Kasia looked at Isaak, startled, and hurt. Why would he be angry? He had been trying to break down her resolve for weeks.

  “H-having sex with you–” she stammered helplessly, “I thought– do you not—” she choked, “---want me anymore?” How her heart broke even saying those words.

  Hadn’t he just been looking at her like she was the stars in the night sky— those celestial lights whose charm remained as constant as the sun rising each morning? Or had she only seen what she had wanted to see– what she felt when she looked at him? Like a lifetime with him would never be enough.

  Strong arms pulled her off of him, drawing her out of her morose self-pity.

  "Of course I do. I want little else," Isaak groaned in pain as he reached down to adjust himself, and to cover them both with the blanket. "But this doesn't seem like you, Kasia. Is this really what you want?" His expression had gentled. It eased the ache that had formed inside her. He did want her.

  “I-I- yes! I want it to be you! I need it to be you.” Kasia’s eyes watered and she reached out to cup his cheek.

  Isaak took her hand in his and shook his head slowly, "If that is true, then why are you crying?"

  Kasia trembled and sank against him. “I’m sorry. I… Ivar died.” Saying the words aloud felt like a physical blow.

  “The were–” she caught herself. No one was supposed to know they suspected a werewolf was behind the attacks, “--the monster killed him. And he’s…just gone. And dead. And I don’t know when I’m going to die– it could be tomorrow– and I want you! I want to be with you! And Wojciek was saying such horrible things about how he’s going to make me a woman– his woman,” Kasia shuddered in his arms, “but I don’t want to be his woman! I want to be your woman!”

  Kasia's hand wandered down his body yet again as she pulled him into a deep kiss. Yes, she would be his woman. "Make me yours," she begged.

  Isaak released an audible groan, his body visibly betraying how much he desired her. But he gently pulled her hand away and stopped her from touching him again. "Not like this, Kasia. This isn't what you want." He whispered softly. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers. "You're not ready."

  Kasia began to cry again, “But I’m afraid to wait!”

  "Not like this" He kissed her forehead tenderly. "Not here, not now. I won't do it."

  Kasia laughed through her tears, hugging him tightly. “Isaak…” Her feelings for him surged inside her once more. She gazed into his boundless blue-green eyes. “I love you.”

  Her heart skipped a beat once she said it. What if he rejected her again? But.. no, it didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same or even if he left her right here and now. It wouldn’t change how she felt about him. And she knew that she loved him.

  "You do?" His expression quickly shifted from one of concern to a cocky smile as his eyes met hers.

  Kasia huffed a laugh, rolling her eyes at the arrogance that she found both charming and infuriating. “Yes. I do.”

  She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you,” she whispered again. “How will I know when I’m ready?” she asked softly.

  "I cannot tell you that, my lady." He kissed her in return. His hand roved her naked side.

  Kasia squinted at him, “So you know with certainty that I’m not ready, but you won’t tell me how to know when I am? Rude man.” she studied his naked chest with longing. She was not eager to return downstairs. To Wojciek.

  “How do you make a man stop wanting you?” she asked in an abrupt change of topic.

  Isaak barked a startled laugh. "I'm not accustomed to spurning the advances of men." His smile turned wicked. He leaned forward, eyes full of predatory intent, and began to explore the side of her face and neck with his lips.

  Kasia laughed and leaned back against the headboard to give him better access to her neck. “I’m trying to get Wojciek to leave me alone. If you were interested in a woman, what could she do that would make you lose interest?”

  "Hmmm… die?" He answered jokingly. He had become very playful, a stark contrast to how serious he had been moments before. "I've never given up on a hunt."

  Kasia whined and kicked her legs. "Then I'll never be free of him!"

  She sighed, "We should get dressed. If I don't go back down soon, he'll drag me straight back to my Tatu?…I can't wait for this monster to be caught so I can stop having chaperones."

  She traced the red rope still tied around her neck. Kasia had thought that she'd have been able to take it off by now, expecting her father to relieve her of the punishment after a few weeks, but it still rubbed against her skin five months later. The color had dulled to more of a rust red, rather than the bright crimson it had once been. A fresh wound that had dried, a reminder of all that had happened. That Ivar had died.

  "Why didn't it kill me?" She murmured to herself, nails pulling at the rope that held her connected to this monster, to all this death.

  “I am flattered that you believe I know everything,” Isaak’s voice interrupted her thoughts, “but I don’t know what monsters think, or if they think at all.”

  Kasia looked up,“Oh, sorry– I didn’t expect you to know. I hadn’t realized I’d spoken out loud.”

  Isaak grabbed her hand and tugged her back towards the bed. “Let’s stay. I’m guessing that this Wojciek fellow is downstairs.”

  Kasia's eyes widened and she shook her head, "We can't. Even if we didn't have sex, that's exactly what he'll tell my Tatu?– and then my Tatu? might ban me from seeing you. If you want to go downstairs and then run away into the woods or to the beach, I'm game. But I don't want Wojciek going back to the castle to tell my Tata that I'm spending my rest days bedding you."

  She climbed from the bed and pulled her trousers back on reluctantly, “Not that it would stop me from seeing you, but sneaking out is already a lot of work as it is. It’s nice to have one day where I’m allowed to come see you.” She smiled teasingly before pulling her shirt back on.

  “I will endeavor to be worth the effort.”

  “You already are.” Kasia looked up at him, her chest full of affection for the rake before her.

  Isaak lamented loudly as he got dressed, himself. “Spending time together naked, that’s a true treat. The absolute best way to spend your rest days.”

  But then his face grew solemn and he approached Kasia, taking her hand in his, “It is inevitable that you will become my woman. I’m irresistible. And any other day, I might have accepted your offer and taken you here and now. But I want your first time to be something truly unforgettable. And I want it to be because you want me, not because you want revenge against someone else.”

