"Why are we here?"
"I told you. I need to put more food in the house. Especially with you coming over tonight." Lorel paused. "You're sure your dad won't mind?"
"Yes. He'd be worried if it was somewhere else, but it's your place. It's fine." That made sense. Loch had spent many nights under their roof- too many to keep track of.
"And you're sure you don't want to be there for him?"
His jaw set. "I'm sure."
Lorel leaned, making a show of inspecting his friend's face. "And everything is okay at home?"
Loch stepped away, nodding insistently. "Yes. Dad's just... On edge."
"Can you blame him?"
"Of course not. It's not about that."
"Wait." Lorel stepped through the doors as they opened, turning to stop Loch from doing the same with one outstretched hand. "Are you sure this is a conversation you want to have? Or one that you can even have in the first place?"
His friend's brow furrowed. "It's a bit late to be saying that, isn't it?"
"... Maybe a bit."
He shook his head as he stepped past Lorel. "It doesn't matter anymore. You figured it out. I already told Sela and Arel. I asked them not to tell anyone, but it doesn't really matter."
"Mmm." Lorel dropped his hand, stepping backwards so that he was just a pace ahead of Loch. "And what about all the other people here?" The first floor, as always, was busy. No surprise there- the shelves were never empty, regardless of how many people swarmed them.
Really, the building was more depot, or even repository than any sort of store. It was broken into twenty different segments, each consisting of six floors in total. Five of those housed every imaginable item from one of the food groups, while the sixth was home to beverages and condiments. Each individual floor was capable of holding nearly five thousand people, and their city housed six of them.
As for their size? All for simplicity's sake. Make them too small, and they crowded far too quickly. So the solution? Just oversize them. There were almost certainly far more efficient solutions, but this was the easiest. And it worked. The lower segments were always crowded, but the upper ones were always nearly empty. Going up and down was certainly a bit of a hassle, but that was the price to pay for quiet.
"It's not like anyone's going to listen in on us," Loch pointed out. "We're just two friends getting groceries. And again, it doesn't really matter. The whole planet will know by tonight." Despite that claim, he remained silent in the elevator, among the two strangers that joined them.
The first disembarked at the thirteenth floor, and the second on the twenty-third. They rode in silence all the way up to the forty-second floor.
"I assume there are other people who know." Lorel said as he stepped out. "Sorry. If you don't want to talk-"
Loch shook his head. "It's fine. Like you said, it's not like it'll change anything." The door shut behind him. "And yes, there are other people who know. Mostly military. The governors of other cities. Off-world diplomats. Some news outlets, too. They'll help disseminate the information after the broadcast."
"Broadcast?"
"Yes. This evening."
"Unannounced?"
Another nod. "Everyone has a holo-watch. The news will get out in one way or another. No one will be able to avoid it, even if they don't see the live recording."
"I guess that's true," Lorel mused, reaching up to grab a slab of beef. "I don't suppose you have a bag in that thing, do you?"
"I do, actually." Loch procured a folded canvas one from his leather briefcase.
"Nice."
"What were you going to do if I didn't have one?"
"I'm not getting a whole lot of stuff." Lorel took the bag from him, setting the beef in its bottom before retrieving a carton of broth from another shelf. "Just this and some veggies. Maybe some noodles. We would've been able to carry it."
"Noodles?"
"Something Lani showed me."
"You've been getting lessons from her?"
"Yeah. Just simple stuff for now, though. She refuses to teach me her breakfast recipes."
The ghost of a smile showed on Loch's lips- but only for a brief second. "Has to keep you coming back somehow?"
"So she says. It's not like I'd stop going all of a sudden."
He followed Lorel back to the elevator. Now, with no one else there, he seemed to have no qualms about continuing their conversations in the enclosed space. "Is that it? I thought you'd have more questions."
"Hmm." Lorel hoisted the bag over his shoulder before stepping out. This floor, just like the one before it, was nearly empty. As a matter of fact, the only other person present was currently on their way out. "Not really. I imagine there'll be more information soon, anyways. What about Sela and Arel? I'm sure they had questions."
"I told them I couldn't answer any questions."
He turned to look at Loch, one eyebrow raised. "You just dropped that on their heads and then told them not to ask any questions? That's kind of messed up, isn't it?"
"Er..."
"You didn't think of that, did you?"
He shook his head. "I didn't."
"Ah, well. You said you'd rather they hear it from you, right?"
A nod, this time.
"Then they'll understand." Neither of them were the type to hold grudges. And, perhaps more importantly, they understood-and appreciated his position. Privy to the secrets of their home, yet unable to really confide in them. It was something that tormented Loch; and something their long friendship with Sela and Arel had done much to assuage. He was grateful for that.
But as far as Lorel knew, he was one of only two true confidants- the other being his father.
"It's like they said. I've known you longer." Loch paused. "And besides," he added, his voice dropping an entire octave. "Talking helps. It's been... An interesting morning."
Lorel pulled a packet of assorted vegetables down before responding. "Honored as I am to have your confidence, I don't really have many questions." He paused. "Does this mean your plan to get off-planet is on pause?"
