Needless to say, Raftina didn't sleep that night in the slightest. She had forgotten about the medication in the shuffle that had been seeing Elaeah again and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling in the pure darkness of the night. Even now, towns felt too silent for her. Adlehyde was one of the large cities on the planet, but that didn't' mean it was the mega-cities she'd grown used to for thousands of years following Filgaia's advancement into the industrial age and then the space age. She was used to dense cities of ten million or more people. Now Adlehyde, with barely 25,000 people, lay almost dead silent and dead dark. They were starting to relearn electricity, but it was scant. There were some local radio stations, but the castle hadn't been wired yet, so she had to listen to the shuffling of servants the carried flickering oil lamps through the darkened castle halls.

  She rose with the dawn as she was used to and dressed, using a spell to truly light her room and went to attend the usual droll meetings of the day. However, Cecilia looked at her in concern. "Lady Raftina...are you well? You look distracted?" If even Cecilia could tell she was distracted and not feeling well...

  Eesh.

  "I just had someone show up I wasn't expecting to see last night. That's all." Raftina put on her usual Lady Raftina mask and voice. For once Cecilia didn't look convinced but the queen sighed and shook her head. By now, Cecilia knew that there was no real holding Raftina back from her doing something if she wanted it. Raftina was too strong and forceful a person to allow others to push her around (well, if that person wasn't Anna).

  "Though did you hear an Elw showed up last night...? It was all the staff could talk about this morning while I was eating. Apparently Emique is having her help out to figure out where she should go." Raftina's heart sunk but she didn't give any indication that she knew exactly what was going on. "I thought Mariel was the only Elw left on Filgaia... It's hard to believe another one just showed up out of the blue like that!"

  Raftina nodded. "That definitely is unusual." She kept her tone square and even, not giving away any of her internal thoughts or feelings. She still wasn't sure how to process any of this. Elaeah... She wouldn't be the same person that Raftina had known over six thousand years ago. This was a reborn Elaeah, one without any memories or attachment to the current Filgaia. She seemed to share some core traits with Elaeah of old, but she just... She wanted to avoid her as much as she possibly could. It still felt too soon...despite having been thousands of years ago. Why...? Who had sent her...?

  She frowned. "Actually, can I be a little late to the first meeting? I have someone to talk to." If he had anything to do with this...she was going to be livid. There was interference and then there was this. This was maddening and she was absolutely livid. If that damn cat had any say in this, she was going to throttle him. This felt beyond malicious even for him.

  Cecilia nodded and Raftina excused herself from the meeting, leaving Adlehyde and going up to the heavens. She breathed a sigh of relief. It was always nice to come back here... The temperature was always perfect and it was a nice break from the dry, dry, desert winds. Plus...she missed the trees. Even at the height of industrialisation, Filgaia had never been without large swaths of forests and national parks and such. The fact there were so few forests on Filgaia still made her weep. She missed the animals and the cool, refreshing breezes that normally accompanied sea breezes... Adlehyde sat on the water, yet it felt as if the sea offered no respite from the desert sands. Even the sea breezes held stiff, dry warmth..

  She turned her thoughts away from them and her ire raised. "Dan Dairam, get your ass here. NOW! I need to talk to you IMMEDIATELY." She could be cross with the cat, but her anger and frustration bled through more than it usually did. Thankfully, the little black anthro cat popped into being and stretched.

  "I see what you're thinking this time, Raftina, but it wasn't me. I had nothing to do with Elaeah returning. That was all the Elw elders." He stretched and she sighed. This did feel malicious... Dan Dairam could be mischievous, but there was a difference between mischievous and malicious. He sometimes dropped her off on other worlds for 'vacations' (which frustrated her to no end) but he had never done anything like this before. She should've given him the benefit of the doubt since her intuition had said that was too far even for him... But still... She couldn't shake the idea he was the culprit until now.

