The ride back to Caer Sidi was a silent one. The guards stayed well back after Khan caught up with us, though none of the horses spooked at the great cat's presence or the smell of fresh blood where his front legs and muzzle had been dyed a deep red by his work. I could torture a person for information or mangle them to deliver a message but not happily and it always gave me nightmares, Khan was more pragmatic about it if he viewed something as a necessity then that was all there was to the matter, he did the deed and moved on to the next task. It was a cold blooded and possibly sociopathic way of dealing with life but it worked for him. At least he wasn’t out killing people for amusement or eating babies.
We left the horses with an innocuous looking stable hand and followed Arianrhod through the front doors of the central keep and through several polished granite hallways. Like the outside, the inside was designed for function and not appearance. Although a strip of carpet had been laid down and tapestries had been hung along the wall. We finally entered what could only be the grand hall. Crystals in the ceiling took in and refracted the light back across the pristine white walls creating a miniature version of the aurora borealis, or quite possibly it was a reflection of the actual aurora given where I was. At the far end beyond a breathtaking banquet table carved with trees and birds was a silver throne adorned only by a sheet of white wool across the seat. Arianrhod took the seat at the head of the table and gestured to the chair beside her.
“Please sit. Food should be ready soon and we can pass the time in pleasant conversation while we wait.” I made a small show of taking off my coat and sword belt and setting them both on the table beside the seat where the sword would be easy to reach. Arianrhod had been polite so far but I would be foolish to let her think I was complacent or felt safe. Of course, I didn't feel either of those things and I don't like to be in a position where my weapons are hard to reach when I'm in hostile territory.
“I appreciate the offer. Will Jackual be joining us or have your attendants already found a room for him?”
“The guardsmen gave him a bed in the barracks to rest. I'd just as soon not trust him around my handmaidens.”
“Understandable, I love the child as much as any of my kin but that would be as wise as trusting a fox in your henhouse. I know it’s customary to wait till after a meal, my host, but time may be short and while I fed a considerable amount during the battle most of the energy was expended at the time and nothing is a substitute for true sleep after that form of work. Will you excuse my poor manners and allow me to discuss business while we eat?” I watched as the first of the servants brought in pitchers and two cups for us along with what looked like a beaten gold bowl for Khan and a set of washcloths.
“I suppose this once we can forego proper manners, Cathal. After all my cousin began it by sending you to me without warning first. Gwynn ap Nudd has requested that, provided you are willing, I help ease your process of recalling the past as well as speed it up a bit. The cost he claims will be shouldered by him alone. He simply does not wish to try bargaining with someone whose memory of the pact won't last long.” I nodded in understanding and waved for her to continue.
A young man wearing loose fit leather pants and a white tunic with gold embroidery along the edges stomped his foot to announce himself before stepping up beside me on my right side and pouring a chalice of something sweet smelling that had a vaguely amber color.
“It’s a valid concern and while I would normally be willing to accept the word of someone like the Lord of Arawnn on such a thing I doubt I’d be here if he could do it himself. Which means, that he has only partial or no control of the cost. I also have concerns about the method that would be used to accomplish such a thing. I’m by no means a fool and while I may not have full access to the memories of my past lives I am quite capable of understanding that doing what he’s proposing would be hazardous at best without some form of tool or artifact. Which means even as the one performing the task you wouldn’t have the final say in who pays any cost that may arise.”
“You would be right in the need of a powerful aid, and the cost can be great for some. You will have to face your past alone. Do you remember what I was before the Goddess of Reincarnation and Karma, or why of all the Celtic deities with lands of their own my realm sits closest to earth? Closer even then Arawnn where the souls of our dead followers go.”
I cast about in my memory for a few moments before glancing at Khan who was trying to be tolerant of the servants that were using warm water and towels to clean the blood out of his fur. I’d like to say they were doing a decent job but his fur was still red and turning pink where blood hadn’t been while the water they had brought to clean him was already crimson. His eyes were closed and there was a sense of resignation from him that told me he was too busy trying not to snap at the well-meaning attendants to be helpful. I finally shook my head.
“I began as the patron of crafts, spinning, weaving, painting and other such things. However, I was entrusted by the Guild of Life Makers to safeguard a soul vault, overtime the responsibility took too much time and others took over my roles. I was left only with the one task. I established my home here and built Caer Sidi around it. When the Irish and then the Scots invaded and pushed back the Cymru they adopted the worship of me, but took to naming the place after me.” I thought about that for a moment, if she actually had access to a soul vault that could change things, I didn’t really know much about the things or even where they came from. I was also reasonably certain the only person that did know more than minor details about them had long since cut themselves out of the cycle of reincarnation.