His friend nodded. "Every option I was looking at just... Dried up. We won't feel it much down here, but security's going to get tighter." He sighed. "The issue isn't getting off-planet, the problem is existing afterwards."
"You make that sound so needlessly morbid."
Loch shrugged. "I don't know how else to say it. The means to live are all tied behind identity. If I can't do that, I might as well be dead."
"I see." He set it in the bag. "Is that why you were talking to Svyke?"
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"Yes. I meant to tell you, I just-"
"It doesn't matter."
"Why not?"
"Same thing as you. I trust you. No matter what I say, it all goes back to that. And if I know about Svyke, I'm sure you do, too." The spy had no real sense of loyalty; it just so happened that Torrent's pockets were exceptionally deep. Even if not necessarily monetarily, Coral always made for a good bartering commodity. "I'm sure you have a good reason."
"And if I don't?"
"Then you probably just think you don't."
"Hmm..."
"If you want to talk, talk. I'm all ears."
"I already talked to Sita about it."
"And?"
"I want to leave this planet someday."
"I see."
"You don't sound terribly surprised."
"Because I'm not."
"Why not?"
"You always seemed enraptured by Lani's stories. And besides," Lorel snorted, "I've known you basically my whole life. I might not have really consciously thought it, but I'm not surprised. This planet was always too small for you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're smarter than me. You have more ambition. As long as I'm underwater, I'm happy. I could stay here my whole life and be content. I think you do truly love it here- you've said as much, but it's the sort of love that you want to come back to, right? Not spend your entire life experiencing. And even then," he tilted his head, "sometimes you look like a bird in a cage. I get it. There's a whole universe out there. Just the idea of it is enthralling. I'm probably the odd one out for not being enraptured by it."
Loch audibly sighed, lowering his head in an exaggerated manner. "Why do you always manage to throw all my worries out the window so effortlessly?"
"Because!" Lorel smacked his shoulder. "That's what friends are for."
"Right."
"So? Are you still looking for a way to get off-planet?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Wouldn't you be mad if I just up and left you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Hey. That's my question."
Loch frowned. "It almost sounds like you want me to leave."
"Now who's twisting whose words?"
A slight smile replaced it. "I learned from the best."
"Uh huh." Lorel guided them towards an elevator for the third time, keying in the first floor. What they already had was more than enough for the three of them. "I asked first." Just like before, they were the only two present.
"Hm..." Loch's features took on his ever-present expression of consideration as the doors closed. "Lots of reasons. For one, it's just improbable. I'd be better off devoting my time and energy to something else."
"And for two?" That couldn't have been the only reason. Even if he championed that sort of rational thinking, he was more than willing to devote time and energy to his goals.
"I have things I want to protect here," he answered, voice deadly quiet. "You. Dad. Sela and Arel. It's like you said. I do love it here. I want to protect that, too. And..." Loch trailed off as the doors slid open, revealing the horde of other people. He remained silent until they departed the building.
Neither bothered stopping as they stepped outside. There was no need to; the holo-watch would take care of it. And as for money, well. Lorel had long since started saving every bit of money he made selling Coral. A practice that, apparently, had proven pragmatic. "Well then?" He asked, once their pace had taken them a few meters away. "Go on."
"It's really selfish."
"So? People are selfish. Spill."
"Either way, I'll get what I want." Loch's voice turned somber. "Our nation's fate has always been a foregone conclusion. We lose, eventually. Someone else takes over. Opens the planet to the rest of the universe. Does all the things we couldn't do." A note of bitterness crept into his voice. "It's ironic. We'll fight in the name of freedom, but everyone here will have much more after our home falls."
"Wow. That's a lot to unpack."
"Sorry."
"Hey. You know I'm not looking for an apology."
"You're taking this awfully well."
"They tell us as much, you know." Their curriculum had never once shied away from speaking of their planet's precarious position. It was an acknowledgement; a promise, of sorts. Cruel, perhaps, but it served as motivation for those with a strong enough desire to leave the planet. "It's just our luck that it happened during our lifetime."
"Do you ever feel like you've been brainwashed?"
"Hm..." Lorel took a moment to think about it. "Not really." He turned around to look at his friend. "Isn't the fact you're considering that proof you haven't been?"
"Not in the slightest," Loch answered dryly. "Do you think people who were brainwashed were aware of the brainwashing?"
"I guess not."
"And there you have it." He stopped walking. "It's not that I think I've been brainwashed, it's just... Weird. Isn't it?"
"There are lots of weird things. You and me included. Which one are you talking about now?"
"That so many people here are willing to fight a hopeless war." His expression grew impossibly complicated; a dense mixture of curiosity, fear, and anticipation. "And that I am, too. Is freedom worth that? And can it really be called freedom if it chains us to a single planet?"
Lorel arched one eyebrow. "You're asking the wrong person. You know that, right?"
"That's why I'm asking you."
He took another moment to think. "I think it's simpler than that."
"Meaning?"
