home

search

8. [Hentai Punch]

  Riley pumped his feet, struggling to run even faster. Behind him, a massive crocodile golem molded out of red clay and rock gnashed its jaws.

  It turns out breaking the very important Enslavement Collar of a powerful magician capable of summoning hell demons was a bad idea.

  Riley dashed through the streets of the town, many frogs stumbling back in fear. Which was fair, as Riley proceeded to chop them into tiny pieces with his Funky Axe.

  Riley quickly tossed all his free points into Dexterity, covering that would help him escape. Unlike his useless stats like Cuteness and… *shudder* Wisdom.

  Though, all the dancing was starting to get on his nerves.

  Riley felt that this curse probably would have led to him doing the tango or something, but Riley didn’t know any dances except the Macarena. So Riley was forced to do the Macarena. While swinging an axe made of bone, wrapped in human leather, and massive eye with a red sclera staring into his soul.

  Unfortunately, it seemed that the rock-croc was catching up at a rapid pace, and Riley was going to need a faster method of transportation. This was despite his current absurd Dexterity.

  “Haha! Fuck you,” cried Michael, the root of all evil. “I’ll fucking kill you! *ribbit*.”

  Gotta get away and get more levels. Riley eyed a frog that was walking with a pail of water, in which a tadpole swam lazy circles.

  “Mommy… Mama, a girl behind you,” croaked the tadpole.

  The mother frog turned to see Riley in midair, swinging his axe with malice in his eyes.

  Aw yeah, it’s level grinding time. Riley grinned as he sprinted full speed while simultaneously doing the Macarena.

  The Funky Axe’s red eye stared at Riley in horror as if reprimanding him for the slaughter of an innocent parent and child.

  “Hey, you’re the cursed axe. The blood is on your hands! Or, I guess, on your blade. Literally.”

  In quick succession, Riley summarily executed a couple more “innocent civilians.”

  A new skill? Riley planned to check it out, right after putting two points in Strength… only to find he couldn’t. One point had been automatically assigned to Wisdom, as it seemed that otherwise Riley’s Wisdom would have hit zero. Oh well, Riley put his one free point in Strength.

  Now to see about that new skill…

  Analyze.

  Hmm? Wait, that last one is…? Strength to the power of Cuteness?!

  Riley, though, delayed choosing the last one. Sure, it was obviously the best one there, but… really, yelling HENTAI?

  He continued running downhill, snagging a meat skewer from a nearby stall. The stall owner ribbited some expletive before being crushed beneath the bulk of the Rockodile.

  Riley turned to face the beast. Now that he got a good look at it, he got an idea of how massive the monster really was.

  Its size was probably measured in miles or acres. It was so massive, its legs seemed to sustain injuries from bearing its own weight. Cracks continuously spread throughout its body, breaking and fixing, injuring and healing in a constant cycle. Whenever a crack opened up, steam would burst out, magma dribbling out.

  And Riley was going to defeat that thing?

  Hell yeah.

  Riley raised the skewer to his mouth. It was a beautiful thing, chunks of meat browned to perfection with a warm glaze dribbling down it. He moved to take a bite, when the meat flew off the skewer. Frowning, Riley stared at the escaping snack as it seemed to… uncook itself, the sauce melting off. As Riley stared, he saw… Ala?

  “Whew, nice save there. You’re really perceptive to notice me, even after I got cooked! I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Ala shuddered. “Being turned into shawarma is one of the worst fates you can have. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

  Riley simply stared down at his empty skewer. That perfect shawarma… stolen from him. His breath came in short, fast gasps. Instinctually, Riley knew that this moment would become fuel for Never Forget for a very long time.

  Riley selected [Hentai Punch].

Recommended Popular Novels