They stirred to the chorus of morning birds; dawn bathed the room in rouged tangerine. Leisha lightly snored, swaddled in her blanket. The shimmering rays insinuated her rose-pink lips and left her pale skin in a dazzle of scarlet.

  Yet light often reveals what we choose to ignore in the dark. The reality that the next few months would be hard.

  Their lodgings were, honestly, confined for two people: two cots, one lamp table, an old chair, and storage above the hearth, but manageable.

  She better be tidy, or Nahara will never hear the end of it.

  Kiara rolled their eyes at Ty’s idle threat. She tossed on animal-skin pants, a gray wool dress, and a cloak. She retrieved the paperwork for Leisha. Just real quick. She slid on their boots and greeted the morning.

  The frigid air iced their breath. They shoved the paperwork into their pockets with mitted hands and strolled toward the public rest area.

  People poured into the gates, and the market busied with servants and apprentices. They made a detour with the Innkeeper.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Vafra, how are you today?”

  “I’m well, Ms. Primava. What brings you in today? Do you need more herbs?”

  “I’m good for now, thank you.” Kiara handed her the paperwork. “I have a guest staying with me: my sister-in-law. This is her documentation; her name is Shay Traipar. My duration hasn't altered.”

  “No problem, honey. I'll get this filed.” Mrs. Vafra hummed. “Stay warm out there.”

  “You too.” They continued, paying for a turn at the community bath.

  We’ve got so much to do today, and I’m so tired.

  We’re always tired. Ty grunted. Gonna suck having to hide the attacks more.

  Thanks for holding ‘em off. Kiara gratefully voiced. I wish I could.

  You panic too much. Ty spat.

  We can't breathe.

  Freaking out makes it worse!

  Sorry. Kiara sighed. I'm just weak.

  Don't gotta be.

  Kiara returned to the Inn, Leisha lightly snored, a wispy cloud accompanied each breath.

  I’ll start the fire and boil some water. She waited for the water to boil. Powder, crystal, gone. Kiara became lost in the enchanting sight.

  Should we wake the trainee? Jayce sounded drained.

  Let her sleep. Kiara glimpsed at the peacefully dosing Leisha.

  This will be the last time she gets any real rest. Ty’s annoyance nauseated them. She has no idea what she’s gotten herself into.

  She’s Rikevra. She didn’t have any other choice. Kiara prepped.

  She folded dresses, pants, and socks neatly, prepared two tea bags, and rechecked emergency supplies.

  We’re a little low on emergency water and food rations are bleak. Kiara sighed.

  When aren’t they? Ty thrived on heavy sarcasm and borderline assholery. We’re taxed every week and give away what’s extra.

  We’re able to get more, where others are not. Kiara defended. Plus, we have Nahara. She wouldn’t let us starve.

  Not like we’re hungry half the time, anyway. Rin added. Too busy to eat.

  The water began bubbling. They prepared two flasks of tea, removing the pot from the fire and filling containers. As they completed menial tasks, the dawn shifted to a honey glow.

  We should wake her now. Jayce stated. We have to get started.

  “Leisha, it’s time to wake up.” Kiara knelt beside her. “All the bread will be gone if you don’t get up soon.”

  Leisha quietly groaned and stretched. Her golden hair bunched as she buried her head into her pillow. “How cold is it?”

  She is going to be utterly useless. Kiara fought Ty’s tsk. “I got some hot tea for you,” she sighed. My first task is to provide rations.”

  “The Ketigaj do that.” Leisha passively mumbled.

  She’s Rikevran, met Nahara, and is still this naive? Ty forced an annoyed smirk, jaw ticking.

  She’s never done Aid before, and she doesn’t know. Stop it. We were amazed, too. “They provide the bare minimum; we will provide extra to have enough.”

  “I’m confused.” Leisha faced them, rubbing her eyes.

  “I’ll give you five minutes, `kay Shay?” They took their tea outside, lingering in the cold.