  “Thank you.” Kasia replied sincerely. He might not have said he loved her back, but the fact that he cared about how she lost her virginity told her that she did matter to him. The thought warmed her heart and brought a smile to her lips. She slipped her hand into his and together they went downstairs.

  When her foot left the last stair, Kasia looked to the corner where her friends and current babysitter would be waiting. She stiffened when she saw where Wojciek was sitting.

  She marched over to him with all the authority and righteous indignation she could fit in her small, five-foot frame.

  “That’s Ivar’s seat. Sit somewhere else.” she snarled.

  She wasn’t ready to let someone take that place yet. Ivar had earned the right to sit with their group. He laughed and joked with them. He had minded his own business yet still offered occasional advice and watched out for them. He had been a friend.

  “How inhospitable of you, Katarzyna. We came as a group. And I can sit wherever I would like.” Wojciek drawled, but His eyes had turned murderous at the mention of Ivar.

  It was true that Ivar had been more Wojciek’s friend than Kasia’s. They’d been initiates together, though Wojciek was a few years older. Perhaps she should have been sensitive to that, but Wojciek had been an absolute bastard this morning and Kasia wasn’t feeling particularly charitable.

  “You are a guard. We did not come together. You are not welcome!” Kasia hissed through her teeth. She angrily grabbed another empty chair and pulled it over to replace the one Wojciek had sat in. Next, she grabbed the back of Wojciek’s chair and attempted to pull it out of the place. At six feet tall and all of it muscle, he was impossibly heavy. Harold might have a point about Kasia not being able to carry the majority of her fellow knights in the case of injury.

  She let out a small, frustrated shriek until Isaak came up next to her, grabbed the back of Wojciek's chair, and helped her pull Wojciek several feet away.

  Satisfied, Kasia placed the empty chair in its place. “Thank you, kochanie (honey).”

  During this, Janine and Andrew exchanged a look. “This is either going to be very entertaining or very awful.” Andrew whispered.

  “It’s like watching a building burn… horrible, but at the same time, I can’t look away.” Janine agreed.

  “Should we make ourselves scarce and let them battle it out here?” Andrew suggested.

  Janine chuckled and shook her head, “And miss the show? Give it a minute, I want to watch.”

  Wojciek stood up in a rage, barking. “Who do you think that you are, woodsman?!” Despite his large size, Wojciek was still half a head shorter than the enormous Isaak.

  “The lady asked you to move.” the woodsman growled quietly.

  The entire tavern fell silent. The villagers were accustomed to knights brawling with each other, but to have one threaten a ‘villager’ was something far less common. Isaak may have only been a visitor, but he was still viewed by the other villagers as one of them.

  “You can do your job just fine from over there.” Isaak thrust his chin forward toward the chair across the room.

  Kasia slid her hand into Isaak’s, lacing their fingers together as she glowered at Wojciek. She tugged gently on Isaak’s arm, trying to pull him over to the half circle where her friends still sat. She didn’t want to escalate the situation further than she already had, but neither was she willing to back down entirely. “You were being a dick, Wojciek. I’m still mourning Ivar, just like you– we all are, and I’m not ready to have someone else sit in his spot. Isaak was helping you get your head out of your own ass.”

  “Who are you to mourn Ivar?” Wojciek snapped, his face turning a mottled red as he stomped across the room, dropping heavily into the chair they had pushed away. It was in an awkward position in the middle of the room, away from any other tables or guests.

  “Who are you to tell me I can’t?!” Kasia snarled right back.

  It was true that Wojciek had been far closer to Isaak than Kasia had been– but that did not minimize the grief she felt over his absence. And if it pissed off Wojciek, well maybe Kasia wanted that a little bit, too. But this wasn’t about Wojciek. She would have had an empty chair set aside for Ivar whether or not Wojciek had accompanied them or not.

  Kasia turned on her heel and stalked back to her friends, pulling Isaak with her. They couldn’t drink wine while Wojciek was here (well, except for Isaak), so she poured herself some of the czemiga Sondra had placed on the table for them earlier. After filling her glass, as well as that of her friends, she uncorked the wine and poured a glass and set it on the table in front of the empty seat. She poured another glass for Isaak.

  She made eye contact with Isaak and her friends, one at a time, “I’d like to drink to him.”

  “So the monster struck again?” Isaak’s voice was full of innocent curiosity.

  “You didn’t hear?” Kasia asked, leaning back so she could see all of him. She assumed the whole village would have heard by now. Her cheeks turned pink and she looked around quickly to see if anyone was listening before saying in a low voice, “I told you already, in the room… Ivar was killed… At least he didn’t suffer the way Bruno did.”

  At this last sentence, Janine and Andrew both widened their eyes. They hadn’t known about this either. Kasia had not told them what she and her Uncle had found during Ivar’s autopsy. She’d been too grief stricken at the time to even think about it.

  Her friends looked at Isaak, then back to Kasia. It was easy enough to know what they were thinking. They desperately wanted the details Kasia knew, but couldn't ask for them in front of someone outside the order.

  Kasia also saw their suspicion that she might have revealed such things to him anyway, and if so, did it matter if she did again?

  “I have not disobeyed orders.” Kasia snapped curtly. “Isaak does not know anything more than the rest of the village.”

  “I know,” Isaak sighed, “You'd think being the sweetheart of the Lord Commander’s daughter would grant me special privileges, but no….”

  They all laughed and some of the tension dissipated.

  Kasia figured she could tell them a little without revealing much. “You remember how I told you Bruno was….that his body–” She trailed off.

  “And Ivar wasn’t?” Janine leaned forward, eyes intense, “But that French soldier’s body was cut in half! What do you mean?”

  Isaak let out a choking sound that he quickly covered with a cough.

