Even though I wanted to enjoy myself again, it's hard to regain lost enthusiasm.

  I couldn't help fearing that girl might be watching me. It was like high school all over again. She'd predict my movements to stop me from meeting Si-hyun, or use other girls to isolate me. Looking back, those memories were nothing but painful. Of course, I never showed weakness in front of others back then.

  I'd acted unaffected in front of Yoo Mi-ro earlier, but alone, those memories flooded back.

  I wish I didn't know... I wish I hadn't seen...

  Eventually we left the pool and returned to our room.

  I leaned against the bed reading an old favorite novel on my phone. Novels are wonderful, even when the plot drags, the protagonist always resolves crises in satisfying ways. Though I couldn't do it myself, watching characters solve problems neatly felt like untangling knotted threads in my heart. That's why I fell in love with reading.

  Just as memories were weighing me down, Si-hyun sat beside me and offered steaming coffee.

  "At least drink this."

  "Okay, thanks."

  The moment I sipped his coffee-

  "Bleh!"

  So bitter! Unbearably bitter! Not a hint of sweetness! Pure black!

  "Pfft!"

  Si-hyun's eyes curved into smiles watching me spit out the coffee.

  "Still can't handle black coffee?"

  Giving me poison while knowing full well!

  To me, coffee without milk and loads of sugar isn't coffee at all.

  "I'm not drinking it!"

  I pushed the cup back. He took it with understanding, then offered the other coffee in his hand. This time I checked first - it was milk coffee.

  This guy prepared it all along and still played his trick!

  "Hmph!"

  I took small sips of the sweet coffee. This is how coffee should taste. As I drank, I noticed Si-hyun drinking too.

  ...?

  Wasn't that the coffee I just spat out?

  He drank it straight down without hesitation.

  .........?

  Is this guy crazy? Why drink what I rejected? But I couldn't point it out, admitting he knew would be more embarrassing.

  I decided I saw nothing.

  Thanks to Si-hyun's prank, my low spirits lifted considerably.

  Lying on the hotel's spacious bed eating expensive snacks while watching TV had its own charm.

  We ordered room service dinner early, loading up on dishes we wanted and what looked expensive.

  "Is it okay to order this much?"

  We'd ordered enough for nearly six people.

  "As long as we finish it."

  Fair enough. We added a bottle of high-end red wine too.

  After our meal, Si-hyun said he was heading to the gym. Seems his muscles aren't just from his Ability, he puts in the work too.

  Rolling around the room alone grew boring quickly.

  "Maybe I'll go out too..."

  While checking hotel facilities, one place caught my eye.

  The bar, for someone who only drank cheap beer, cocktails held great appeal. Should I tell Si-hyun?

  Well, I'm an adult. I just sent a KT message saying I was going to the bar and left.

  The lounge in the high-rise bar offered panoramic views of the skyscraper-lit nightscape. I stared bewildered at the dazzling menu, so many varieties with names that gave no clues about their contents.

  After struggling with the menu for five minutes, the bartender approached: "Need recommendations?"

  "Ah, yes!"

  He suggested several sweet cocktails popular with women. I chose the mojito, the most familiar name.

  The cocktail placed before me shimmered with a transparent aqua green.

  "Your mojito."

  So this was a mojito! I took a small sip, the initial sweetness blooming on my tongue.

  Well, if I had to describe it, it was pretty good!

  After finishing it alone, I ordered another tropical-flavored drink, the strangely named "Passion Coast."

  Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

  Just as my second drink arrived, someone sat down beside me.

  I looked up and saw the last person I wanted to meet.

  "Drinking alone, Jeong Si-yeon."

  Her words carried hostility. Was she still into Si-hyun?

  "Got a problem?"

  "Hmph, a man drinking sweet cocktails. Don't tell me you actually think you're a woman now?"

  ...! Yoo Mi-ro's words made my eyes widen.

  Did she know I used to be male?

  "Wh-what do you mean?"

  "Stop pretending. I investigated everything."

  Tch, investigated? The alcohol made my head fuzzier, completely unsure how to respond.

  "Th-that..."

  Seeing Yoo Mi-ro's aggressive stance, memories from the past flooded back, and I instinctively shrank into myself.

  Yoo Mi-ro looked at me like this and snorted with laughter.

  "Always so annoying, then and now."

  "Hmph, so what do you want?"

  "Well, are you really dating Si-hyun?"

  Still after Si-hyun after all this time?

  Yoo Mi-ro already knew my true identity. There was no point pretending anymore.

  Besides, Si-hyun probably wouldn't want people thinking he was dating someone who used to be a guy.

  "No."

  "Really?"

  The hostility around Yoo Mi-ro seemed to fade slightly.

  Just as I thought, she still liked Si-hyun.

  "Then was it some other girl back then?"

  Huh? Suddenly an interesting topic came up.

  I even forgot my fear of Yoo Mi-ro and pressed for details.

  "Wh-what situation?"

  At my question, Yoo Mi-ro glared daggers at me. Then she explained.

  She said she'd helped Si-hyun with so called female friend-related advice a few months back that obviously meant for his girlfriend based on the question.

  Si-hyun actually had a girlfriend?

  "So that's how it was. Si-hyun had a girlfriend too."

  But with his Ability and good looks, he could probably get a girlfriend easily if he wanted. Come to think of it, Si-hyun always talked about having a private life and took plenty of days off. He was probably meeting his girlfriend then.

  Listening to Yoo Mi-ro's story, I noticed something strange.

  "You don't like Si-hyun?"

  Yeah, Yoo Mi-ro didn't seem affected at all talking about Si-hyun's girlfriend.

  When I asked this, Yoo Mi-ro shot me a murderous glare.

  "You're still as clueless as ever."

