So, once again, the trial received more dissatisfied feedback from this audience than anything I've done prior.
I think I have a way to fix this.
This means backing out the last three chapters and reposting. I can get it done this weekend.
What do you think?
I think the fixes are 1. Azbekt. Remove the full-on douchebaggery persona. He would still not be a sweetheart by any means, but if instead of being a raging a*hole, he would be super lawful. He acknowledges Joe's actions healing the ship. He still has to bring Joe in and present Groven's case, rules are rules, after all. But he can note to the trial he does not sense evil off Joe just a hint of fea.
And 2, Hawking suggests the Trial by Quest. The entity realizes he/she/it screwed up dropping Joe in front of Groven and so will give the tool to will prove Joe's innocence. Better chance to dialog between Joe and Hawking as to the use of Trial by Quest.
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
I just worked up a revision to Chapter 54 - Forced March. If anyone is willing to give it a reread and let me know what they think, I'd really appreciate it. There are not any big changes. Just a few small tweaks to tempter Azbekt to make him not so ridiculously overblown.
What do you think?
First off, Thank you all.
The most common thread through all the comments was not Fix it, or Leave it, or Azbekt's a dick. It was support for me, which is really, really, great to read.
Then came Azbekt's a dick. Kidding.
I have a head full of ideas at the moment, but no solid decision yet. I'll let you know if I can work out a better way. If not, I may just tweak it to add more clarification.
Regardless, I, more than anything, wanted to let you all know how much I appreciate your input. I read it all and consider it all. Thanks folks.
Rewrite the arrest and trial - Yes / No?
