Pucas yelped and threw up in the back of his throat. Vira yipped and covered her eyes with both paws. Montana "Mono" Shingles winced, expecting there to be a lot of gore; but as the two halves of Che Cavolo fell apart on the floor she saw that he had no bones or guts inside of him at all, and that the place where he was cut looked much like a sliced turdnip or poretato.

  As soon as Zanghi Zygote had bisected the nefarious thaumaturge Che Cavolo the enchanted plastic bag evaporated from around his handsome head and he found he could breath again.

  "Will Che Cavolo die?" Mono asked Prince Leek.

  "Certainly, peon,” replied Prince Leek. “He is all-the-way dead now, and will wither very quickly. Stranger Zanghi, I hereby appoint you Royal Thaumaturge of Prodeuce Province until we can grow a new one.”

  "What do you mean by that?" asked Zanghi.

  "If you will accompany me to our public gardens," replied the prince, "I will explain to you much better than I can here the mysteries of our reproduction."

  After Zanghi had wiped the green moistness from his scimitar and taken it apart and put the pieces into their iguana skin case again, Prince Leek ordered some of his people to carry the two halves of the Che Cavolo to the gardens. Prince Leek conveniently seemed to have completely forgotten the ongoing trial of Mono, Pucas, and Vira.

  Crassgass the Gassy Jackass, who had been waiting outside with his rear-end-of-a-V.W.-bug carriage, pricked up his ears when he saw Zanghi coming. He farted happily to see his best friend. Zanghi jumped into the half-a-bug’s seat and motioned for Montana (still carrying Vira) and Pucas to sit beside him. The seat was amply wide enough for the silver-haired humanoid, rotund tween and small puppet-class yokai, and as Crassgass started to leave Vira lept out of Montana’s arms and upon Crassgass’ bony back and balanced there quite contentedly.

  So the procession moved through the streets, the servants carrying the two chunks of Che Cavolo’s rapidly rotting corpse first, Prince Leek- still holding his relatively tiny shotgun- next, then Crassgass drawing the half-a-bug carriage, and last the crowd of Prodeucers who never smiled nor frowned.

  "Want some chewing gum?" Zanghi asked, offering the pack to Mono and Pucas.

  "No thanks," said Pucas. It was no fun throwing up gum.

  "I’ll take a piece," said Mono.

  "Here, keep the pack, I’ve got another," said Zanghi. Mono put it in her backpack.

  The city had several fine city streets lined with gorgeous translucent buildings; but when the procession had passed through these it came upon a broad plain that was entirely made of fertilizer, covered with gardens and moistened by many foamy yellow streams that flowed through it. There were paths through these gardens, and over some of the rivulets were glass bridges that gleamed like holograms.

  Montana and Pucas now hopped out of the half-a-bug and walked beside the prince, so that they might see and examine the flora better.

  They first passed through many beautiful gardens of flowers, which grew nearest the city; Montana could identify sticky willies, skunk scabbage, naked-man orchids, bastard toadflax, and lousewort.

  When they passed over a field of magenta hairgrass Crassgass immediately stretched down his head and began to nibble.

  "How does it taste?" asked Zanghi, who was still sitting in the carriage.

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  "Grassy."

  "Grassy?"

  "I meant greasy," said Crassgass, who then farted in Zanghi’s face, which made Zanghi laugh.

  By this time the party had reached a freshly plowed fertilizer field, and Prince Leek said to Mono:

  "This is our planting-ground."

  Several Prodeucers came forward with spades and dug a hole in the ground. Then they put the two chunks of Che Cavolo into it and covered him up. Then they pulled up a big wheelbarrow and filled the hole with steaming fresh fertilizer. After that other people brought cloudy yellow liquid from a stream and tinkled it on the ground.

  "He will sprout very soon," said the prince, "and grow into a large bushy bush, from which we shall in time be able to pick several very good thaumaturges."

  The little party of strangers now followed the prince across a few more of the glass bridges and along several paths until they came to a garden enclosed by a high shrubbery. Crassgass had refused to leave the field of magenta hairgrass, where he was engaged in busily eating; so Zanghi got out of the half-a-bug and headed towards Pucas, Mono, and Leek. Vira jumped off the jackass’ back and followed at Prodeuce Province’s new thaumaturge’s heels.

  Inside the shrubbery they came upon row after row of large and moist and pulsating plants with broad vein-covered pink leaves curving until their points nearly reached the ground. In the center of each plant grew a classily dressed Prodeucer, for the clothing of all these creatures grew upon them and was attached to their bodies.

  "Our people do not acquire their real life until they are picked," said the prince. "You will notice they are all attached to the plants by the soles of their feet, and when they are quite ripe they are easily separated from the stems and at once attain the powers of motion and speech. So while they grow they cannot be said to really live, and they must be picked before they can become good citizens."

  "How long do you live, after you are picked?" asked Montana.

  "That depends upon the care we take of ourselves," he replied. "If we keep cool and moist, and meet with no accidents, we often live for five years. I've been postpicked over six years now, but our family is known to be especially long lived."

  "This," said Leek, walking over towards another shrubbery and pointing at it with his gun, "is the Royal Bush of the Prodeuce. All of our princes and kweens and kings and tremorroids and potentates and monarchs and managers and community organizers have grown upon this one bush from time immemorial."

  They stood before it in silent admiration. On the central stalk stood poised the be-gowned figure of a decidedly unpretty chayote-headed girl, whose poise expressed both dignity and grace despite her nightmare of a face.

  "Who is this?" asked Zanghi, curiously.

  Prince Leek had been staring hard at the lady on the bush. Now he answered, with a touch of uneasiness in his cold tones:

  "She is the ruler destined to be my successor, for she is a tremorroid. When she becomes fully ripe I must abandon the sovereignty of the province to her."

  "Isn't she ripe now?" asked Montana.

  He hesitated.

  "Not quite," said he, finally. "No, it will be several days- weeks, perhaps- before she must be picked."

  "I'm sure this tremorroid is ready to be picked," asserted Montana, gazing hard at the homely girl on the bush.

  "No, no, no, silly girl. Now, never mind," answered the prince, hastily, "she will be all right for a few days longer, and it is best for me to rule until I can dispose of you strangers, who have come to our land uninvited and must be attended to at once."

  "What are you going to do with us?" asked Montana.

  "That is a matter I have not quite decided upon," was the reply. "We’re keeping the cute one until a new thaumaturge is ready to pick, for he seems quite skillful and may be of use to us. But the rest of you must be annihilated in some way. I do not wish jackasses and dogs and humanoids and puppets gallomping all over our country. You’re garbage.”

  "Hey! We didn't ask to come down here to your stupid province; we fell," said Mono.

  "That is no excuse," declared the Prince of the Province of Prodeuce, coldly. "Follow me, please, to meet your execution."

  Zanghi and Mono looked at each other in perplexity, and Zanghi sighed. Vira let out a whine and covered both eyes with her little furry paws. Pucas threw up all over the fertilizer.