What? Are you not happy to see me?”

  Ash was about to respond - though he didn’t know with what, because while he was always happy to see a friend, he was half-convinced that some mind-stuff was going on - yet, he didn’t get the chance to, as another woman spawned from the aether, “Get lost, harpy! He’s obviously happier to see me!”

  Ash turned, momentarily glad to see Misty acting somewhat normal - what with her using insults as a greeting - only to groan as her own lovestruck eyes turned to him, “Aren’t you, big boy? ”

  Ash mimed vomiting, and he was pretty sure Misty would as well, were she in her right mind. They’d long ago settled into a pseudo-sibling relationship, given how he’d grown to view her as a bratty older sister, and the reverse for her.

  But, of course, this day had seemingly decided to leave any semblance of sanity behind, as the two girls attempted to tackle him, prompting Ash to roll away with a yelp.

  He ran to the door, Pikachu doing the same as the girls crashed into a wall behind him, getting in each other’s way in their attempts to seize him.

  Ash reached for the door, wrenching it open, only for him to tumble into another girl who had been waiting outside.

  He scrambled off of the girl, recognising her to be Dawn, except - for some reason - she had huge boobs. I mean some serious honkers. A real set of badonkers. Packin’ some dobonhonkeros. Massive dohoonkabhankoloos. Big ol’ tonhongerekoogers.

  And before he could make a break for it, another girl spawned to surround him with the other three, as May gave a sultry smile, packing even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. Humongous hungolomghononoloughongous.

  Ash shuddered upon seeing their eyes, which glowed a terrifying pink as stylised hearts overtook their irises. Their breaths - despite it being the middle of Spring - came out in visible puffs that raised the hairs on his skin.

  Pikachu sneezed at the sheer amount of pheromones in the air.

  Ash knew he had to do something now , and desperately pointed a finger to the distance, “Wow, look! It’s Team Rocket!”

  Somehow - in what could only be described as a blessing - the pitiful distraction worked, and Ash darted towards the woods.

  He heard the girls yell in outrage behind him, but for as long as he’d known them, he was always the fastest runner. It didn’t take long for him to lose his pursuers, allowing him a small moment to catch his breath.

  Ash leaned against a boulder, giving a whispered apology to a Caterpie he startled earlier. He huffed an aggravated breath, and turned to Pikachu, who was also recovering from the fiasco, “What a day, right?”

  Pikachu growled at him, which quickly turned to a whimper as a girlish giggle echoed from behind them, “I don’t know about that , Ashy-poo~.”

  Ash turned, and instinctually took a step back as a positively feral Iris prowled towards him, her indigo hair wreathing her face in a mad spiral.

  Diluted eyes narrowed into draconic slits, and Iris’ teeth gleamed in a sharpened edge, “I’m gonna eat you up! ”

  Ash decided to make like his nonexistent father, and disappear, running back into the woods.

  Yet, despite his attempts to avoid it, women just continued to show up!

  A girl named Lillie - who he briefly remembered meeting in Alola; why the hell is she here - tried to throw herself at him.

  Jessie fell out of the sky at one point, and proceeded to profess her undying love for a boy who was half her age.

  Latias - the one he met once at Alto Mare - appeared in a flash, attempting to smother him in dragon kisses.

  Fucking Cynthia appeared out of nowhere, having apparently flown all the way from Sinnoh just to get in his pants.

  For hours, from sun-up to sun-down, Ash dodged the countless - countless - hoards of women throwing themselves at him.

  Numerous brawls broke out between them as they vied for his attention, which he gladly took advantage of to run back home and lock himself inside.

  Only once he was back in his room did the adrenaline fade, and Ash collapsed on his knees. Pikachu let out a pathetic moan and did the same, burrowing into his blanket for comfort.

  He stayed in that position for a while, simply… existing .

  It could’ve been minutes or hours later when his peace was finally broken, as his mother’s voice whispered from behind, “Oh, Ash! You’re home!”

  Ash jolted, a hysterical sense of relief surging through his veins.

  Surely, his mother would see how insane everyone was being!

  Ash smiled, and turned around with a grateful - manic - smile, “Mom-”

  His words cut off with a choke, and he turned away in an instant.

  There wasn’t enough bleach in the world to undo what he just saw.

  His mother began to advance from behind, and Red snapped his eyes onto Pikachu’s, “ Kill me. ”

  Pikachu, being the loyal partner he was, didn’t question the command, flooding the room with light - let there be light - as an arc of lightning pierced Red’s chest and-

  …

  Pokemon Center, Sandgem Town, Sinnoh, June 26nd, 1998

  Red gasped awake, sitting up quickly enough to hurt his back.

  He cursed across two languages, rolling onto his feet, accidentally sending Vee tumbling onto the floor.

  The poor girl startled awake, casting confused and bleary eyes to him as he began to pace, forcing any memory of that dream - that nightmare - into a box, locked away in the recesses of his mind.

  The imagination was a beautiful and terrible thing.

  Red sighed, leaning his head against the wall as he contemplated whether the murder of a legendary would be prosecutable by law.

  He was 80% sure that dream had come from either Arceus or Darkrai.

  He shook his head, dispelling the (admittedly pleasing) thoughts of murder aside to apologise to Vee, and then to the others, who had also woken up in the commotion.

  Only Pichu didn’t seem confused, bearing haunted eyes in a manner similar to Red’s own. They met each other’s eyes and turned away a moment later.

  Neither of them would speak of what they saw.

  It was better this way.

  sexual either.

  need to be shipped in my opinion, and oftentimes it feels forced when it’s in a fic. Unless Ash is explicitly out-of-character, none of the main ships make much sense to me.

  Her Rival ; other than that, Ash/Cynthia fics are pretty mid).

  And the Chariot ganked her in front of him, which didn’t help matters.

  idea of Salvare and Karen wanting to both be his friend.

  https://discord.gg/cUCpn2jGqR).