Chapter 17

  Crowncourt was abuzz with activity.

  Oh, it was still ruined, with the fey-tinged nature having long since reclaimed it. Trees grew from within ruined houses, the cathedral's spires were wrapped in greenery, and the jetties on the mighty Crown River had long since rotten away to nothing. But amidst the shattered remains of the primarily human civilisation a dizzying variety of fey creatures had taken up residence. Satyr and fey elves and grumpkins and hags and snarks and trolls and pixies and dryads and wisps and nymphs, dancing and cavorting and singing and cheering and playing and feasting in an explosion of energy and emotion.

  If one didn't look too hard, it would seem like a great festival, a joyous and wonderful occasion. But then you looked closer, and spotted the warehouse full of cages in which dirty, emaciated mortals were being kept, and that amidst the fruit and wine was cooked meat on the bone that looked… the wrong shape to have come from a cow or a pig or a sheep, and that some of the fey were cheering from rooftops looking down on pairs of bloodied and manacled mortals armed with knives being forced to fight for their amusement.

  The Shadowmeere might have been the dark reflection of the Feywilde, but the Feywilde was dark in its own way.

  "Captain this… I don't like this…" whispered Heidi. "Can we- can we help them?"

  "Maybe… I don't know," said Adeena. "These are very powerful and capricious beings. We'll do our best, but we need to make it out of here alive too."

  Heidi gulped and nodded.

  "Heidi, that stuff you said, with the Pale Lady," said Adeena.

  "Oh, um, it's silly-"

  "Not in the way you think it is," said Adeena, squeezing the gnome's shoulder. "You've done exceptionally well, you know. Not sure I've ever had a fresh recruit as good as you. I'd bet good money that your parents are very proud." She gave Heidi a lopsided smile. "And I rarely make bad bets."

  Heidi beamed, and stood a bit taller. "Really, Captain?"

  "Really," nodded Adeena. "So, eyes sharp."

  They passed deeper into the city, approaching what had once had been the city's green – where they'd hosted festivals and feasts and the like. There, there were even more fey cavorting and dancing and, sat on a huge throne of crystal overlooking it all, an incredibly large woman, wearing what looked like a toga of living butterflies. Her eyes were without whites entirely, and like her hair shifted through an ever changing iridescent rainbow. She had vagely elvish features, although like the fey-elves, massive deer-like antlers, between which sat a tiara with a glistening gem which shone like the bands of the Allfather during the Dreaming – the central phase of the cycle, directly after the rapidly approaching Waxing. This was the Queen of Dreaming, an arch fey of God-like power.

  The twins led Adeena and the others across the green, drawing the attention of many of the revellers and quieting the twisted festivities.

  "My Queen, we beg but a moment of your time," said the sister, bowing her head. "Although we fear it is a matter trivial for one so sublime."

  It seemed they'd recovered and resumed their annoying rhyming ways.

  "These mortals two, and fey and hellspawn," said the brother. "Believe they have a matter of some concern."

  "Illirio, Illiria," said the Queen, casting her glowing, ever shifting eyes over Adeena and the others. "You are not the kind to bring me live game."

  "Alas, my queen, it pains us dearly," said the sister.

  "For they bested us in riddles severely," said the brother. "And requested that we bring you forth."

  "So they may… err," said the sister, glaring at her brother. "Speak with you henceforth?"

  The Queen rolled her eyes. "Begone then, your task is done," she said, waving a hand and turning her attention to the party. "Well then, my eclectic friends, what brings you to my court? Perhaps you've come for tea?"

  "We'd rather not be eaten, thanks," said Adeena.

  "Oh, humbug," said the Queen with a huff. "I do hate the cautious ones. What is it then? Spit it out!"

  "We have come to request you cease driving wild fey towards Meowlington," said Adeena.

  "Request?" she sneered. "And who are you to make requests of me, little devil? I should have you flayed for the sheer impertinence!"

  Adeena cleared her throat. It was a card she hated invoking. She had always despised monarchies, even back when she had barely understood what they were. It was what had caused her to throw in her lot with the peasant revolt at Huxbridge. A deep, instinctual distrust of authority, particularly utterly unearned authority.

  Which was itself deeply ironic, considering what she was. However, royals, no matter the plane, loved pomp and titles, and it seemed she was in desperate need of some standing in the eyes of the fey Queen.

  "I am Princess Adeena Yassin," said Adeena, clearing her throat and reaching up to take off her glasses. "Daughter of Queen Amestris Yassin of Pandemonium."

  Heidi gasped. "Wow, really!?" she said in a stage whisper. "Oh, um, sorry."

  "Infernal Royalty!" said the Queen with interest, sitting forward. "Well, why didn't you say so!? I would have rolled out the red carpet, Princess!"

  Pandemonium didn't actually have royalty in the same way that humans or elves did. The position of 'Queen' was entirely based on who was the richest and most powerful demonesss in the hells – and it was always a queen in the matriarchal society of Pandemonium.