  Kasia flinched and looked around again. Janine had the decency to look apologetic for her choice of words and glanced around them as well.

  She rolled her eyes. Well, so much for being discreet in front of Isaak.

  “Well, other than that… everything else… all of the wounds both men had were from fighting. It… I don’t know… it didn’t seem like the last one.” Kasia’s eyes burned and she blinked rapidly to soothe the sting. Images from the autopsy flashed through her head. A hand, cold and still, dirt and blood still under the fingernails. Ivar’s forehead, with his red hair plastered to it from sweat and blood. Guy’s severed torso, all the meat hanging out, the white of his spine visible against the dark red of, well, everything else…

  Kasia coughed, clearing her throat. Her voice had gone raspy. She took a drink of czemiga, the honey in the drink a balm to her throat. “A lot of Bruno’s wounds had dead blood and bruising where it collected—” A flash of irritation lanced through Kasia when she saw Janine’s blank expression. Her friend had never taken hunting very seriously, “which means,” Kasia looked pointedly at Janine with one eyebrow raised, “the mutilation and stuff happened after he was dead.”

  Janine huffed, “You say that like I should know that.”

  “Uh, Kochanie, you should know that.” Andrew mumbled quietly.

  Janine pursed her lips irritably.

  All knight hunters were trained in how to perform an autopsy. It was part of the more advanced curriculum that began when they were twelve and moved from prospects to initiates. They had to know how the monsters were killing to figure out what they needed to hunt. But neither of her friends had as much experience as Kasia, who regularly helped her Wujeks Nathan and Ren in the morgue. To most initiates, it was a chore before they could get to the fun part– the hunting. To Kasia, it was the hunt. The body was a puzzle that would unlock the key to defeating the monster.

  “But with Ivar and the french–Guy, I think his name was. Yeah, Guy.” She remembered Louise crying out the name when the soldier’s body had come into view.

  “All of their injuries, Ivar and Guy’s, happened while they were still alive. It was like the monster was…” Kasia hesitated, thinking about how rough and disorganized Bruno’s injuries had been. Like something had lost control, “angry with Bruno and wanted to disrespect his corpse. Or frighten us with its brutality. Whatever the motivation was, it didn’t behave the same way with Ivar and Guy.”

  “If the behavior is so different, how can you be sure it was the same thing?” Andrew asked.

  Kasia grimaced and turned to look at Isaak, putting as much gravity into her eyes as was possible, “This is all a secret, do you understand? We’re not supposed to talk about this stuff with anyone outside of the order.”

  “I’m untrustworthy, got it.” Isaak’s lips twisted up into stupid smile, one that was clearly for show. “I’ll tell the trees that I see every day.”

  Kasia punched him in the leg playfully, “Absolutely not. Everyone knows the trees are terrible gossips.” She watched him out of the corner of her eye. She had just told the man she loved him and tried to have sex with him. Of course she trusted him–couldn’t he see that?

  Kasia continued, “I mentioned that to my Wujek, but he said the claw and bite marks were the same size… and the likelihood of two werewolves being that large?” It was the first time that she had admitted that the monster was a werewolf in Isaak’s presence. She watched him to see how he would react.

  Isaak’s face twisted in concern, his jaw clenching. Was he afraid for himself? Or for the Knights? When his fingers curled into fists on his knees, Kasia reached over and slid her fingers into his fist, uncurling it so she could hold his hand. She gave him a reassuring smile, and saw his face relax in response. She liked that she could do that to him.

  Andrew looked deep in thought, his brow furrowed and his lips set in a hard line. He stared at the grains in the wood of the table, as though reading them for answers.

  “And it didn’t eat any of the meat like last time… last time, Bruno’s body was unrecognizable. This time, the only post-mortem wounds were the missing hearts…” Kasia added, remembering how neat Ivar and Guy’s body had seemed. Perfect for a burial. How nice of the creature to leave recognizable corpses for their families to grieve over. Was that worse, she wondered, to be able to see the death? Or would it be better for the body to be past recognition, so it could never taint your memories of someone?

  “How do you do it?” Janine asked softly, her warm brown eyes full of concern as they roved Kasia’s face. Kasia didn’t know what expression she was making, but it must have been bad for Janine to lose her usual joviality.

  “How could you— You knew him. I don’t think I could have been that strong.” She shook her head.

  A lump formed in Kasia’s throat. She couldn’t help but turn her head discreetly in his direction. Wojciek was staring straight at her, his green eyes blazing with calculation. Kasia didn’t think she would enjoy knowing what it was that he was thinking about at that moment.

  “I lie to myself.” Kasia looked away from Wojciek quickly, ducking her head and leaning on her knees, “I tell myself it’s just meat. It was never something alive. Something I knew. And then, when the job is done… then I let myself feel.”

  Kasia felt something warm and thick as a tree limb wrap around her back. “I’m impressed.” Isaak’s voice, like dark honey, praised her. “To perform an autopsy and remain objective with someone you knew and cared about… that can’t be easy.”

  Kasia smiled, the lump in her throat turning warm and soft, “You don’t…don’t think it’s hideous for a young woman to cut up corpses?” Her Uncle Nathan had warned Kasia that they often had to explain their methods to grieving family who did not understand why their kin’s corpse needed to be defiled. The Creators forbade stealing or defiling corpses— but exceptions were made for those who served a greater purpose: Knight Hunters, Inquisitors, Priests and so on.

  “I think it's brave—to look death in the face and not shrink away.”

  Kasia blushed and dropped her eyes to stare at the ochre liquid in her cup. Tightening her fingers around the clay mug, she lifted her glass, "To Ivar."

  "To Ivar." The rest murmured softly and drank.