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Soul vaults are essentially automated collectors for the Akashic Archive. When something died, its spirit was supposed to be drawn to the nearest soul vault and all of its life experience was recorded and put into the Archives. From the first conscious moment to death, every memory and bit of knowledge committed to a perfect and incorruptible archive that was so jealously guarded it made getting into Fort Knox look like a stroll down Main Street. Aside from those devoted to religions that had a land or lands of death and a few rare and exceptional exceptions most souls stayed in the soul vaults until they had found a new life and were reincarnated. Something like that would certainly give Arianrhod the power necessary for what she proposed.
“Khan I realize you’re busy being pampered but I would appreciate your opinions on this matter.”
“I can only offer you so much advice, Cathal. You know as much as I about the soul vaults and that when dealing with something so old and powerful the cost can be hard to predict. I have no doubt that Gwynn will pay whatever price our fair host requires of us for the favor but the vault may well have a mind of its own and demand a price that you yourself must pay. However, I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t be beneficial if you could remember enough of your business for me to attend to matters elsewhere whilst you do things without needing me to be your shadow.”
I settled back in my chair and sipped at the wine in my cup as I thought about it. I’d spent a lot of time trying to pry free my old memories since I’d first started remembering my past. I had made more enemies than I had allies, in what seemed like an endless progression of millennia, I could only recall a handful of friends and allies by comparison, and it seemed like I made enemies more frequently than I ate meals. I had more knowledge locked away in my memory than the human race had accumulated and forgotten. More than that though was a simple need to KNOW. I remembered doing things that I hated to think I was capable of and I held some dim hope that there was some memory locked away that would let me find some way to forgive myself. More than being able to remember who my enemies were, or help me find peace of mind, my old memories might hold the key to controlling not just my abilities by the instincts that came with my innate natures.
“Alright Arianrhod, I’ll take the deal. When can we do this?”
“I’ll send for you in the morning after I’ve had time to prepare. In the meantime, I’ll arrange for someone to show you to a guest room. Feel free to avail yourself of my hospitality. I like you like this you know, I’m as fond of good manners as any of my kin but you used to be so stuffy when it came to politics it was almost unbearable.” I nodded and stood as she did before sitting back down and a plate of roasted meat and some kind of glazed vegetables was set down in front of me, drawing a slight gurgle of hunger from my stomach. I picked up the knife and fork and settled in to eat. Tomorrow would bring a new day and I didn’t want to face my past on an empty stomach.
I ate quietly focusing on the motions of eating to calm the thoughts spinning through my mind. Despite Pop Culture’s attempts to make vampires and were-creatures seem attractive it’s not always glamorous in the twentieth century. I can barely look at a person without thinking of them as food on some level of my mind. I have to fight the urge to chase, tackle, and eat anyone that runs past me on the street, and that’s just accounting for the instincts I shared with Khan because of our close bond. I also had an insatiable hunger for living energy from my vampiric nature and the empathy that was entwined with it meant going into a room with more than two people necessitated resisting the urge to drain the life out of someone while at the same time trying to keep my emotions separated enough to keep from drowning in other people’s emotions and acting psychotic. I also had to worry about dropping room temperatures noticeably and on bad days when my emotions are running high, I’ve caused storms of my own when I lost control.
“If you’re done with your meal sir, my mistress has instructed me to guide you to your rooms and see to your needs for the night.” The young woman who spoke approached when I finished my meal and curtsied low enough that I idly wondered if she was employing her own form of magic to avoid falling over.
Unlike the more conservative dress of the male servants her attire was loose fit and while covering, the white fabric with its delicate golden embroidery was sheer enough that you could see the freckles across her shoulders and upper chest even through her shift. Unlike most of Arianrhod’s servants her waist length braid of hair was a midnight black and she had a sleek athletic figure and a bearing both in her posture and her features that suggested she was less docile than most of the goddesses’ handmaidens. Which also suggested that my host had chosen her for the duty knowing my preference in women. I sighed inwardly and tried not to show my distaste for the old practice.
“Show me to my chambers for the night that’s all.”
“As you wish my lord, shall I send for another of the handmaidens to see to your needs then? I’m sure we can find someone more to your liking if I don’t suit you.”
“Don’t call me ‘lord’, any claim I may have had to a title I either renounced or lost through misdeeds long before you were born. And don’t worry even when such practices were common, I wasn’t the sort to accept such offers. I have nothing against you and under other circumstances I’m sure you’re the type of woman I would be interested in, but I’m not the type to take a woman to my bed when I’ve just met her. Besides I’m sure you would rather spend the night doing something other than keeping a stranger’s bed warm. Simply show myself and Khan to our chambers for the night. I’ll tell your mistress that you fulfilled your duties admirably if asked and let her draw her own conclusion.”
“Thank you. If you’ll follow me, your chambers have been prepared.”