  Harvest months often bathed everything in a kaleidoscope of color, and the decay of fallen leaves permeated Meyat with the pleasant aroma of cycling life.

  Winter arrived with hues aside from blues, grays, and whites; it bore pink, orange, yellow, purple, and red; with a trillion blinding stars in the shifting light of a speedily ending day.

  The barren land represented their situation: endless possibilities with an open mind. Despite the harsh conditions, hope found them regularly in the winter. The prettiest lie they ever told themselves was that Meyat could be changed with just some altered thinking. They believed it marginally attainable, even if it meant never experiencing that freedom themselves. Otherwise, they’d drown in the sorrow of reality.

  The wind flurried snowflakes into fantastical shapes, appearing to tell a story.

  They closed their eyes, drank tea, took a deep breath, and sighed. Charring wood, pastries, and various meats wafted from the gates. Roasted nuts…

  For a moment, her jade eyes were there, glistening with her radiant smile. They swore her lips warmed theirs.

  Damn it! The image faded to the falling snow. Ty swiftly brushed away their pooling tears.

  Probably ’cause of Leisha. She does resemble her. Rin whispered. Similar cheekbones, but Jade’s eyes were jade and larger. We'd get lost in them.

  Jade was prettier. She had cinnamon hair. Zara chimed in.

  Don’t even try to compare them. Jade never complained. She would’ve saved thousands! Ty’s shouting aggravated the blinding throb in their head. The outside never matters as much as what’s within.

  Enough! Jayce steadied them, utilizing the shack for stability. We have to get along until this assignment is over. It’s just like five more months.

  I miss them. Kiara appreciated Jayce numbing their pain, driving the memory away, though its return during semiconscious moments persisted. An unrelenting, distorted replay of their horrendous failure; faces always indistinct but the agony adamant.

  We really don’t need Leisha around. Ty seethed with irritated disdain. Nahara knows how bad we are.

  The mission must be too significant. Kiara sighed. It’s fine. I’m fine. We are fine.

  Leisha rushed out to meet them, tea in hand. “So, what are we doing?”

  Kiara pulled their hood up. “Follow.”

  The two walked away from the gates, their boots following the lumbermen's trail. They veered off, far from the assembly. Kiara scanned the horizon.

  “Where are we going?” Leisha hushed her voice.

  “The Ketigaj never give enough.” Kiara sighed. “How many children die from starvation every winter?”

  “The winters are harsh, to remind us what will happen if we turn against the Elder God and Bolidac.” Leisha recited the indoctrinated line, “Those who die, had faltered against him.”

  “Then how are you still standing, Rikevra?” Ty slipped into control, irritated with the naivety of someone supposedly Rikevran.

  Leisha briefly paused, apparently offended. “I don’t know.” Her voice broke. “I don’t want to believe that he’s not real, but I don’t think he’d hate us just for who we are. Why make us this way? If the Elder God shapes all souls before we arrive to be of perfection, then how can I be made wrong?”

  “Maybe they told the wrong story,” Kiara answered. “Everything they say is a lie. ‘All are taken care of,’ then children starve. It doesn’t make sense. So we will be the Elder God and Bolidac.”

  Leisha recoiled at Kiara’s blasphemy. “How?”

  “There.” Kiara pointed toward a tree with a tiny diamond shape carved into it. As they approached, the snow changed. The top layer appeared light and fluffy, the middle a bit gray, almost dirty, and the bottom again sparkling and bright.

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  “Wha…”

  Kiara searched the snow until finding the bottom of a wool blanket. They removed it, revealing a raised planting bed with healthy greens growing beneath. “These can grow basically all year. Sometimes, the winters are too cold, but we can help people right now. This is what it means to be Rikevra.”

  Leisha unveiled another garden bed, appearing impressed by the idea. “Do you sell in the market? Is this how you make money?"

  “This, we give away.” Kiara began attentively harvesting the precious greens. “After I collect this, I’ll go to the center and take a random job off the board. As I go around, I give the food to the people who need it most. Once we're done, I take the receipts to the collection center and receive whatever rations or cotgi they think I deserve. What did you do before this?”