  Kasia leaned into Isaak's side, as much as their chairs would allow, and looked at Janine and Andrew when she spoke, "So what do we want to do today? We could play a game, go for a walk, shoot arrows, search the beach for rocks that look like dicks…" Kasia shrugged one shoulder. What she really wanted to do was lay in bed and kiss Isaak but, that wasn't really an option with Wojciek there. Even now Kasia could feel his eyes boring into her, like hot coals.

  In the end they headed to the beach to find the most profanely shaped rocks they could, with a grumbling Wojciek in tow, along the rocky path to the beach.

  When they arrived, Kasia and Janine kicked off their boots and wiggled their toes in the soft white sand.

  They had a sand castle building contest. Kasia and Isaak against Janine and Andrew. Once the castles were completed, they made war on each other, flicking small rocks at the battlements like siege engines. Kasia would crow triumphantly every time a rock ‘stuck’ into her friend’s castle, while Andrew called out colorful invectives at Kasia and Isaak. Isaak seemed to enjoy the game most of all, especially Andrew’s insults, and lobbed a few of his own.

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  Andrew and Janine succeeded in taking down Kasia and Isaak's castle first, at which point Isaak declared that a monster had shown up to make war with the kingdom- so he and Kasia chased Janine and Andrew around the beach while making lots growling sounds and curling their fingers like claws.

  After a long chase, King Andrew and Queen Janine were tackled by the monsters and their once great kingdom fell into myth. And sand.

  Laughing and tickling each other, they took turns playing chase.

  When it was Isaak’s turn, he scooped Kasia up in his great arms and devoured her lips in a kiss. When Andrew and Janine complained, Isaak carried Kasia as he chased the two shrieking youths and, when they were close enough, Kasia reached out and grabbed them. Then both she and Isaak planted sloppy kisses on their cheeks until the couple surrendered.

  Afterward, they cuddled with their respective partner in the sand, watching the clouds and waves until the sun began to set and Wojciek announced loudly that it was time to return to the castle.

  The trio were quiet as they walked, sand turning to dirt, the soft sighs of their steps changing in concert.

  Wojciek walked confidently forward at Kasia’s side, and a single look from him had Andrew and Janine falling back, their faces full of apology. But he was the Knight Captain— what could they do? That was the thing about authority. Like a blade, you didn’t have to unsheathe it for its presence to be felt.

  “You’re wasting your time.” Wojciek’s voice was low; his words were meant for Kasia’s ears alone. “He’ll leave one day, soon, and you’ll have nothing.”

  Kasia turned to glance at him and saw those unnerving apple green eyes studying her in that way that made her feel like a corpse on her uncle Nathan’s autopsy table.

  “But I’m still here.” The words were quiet. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Whether or not Wojciek had meant the words to sound reassuring, they came out as a threat.

  Kasia clenched her teeth, "And what makes you so sure I won't go with him, hm? Haven't I told you countless times about how I want to leave Gdansk and see the world? Aren’t you getting sick of spending your whole life in the same place?"

  “I’m a seasoned hunter, Katarzyna. I’ve seen the world. And I’ll see more of it still.” Wojciek countered. “And you’re not a huntress yet. You’re not going anywhere.”

  "If you've seen the world and plan to see more, why do you begrudge me for wanting the same?" Why was she even entertaining this conversation?!

  “You’re welcome to come with me.” The corners of Wojciek’s lips pulled up. “It’s often lonely being a hunter.”

  That surprised Kasia, "That's the first time you've ever offered me something I actually wanted. I might have been interested if you had tried to court me like that in the beginning." She probably shouldn't have admitted that, but his offer had taken her completely off guard. Feeling uncomfortable, she shrugged and slowed her pace, trying to close the distance between them and her friends.

  “I’m not a monster, Katarzyna. Why do you insist on treating me like one?”

  Kasia's back went stiff. Damnit, he'd reeled her back in. She moved back into step with him.

  "What would you call someone who tried to marry you without ever saying a word about it? You asked my Tatu?, as if he would just hand me over like a sack of grain! Then when you asked me– you assumed I would say yes without having made the slightest effort to earn my regard! As if just being a ‘good hunter’ is all that matters in a marriage! And that it was time for me to put my childish dreams of being a knight aside to start a family with you?! I don't think you're a monster, Wojciek. I think you're a selfish ass."

  “Spicy. I like your fire, Red.”

  Kasia’s vision went white hot with rage. Her small body wasn’t big enough to contain the explosion of emotions going off inside her. It wasn’t that she was disgusted by Wojciek’s interest in her. Had he come to her with genuine interest in her as a person, wanted to know her dreams and help make them come true– just as she would do for the one she loved, it wouldn’t have been so awful. But Wojciek seemed to think marriage was more like breeding horses– you found the ones that would yield the best foals and that was all there was to it.

  "I hate that nickname!" She tugged at the red rope around her neck. The unease it gave her roiled in her stomach like coiling snakes. "Wearing the token of the monster that-that did that to Ivar." She broke off, her throat choked with emotion.

  Wojciek merely grunted.

  After a few minutes the silence became unbearable. "I don't understand this creature, Wojciek. It toyed with me, tortured and brutalized Bruno, and fought Ivar, but didn't maul him." She shook her head, "It doesn’t make any sense! Why wouldn't it have killed me!? Do you think this thing is different from whatever killed the hart? But the teeth and claw marks …" Wojciek would know. Wojciek was the best hunter after her father and uncles. He would be able to make sense of this. And it would get him to stop talking about marriage.

  “I don’t believe in understanding monsters. They are beasts unruled by logic. We kill them. That’s the job.” Wojciek answered calmly.

  "But if we can figure out what it's doing- we can be prepared! We can trap it!" Kasia protested. "Bruno was tortured, the soldier cut in half— does it especially hate foreigners? Ivar's homeland is close, maybe that's what made the difference."

