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Chapter 15.4. Too hateful to die

  The canyon appeared to be a short strait from a distance, but now it seemed endless. She stood on her own two feet with the last of her strength. Tremors and nausea in her stomach convulsed her entire body, but she almost did not feel the broken hand on which she’d made the cut.

  She tripped against a root tangled between the stones and tumbled on her flank. She growled with pain and rolled on her stomach. Furious at her weakness, Cerridwen rose on all fours, but her shivering hands could not hold her weight. She dropped on the stones again. She felt the buckling of the broken rib, but she let out only a muffled spluttering. She stretched her hand even though her muscles barely flexed. Digging her fingers into the gravel, she began to scratch as if she was trying to crawl.

  So close, so ridiculously close.

  Cerridwen closed her eyes. She slowly ceased to sense any stimuli. She let the forces of nature of this strange planet decide her fate.

  She wandered the seaside promenade without thinking too much about the recent Delian and Seth’s row. Bracing wind winnowed her hair and gently churned the ocean water. A few people passed her but did not pay attention to her. A shining violet bird with green and blue feathers flew above her head, calling to its flock. Fleshy leaves of tropical trees twinkled, reflecting the moonlight like confetti stuck in the air. The smell of algae and wet sand wafted from the ocean side, blending with the weak scents of cheap junk food which was served in the nearby pubs. It did not stop Cerridwen from enjoying the freedom she’d wrongfully gained.

  A thrill of concern ran through her back like a tiny insect. Cerridwen ignored it. Maybe the humid breeze just blew stronger. She pulled the hood over her face without worrying about the chill. She gazed towards the horizon. A glass building in the shape of DNA helix cascaded first in cerulean blue, then in flickering turquoise, and finally lit up in green, after a while changing its shade to aquamarine again. The cycle repeated itself, hypnotising her with its smooth colours and gentle glitter.

  This time, the sense of danger scratched her back and neck again. Cerridwen slowed down, looking behind. A few pedestrians behaved naturally as if they had not noticed her, talking to each other, laughing or whispering something meant only for the other person. She gripped her sleeves and put her hands into the pockets, but it did not protect her from the increasing cold. Slightly shivering, she picked up the pace to reach her destination as fast as possible.

  She sprang aside when the biting ache overwhelmed her body.

  Cerridwen turned and looked towards the thicket of trees. The stinging sensation, which was felt after a sudden touch with the icy metal, ceased, but she still trembled and snuggled into her sweatshirt.

  Walking a few steps, she froze, clenching her teeth and narrowing her eyes. The ice pierced through her muscles and reached her bone marrow. She could not move or take a breath. Her heart rammed even quicker, prodding her ribs every time. Black blobs loomed up in front of her eyes, and the ground under her feet virtually vanished.

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  The Celestian girl roared at the top of her voice, tearing loose from an invisible grip. The force let her go, wishing to play the predator and prey with her. Cerridwen dashed ahead, running so swiftly that a moment later, her muscles burned like a real fire. She glanced back but did not see who made the rhythmical stomp. She sped up, panting heavily.

  She knew where she must run. She had to go back home to stop Seth. She was left with maybe a few seconds. The Celestian girl scarcely saw the blackening world in front of her but she ran, turning towards her home.

  The chase dropped back, but Cerridwen did not slow down. She felt as if her flesh had been torn asunder from the effort like a sandy sculpture lashed by rain. She reached the main road leading to her skyscraper. As she took a few steps on the pavement, she froze in the air.

  Cerridwen wanted to inhale or move her eyes, but she became motionless like a stone, and her heart stopped hammering. The other people walked past her, and the vehicles drove on the road at their usual pace. Everything appeared natural, except for her.

  She attempted to break free from the freezing grip once more, but the force did not surrender. Cerridwen remained in the same position, being able to only think how Seth took Delian’s life. She was so close to saving her father. All she needed was to run faster. The thing caught up with her and captured her at the crucial moment to mock her.

  Then she saw the first silhouette that paid attention to her. Seth walked past his adoptive sister, glancing towards her and smirking. Cerridwen concentrated all her strength and ordered her body to move. She failed. She thought about it again, but even her heart pounded not once. Despite all her efforts, she remained motionless, and Seth kept moving further and further.

  All she could do was to gaze with aversion and wrath. Pure fury filled her veins, but after a second, it vaporised, leaving behind an obscure, almost imagined pain and bitter, raw sorrow.

  Cerridwen understood her mind enough to know that those events were pre-mortal hallucinations, but the emotions remained real. The view blackened and disappeared, although the echo of street sounds kept resounding in her head. She could not check if she were still alive or if her brain had skewed the most horrid moments of her life. She felt neither heartbeat nor dilation of her lungs, but her mind functioned.

  Then, Cerridwen gained the confidence she must be alive. She kept feeling the hatred scorching her from the inside like a flicker in her spark of life.

  She lived until she hated Seth. She lived because she hated Seth.

  Cerridwen lacked only a few hundred steps there. If she could not take them in that dream, she would take them in reality and track her archenemy down.

  She opened her eyes and blinked many times to get rid of the view of the brown smudges. Blurry, shifting shapes did not fade away but began to swirl even faster. The Celestian girl gulped. She recognised the bland taste and consistency of the liquid seeping through her respirator.

  Water!

  She downed the muddy silt with large gulps until she told herself to stop. Rapid rehydration could kill her.

  She raised her head. A trickle of brownish water, flowing down the withered parts of the plants, surrounded her. She shook her head as if she could not accept what was happening with her. She was not able to cool out her chaotic thoughts and take any action. She lay on her back in case the water surged. She felt the waves nudging her and heard the gentle, soothing lap of the water. She stared into the vacant, blue sky like it was the most wonderful view she’d ever witnessed.

  She survived, and she was prepared to fight on until she found Seth and took her revenge for all the harm she’d suffered.

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