  Leisha’s cheeks blushed. “I was never expected to do anything but marry a glassblower and produce children.”

  “Do you know how to harvest?” Kiara tried to hide her nervousness. We really don’t have all day.

  “Yes, I worked in some gardens with my mother.” Leisha absentmindedly traced a leaf. “All Rikevra do stuff like this?”

  “We all play different roles,” Kiara answered. “Nahara taught me this because people hardly bat an eye at women selling plants. Someone will take over after we leave. What did you do with Nahara?”

  “She just had me work in her husband’s apothecary,” Leisha replied.

  “It’s her apothecary.” Kiara corrected. “It just had to be in his name. Let’s start.”

  They began harvesting the greens, hands warmed in the raised soil.

  “Are they actually married?” Leisha inquired. “Or is that a facade too?”

  “They are: madly in love, too,” Kiara answered, quickly collecting the bounty.

  “They don’t seem like it,” Leisha murmured.

  “Alvis is weird with emotions.” Kiara shrugged.

  “The lumbermen don’t report this?” Leisha meticulously retrieved the plants.

  “Not when they get the first pick.” Kiara chuckled. “When you bag them, it’s two of these, one of those, and two of those. Bags in there.” They directed Leisha.

  “How many will this feed?” Leisha began preparing bags.

  “About twenty.” Kiara understood the miniscule reality.

  They finished harvesting with light conversation. Kiara partially listened to Leisha regaling her childhood and privileged life as a glassblower’s daughter, expressing a sorrowful undertone.

  Consistent focus forever her flaw, however, with the others' continuously invading thoughts.

  She sounds like Larkin. Rin transferred nostalgic comfort. The desperation to sound happy, but she hates herself so much.

  Self-hate will end her too. Ty smirked. Don’t get attached. We can’t help her, so don’t waste the time.

  Rin, stop drudging up the past and baiting her anger. Ty, go take a nap or something, Jayce grumbled. Your attitude is going to cause problems. We'll call you if you’re needed.

  Maybe I won’t come.

  Kiara disapprovingly sighed at Ty’s attitude. Everything’s gonna be okay.

  Once they filled the bags, replanted, and concealed the beds, they retraced their steps and returned to the lumbermen.

  “Kita, who’s this?” A cheerfully large man practically skipped to them.

  “This is my late husband’s sister, Shay,” Kiara directed Leisha forward. “Her husband had to work on the Isles, so he sent her to be with me.”

  “He worried for me to be alone this harsh winter,” Leisha added.

  “Ah, well, I’m Ryker, and this is my crew.” He gestured to the men busily chopping down trees. “Seven in total today, please, Ms. Kita.”

  “Are you all well?” Kiara handed over the bags. “Will these help?”

  Ryker nodded in gratitude. “The stews last much longer than you’d expect, and it’s quite filling. Every little bit helps. You’re truly kind.”

  Kiara nodded. The two finished distributing the bags and departed.

  “Won’t they be confused when the next person takes over?” Leisha struggled through the snow.

  “No, we’re part of the Aid Program and the food is a divine assignment. We’re instructed to give to one another so Bolidac may bless our futures.” Kiara explained. Did Nahara tell her nothing?

  This is what training entails, Jayce opined. Nahara doesn’t like giving anything away. We’ve just never trained before so it seems strange, but this is how Naha leads.

  “Di…did Rikevra invent the Aid Program?” Leisha seemed amazed.

  “It’s not like Bolidac is doing anything,” Kiara smirked. “Nahara didn’t tell ya a thing, did she?”

  Leisha scratched her arm, her cheeks flushed. “She told me I would just learn on the job.”

  “Yeah, that’s how she is.” Kiara sighed. “It can be quite a lot.”

  The brightening day exposed the darkness of Bolidac’s light. Kiara grieved for the people opposite them, semiconscious along the path. Their Meyat was turbulently agonizing, victims trapped in cells of the Assemblies’ making. Either injured or mentally disturbed, all victims of piomu.