  “You’ll hurt that pretty head of yours if you keep thinking about it having motivations and desires like a human. It’s an animal. We’ll hunt it like any other animal.” Wojciek’s voice growled slightly.

  Kasia heard the anger in his tone and fell silent. "I'm sorry." She said softly. She wasn't sure why she was sorry, but she felt like she had done something wrong. Maybe it was insensitive to try and make sense of Ivar's murder. Because even if there was a reason, that didn't change anything. It was something that never should have happened in the first place.

  “Ivar was a dear friend. I’ll kill that beast.” Wojciek replied softly. “He deserved better.”

  "Yes, he did. He was a good man," Kasia agreed sadly. "I'm sorry you lost your friend. I liked him a lot."

  This time, when they fell silent, it was comfortable. They walked the rest of the way back to the castle without speaking. At the gates, Kasia bid Wojciek goodnight, then went to the Cantina for dinner with her friends.

  “Going out again?” Andrew asked Kasia quietly.

  Kasia nodded.

  They stood in line to collect their rations, then went to their usual table in the back right next to the window. This table had been ‘their’ spot since their very first year together. They got it by joining the knights that previously sat there and talked their ears off and asked so many questions that one day all of the knights simultaneously decided they wanted to sit somewhere else. The rest was history.

  "I can't believe you got away with slapping Wojciek and basically putting him in timeout at the inn." Janine clapped her hands and cackled. "He must want you bad to let you get away with all that!"

  Kasia shrugged, but couldn’t hide her grimace. "I have never been able to read Wojciek 's emotions well. But if he punished me or reported me, then he'd have to admit to how he is the one that started it."

  "He watched you make out with another man.” Janine snickered, “I don't understand how he thinks he stands a chance." She glanced around before adding in a whisper, "it's almost a little sad."

  Kasia poked at her cabbage pottage, flipping one of the large chunks of cabbage over in the bed of grains, "He thinks Isaak is just a fling; that he'll leave and break my heart and then I'll come crying into his waiting arms."

  Janine shifted her weight and stared down at her bowl as she spoke, "I mean, except for that last part, is he wrong? Isn't that what you've been saying this whole time?" her eyes crept up to meet Kasia’s.

  Kasia was quiet for a while. She continued to flip that same piece of cabbage.

  "I don't know…but I think this is more than a fling. I told him I loved him today." her voice was near a whisper as she spoke the last sentence. She bit her lip, uncertain if she regretted sharing that bit of information. If she loved Isaak and he didn’t love her back, it would be all the more humiliating when he left if more people knew. She didn’t want to be seen as a weak vacuous girl who had been foolish enough to give her whole heart to a man who was clearly on his way out the door.

  "What?!" Janine shrieked, "Do you?!"

  Andrew began choking on a chunk of cabbage and Janine pounded his back while he struggled for air.

  “You what?! You do?!” he choked out after the offending vegetable had finally cleared his throat.

  Kaisa’s brows furrowed and she blushed, folding her hands in her lap, rubbing at the creases in her pant-leg. She glanced around the room to see if anyone was eavesdropping on their conversation. There were several glances their way, but they were more focused on Andrew who had just been choking and was now yelling.

  "Yeah… I do.” She felt the weight of the truth settling into her when she spoke the words out loud.

  “And…I might have tried to have sex with him, but he stopped me." She spat the last sentence out as if it were a single word, eager to rid herself of the taste.

  Janine looked like she was about to have a seizure, "YOU WHAT?!!" She reached over and yanked the spoon of pottage out of Andrew’s mouth so he wouldn’t choke again as he echoed her in shock.

  Kasia shushed her friends, looking around at all the knights and initiates who had looked over curiously. Her face felt like it was on fire.

  "Why did he stop you?!" Janine hissed, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check.

  “Why did you do it?!” Andrew countered, “I thought– You always said you were waiting for–you know— for…marriage.” he whispered the last word conspiratorially, looking around him to make certain that dreaded word had not been overheard by anyone.

  "He…he said I wasn't ready." Kasia chewed her lip, answering Janine’s question first. “And I was going to wait; I mean, I had always planned to…but…I think I like the idea of sharing yourself with someone you love, even if it doesn’t last forever.” She looked anywhere but at Andrew. For some reason admitting this change of heart felt like she had failed in some way. Changing your mind meant you didn’t have strong convictions— or you were too weak to keep the ones you claimed to have. But it wasn’t reasonable that someone could never change their mind about something!

  When she finally braved a look at Andrew, he was studying her with the same intensity he used on the cadavers they studied in class.

  Kasia wanted to yell at him to say what he was thinking. His judgement of her mattered.

  “Woah…” Janine's eyes were the size of dinner plates, "So you're going to sneak out to try again?!"

  "No!” Kasia waved her hands in front of her, “I… just want to see him. Be alone with him. Maybe have that talk with Sondra…"

  Janine sobered a bit, her smile slipping, "Do you think you're ready?"

  Kasia shrugged, staring at the whorls in the wooden planks of the dining table. Janine had been sleeping with Andrew since she was sixteen. She was the last person that Kasia had expected to tell her to wait. "I don't know. It felt like it at the time…. But I was also thinking about how Ivar died so young and all the crap Wojciek had said… I’m scared that–that if I don’t do it now then it’s going to happen in some way that’s awful. Like somehow Wojciek will convince my Tatu? to make me marry him and then–"

  Andrew laid a heavy, warm hand over hers.

  Janine clicked her tongue, her expression positively feline. "Well, well, well,despite all his bravado, I think you're right. I think this must be more than a fling to him too."

  Andrew was grinning crookedly, shaking his head “I never thought he’d ever stop you. Don’t misunderstand me–I like the guy; He’s a lot of fun. But I was sure he’d jump into your pants the first chance that he got.”

  “Red.” someone sneered behind her.

