The moonlight shone through the window and kissed me roughly. I lay there feeling violated in the constant hum of my body. My body shivered, now fully awake.

  The moon looked at me cruelly, and I looked at them pleadingly.

  My body and mind stopped being my own. My mind started to play memories that would forever haunt me in my dreams and in my waking moments.

  I just woke up from a nightmare, but... am being pulled into something worse... something I don't want to keep reliving at every waking moment.

  The more I try to stop it, the more it hurts, and when I finally close my eyes, the pain goes away.

  I slowly drifted further into the depths of my mind.

  When I opened them again, I was no longer looking at the moonlight from my manor's window but from Sakas Academy. No longer lying on the sofa, I was upright, floating aimlessly in my old dorm.

  It was an out-of-body experience...

  When I looked around, I saw a younger version of myself lying asleep.

  During my earlier years at the academy, it was difficult and rare for me to get any sleep...

  Subconsciously, my brain was aware of their approach. My body already knew what was about to happen.

  I heard them before I saw them. I heard their faint footsteps outside the door until they grew louder. The door banged open, and I woke up startled.

  My younger self had a stupid look on his face before he realized there were people in our room.

  Before he could do anything, he was thrown off the bed and banged his hand hard on the cold wooden floor. He was flipped around onto his stomach, his arms pinned above his head, and he didn't move; he stayed still.

  He didn't try to fight the guy hovering above him. He knew from experience that it could get much worse.

  The first time he tried to fight back, he ended up with a black eye and... something else I would rather forget. The second time... it was even worse.

  The fucked thing is... I... no... he liked it.

  The last time he tried fighting back, he... he was trying so hard not to... fall into despair that... he imagined he was being loved by someone he knew.

  And that was the last time he tried to fight again.

  He felt so guilty that he couldn't live with himself.

  So, he accepted what was being done by him.

  It was just his life punishment.

  It's his fault for having those dirty fucking thoughts; he deserves what came next.

  The guy violating him wasn't that much older than him, maybe 3 years older, making him 15 or 16.

  The boy felt the burning agony. The pain was grounding; it let him know he was living in real life.

  This wasn't a nightmare; it was his life.

  I didn't look away from the boy. I listened to his pained, choked sobs.

  The first time I had these types of nightmares, I tried to help the boy, but... then I would get sucked into the boy's body and feel his pain.

  I would have to relive those things again.

  I shivered at the thought...

  I was better off just watching.

  Better him than me... again.

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  The older boy wouldn't stop until the younger boy passed out from exhaustion.

  I would stay stuck here watching until that happened... and I wouldn't look away... even if I could.

  Oddly, I felt a strong scent hit me. A strong mix of pine wafted around the air along with the sweet scent of honey.

  That's... not a scent I recognize...

  Alphas don't smell like that... an earthy scent is usually tied to a beta, and a sweet one is usually associated with an omega.

  I felt my body grow loose.

  I was waking up again.

  When I opened my eyes, the moon greeted me.

  I sat up and took a dazed look around the room. Only to find myself alone.

  Where did Lilas and Kitayana go?

  I slowly got up and made my way out into the hallway.

  The more I walked, the more the scent grew stronger.

  I followed the smell out to the hallway until I found the source.

  At the very end of the hallway, there was a slightly open door.

  "Lilas, hurry up."

  "Kitayana, you can't rush this. Hurry and sit down. You know how this spell works."

  "Yeah, yeah." She unbuttoned her nightgown and let it slide off her shoulders, "Don't peek."

  "Kitayana, you act like it's nothing I haven't seen," Lilas said as he sat down behind her and placed his hand on her back. "Well, it's more like there is nothing much to see." He laughed.

  Is Lilas blind?

  "Hey, not true!"

  What are they doing?

  "Whatever."

  Lilas grew quiet and closed his eyes. The air around him buzzed with energy. Kitayana glowed a hot pink color that faded into navy blue. Lilas began to glow a faint light green.