  Given by Ketigaj healers for pain or sleep issues, just a sip and bodies craved it. Losing themselves in the consumption and forfeiting everything. For those who desired sobriety, an illness emerged. Their bodies expelled whatever contents attempted to claim their stomachs; countless victims perished.

  Kiara watched as the deceased body of a teenager was carted away. The youngest suffer the most. Flashes of dried reddish vomit encased familiar mouths.

  The Meyat spiraled, breath limited by a throb in their chest.

  Jayce steadied their stumble. It’s alright. Just a bad memory.

  “You okay?” Leisha gingerly laid her hand on their shoulder.

  “I trip over air.” Jayce forced a chuckle. “Follow.”

  He led them to a sleeping young woman and lightly shook her. “Hey, Nova, wake up.” He shook her a bit harder. “Nova, they’ll cart ya away if you don’t wake up soon.”

  “Ki…ta?” Her voice was hoarse.

  Relief flooded their body as honey brown eyes sleepily blinked at them.

  “Got your order ready. I brought you some tea, too, but you gotta sit up for it.”

  “Who's the shadow?” Nova’s frosted raven hair masked her eyes.

  “Shay,” Jayce handed her a flask with water. “Sister-in-law.”

  “Hmm.” Nova jittered. “We got a new kid last night.”

  “Five it is, then.” Jayce entrusted the bags. “How bad?”

  Nova’s eyes teared, and she swiftly swiped them. “He won’t last long unchecked.”

  She has one of the hardest assignments. Rin sighed. With all the shit she sees, I’m surprised she doesn’t end up using too.

  But how many has she saved? Zara beamed. It’s a noble position.

  She has to play gatekeeper with the food. Give only enough so that it can't be traded for death. Try and save the sick kids. Not all of them survive sober. She sees people die every day. It shouldn’t be a needed assignment. Fuck the Assemblies.

  Guys, please, it’s already so hard. Jayce squinted from the mounting pressure.

  “You are a blessing, Kita.” Nova reassuringly smiled. “Don’t worry too much, I’m sure he’ll be fine. Ravens should be cawing tonight.”

  “We’ll be giving clothes and blankets out tomorrow.” Jayce nodded. “Stay safe.”

  Leisha trailed after them. “Why give to piomu users?” Condescension poured from her tone. “They drain our Assemblies’ resources and do nothing but dirty the streets. I’m surprised they’re even given a chance before being Lustrated.”

  Nothing could stop Ty in her rage, swiftly forcing Leisha down an empty alley, shielding them behind a stack of wood. She fingered the hilt of their beloved athame, furiously staring into Leisha’s frightened eyes, filled with intoxicating rage. “Shut your fucking mouth.” She snarled. “They don’t even get rations from the Ketigaj because they aren’t allowed to have houses. The Ketigaj give that shit to them, then leave them for dead. I’ve seen kids as young as eight craving that shit.” Ty ignored the blinding tension in their head and the rising distress in their chest. “Get it through your head. NOW. Rikevrans help all still fighting for their life. If you don’t like it, then leave.”

  Leisha trembled against the pile. “I’m sorry.” She squeaked. “I thought the Rikevra only helped people like me.” Her quickened breaths warmed their face.

  Please, Ty. Jayce urged. We need to calm down.

  Ty relented, unable to simultaneously argue and support Jayce’s attempts to remain conscious.

  “Are you okay?” Leisha delicately grasped their forearm.

  They stumbled a bit as Jayce gained control. “Sorry.” He shook their head. “Once you get to know the people, you’ll understand. Let’s go get something to eat and choose an assignment.”

  He led Leisha to the market, people crowding the shops. Leisha stuck close behind, leaning into them. “I only have two cotgi. I think I’ll eat later.”

  “I’ll pay; we’ve got too much to do on an empty stomach.” Jayce relaxed with the smell of fresh honey bread. “I always work better on a full stomach.”

