"My father wanted me to adopt a pet, so I got a falcon," said the princess.

  "Falconry is a proud and ancient tradition. I agree with your father; a pet would be good for you," replied the dragon therapist.

  "I named him Ornithophobia, the suitor slayer," the princess said, her voice dripping with mischievous delight.

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  "Let's play a game of word association," said the dragon. "You respond with the first word that comes to mind. Ready?"

  "King." / "Asshole"

  "Prince" / "Assholes"

  "Marriage" / "Fuck that"

  "Authority" / "Fuck that shit"

  "Dragon" / "Tasty"

  The dragon looked at the smug Princess and said, "I told my colleagues this was a bad idea."