  Her mother had been Queen when she'd run away, and Adeena couldn't really imagine her losing the title. She was a vicious and brutal businesswoman who had crushed, consolidated, or taken over a good third of all the Houses in Pandemonium and brought the others into her orbit.

  Adeena put away her glasses, fiddling with her hair where it fell strangely around her small horns. She'd worn her glamour for most of her life, sometimes even when sleeping out in the field. She didn't really feel like herself without it – even though most of her features remained the same she got a sense of dysphoria when looking in a mirror when instead of seeing a green eyed half-elf, she saw a red-eyed, arrow-headed-tailed cambion.

  "Queen of the Dreaming," said Adeena. "I have been asked by the grimalkin of Meowlington-"

  "The Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Meowlington!" hissed Clawdia. "Must use proper name here!"

  "The… 'Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Meowlington,'" continued Adeena. She wasn't entirely sure what an 'Anarcho-Syndicalist' was, but decided to just roll with it. "To broker some kind of peace."

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  "Peace? But we have peace," said the Queen of Dreaming with a fanged smile. "None of my court may approach the town while that infuriating upstart, their 'Professor,' possesses that ring she crafted."

  "And the Wild Fey your hunters drive towards it?" asked Adeena. "Surely that is merely war by proxy."

  "I suppose I could be convinced to rein in my hunters," said the Queen of Dreaming idly. "For a price. If the towns denizens simply kneel to me, I would have no reason to attack them."

  "No!" hissed Clawdia. "Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Meowlington will never kneel to Dreaming Court! We will never join the court!"

  The Queen of Dreaming wrinkled her nose at the grimalkin sorceress. "Princess," she said. "I am sure one of your station would know of the Eternal Conflict? Dreaming against Night?"

  "Yes…" said Adeena cautiously.

  "It is almost in our natures, my sister and I, to be in perfect balance against one another," said the Queen of Dreaming. "For our courts to cancel one another out. We both seek out advantages, but it is difficult in a realm such as this. I had hoped for Meowlington to be such an advantage. Despite their… passive nature, the grimalkin have many skilled sorcerers.

  "If you would deny me one advantage, then I must demand a suitable replacement. Perhaps your illustrious House could provide me with soldiers?" said the Queen. "I have a whole host of mortals I could rip the souls from."

  "I… do not have the capacity to promise such things," said Adeena carefully. "My mother and I… do not see eye to eye."

  The Queen of Dreaming laughed. "I see," she said. "Fear not, I am familiar with difficult family dynamics. Very well then, what of your group's services?"

  "I will not pledge myself to your court," said Adeena.

  "Oh no, naturally, naturally, it would be but a temporary agreement – a hiring, we could even use one of those delightful contracts your kind loves so!" said the Queen. "A 'mission' to undertake, to tip the scales of the battle in my favour."

  "A mission?" said Adeena.

  "Yes," said the Queen, reaching into her gown of shifting butterflies and taking out an acorn. "Simple – all I wish from you is to plant this in the court of my sister, the Queen of Long Night. In exchange, I and my court will cease and abstain from all attacks, both direct and indirect upon the 'Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Meowlington' in perpetuity."

  Adeena parsed the woman's words a few times, looking for any traps with the instinct imparted by her infernal heritage. She didn't spot anything major, although there was a loophole on her end…

  "That could be acceptable, but I do not know where your sister's court is," said Adeena.

  "Oh, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem for someone of your talents," said the Queen, reaching up and pulling a single iridescent hair from her head. "Using this as an anchor for one of your 'translocation rituals.' We are sisters, after all."

  Adeena's hackles rose. That was possible, fairly easy even, she'd gone to the best infernal boarding house in Pandemonium, but there was a reason that she had never used that ability since fleeing Pandemonium as a young teen.

  Pandemonium, or 'the Hells' as it was sometimes called, was unique in the planes in that it was incredibly easy to transit from it to a point in another Plane – provided you had some idea where you were going. Likewise, moving to Pandemonium was easy, and even after over a thousand cycles Adeena knew she could draw the necessary pentagram to take her and a small group there in a handful of minutes.

  If it had been a matter of hopping there and then instantly hopping away, she probably wouldn't have thought too much of its occasional use. But there was a fixed minimum time between the use of infernal translocation, due to some kind of mystic 'charge' that built up and needed to dissipate first: six hours, six minutes, and six seconds. At an absolute minimum.

  Which would mean remaining in the hells for six hours there, six hours in the vicinity of the Winter Court, and six hours on the way back.

  "Do you… have any other jobs?" asked Adeena. "Something closer, perhaps?"

  "No," said the Queen boredly, tossing the acorn to Adeena, who fumbled to catch it. "That is my offer, take it or leave it."

  Adeena flexed her jaw and looked at her party.

  "That something you can do, Captain?" said Xavier.

  "Yes, but it will involve a trance and a half stopovers in the hells," said Adeena.

  "Oh… is that bad?" said Heidi.