He raised his hand before responding, grasping a handful of the invisible stars that dotted the sky above. "Think of all we could be, if we weren't stifled at every turn. I think it's basic human instinct to struggle against that sort of thing."
Loch shook his head. "Sometimes you say the most profound things so casually."
"It's really not that complicated."
"If you say so." He resumed his pace. "So? What about my question?"
"What was it, again?"
"Why wouldn't you be mad if I left?"
Lorel lightly kicked his shin as he passed. "Because I'm your friend. It would make you happier. What sort of friend would be mad at you for chasing happiness?"
"That's it?"
He turned, matching the other boy's pace. "That's it. I'm simple, remember? It's why you and I make such a great pair."
"Uh huh." Loch's voice quieted again. "I wonder how I'll feel tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after..." He sighed. "I feel bad for Arel. Just a little more time, and she would've made it."
"She's like you, though. Her desire to leave has more to do with being fascinated by the thought of the universe beyond. I don't think she'll mind too much."
"That's true," he admitted. "Still. I worry."
"You know her proficiency is around the same as ours, right?"
He nodded. "Right. You were on the same floor." They were assigned to a new floor every quarter; often in a facility different from the last.
"You never asked her about it?"
"I never really felt the need to."
"Shame. I'm sure you would have enjoyed hearing about how she threw me."
The disbelief on his face was clear. "She threw you?"
"Sure did."
"Why?"
"Because I refused to practice with her at first. She didn't enjoy being treated like a glass statue. The throw was meant to prove her point."
"Did it?"
"Yes."
"And afterwards?"
"We traded points for about a week. Then I figured out how to deal with her trick." Her so-called trick being the ability to freeze water at will. It was a touch more complicated than that, but the effect was the same. "Didn't lose again after that." He had no bitter feelings about the losses; Loch had suffered more than one at the hands of others, as well.
And, more importantly, they never kept losing. That was thanks to their lifelong rivalry, in a way. It was the single greatest motivation behind their continuous improvement.
"Was it really that hard to deal with?" Loch asked curiously.
"Yes," Lorel answered immediately. "The moment she freezes it, you just... Lose control. And she's got about as much influence as either of us to boot."
"So how'd you deal with it?"
"She's not as comfortable up close."
"That sounds... Unpleasant."
"Like I said, she proved her point."
Loch laughed. "Fair enough." There was an odd undertone in his voice.
"What?"
"Nothing." Despite that answer, the corners of his lips twitched. "You really like them, don't you?"
"And you don't?"
"Again with the word twisting."
"I do," Lorel answered seriously. "They've helped you a lot."
"... Yeah," the other boy admitted. "They have. You know," he said, sighing yet again. "As much as I dread the future, some part of me is also glad."
"Why? Because you'll finally get to see what's out there once the dust settles?"
He shook his head.
"What, then?"
"It all..." Loch paused, clearly struggling to find the right words. "Everything weighs on my father," he said slowly. "Even if he doesn't acknowledge it, I can see it. Maybe once all is said and done, he'll be able to find some peace."
"It's more than that, isn't it?" Lorel asked gently.
His friend nodded. "Things between us have always been... complicated." Yet another sigh. "It always makes me feel so selfish. He has to look after millions of people. Of course that takes priority. But still, some part of me hopes that maybe when everything is done, we can have a normal relationship. If we're still alive." He looked up, conflict clear in his blue eyes. "That's wrong of me, isn't it?"
"Of course not. To Torrent, he's a leader, but to you, he's your father. It's only natural you want to be close to him." And that, unfortunately, was something made difficult by the very nature of his position. Loch, of course, understood its necessity, but that didn't mean he had any real control over his emotions.
"And there you go again, tossing my worries out of the window."
"How many times do you think I've heard this by now?" That number, whatever it was, was certainly quite high- not that Lorel truly minded. It was something that bothered his friend; and so, by extension, was something he was always willing to listen to. That was important; if not to Loch, then to himself.
"... Sorry."
"Hey. You know that's not what I meant. If I didn't know how to help you by now, that would also be a failure on my part as a friend. "
"Right." Loch cleared his throat. "Thank you. I don't say it enough."
"You don't need to thank me."
"Of course I do. I want to."
"If you're really thankful, then let's meet up with them like we agreed."
His frown returned. "Do you really think they'll be up for it after tonight?"
"Don't you think they'll be grateful for a distraction?"
"Maybe." He didn't seem convinced.
"Besides, what are we supposed to do? Stay tucked away somewhere until everything comes to an end? There's not exactly many places to hide." And, even putting that aside, whoever took control was sure to do so through violence. The sort that left no room for spectators.
"... That's true."
"Anyways." Lorel clapped his friend's shoulder again. "Let's shelve this for later. I'm sure Aria will have questions of her own." He made a show of inspecting Loch's face. "Unless you want to keep going."
"No," the other boy said with a shake of the head. "I'm fine. It's all off my chest now." He closed his eyes, taking a long, deep breath that made his body tremble. When he reopened them, they seemed clearer than before; and his very presence more concrete, somehow. "Thanks. Again." He said, somewhat uncertainly.
"Of course."