It was a bright new morning, even though I woke up underground I had an impeccable internal clock so I was sure it was morning. Getting dressed, covering myself from head to toe, I exited the small hole in the rock I called home. Following the tunnel I reached the main residential district, other people were already awake and going about their business. They mostly ignored me as I towered over them, only throwing me a couple of annoyed stares, as much as I covered myself to hide my appearance it couldn’t change my height.
As I neared the exit to the colony less people were around me which made me relax a little. Most goblins feared the outside, spending most of their lives hearing tales about beasts that roamed the forest around us and harpies swooping down to grab even full adult goblins, let alone children. The exception to that rule were the goblin warriors, fearsome hunter-gatherers that braved the forests, gallantly riding their wolves, to bring meat to the colony. Although us goblins were omnivores, we couldn’t quite grow anything both inside and outside of the colony so the meat that they brought was invaluable for us and that made their status high.
As for myself although I was one of the brave few to venture outside the safety of the colony I was no warrior, I was simply the stable girl taking care of the wolves. No glory for poor little Signy, not that I wanted any, I was already infamous enough within the colony just by existing, I didn’t wanted to stand out any more than necessary. Managing the wolves was just the perfect job for someone like myself, away from the judging eyes of others and surrounded by the fluffy cuties that silently supported our tribe for generations.
Cleaning the pens, feeding, nurturing and playing with the pups, grooming them and taking care of any potential injuries were all part of my job description and I fulfilled my role impeccably so that even if someone had a problem with me they couldn’t find any fault in my work. I always wanted to work with animals, as far back as I can remember, even before… It was a tiresome work that needed me always on my feet, that’s why I took pride in the stamina I had build, only rivaled by the warriors and the wolves themselves of course.
Life wasn’t perfect, there were a lot of points that I wished it to be better, in fact I remember crying myself to sleep at the reality of my situation when I was younger. That was until I realized that time has its way of bringing a sense of normalcy even at the most unfortunate of situations. Sure I wailed and cried at my circumstances before but right now I’m content with my life, I have accepted my identity as Signy the strange goblin and the role I play within the tribe. As the sun was beginning to set our tribes warriors returned bringing a bountiful harvest.
It was easy to accept my place in the world since there are fates worse than mine out there. Among the game that the warriors brought back were two humans, two males, most likely also hunters out looking for game. While us goblins were using bronze tools and weapons and our mines and smithies sang all day the humans were still in the stone age. While the artisans weaved fabric to cover our bodies they still wore hides. Even thought us goblins were low in the hierarchy between the various intelligent races inhabiting the world, humans didn’t even made the list.
They handed me one of the humans, as they dismounted their wolves, throwing hateful looks at me with their eyes. The reason they left one of the bodies with me was that since I was the one responsible for the wolves it was also my job to prepare their meal, meaning draining the blood and butchering the meat. This was the part of the job that I didn’t liked, butchering humans that is. And every time there was a human in the mix it always ended up with me since their omnivore diet made their meat taste bad.
With a scowl on my face I prepared the meat leaving aside my share, since I wasn’t really allowed to eat in the mess hall with the rest of the goblins. As I bit down on the raw flesh sitting next to the wolves I wondered how come they still let me sleep inside and not throw me out to sleep with the wolves, to be completely both out of sight and mind. “I guess there’s still some sense of family in them to let me stay inside.” As I was on my second bite the wolves surrounded me, having finished their meal.
“Here you go Sorbet.” I gave the wolf my share since I didn’t had much of an appetite, I never did when their was meat on the menu. I had eaten the day prior and all I could hope for was that there wouldn’t be any humans on the menu tomorrow. The sun had already set and I was finishing checking on the wolves for any injuries when they started raising a storm. Alarmed I stared at the darkness were they were barking, it hadn’t happened before that all of them went crazy. At first I feared an earthquake but for the decade or so I’ve been alive I’ve never experienced an earthquake.
I wish it was an earthquake, instead from the direction the wolves barked at a group of seven hobgoblins appeared. Although a cousin species hobgoblins were larger, stronger and meaner than any one goblin, they towered above me that stood twice as large as the average goblin. And they saw goblins as nothing but convenience, tools to do their bidding, entertainment to pass their time and food when they were hungry. I froze as they approached the wolves becoming more and more feral by the second. Two of them approached the wolf pen while the rest headed for the tribe.
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The wolves put themselves between me and the hobgoblins but it was pointless, the hobgoblins were guaranteed to win, all my precious babies could do was delay the inevitable. In my panic I didn’t noticed that one wolf wasn’t taking part of the defensive line and instead took position behind me. As soon as the two parties engaged in combat the wolf behind me also took action getting in between my legs as it lifted me up and started running. Naturally I was heavier than the average goblin which made it impossible for me to ride a wolf without injuring the poor creature. Still that didn’t mattered at that moment as my darling rushed through the gate.