  Kasia glanced over her shoulder to see Harold walking past them with his meal. "Who spit in your stew?"

  “Me?” Harold turned around in surprise. “I didn’t say anything. Hearing things, are you?”

  Kasia shrugged, “You just sounded upset. My mistake.” She turned back to her friends and her dinner.

  Kasia went to bed after dinner, which was another way of saying that she snuck out to the village through the secret passages hidden in the castle.

  When she arrived at the inn, the first thing she did was search for Sondra. Sondra was cleaning the tavern area, which was mostly empty. There was a slice of nutty bread and hot drink with steam curling off of it sitting on a table, but no one was nearby. Perhaps one of the patrons had gone to relieve themselves.

  When Sondra spotted her, she beamed, and pulled out the chair next to the table with the inviting treat. Kasia raised her eyebrows. Sondra couldn’t have possibly known she was coming. Kasia had snuck out that much, had she? “That’s for me?”

  “Who else would it be for? I don’t see Janine and Andrew sneaking out to my inn.” Sondra winked at her. “Welcome, sweetheart.” She held her arms outstretched to Kasia.

  Kasia embraced the woman warmly. Sondra smelled like the spices and nuts that she'd baked into the bread. It was such a comforting, homey smell, and Kasia melted into the maternal embrace.

  “I guess I am starting to become a little predictable… I’ll help you clean up. Also, I was wondering if we could talk?” She grabbed the broom resting against the bar and began to sweep.

  “Is everything okay?” Sondra looked concerned.

  “Oh! Yes, of course!” Kasia hurried to assure the innkeeper, her cheeks heating, “I just… need some advice.”

  “Really?” Sondra’s demeanor brightened, “I am happy to talk. Or listen. Anytime. What do you need?” Sondra grabbed a cloth and began wiping tables.

  Kasia continued sweeping, moving to be near Sondra. “Well,” She stared at the floor very intently, studying the well-worn wooden planks. “Things are going pretty well with Isaak… I told him I loved him today.” her heart felt like it had moved to her throat. Was it too soon? Would Sondra chastise her for falling for someone who was just passing through?

  Sondra’s smile was knowing, “And do you?”

  Kasia’s heart thudded harder and she worried her lip between her teeth. “Yes–I–yes. I know he doesn’t feel the same way about me but, I know he cares about me. At least, I’m quite sure he does.” Her face felt like it was going to burn off. It sounded so stupid saying it out loud! I love a man and he doesn’t love me, isn’t that great?

  “Oh you’re so cute!” Sondra threw up her arms like a little girl. “My little Kasia, in love!”

  She tossed the rag she’d been scrubbing tables with toward the kitchen and jumped up to sit on one of the sturdy tables, patting the table exuberantly, “Tell me more!”

  Kasia glanced around to see if any of the straggling patrons were eavesdropping. Okay, maybe if Sondra was excited it wasn’t so stupid. That was good, right? She set the broom aside and sat down beside Sondra, grabbing the sweet cake and breaking it in half to share with the older woman.

  “Well, I knew I more than liked him but today it just kind of hit me… I–” She coughed. Just how honest should she be? Sondra passed her the mug of warm tea and nodded encouragingly.

  “I…Might have tried to have sex with him.” Kasia couldn’t look at Sondra when she said that part, and took a huge sip of the tea, burning her tongue. She winced, rubbing the smarting muscle against the roof of her mouth, trying to soothe it.

  “You had sex?!” Sondra had to clap her hands over her mouth to quiet her exclamation.

  “No-I,” Kasia’s eyes watered a little. Maybe he had stopped her because he thought she was just a little girl and thought she wasn’t old enough for a serious, adult relationship. “He stopped me.”

  “Really?” Sondra’s mouth hung open. If anything, she seemed even more surprised than Andrew and Janine had.

  “He said I wasn’t ready. And maybe I’m not.” Kasia twiddled her thumbs together around the hot mug. “I don’t know. I do know I want it to be him. He makes me feel safe and… like myself. Just Kasia. And all of these feelings just exploded inside of me and the words just came out! And then I knew.” She took another drink of the tea, far more carefully this time as she waited for Sondra’s response.

  “I thought that you might.” Sondra laid a hand over Kasia’s. “He is a handsome man. And you’ve been spending a lot of time with him. Charming too. Try seeing him every day. I’d gobble him up if I wasn’t married.” She sighed wistfully, then winked at Kasia.

  She continued, “I am happy for you, my darling. Have you ever been in love before?”

  Kasia shook her head.

  “Oh. First love. There’s nothing like it.” Sondra’s eyes were sparkling with delight, her gaze going far away. She refocused her gaze on Kasia, sitting up straighter, “Well, what was the advice that you need? Or did you just want me to listen?”

  “Right. Sorry… Well,” Kasia took a bite of the sweet cake, chewing as she worked up her nerve, “How do you know when you’re ready to have sex?”

  Sondra’s eyebrows raised. It appeared that that had not been the question she had been expecting. She recovered quickly though, “Hmm… that’s a tough one. But if you’re asking, then Isaak was right. You’re not ready.” Sondra answered kindly. “But that’s okay. You can only give away your first time once. You should be picky.”

  Kasia scoffed and folded her arms over her chest, a little defensive, “I’m only asking because he said I wasn’t ready! I was ready to do it!”

  “Why?” Sondra took Kasia’s glass and took a small sip from it before handing it back. Her expression was one Kasia imagined her own mother would have given her.

  Kasia shrank under that look, her vindication from a moment before completely evaporated, “B-because I love him. So why wait any longer?”

  “That’s the reason why you tried to make love to him today? You were going to make love, right?”

  Kasia shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “I… I wanted to give it to him. I wanted to be his before I die or-someone else takes it.”

