This brings us up to this very moment. Don’t worry I still intend to continue telling you this story… however, now I have as much idea about what comes next as you do. I can’t look back on events with hindsight. I will just have to take things as they come, which is difficult for me due to my predisposition to overthinking.

  I am currently lying here… unconscious, wondering what will happen to me. I mustn’t be dead; I can’t see any gods… I am not being welcomed into the sweet embrace of deceased loved ones… I’m not being tortured in the bowels of hell... nor have I been reincarnated into a newborn. Everything is just black… I must still be unconscious.

  Either way… alive or dead… my life from here is over. If I am alive then when I am found I will undoubtedly be undressed for them to treat my injuries… then they’ll know… they’ll know what I am… then… then I am truly ruined. It would have been better if I had died in a fire, then they could simply find my ashes and be none the wiser.

  I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to see their faces… I can’t bear to see them look at me… knowing what I am. Knowing that I lied to them for all this time… these people that I care about… that I trust… that I love. I can’t bear to face them. It would be best for everyone if I just pass away now.

  Unfortunately, I do not seem to be being granted that wish, I can feel myself coming round. My body wants me to open my eyes… but my brain doesn’t. I can hear water… trickling water… that’s not right… I was in a building last time I opened my eyes… I’m sure of it. What the hell is going on?

  Alright… I can’t put this off any longer… I need to open my eyes… whatever comes next, I need to deal with it… even though the thought of it makes me feel sick, I need to deal with this. 3… 2… 1… open.

  I seem to be in a clearing in a wood…. by a small river, I think. I can’t move my arms at all. I can’t feel my cowl against my scalp… this is bad… if I don’t have my cowl then they definitely know. Have I been left here to slowly die? My neck is stiff, but I can move it. Kiyui is asleep just over from me. His right arm is bandaged… the bandages are quite blood stained. He must have taken a beating after I lost consciousness. Should I try speaking to him? No… I should let him sleep. It looks like he needs to recover…

  Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  Phoenix: “Morning.”

  I turned my head round to see Phoenix. She’s carving a piece of wood with a carving knife… something she often does when we have to camp during a long journey. She has my cowl on her knee. It looks damp… has she been washing it? I suppose it was probably covered in blood… but why would she bother? She looks unfazed… why is she still here?

  Dwynfel: “Umm… good morning

  Phoenix: “Do not try to move your arms, they’ve been paralysed.”

  Oh gods… I feel sick. I leaned to the side and vomited all over the floor.

  Phoenix: “Concussion will do that to you. You should try to avoid blows to the head.”

  I was still leaning to one side… vomit hanging out of my mouth.

  Dwynfel: “Thanks for the advice… I’ll bear that in mind.”

  I took several deep breathes.

  Dwynfel: “Why am I still alive?”

  Phoenix proceeded to put her carving down and moved to sit down on a log opposite me, she looked straight at me with a very mild smile… which was odd… she was not prone to smiling.

  Phoenix: “It was only two broken arms, a busted knee, and a concussion. People have suffered worse and lived.”

  She ended with a small laugh. I have never seen her smile this much, it is unnerving.

  Dwynfel: “You know that isn’t what I meant. You have my cowl in your hand… you know… so why aren’t I dead yet?”

  Phoenix: “Oh Dwynfel. I’ve known what you are for a very long time.”

  Is she being serious? She can’t be... I was so careful… I’ve never been injured enough to need medical attention… I’ve never borne my skin in any way in the presence of any of them the entire time I have been adventuring… there is no way she could know… is she trying to make me feel better? Why would she do that?

  Dwynfel: “How?”

  Phoenix: “You track with your nose.”

  Dwynfel: “What?”

  Phoenix: “You try to hide it. You make up other reasons why you think we should go in one direction or another. You never mention the scent you are following… but I could tell. Now it is confirmed.”

  Dwynfel: “If you knew then why didn’t you say anything? Did the others know?”

  Phoenix: “Only me. I have told you before… everyone is entitled to their secrets.”

  She walked towards me, cleaned the vomit from my mouth with a cloth and sat me up in a better position so that I could see around me better.

  Dwynfel: “How did the others take it?”

  Phoenix: “Some better than others. You should rest and regain your strength. Then we can talk more.”

  Dwynfel: “Please… tell me what happened after I lost consciousness.”

  Phoenix: “You should rest.”

  Dwynfel: “I won’t be able to sleep until I know… so please… just tell me.”

  Phoenix: “As you wish.”