  "Why would they do this?" Her frustration melted away into panic and desperation. She didn't understand. It wasn't like she could just march up to the elders and tell them what she was thinking. She couldn't access their world very easily. She would need to go through the pyramids and those were a very long journey away... She really wondered how Elaeah had fared crossing the deserts to get here…

  "I mean I can hazard a guess but you probably wouldn't like it," Dan Dairam said. "At least based on their pre-Demon War culture..."

  Raftina sighed. "Let's hear it." Why not. She was frustrated and distraught by all of this. She needed an answer as to why they would send Elaeah back to her. She probably wouldn't like it, no, but something was better than nothing. She was trying to rack her mind, but so much conflicted with her understanding of Elw culture in regards to their reincarnation cycles...Elw weren't meant to die, so their souls were recycled when one died. Elaeah had only been half Elw, but the half that was Elw could still be entitled to reincarnation. Her soul wasn't half and half, but would be turned to full Elw once reincarnated.

  "Because the elders remember how upset you were when she died. They probably want you to be happy. But considering Elw don't hold reincarnations to their old lives... It conflicts pretty heavily with their old beliefs."

  Raftina stared in disbelief. No, that didn't make any sense given their pre-War beliefs. Elw weren't supposed to return to their old lives when reincarnated. It wasn't seen as fair to the reincarnated individual. They were supposed to have a second chance at life and to be happy. Elw loved their happiness and freedom, so to expect someone to go back to their old life went against core beliefs in Elw ideology. "That can't be it. It wouldn't be fair to her."

  "They named her Elaeah again, didn't they? They recognised who she was and sent her to be here with you again. It'll be up to you two what you want to do with this second chance. And Raftina... She's whole Elw now. She won't die unless something goes horribly wrong." Dan Dairom spoke softly but her heart froze in her chest. No, it wasn't fair to Elaeah to send her here... Were the elders grooming her for Raftina's return?

  "Is there any way you can get me to speak to the elders?" She needed to speak to them directly. She needed to confirm if this was the case or not. She just... It all felt so wrong. It contradicted so many of the Elw's core beliefs and doctrine at least as they existed pre-war. She... She didn't know hot to take any of this. She was trying but she just couldn't accept it. She needed to speak to the elders to see what they were planning. This couldn't go left unaddressed.

  "I can't send you there directly, but I can get you to the Elw Pyramids that'll take you there. You won't be gone too long. It won't be a long journey like if you were going to the pyramid by yourself. Does that sound fine?" She nodded a bit. Dan Dairam took her hand and they appeared before the pyramid. He let go and she entered.

  Soon enough, she found herself in a lush, green environment and wiped her tears away. She missed this Filgaia, but it wasn't like she could stay here. She had to help the current Filgaia move forward, not stick around in this projection of an old state of the planet. Part of her wished she could, but Cecilia's advisors would absolutely take advantage of the girl if given the chance. She was getting stronger everyday, but it was still difficult for her to stand up to people and handle direct conflict. Raftina was trying to build her confidence, but it was hard when it had been so thoroughly destroyed at the Curan Abbey. She could even do much about that either... Humans were flawed creatures that couldn't ignore putting down those lesser than themselves sometimes.

  She unfurled her wings and flew for a bit, coming to a large city that was nearly invisible unless one knew what to look for. Everything was intertwined into nature and everything looked like an extension of the forest. Elw milled about, going on their daily lives. It was so strange to see the Elw by themselves... She was so used to seeing humans and tenno mixed among them... Her heart stuck in her chest again, a desire for the past to return, but she knew it was long gone. Filgaia could never be as it once had been. The Demon Wars had utterly decimated the planet. It barely survived…

  A young woman approached. "Oh, Lady Raftina. Is there something we can do for you?" she asked.

  "I need a meeting with the elders immediately. It cannot be put off to another day." She kept her tone level since it wasn't like this young Elw's fault all of this had happened. She was...maybe five hundred? A thousand? By Elw standards, still somewhat young. Granted, Filgaia was only about six thousand years in total, but even so…

  The young woman frowned. "It takes weeks for them to assemble--"

  "I don't have the time. Let me meet with whoever I can meet with, even if it's only one person."