  "Yeah, that's bad," said Xavier.

  "We must save Meowlington!" said Clawdia, crossing her arms. "The Captain Adeena Yassin, we are invoking our favour."

  Adeena started.

  She had, back when she'd 'recruited' Clawdia some thirteen hundred cycles beforehand, promised a single favour to the grimalkin. She could refuse, it had been verbal, not contractual, and she was not a fey, but that would certainly mean the sorceress leaving her company. It had been so incredibly long ago that Adeena had almost forgotten about it. Clawdia, however, clearly hadn't, and had been saving it… seemingly specifically for this. Or something like this? Maybe. Clawdia never really struck anyone as the scheming type, but Adeena knew that despite her weirdness she was very clever.

  "Well… OK," said Adeena weakly, looking down at the acorn. "I guess we're going to Pandemonium, then." She cleared her throat and turned back to the Queen. "This acorn, what does it do?"

  "Oh, nothing destructive, if that's what you mean," said the Queen. "It will merely grow into a tree, through which I can spy on my sister's court. A small finger on the scales, nothing more."

  Adeena pocketed it, and glanced back over the festival, back towards the warehouse full of miserable mortals.

  "I also want the mortals to be let go," she said. "And for you to stop hunting and eating them."

  The Queen of Dreaming hissed. "You go too far, Princess," she said. "I have tolerated you to this point, indulged you even, but I will not add such a thing to our deal. Take my offer, or leave. Now."

  Adeena closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It didn't seem she was going to be saving them that way. She considered for a moment, but there might be another way…

  "I'll need a moment to draw up the contract," said Adeena.

  Adeena was, like all those of infernal heritage, very good at writing contracts, and had the ability to make reality bend to enforce them. Generally, she didn't abuse this. Despite what most demons thought, constantly taking advantage of their contractual powers wasn't actually a sound long term plan – since, obviously, you very rapidly developed a reputation as being a bad person to sign contracts with. So, for the most part, Adeena either studiously avoided writing contracts that gave her all sorts of hidden benefits, or didn't invoke clauses unless she absolutely had to.

  This time, however, she wrote a contract that would have made her mother proud. Oh, on the surface it was innocuous, with only a single additional clause:

  'Appendix 1: All members of the organisation known as "Yassin's Irregulars" will be granted and guaranteed by the Queen of Dreaming, her court, and all those within her power, explicit, swift and safe passage from the Court of Dreaming to the Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune of Meowlington after the completion of the aforementioned task given by the Queen of the Dreaming to Princess Adeena Yassin of Pandemonium.'

  The Queen read the contract rather boredly, and although she was a powerful and devious fey, failed to spot the trap that Adeena had laid, signing the contract and binding herself to it. Adeena signed her name after the Queens, and had to work very hard to suppress the urge to cackle demonically.

  Assuming they survived Pandemonium, then the Court of Night, and Pandemonium again, the Queen of Dreaming was in for a nasty surprise.

  The thought sobered her somewhat, and her mirth faded as she began to burn a hellish pentagram into the grass at the edge of the city's common.

  "Are you sure this is a good idea?" said Heidi.

  "No, this is a terrible idea," said Adeena. "But Clawdia invoked her favour, and this is the only way we can help Meowlington and…" Adeena glanced around surreptitiously. "And the others."

  "Huh?" said Heidi.

  Xavier laughed. "Word of advice, Heidi: never play cards with the Captain," he said. "She's – literally – a demon."

  Heidi frowned, but said nothing.

  Adeena finished burning the pentagram and stood back cracking her knuckles before drawing on power she hadn't touched in over an epic cycle.

  "Alright, everyone in one of the triangles," said Adeena, moving into the pentagon in the centre. "Arms and legs inside if you want to keep them."

  She double checked that the others were all in the pentagram, before splaying her palm in front of her and beginning to chant in harsh Pandemonese. She felt her blood begin to heat as the long dormant infernal elements stirred into waking, the glow coming from her eyes built, and she felt her hellish features growing more pronounced – horns extending, canine teeth lengthening, and fingernails sharpening as beneath her skin her veins began to pulse with green power.

  The pentegram lit up and began to glow a lurid lime, erupting into viridian fire and filling the sweet smelling air with the harsh tang of brimstone. The fire grew in intensity, roaring and billowing higher until it entirely obscured the Feywilde around them.

  There was a brief lurching sensation, a feeling of falling, and then the fire vanished to reveal the unfortunately familiar beige walls, brown carpet, and harsh lighting that her people loved so much.

  "Welcome to the Pandemonium Arrivals Lounge, please make your way off the transit pad," said a bored looking imp in a brown suit with a name-tag that said 'Hello! My name is: Darius Soulflayer,' who was sitting on a stool and staring at the wall. "While you're here, why not visit our gift shop? Get 10 percent off with the code-phrase 'Interplanar travel is my jam!'"

  Home. For the first time in one thousand, four hundred cycles, she was home.

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