  "There, that should do it until the end of the week."

  "What, I thought–"

  "Kitayana, you are an omega, and since Aalackai is alpha, he's going to have a strong effect on you. Now that we'll be together constantly. Your body is going to need the spell more frequently than you used to."

  "Then what about you? Mr. Beta?"

  "What about me? I'm fine. I am more human-like than both you and Aalackai combined."

  I pushed the door open, and that's when the honey pine scent slapped me across the face.

  As the door creaked open, they both looked. Kitayana looked shocked... almost sick with dread to see me, Lilas, and... I couldn't read his face.

  When I saw them both looking at me, it was like a dam burst open within me. All those feelings I usually held down came bubbling up to the surface.

  "Aalackai," Lilas said as he stood up.

  "All those times I came to the two of you ...I confided in you guys," I said in defeated frustration.

  I ran my hand through my hair, "I cried to the two of you." I chuckled in disbelief.

  I blew the air out from my lungs, "I complained about being an Alpha." I hissed out.

  All my past complaints must've been a joke to them...

  I feel ridiculous... humiliated.

  It felt like the world was crushing down on my lungs... and they didn't seem to care.

  They didn't say a thing, I couldn't read anything from their faces, and that fact just made me feel even more ashamed.

  "The two of you didn't have the decency to tell me the truth. All those times the both of you just sat there and comforted me... Am I a joke to you? Do you think I wouldn't be able to handle it?" I lashed out.

  How many times did I go crying into their arms?

  "We didn't want to make it about us..." Lilas said calmly, "Kitayana didn't have the chance to tell you... You were already gone that morning."

  Kitayana shook her head in response, "I was never going to tell anybody... If Lilas didn't see me that night, I would've kept to myself. I would've found a way to hide it." She said without a hint of hesitation.

  Lilas didn't look surprised by her response.

  "Is that supposed to comfort me?" I asked with trembling hands. As seconds grew longer, my hand started to numb.

  "No, I was just telling you the truth."

  I nodded, "Lilas, were you ever going to tell me the truth?" I asked with a shaking voice.

  But I already knew the answer.

  My body felt like an ice-cold bucket had been thrown at me.

  "No, it's not because I don't trust you, far from that. It's just... It's my secret to share." He explained, "It's not anyone's business that includes my mother and the people of this kingdom," He said those words angrily and then took a deep breath before continuing, "I am the crown prince of this kingdom. A kingdom known for producing a royal alpha line. The simple truth is that if people found out about my situation, they'll question my right to rule." Lilas explained calmly.

  Almost like...

  "That sounds really well rehearsed. Tell me how long it took for you to come up with that?" I gave him a moment to respond, but he didn't; he just looked at me, "Alright, then let me guess. You had that little speech ready the moment I set foot in this kingdom again?" I accused, uncaring about how I sounded to them.

  Lilas didn't say anything.

  "I know you, Lilas, if I didn't come across the two of you tonight, you and Kitayana wouldn't have told me. Not ever."

  "Aalackai, you have the right to be upset. But–"

  "Kitayana, there are no buts here. I don't care... that you wanted to keep the truth hidden. What I care about is... hurting you both... my actions and my words. It hurt being left in the dark..." I whispered that last part quietly.

  It hurts... It fucking hurts so much.

  I took a deep breath, but the world still felt like it was coming down on me.

  "The thing is... I would have told both of you the truth if I were in your shoes... but I understand now that all 3 of us aren't the same..." Looking at Lilas, I say to him, "The least you could have done is stop lying to my face... at the very least, Kitayana was honest after being found out."

  We stood in silence, not saying a thing. Kitayana looked outside the window while Lilas stood staring at the wooden floor.

  "Scared people... hurt others, but that doesn't mean they're evil. It just means the world didn't make a safe enough place for them to feel safe." I gave them a watery smile and walked out of the room.

  I am a reminder of what they wanted to be, and I hate that I am.