Journaling takes nothing and turns it into something.

  We shape the breath of life and give it form.

  Breath becomes words on a page where unseen can be seen.

  - Within and Without: A Tindin Journey With Erotica

  I was floating, and there was nothing. No eyes, no arms, no feet. Just nothing, always nothing. Something was pricking me. Pinching me. Harder.

  I gasped awake. I was in bed. In my new apartment. Just like always, the bathroom light was on, and it was still dark outside. I remembered to breathe; I was ok. Steady breath in. Then out.

  Just like childbirth. In. Out. In. Out. I was okay.

  I was alone.

  My eyes fluttered open to dim light coming in the windows. My head screamed at me. It was always screaming at me. I closed my eyes again.

  Ten weeks post-hospitalization, and my head didn’t stop hurting.

  My arm was great. My shoulder was great. I was trying to rebuild my strength, but my head always felt like there was an axe lodged in it.

  I'd had repeat brain scans, but the results were clear: the bones were healed. No fracture. No long-term damage.

  By medica ruling, I was healthy and hale, but my body didn't agree with that conclusion. By scientific standards, there was no reason for the constant, splitting headache.

  I still wasn’t working because I wasn’t really interested in it. Everything felt so overwhelming and noisy everywhere. The city was so loud. People were so loud.

  It seemed like the whole world was screaming at me all the time. Was anybody listening?

  I drifted again. That happened often. Wake up. Close eyes. Drift. I was a leaf on a smooth lake. I floated. I was calm. I was crying.

  Tears wet my pillow. It was a relief to let them fall.

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  Twelve weeks post hospitalization, I was in the dojo. My first time back. I wasn’t sparring, so I stood chachin and breathed my focus.

  I was the master of my forms. I moved. I no longer thought. I was the form, and it moved me.

  Bend. Reach. Kick. Slide. Punch. Swivel. Move. Flow. Focus.

  And I was free for a little while. Lost in movement. It felt good, like me again. I was in charge. I was in control. I knew what I was doing, and for once, I felt no pain.

  I noticed no sweat. I was the pinnacle of Starlend martial arts for those minutes.

  I was the forms, and everything else fell away.

  I slept easily that night. Finally! A respite from the constant overwhelming brain pressure. It was a relief to lie down in bed and not feel pain, just satisfaction and a pleasant drowsiness from the workout.

  There was light. I got up for a glass of water.

  No, I was in water. Water up to my neck. Cold. It was frigid. I was freezing, and there was water everywhere. I was so tired and heavy; I couldn’t move.

  “Help,” I squeaked, but there was no sound. “Help.”

  My eyes popped open, and I gasped for breath. Everything was so loud.

  My neighbor was home, and I could hear her thinking about getting cigarettes. She was angry.

  Stop! That wasn’t real. I didn’t hear anything.

  I was just tired. It was trauma, that was all. I would be fine. I would breathe, and I would get up and move through the Jendo forms. My mind would be quiet again. It would be okay.

  I just, I just had to—

  I wrapped my arms around my head. The noise was too much! I—I couldn’t do it anymore.

  “Help! Help me! Oh stars! What's wrong with me? Why is it so loud all the time? Why is everybody screaming at me? Help me, please. Is there anyone? Can anyone hear me? I’m so alone. And I’m scared, and I don’t know what to do. It’s so loud.”

  I whispered, desperate, “It’s so loud. Please help me.”

  And I fell still. Calm.

  I needed to get somewhere quiet. There were quiet places left in the Known Cosmos, right? I needed to get away from the bad memories and the noise in my brain. Far, far away from the city. Somewhere peaceful.

  I opened up my pad.

  Search: “rare vacation spheres Andromeda Galaxy.”

  Vitrax 5: treehouses on islands. No.

  Lure 17: every robot you could dream of. Pass.

  Shurwinn: Land of Oases.

  Huh. Shurwinn. Now that would be a getaway. Best chocolate in the Andromeda Galaxy. I’d never been off sphere before, and a trip to Shurwinn would be a heck of a way to start my extraplanetary adventure.

  I had to check out the tourist limitations. I scanned the information… Yes, a two-week Visitor Acceptance was required. Sign the paperwork for approval.

  Shurwinn was like nothing else in the 9 Galaxies. No one knew much about the isolationist sphere. They allowed some off spheres to visit, but you had to sign an agreement to never discuss Shurwinn outside of Shurwinn.

  No transmitting photos or videos. No talking about what you saw. No articles on your stream. A bit weird, but maybe I’d fit right in. Heh.

  The Shurwinn valued privacy, so they were secretive and reclusive, and that worked in their favor as a marketing scheme. Their goods were so prized throughout Andromeda that everything they exported sold out quickly.

  Chocolate, coffee, Marion berries, lemons, sandstone, and crafts; they presented their exports as rare Shurwinn items, and everyone from fine-dining chefs to stone masons wanted them. You didn’t want your business to fall afoul of Shurwinn tempers, so you obeyed their rules.

  You didn’t talk about Shurwinn. You let them be.

  I could rent a house, and then the rental owner would act as Guarantor for my Visitor Acceptance Application. There would be recon on me, and if I was approved, I could spend two weeks in Shurwinn.

  Cool. Sounded like the perfect getaway.

  I found a cute little house—they called it a casita—with a garden on the outskirts of the smallest oasis. Lovely.

  I rented it for two weeks, signed my agreement to the Shurwinn Code, and completed my Application. Travel arrangements made, I headed for my closet.

  This trip was perfect. Exactly what I wanted: a getaway where I knew nothing and no one. Where desert sunlight dominated, and bad memories were long forgotten.

  Nodding to myself, I started packing my trunk. Then I set my sights on Shurwinn and never looked back.