  "Come with me then, Lady Raftina." The young woman bowed and led her to a tall building, about ten stories. She entered the door which was a lobby of sorts and she settled down in a chair. The young woman went to the desk and started speaking quickly with the receptionist. It went on for a while until the receptionist came over and bowed.

  "We can allow you to convene with two of the elders today. They're free, but the rest are scattered around. It would take weeks for them all to agree to convene. Will this do for you?" the older woman asked. Not that she appeared too much older than the young woman. Once Elw hit around twenty, they stopped aging too much. There was no such thing as an elderly Elw. None had grey hair, wrinkles, and so on. They just looked closer to forty or so.

  Raftina nodded. "It will do." Elw tended to live in close-knit groups but there was a council of elders that oversaw everything. Of course, in the pre-War era, this had fallen out of favor due to the vast population of Elw and they just focused on following the laws of the land, but small grievances could be taken to local elders in order to be sorted out. The Elw followed the governments of the lands, but with their decimated population... Apparently they had gone back to the old ways to some degree. Or a large degree if the council was now the main ruling body…

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  The older woman motioned for Raftina to sit down, which she did. She picked up a magazine but sighed when she realised she couldn't read it. Of course the languages would be different... How frustrating. She just wanted to pass the time until the two elders could meet with her. So, instead, she opted to close her eyes and ran through drills mentally. She ran through a lot of different combat forms, comining, separating, breaking down... She did all of it mentally, though her body did react a little.

  Eventually, though, she heard footsteps approach her and she opened her eyes. "Elder Lon and Elder Valo will see you now, Lady Raftina." The woman smiled at her and she nodded. They went up in the elevator to floor eight where she was led to a meeting room. It was small, just large enough for a couple people. It obviously wasn't meant to be where the entire council of elders convened. It was just meant for members of the council to talk amongst themselves and discuss things...or meet with individuals if so needed.

  The woman left, leaving Raftina face-to-face with a couple of men who looked about forty. "We weren't expecting you back so soon, Lady Raftina... You told us you'd most likely be back when Filgaia was able to be populated again. It definitely hasn't been several centuries since we last saw you." She definitely recognised Lon and Valo. They had been prominent elders before Elw populations had grown fairly large.

  Raftina nodded. "Something happened that makes no sense to me. Dan Dairam proposed a theory that...doesn't make sense." She frowned. Normally she didn't show so much emotion when dealing with politics, but this was more of a personal matter. "Why was Elaeah's reincarnation given her old name and sent to me? I thought you guys didn't want to come back to Filgaia until she was healed and able to sustain your entire population. Why send her there? Especially since she seems to have the mannerisms of a somewhat young Elw. She's, what, maybe three hundred?" She just couldn't make any sense of this. Dan Dairam's theory went against so many core Elw teachings…

  The two men looked at each other before nodding. Valo stepped forward. "We sent her to you because we knew you were back. Yes, normally it does go against Elw teachings to send a person back to a previous life. Naming them after their previous life normally breaks a lot of taboos. But one of our seers said you'd be back within a few centuries. We can remember your relationship with Elaeah and how happy you were even though it changed Filgaia forever. We remember the several months you were in mourning over her death. We wanted to send her back to you so you could have a second chance."

  Raftina felt like she'd been punched in the gut. So Dan Dairam had been right... "But why break so many taboos...?" It didn't make sense. Just to see her happy? She would never be truly happy again. She had so much weight to bear on her shoulders, weight nobody should have to bear. She hadn't known happiness since Elaeah's death and that had been millennia ago. Arlan hadn't given her any happiness, just comfort and solace in a vulnerable time...but that had gone poorly. It had resulted in her losing her magic when pregnant and then the subsequent imprisoning of her, Zephyr, and Justine. She just... Why would they break so many cultural taboos? "Doesn't she deserve a second chance at life just like you all believe? You can't just force her to love somebody because she did in her previous life..."