  “Well then he’s just rude to have stopped you.” Sondra smirked playfully. “I noticed that Wojciek was here today. He had nothing to do with your decision?”

  Kasia folded her arms around herself, feeling chastened, “He told me today that he plans to make me a woman…his woman.” Kasia’s eyes watered a bit, but she rubbed them until she was in control again. “But I don’t want him. I want Isaak. Isn’t that a good reason?”

  “Sounds like you wanted sex out of spite. Isaak was right. You’d have regretted your first time. Your first time should be magical.” Sondra’s tone was gentle, but there was a firm undertone. “It’ll be your most cherished memory, when you’re ready.”

  Kasia slumped forward in the chair, her chin resting on the wooden table. “Janine and Andrew had their first time three years ago. I feel… left behind. I feel like time is running out. That something bad is coming and is going to take everything away and I’ll never have the chance to be with someone I love…with Isaak.”

  Sondra grabbed Kasia’s shoulders and made the girl look at her. “You’re not running behind. You’re doing just fine. Andrew and Janine had their first moment together when they felt good. When they were happy. They were surrounded with love when they gave themselves to each other. You should have the same. Right now, you are surrounded by a dark cloud. Chin up, girl. You’ll have your moment when you’re ready.”

  Kasia’s eyes watered and she hugged Sondra tightly. Then she pulled back and looked at Sondra with an impish gleam in her eye, “What about other stuff? Janine said you taught her about… am I ready for other stuff?”

  Sondra looked around and saw that they were alone in the tavern. “Kasia?” Sondra said in mock horror. And then bit her lip. “Are you lustful?”

  Kasia bit her lip. “I… kissing isn’t enough. I want more.”

  “You’ve pleasured yourself, right? What young woman hasn’t?” Sondra was now asking very personal questions and Kasia had to cover her face with her hands. She nodded from behind them.

  “Have you touched him? Have you let him touch you?” Sondra words were a little faster, and there was an excited gleam in her eye. It seemed the middle aged woman liked talking about sex.

  A furrow appeared in Kasia’s brow, “I’ve touched his…cock–” she almost choked on the word, “And he has caressed me in turn… is that what you mean?”

  Sondra nodded, her smile wicked, “Yes, but have you pleasured each other? Have you tasted him?”

  The knit in Kasia’s brow deepened. “Tasted?” She had heard knights speaking about women’s lips around their cocks.. That must be what Sondra meant. “No… I don’t know how. Do I just…kiss it?”

  “You’d start with some kisses.” Sondra wiggled happily in her chair, sitting up straighter. “Is that something that you want? To pleasure your handsome woodsman?”

  Kasia let out a small scream of horror and set her head on the table while she took several long, deep breaths. She could do this. She could do this. Gods this was hard to talk about. But if she couldn’t even talk about it, then they were definitely right that she should not be doing it. Kasia did not want them to be right.

  She sat up straight and said firmly, “I want to make him happy. I want to make him feel the way he makes my heart feel.”

  Sondra giggled. She actually fucking giggled. “Are you nervous?”

  Kasia bit the inside of her cheek to control her emotions and nodded. “I’m scared I won’t do it right. That it won’t feel good for him…and that he’ll laugh at me.”

  Sondra cupped Kasia's cheek with tenderness, her touch soothing Kasia’s worries, “He won’t. Good or bad he’ll be in so much bliss that he’ll be incapable of laughing. Your sex isn’t the only thing capable of pleasing men. The mouth is a versatile tool.” Sondra smiled happily at Kasia. “He’ll love it. And be honest. Tell him to teach you how. Men love virgins and teaching young girls how to give pleasure. I promise he won’t think it’s funny at all.”

  Sondra then gave Kasia a few instructions as well as some tips, then with a wicked gleam in her eye ushered Kasia upstairs.

  Kasia’s legs felt like jelly as she ascended the staircase, and every creak and groan of the stairs felt like an alarm bell going off, alerting the entire inn to her intentions.

  When she stood in front of Isaak’s door, she felt faint. I could leave now, slip back out the door and no one would be the wiser. I could try this again another time? Ooh, but I want to see him so much… Her heart sped at the thought of her ‘love’ and she felt a longing so profound that her hand grabbed the doorknob of its own accord.

  She opened Isaak's door, and the feeling of rightness that she felt when she saw him lit her inside like a dawning sun. "Hey. I missed you. That was a long three hours apart."

  Isaak was covered in sweat and still dressed. “There you are! Sondra needed some wood for tonight. I just got back.” He smiled at her and she felt weak. “Are you feeling any better?”

  Kasia skipped over to kiss him, wrapping a leg around his to boost herself up so she could reach his lips, "Much."

  Oh fuck, these kisses. Kasia locked her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss, feeling his hands reach up to cup her ass, supporting her weight, "Oh it's so nice not having a babysitter waiting downstairs." she moaned.

  Isaak kissed her neck as he held her body close. His hot breath ran down her shoulder, “Yeah, fuck Wojciek.”

  “I’d rather fuck you.” Kasia purred boldly. She felt herself flush, but kept her expression as sober as she could. She was both proud and embarrassed that she had the gall to say that.

  “What have you done to my huntress, imposter?” Isaak smirked. His eyes studied hers, seeming to search for something.

  Kasia felt embarrassed, but pushed it aside. Determination welled inside of her, steeling her heart. She hopped out of his arms and stared up at him with the same ferocity she would use challenging someone on the battlefield, “Get on the bed, Isaak.”

  The corners of Isaak’s mouth twitched, but he ascended his head in a slight bow, “Yes, my lady.”

  Isaak took several steps back to the bed, then sat and reclined, still dressed. Shirt, pants, and all.

  Kasia stripped off her boots and then her clothes and climbed onto the bed after him. She pulled off his shirt and boots and threw them on the floor. Then she pushed his legs apart and knelt between them. With slightly trembling hands, she began untying the laces of his breeches.