  “So, what will we do as a part of the Aid Program?” Leisha gratefully took the slice of jammed bread.

  “Today rations, tomorrow we’ll pass out clothes and blankets, hunt, then we gotta work our butts off to afford the things we need, to help more,” Jayce explained.

  “So all you do is earn and then give it away?” Leisha stared incredulously. Nahara would give medicine away, too. How can any of you survive doing that? Is it helping if you just give it away?”

  “Sometimes you can work yourself to death, do everything they say, and you’ll still be left unable to truly live. They always abandon the people who need the most help. Children go without medicine, parents unable to work because they can’t bring the child along, but can’t afford the Assemblies’ child care, and the elderly are left to die alone.” They recalled flashes of previously helped strangers. “It takes time, but you’ll learn how to survive on little so that others who can’t will get a chance at life. You wanna see how fair it is?” Jayce nodded toward the reward center, where a man was begging. Perfect timing.

  “Please, my son has been very ill, and my wife has to stay home and care for him.” The man pleaded.

  “Bolidac helps those who help themselves.” The guard sneered. “Why should you be given extra when you haven’t earned it?”

  “For my child, please.” The man sobbed. “I can’t buy his medicine and let him starve. Please. He needs more.”

  “If you were truly in Bolidac’s light, your son would not be ill.” The guard threw the man’s bag of cotgi at him. “Leave.”

  The two followed after the morose father. “Sir,” Jayce grasped his arm. “We didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but we’re part of the Aid Program. Here.” They handed him two bags. “If you need more, we’ll be back around next week. Usually in the center by eight. We’re also passing out blankets and clothes tomorrow, but we could drop them off at your home if you prefer.”

  The man glanced into the bags before yanking them into a hug. “Bless you,” he said, his relief like a song in a broken wave. “Thank you. I’ll repay in any way I can. I’ll find you tomorrow!”

  “That’s not why we do this.” Jayce reluctantly allowed the hug. “Just take care of your family; remember, we all matter.”

  “Won’t we get into trouble helping people the Ketigaj deny?” Leisha followed after them.

  “As long as we don’t directly interfere, like argue with them or break any laws, the Aid members can help who and how they like. It comes from our own time and money.” Jayce clarified. “Shay, nothing is going to happen to you.”

  They arrived at the assignment boards and chose a simple job, delivering milk from the local dairy farmers.

  They distributed rations while completing thirty errands for four cotgi and two onions. Leisha seemed flabbergasted by the minuscule earnings.

  Is Nahara sure she’s Rikevra material? Ty groaned. She’s completely clueless. Nahara doesn’t send out people like her.

  She has a good heart. Zara defended.

  If she wants to survive, she can’t be this ignorant. Ty countered.

  Fuck it’s cold. Rin disrupted their monotonous conversation. Can we pleeease pay for a hot bath?

  No. Jayce sighed. We can boil the snow and scrub ourselves. It’s the same thing. Besides, we had one this morning.

  “I’m gonna get a bath, wanna join?” Leisha offered.

  Please. Rin begged.

  No, Rin. Ty growled.

  “I’m good.” Jayce declined. “It’s your money from here on out, though. Spend wisely. See ya at home.”

  *

  Finally alone. Ty sighed as Jayce removed their frozen clothes.

  Day’s not over. Jayce began organizing items for impending tasks.

  They scrubbed their pot and collected fresh snow. As it boiled, they prepared clothes for the oncoming day. Once the water gurgled and arrows stashed away for the morning, they prepared a stew, ate, and settled for the night.

  *

  How do you think she’ll fair tomorrow? Kiara pondered, almost asleep when Leisha returned.

  We’ll see. Ty answered.

  “Leisha, do you know how to hunt and trap?” Kiara inquired.

  “Not really.” She sheepishly replied.

  I really hate training. Kiara yawned. “That’s alright.” She forced a smile. “I’ll teach you. I left ya some stew. Eat up, then get some sleep.” Kiara buried their head into their pillow. “First thing, we’re giving away last week’s hunt.”