  Urgh, Yoo Mi-ro used to scold me like this before too.

  "Yeah, I gave up long ago. Confessed several times. Got rejected every time."

  Ah, so she got rejected.

  Even though she used to bully me, I suddenly felt a bit sorry for her. Getting rejected after falling for someone as exceptional as Si-hyun. With Yoo Mi-ro's looks, she could probably pick up any guy she wanted.

  "I see. You should find a better man."

  "Ha, you idiot, is that supposed to be comforting?"

  Urgh, scolded by Yoo Mi-ro again, I fell silent.

  Yoo Mi-ro ordered another cocktail, and for some reason I ordered the same one.

  This cocktail tasted good, but it was pretty strong.

  In the awkward silence, we each drank our cocktails.

  Yoo Mi-ro spoke first.

  "So how does it feel being a girl?"

  Well, I don't know how to change back anyway, so I'm just living like this.

  "I don't know, I'll just make do with this."

  "You used to flirt all day trying to attract boys. Now you've actually become a girl."

  Yoo Mi-ro's giggling irritated me.

  "When did I ever flirt to attract boys!?"

  "Still playing dumb? You'd do anything to get Seong Si-hyun's attention, right?"

  At Mi-ro's words, I could only fumble with my cocktail glass and stammer.

  Maybe she was right.

  Actually, Mi-ro had given me advice back then. Though at the time I just thought she was lecturing me.

  "Ah, no that's not it!"

  "Stop denying it. Let's get this straight. When you got bullied, you never even thought about making other friends, did you? You could've solved everything by making new friends, but you just clung to Si-hyun waiting for him to fix things. Without Si-hyun you wouldn't do anything, right?"

  Th-that was true. I really didn't try to make other friends, I only wanted to play with Si-hyun.

  "Wh-what's wrong with that? We're best friends, aren't we?"

  I put up a small resistance. Right, because we were best friends.

  "Ha! When Seong Si-hyun wasn't around, you'd just sleep on your desk or play with your smartphone, right? You didn't care about anything else, did you?"

  "I, I..."

  Just like back then. In our second year of high school, Mi-ro had said the exact same things to me.

  Back then too, Mi-ro had stopped me when I was trying to get Si-hyun's attention, demanding to know how long I planned to depend on Si-hyun.

  "Want to deny it? Or are you going to run to Seong Si-hyun like in high school and tell him you're being bullied?"

  Mi-ro's words cut deep.

  Because they were true.

  I had other friends in middle school, so why did I have none in high school? Because Oppa became famous after his Awakening? Actually, more boys came asking me about Oppa because of that. So why did I get bullied? Of course it was because I pushed them all away and rejected them...

  Since middle school, Si-hyun had made many friends besides me.

  The childish exclusion because he was handsome and popular with girls was elementary school stuff. As we grew older, those immature kids matured too. So naturally Si-hyun had friends other than me.

  At first I joined that circle too. But gradually I couldn't keep up with Si-hyun's expanding friend group, and my time with him decreased. I played with other friends, but it was never as fun as being with Si-hyun.

  In high school, our playtime decreased even more, and Si-hyun's growing number of friends meant even less time for me. That's when I noticed.

  When girls bullied me, Si-hyun started taking care of me. Right, I noticed. If I didn't get along with anyone, Si-hyun would pay attention to me...

  From that point, I actively distanced myself from others. Because doing that made Si-hyun notice me.

  The only girl who saw through and called out this despicable behavior was Yoo Mi-ro.

  She told me to my face: Stop acting pitiful to get Seong Si-hyun's attention, Si-hyun isn't your property.

  Ah, I really didn't want to realize this. I always wanted to pretend I didn't know.

  I stared at Mi-ro through blurred vision. Her eyes held no anger, only disappointed gaze.

  "What? Got something to say?"

  Mi-ro exposed the truth I'd hidden beneath my self-justifications.

  Thinking about my garbage self made me sick. I couldn't say anything.

  Because that was the truth, the reality I'd been running from, and I'm still doing the same thing now.

  "Ah... yeah, you're right about everything."

  "It's exactly the same as back then. But don't you think it's pathetic? I heard Seong Si-hyun has a girlfriend now?"

  Exactly the same. Now and then were completely identical.

  Those words cut deep. I'm still clinging to Si-hyun, refusing to let go.

  So I used my current appearance. I tried every way to get his attention.

  Leaning intentionally against Si-hyun, wearing feminine clothes, even learning makeup and deliberately keeping my scars, all of it was to catch Si-hyun's attention.

  But Si-hyun has a girlfriend?

  Ha, I'm just a terrible woman.

  Yeah, of course. Even though my Hunter life with Si-hyun was fun, I couldn't stay by his side forever. Hearing he has a girlfriend, I still selfishly only think about myself.

  I'd forgotten why Si-hyun was kind to me, but now I remember. And because I remember, I'm using that knowledge.

  "I've given up on Seong Si-hyun now, but I still have to say this. Don't you think Si-hyun is pitiful? How long do you plan to cling to him? Your whole life?"

  I downed my cocktail in one gulp.

  "Sorry, Mi-ro. In a way, you're also my victim."

  If I'd kept my distance from Si-hyun, maybe Mi-ro and Seong Si-hyun would already be dating.

  What would Si-hyun's girlfriend think if she saw us together now? She'd definitely break up with him.

  If I were still a man it might be different, but now I look like a woman.

  Mi-ro said nothing.

  "I see... I should step away from Si-hyun."

  "Hmph."

  Mi-ro finished her drink and went straight to the bar.

  "Everything... everything is this terrible woman's fault."

  I ordered a strong cocktail and started drinking.

  At the same time I thought: It's time to break free from Si-hyun. I can't stay forever.

  I need to learn to stand on my own too.

  -

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