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ARC1 FINALE: As If A Push--

  As consciousness returned, it felt like a gradual growing of clarity, and light. Said light only grew, until it was far too bright to ignore. So, he could do nothing but open his eyes.

  --

  Val had woken up. As much as he would have preferred not to, the morning rays of light shining through his window rendered any attempts at staying asleep worthless.

  He had quite a dissatisfied expression, which showed even though he was barely awake. That heavy lump in his chest he'd had for quite a couple days now was only heavier. It was always more difficult to get up, as the lump made it so.

  Nevertheless, he was able to sit upright. His face showed his feelings rather inaccurately;

  On it was a look of disappointment, or maybe one that showed laziness. In reality, he was feeling something far, far more negative.

  Guilt.

  It was clear now;

  What he had done was not at all what he should have done.

  He caused this.

  It's his fault.

  It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault It's my fault *It's my fau-

  There was the sound of the door opening. Val turned his head fast, startled.

  A bloody, injured Ace crawled toward him, asking for help.

  Val watched, his expression barely changing. A strong ringing sound pierced his own ears, along with Ace's screams getting stronger, and louder, and stronger, and louder evermore.

  He grabbed his head, arching his back and looking down, seemingly an act of desperation--

  Once he looked in front of him again, nothing was there. The door was closed. The noise stopped. His expression returned to his normal resting face, without showing any hint of emotion. He turned to his window; The light was shining brighter than before, it was hard to look at even. He raised his arm, covering his eyes from the incessant light. He sincerely wished, with all of his heart, he could just go back to sleep. And stay there. A little more.

  The world around him, the things he had to do felt overwhelming to him. Like they were the biggest hurdle he'd have to face.

  --

  At breakfast, Val was sitting at a table in the main kitchen. He stirred his milk, without actually drinking it or dipping something in it.

  The lump in his chest had moved to his throat, and he wasn't able to eat anything. Looking at his cup, he stirred, and stirred, and stirred.

  He had things to do. He had never hated the idea of going out and running errands more than today.

  --

  Reaching the main square, he noticed a certain emptiness to heaven's streets. Almost no one was around, apart from some guards he could spot, and some angels roaming, most of which were concentrated in the large open area up ahead. Val stopped to check his surroundings, while a sound he had never heard before banged against his left ear. Covering it with his hand instinctually, he gathered some weird looks. Val obviously noticed. Instead of sneering back, like he usually would, he simply looked down, worried. What was the point of doing anything anymore.

  It stopped. It stopped, not without a loud and sudden increase in volume, which made Val make a painful face, showing his teeth.

  He had almost lost his balance there.

  Val regained composure. He was able to fend off those peering eyes. He looked each one of the bystanders in the eyes, showing off an angry, almost intimidating look. Everyone knew who he was. What if they never saw him ever ever ever ever ever again?

  Once he started walking once more, a slight tone of confidence came off of him. Once he saw the crime scene at the shop, however, his facade of a firm state of mind suddenly crumbled, it crumbled and all of it fell to the ground. He freezed, as if in ice. He stopped. His muscles, tense. Without thinking the ice melted and his legs worked again, they worked against him, they started running, with no aim, just running, to get away, to run, run, run, run, run, run.

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  Despair.

  Something inside him was shouting. It was kicking, punching, and trying to get out of him. It felt like his stomach was about to explode. He could do nothing but keep it in there, at bay.

  Stay there. Stop. Stop fighting. If he could do something, anything, to get that thing out of him, he would do it without hesitation.

  This is the worst thing he has ever felt before.

  Despair.

  Running. It kept screaming and shouting. It wanted his attention. Think of something else.

  The lump had grown into a full being, which was now banging against his body's walls. He tried to scream too, thinking it was the only thing left to do, though no air was even able to come out. His eyes blurred.

  Despair.

  Still running. His destination had been left behind him. He didn't care anymore.

  ???: [It was you! You did this! You caused this! You should die! Die! Die die die die die die die die!]

  It screamed. These words.

  It was me. I did this. I caused this. I should--

  Val bumped against someone.

  He fell in front of him, he was now sitting down, he could almost not see a thing for how foggy his vision was. All he felt was the worry and fear from the person he bumped into.

  ???: [What--? Hu.. Huh??! No! Leave me alone!--]

  The bystander closed her eyes and swung a half-assed punch toward the fallen Val.

  He was able to evade, and he continued to run.

  Where? Where? Where was he going? What was he even doing. What what what what what.

  He breathed in deeply, and stopped once more, grabbing his chest where his heart was.

  It was beating as fast as ever.

  He was feeling despair.

  His guilt materialized inside him, and caused pain.

  He tried to calm down, by thinking of other things, but the incessant screaming from inside was far too loud and hurtful to ignore it. He almost fell to the ground again.

  However, once he had stopped in front of God's great temple, he felt a pain far too strong to describe.

  Like a knife that had cut through his soul was being pulled out from behind. Something was going on. It wasn't like anything else he'd ever felt before. He looked at the great temple in front of him, searching for help. His despair had nowhere to go.

  He started running again--

  Toward somewhere which wasn't here, somewhere where this pain wouldn't exist.

  He thought that maybe, just maybe, he could run away from his despair. Maybe if he found the right spot, it would simply go away.

  The truth is, it was in fact his fault. Everything that had happened in the past few days, are all his responsibility. He should have been off to earth, not the poor Echo. If it weren't for that damn book. That damn thing that led him to it.

  Who was that, was all this his intention?

  "--"

  To answer his mom's question, ace did not deserve what had happened to him.

  And to fulfill his mother's request, he stood at the gates of Heaven, where one step would lead to the land of humans.

  "--"

  I deserve this--

  I really, truly, undoubtedly do--

  His legs wouldn't move. His eyes were closed, showing a look of deep thought.

  "--"

  The pain in his back was only stronger and more difficult to resist. His legs were still frozen, and his eyes still wouldn't open. He was waiting for something. Something that would make this easier.

  "--"

  He felt a sensation of terrible loss as the pain in his back stopped. Relief filled his body, as the infection of despair he had suffered throughout this whole day had also disappeared.

  Or rather, it truly materialized into something monstrous.

  "--"

  As his eyes still remained closed, a wretched being stood behind Val.

  A humanoid, made only by bones and muscle. Covered in blood.

  It stood with it's back arched, almost angled.

  Val couldn't see what was happening, though he knew what he had asked for was coming.

  As if a push--

  He fell.

  He fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell and fell.

  The despair was gone.

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