  "We remember, Lady Raftina... Yes, it breaks a lot of our taboos, but you offered us so much help in the past. You've done so much for Filgaia and the Elw on the whole. We wanted to offer you something in return... A chance at an eternal relationship." Valo smiled, though his words were weary with the weight of millennia.

  "You guys didn't think at all about my feelings on the matter." She didn't accuse them of anything; she just spoke with a bit of emphasis. "I chose to love mortals because I've seen what eternal relationships are like. Between Equites, Luceid, and Justine... That's a mess and so much drama." She shook her head.

  "Yes, and how many mortals did you love after her death?" Lon asked.

  She sighed. "Touche." Arlan wasn't really love in the end. It had been a fling for two desperate, vulnerable individuals in a scary situation. There was no love there. Well. It was complicated. Very complicated. She loved him but also didn't at the same time... She could recognise the relationship for what it was but…

  Guh.

  Now was not the time to be sorting through those particular feelings.

  "You should get a chance to love as well. No, she will not be the same Elaeah you knew entirely, but her core traits are similar enough I believe there is a chance. Do not ignore this chance, Lady Raftina. We broke many taboos for your sake. Please do not ignore her even if it's painful for you. You have never truly healed from that pain, have you?" She looked down, not wanting to talk about it. She had never truly healed, no... She refused to talk in therapy about Elaeah because it just hurt too much. She tried to avoid it as much as possible but...now those memories were staring her straight in the face. This was Elaeah but it wasn't at the same time…

  “I… I always wished for her back, but I never knew she would come back… Now that I have the chance, I…” She couldn’t hide her emotions right now. Normally she would hide her emotions in her Lady Raftina mask but she couldn’t right now. She just couldn’t. This hit too close to home. She hated it, but she had no other choice. She was in very close proximity to Elaeah. The Elw had broken a bunch of cultural taboos just so she could potentially be happy. “Do Elw ever get their memories back?”

  “Sometimes. There is no telling what triggers it. Sometimes it can be as simple as seeing a previous loved one. Sometimes it can be a complex set of situations unfolding that causes it. There is no real way to know. It was one of those things that Lady Endolia left up to Ge Ramtos. He never truly made a solid decision on it and it still maintains to this day. He kind of just waved his hand and never made any concrete determination about it. It has caused much heartache but petitions to him have done nothing.” Valo sighed. “And now you see the heartache it causes.”

  “Sorry. I should probably have known this already, but with as busy as I was before the Demon Wars…” She shook her head. She hadn’t learned the ins and outs of every single little nook and cranny as that every Guardian had with the races of Filgaia. She had known the Elw reincarnated, but she hadn’t known the mechanics of it until now. She should have inquired about it more just in case something like this were to happen… She hadn’t expected the Elw to break such deeply held cultural taboos, though. Why would they do that…? Just to make her happy? It was such a gamble. If she and Elaeah didn’t end up back together and Elaeah regained her memories… What would happen? But what would happen if Elaeah didn’t regain her memories? She just… There was no easy way around this at all. She had no idea how to handle the situation. She was completely at a loss.

  “No. Something like the mechanics of Elw lifecycles wasn’t something that was necessarily part of your necessary knowledge in order to deal with interworld politics and try to solve disputes between Guardians and mortals. Not all Guardians understand what we living beings went through, being divine themselves. They were created, not born. Aside from you.” Raftina nodded. She was the only Guardian that truly understood what people living life went through. Guardians lived in the heavens. Elw were mortal in the sense that they could get sick and die, though death from illness was rare. It took something like aggressive cancer to put an Elw down. And then they’d be reborn in time. Whether it was days or millennia later… All Elw would eventually be reborn into Elw society.