I heard the whines and whimpers of pain of my dear wolves as they gave it their all to give me this chance to escape and I gritted my teeth as I held onto the wolf, making sure I wouldn’t fall. It run with all its might, putting as much distance between us and the tribe. I didn’t knew for how the wolf run, only that it was exhausted and panting by the time it stopped. I dismounted and gave it some room to breath as I sat on the grass, my whole body trembling.
I had resolved myself that I would spend the rest of my life as a goblin, part of the tribe and to have that so suddenly ripped away from me. I knew that they didn’t wanted me, that I was a misfit, an undesirable, an untouchable, even my parents abandoned me to my fate. Still, despite everything, that dark unwelcoming cave was still my home, those goblins were still my family and tribe. For everything to be so violently over… I sobbed, loudly, not caring if anything could hear me until I had not tears left to give.
The wolf joined me, licking my face to lift my spirits. “Thank you…” I looked over at it, finally recognizing which wolf acted as my stead. “Sorbet, thank you.” I started petting my good boy as he laid his head on my lap. Even thought my eyes were red and puffy he managed to put a smile on my face, at least I wasn’t alone. At least I was still alive, albeit at the sacrifice of the rest of the wolves. I fell back, laying on the grass, I was alive but I couldn’t do much in the darkness and the adrenaline had subsided leaving behind nothing but tiredness.
When I woke up my whole body was covered by sorbet, the early spring nights were still chilly so I was thankful to my boy for keeping me warm. The sun was just beginning to rise, lighting up the woods around me. Waiting for Sorbet to wake up gave me some time to put my thoughts in order. Right now I had three objectives, put as much distance between myself and the my tribe, secure a water source and find something to eat. But first I needed to say something to sorbet, a secret that I’ve been carrying my entire life.
“You know sorbet, there’s this thing I’ve been keeping from everybody. You see I have memories of my past live. In that life I was a human, but not of this world, a very different one, a cleaner, more convenient and kinder world, I don’t know how it happened that I reincarnated with my past memories but here I am, an oddity in both spirit and body. And I’m sure that having my past memories is somehow the reason behind my bizarre appearance. So what do you think Sorbet, will you stick with me now that you know the truth or leave me to my fate?”
Sorbet’s head was leaning sideways, that thing that dogs do when their paying attention, despite not understanding anything, it was honestly very cute. He approached me and started licking my face, making his stance clear. Finally having said it to someone, even if it was to a wolf, released a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t knew I had. Still it didn’t changed the fact that despite throwing away my humanity and resolving myself to live as a goblin at the end I was neither human nor goblin. I was born an outcast, a creature to be shunned and pushed away.
I guess that was what I was, a pathetic creature destined to roam this ugly world of death and violence all alone while cursed with memories of a world I will never get to experience again. Sorbet must have sensed my mood being down in the dumps and laid next to me on his back, inviting me to rub his belly. That’s right, I wasn’t alone I had my pal Sorbet with me and I needed to take care of him, after all a wolves were pack animals, a solitary one didn’t had many chances at survival out in the wild, especially a semi-domesticated one.
After I was satisfied with rubbing his belly I stood up, enough mopping around, it was time for action. Finding a good long straight stick I sharpened one end of it with a stone fashioning a crude spear. And here I was feeling sorry for the humans using stone tools, who knew I would end up even worse that them. “Sorbet do you know which way’s the tribe?” After listening to me my boy pointed towards a direction with his nose, I just had to trust him in this as I turned the other way and started walking.
We reached a small pond in the middle of the forest. It looked like a good spot to start hunting but its proximity to the tribe concerned me so it was just a short stop for us to drink some water rather than our end goal. As I leaned over the surface of the water I glimpsed at myself, still covering my entire body, I didn’t even consider taking some layers off now that I was away from the tribe given how used I was to wearing everything. And besides I had long since learned to despise my own body.
For starters goblins are green, some lighter, some darker but always green, well I failed even that and came out of the womb a bright cyan color and that’s when my parents knew I was going to be a problem. Still it wasn’t the tribe that taught me to hate my body, despite their best efforts, as I removed my face cover I was painfully reminded of my existence, too human looking to be considered a goblin and too goblin like to be considered a human, a painful mix of the two excluding me from both groups.
I wished I had a waterskin to fill but let alone goats or sheep I didn’t even knew if I’ll encounter any wild game. I was starting to regret not eating last night, even if the meat was what it was. Still as I looked up at he sun past the forest’s treeline I resolved myself, I was going to survive, no matter what.