  Kasia found the act intimate and enjoyable and exactly what she had been needing to express just how she felt about her woodsman. After he had found his pleasure, she looked up at him and beamed. She knew he had enjoyed it.

  “That was fantastic.” Isaak purred softly.

  "I did well?" She asked shyly.

  Isaak closed his eyes in relaxation and pulled Kasia to his bare chest. His fingers glided through her hair. “You did wonderfully.”

  He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then said, “I hope that I don’t offend you, but why? I haven’t promised to stay and marry you.”

  "I know.” She kissed his chest softly, “But I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said to me a while back– about how life is so uncertain. That when you have happiness sitting right there in front of you- you should grab it. When you are in love with someone, don’t hold yourself back. That pain and risk are the price of happiness. I love you, Isaak. You make me happy, and I wanted to share this…share myself with you." She leaned up, pressing her lips to his. His taste hit her just as strongly as it had the first time. She could get drunk on his kisses. She slid her tongue into his mouth, desperate for more.

  As they kissed passionately, Isaak slowly rolled her onto her back. His lips found hers again, his hands caressing her naked body beneath him. “That is terribly romantic, huntress.”

  He began to kiss her neck, then down her collarbone. And then he did something that they hadn’t yet done before. He kissed her breast.

  Kasia let out a surprised gasp. The heat in her eyes turned molten. "Don't stop." She practically growled the order.

  His lips twisted into a mischievous smile. He seemed pleased when she gave him orders. Obediently, he continued to kiss down her stomach.

  His brown hair fell off of his shoulders and tickled the inside of her thighs. His hot breath kissed her softly. “Nervous?”

  “Yes!” Kasia gasped, “And excited, and happy too!”

  "Well I wouldn't want to overwhelm you so soon," He laughed playfully, He teasingly slid away from her, implying that he would stop.

  Kasia shot forward and fisted his hair, “Don’t you dare!”

  "Of course not." His expression was gleeful. He enjoyed pushing her.

  Isaak had to cover her mouth to keep her from waking the entire inn.

  When he was finished, she was panting and her throat was raw from screaming. There were stars in her eyes. “Well, if I didn’t love you before…” she laughed, pulling him close to kiss him.

  Isaak crawled back up to her side as they kissed, until he slid a leg over her and straddled her waist. His hands pinned hers to the bed. "That is only a taste," He licked his lips, "of the pleasures that await you, my lady."

  His eyes flared with hungry desire, the look of a hunter who has found his prey. The same look that was in his eyes the morning that they had met. As if a beast had awoken within him. Kasia’s eyes widened and her heart raced. He looked at her like he wanted to devour every part of her, body and soul. She wanted it as much as she feared it. Was he going to take her now? Did she want him to?

  “I am your eager student, sir.” she demurred. By the Creators, how she wanted him. But even though she wanted this, she couldn’t hide the fear in her eyes.

  Isaak fell upon her and kissed her until she was delirious. He continued to hold her to the bed, their bodies impossibly close. Every part of her was hyper aware of his where it molded to hers. Her chest tightened with anxiety.

  "But," She gently pulled her lips from his. Hopefully he wouldn't reject her. "I'm not ready."

  It took all of her courage not to disentangle herself from him. Both because she feared the pain of his rejection and she feared that her will would fail her if he pushed for more.

  "Of course." He whispered tenderly. He kissed her again and pulled his body closer to hers.

  They spent the rest of the night giving and receiving pleasure from each other. When Kasia finally fell asleep in Isaak’s arms, she was spent and sated in a way she’d never known before…

  ________________________________________

  The next morning, at the Cantina, Kasia told Janine that she had finally had that talk with Sondra.

  Janine got up, looked around to make sure that they had some good space, then sat as close to Kasia as humanly possible. “Tell! Me! Every! Detail!”

  Kasia flushed. “Well…first, I am sorry I have been giving you and Andrew such a hard time about fucking all the time…” she blushed further, “I get it now. It’s all I want to do.” she bit her lip, glancing around before giving Janine the very intimate details of her previous night. When she finished, she shook her head. “I… I like him too much. Maybe it’s the orgasms. I can’t stop thinking about when I can see him again.”

  “Ahhhhh,” Janine squealed like a little girl while kicking her feet. “I told you he was good looking! I knew that he’d be good in bed. You lucky girl! Tell me about his body! He’s been wearing clothes all day in my head.”

  Andrew jabbed her in the ribs. “Hey! I’m right here!”

  “And you’ll stay quiet!!!” Janine hissed. “This is girl time!”

  Kasia was unable to stop her smile from growing. She felt stupidly happy. And scared. She liked Isaak a lot. She loved him. She wanted a future with him. And that scared her.

  He had come to Gdansk to meet the three legendary hunters. But after having met them, he stayed. Could that mean he wanted a future with her as well? Kasia voiced all of this out loud to Janine, who was quick to agree with her hopes.

  “Ehh, I’d be careful Kasia.” Andrew interrupted, “Guys…when they’re in bed with a pretty girl will say a lot of things just to make her happy. But listen to what he’s not saying as well. He hasn’t told you he’s staying. He hasn’t told you he loves you.”

  Kasia’s heart sank just a little. Andrew was right.

  Janine studied Andrew suspiciously, “What have you said to me in bed just to make me happy?”

  Andrew looked panicked, then smiled, “That your farts don’t stink.”

  Janine shrieked and leaped across the table to begin beating Andrew, who happily endured the blows so he could grab Janine around the waist and yank her onto his lap to kiss her. Janine resisted all of one second before she was kissing him back deeply. Instead of feeling jealous and lonely like she normally did when her friends behaved like this, Kasia found herself smiling stupidly at them, happy to see her friends find such happiness in each other.