  “Thank you for understanding. I just… It’s so hard to accept that she’s back and you broke so many cultural taboos for me. I know I shouldn’t refuse this chance, but at the same time… She’s not the same Elaeah I knew nor am I the same Raftina she knew. That was before interworld politics. Before the Demon Wars. I’m…I’m broken compared to the woman I was before her death.” She wrapped her arms around herself and bowed her head a little. Elaeah wouldn’t recognise her if she got her memories back. She was a much, much different woman than she’d been before. She had no idea how to deal with that possibility. She hated it and she knew Elaeah would be beyond disappointed to know she still mourned her. She had promised Elaeah she’d move on after her death. Yet she hadn’t done that… She had broken probably the most important promise she’d made to Elaeah… And she did not count the fling with Arlan as moving on by any means.

  “No, it’s not the same. But if you truly want her back, aren’t the potential difficulties worth it? You’re renowned for your mind, Lady Raftina, but you’re also known for your heart. I think there’s a conflict there now. You’re thinking about what can stop it. But what do you feel? What does your heart want? Stop thinking so much and let yourself feel for once.” The words were gentle but hit her like a ton of bricks. She kept her heart shut down for so much. After losing Elaeah, she had really shut down quite a lot… She just didn’t want to be hurt like that again. Losing people hurt way too much. And she didn’t have her mother for counsel here either… That would have to wait until the news of the Guardians’ return and belief surged again. She couldn’t restore her mother without her full power. She had a fair bit here, but once she left… She would go back to her base ability with how few humans believed in the Guardians.

  “I’ll…have to reflect on that when I’m not here.” She knew if she let her walls down, she’d end up bawling her eyes out. She was pretty sure she already knew the answer to the question, but she didn’t want to admit to it. She really, really didn’t… But maybe she could do something about her mother… She’d have to talk to Duras Drum. Maybe between Ge Ramtos and Duras Drum, they could do something about Endolia’s soul. She hadn’t thought about it before now. But they needed Endolia back sooner rather than later. They really did… She wasn’t sure the planet would survive another couple centuries without Endolia. The desertification pushed more and more each day and they lost more and more arable land… Mariel could only do so much as the only Elw, and not many Elw wanted to come back due to hearing the planet screaming in agony when they were there. She was surprised Elaeah was as cheerful as she was.

  Lon nodded. “Very well. Do you have any other questions, Lady Raftina?”

  She shook her head. “No. Thank you for your time.” She curtsied to them then left the building. She headed back to the Elw Pyramid and found herself back in the desert planet. Yes, she was in a green area…but she would be back in Adlehyde soon enough. Which meant harsh, dry desert winds despite being relatively close to the coast… Even the ocean couldn’t stave off the effects of the desert. She really wished she could do something about the planet… But this wasn’t her Filgaia anymore. It wasn’t the planet she had grown up on, the one she had spent so much time on… It was a new Filgaia and not one she wanted to be on.

  Dan Dairam appeared in front of her and looked at her. “So how did it go?”

  “They broke cultural taboos so I could potentially be happy again.” That was all she wanted to say to him. Divulging too much would make her break down in tears which she didn’t want right now at all. She’d been through a lot today and it was already midday. She hadn’t had anything to eat. “I need some food.”

  “Come back to the heavens and get something to eat,” he urged. “I’m sure Eveen would be happy to make you something. You haven’t been getting enough food. Just take care of yourself this once. Please. Talk to Equites or Luceid or anybody else. I know you don’t want to talk to me, but just somebody. Keeping all of this bottled up isn’t good for you, Raftina. I know that’s how you deal with things, but it’s not healthy. Talk to someone. I beg you.”

  She sighed. “All right… I’ll at least get something to eat.” She wasn’t sure about talking to anybody outside of Ge Ramtos and Duras Drum. One was the force of Death. The other was the overseer of souls in the afterlife. Similar but not the same. She had no idea if they would be able to make her idea come true or not… Maybe, just maybe they could return Endolia to life before she returned to full power…