Chapter 15

  Training

  We were all provided with our own rooms, so we decided to meet outside the entrance to the Tower the following morning. I’d had a very thorough wash the evening before, finding blood and filth in places that it had no right to be. I won’t disgust you with specifics, but let’s just say it was not pleasant.

  On the way to the gate, I’d picked up my new ‘armour’ from the quartermaster.

  It was everything I’d dreamed it would be - stylish and practical.

  The quartermaster looked a little offended when I snatched his drink, which turned out to be some sort of fruit juice, and poured it over myself. I may or may not have squealed in excitement when I watched the stains slowly fade to nothingness.

  It’s fair to say that as I made my way over to the gate, I didn’t think the day could get any better.

  I was wrong.

  Kaelis arrived next, his armour repaired and once again polished to an obnoxious degree. I tried to make small talk while we waited for Rel, but he still seemed to be a little awed by me. This apparently robbed him of the ability to behave like anything other than a total weirdo.

  To remedy this, I spent the next fifteen minutes teaching him about some of Earth’s cultural gems.

  “So, there’s this thing called ‘wrestling’, but it’s not like real wrestling,” I said, as Kaelis nodded along enthusiastically. Although at that point, I’m fairly certain I could have discussed my morning shit and he’d have started taking notes in case there was something to learn from it. “It’s fake, but they try to make it look real. And the wrestlers, who are kind of like actors, create a persona. They have costumes, theme songs, and even special ‘moves’!”

  And then, to the great amusement of the guards on duty, I proceeded to run Kaelis through some of my favourites, using him as the unfortunate volunteer.

  “This is a classic,” I said, proceeding to pretend to kick him in the groin, then turn on the spot to loop my hands around his neck.

  As I did, I saw Rel.

  And what he had requested from the quartermaster.

  Rel was wearing a wizard’s hat. A real one. Tall, pointy, and deeply, deeply unnecessary.

  But damn, did he look cool.

  It was midnight blue, with silver stars that actually moved along the fabric.

  “What are you both staring at?” he asked as he came to a stop in front of us. He wore a very satisfied smile, clearly pleased by the reaction that his entrance had provoked. “Have you never seen a Magus before?”

  * * *

  The three of us stood just inside the entrance to Floor One. Rel was pacing back and forth in front of a very nervous-looking Kaelis, explaining his philosophy on training.

  “Right, I’ve analysed your performance against those trolls yesterday,” said Rel, pausing for a moment to offer Kaelis a disappointed shake of his head. “I’ve got to be honest; it was less than satisfactory. And by that, I mean it was shit.”

  Kaelis’s shoulders drooped.

  “But fear not!” Rel continued. “That is why we’re here. I’ve devised a genius plan to ensure that nothing like that ever happens again. Probably. Our first priority is to work on your durability. Follow me.”

  Rel led us deeper into the jungle, stopping only when the first creature came into view.

  “Now,” whispered Rel. “Have you ever heard the expression ‘no pain, no gain’? Yes? Well erase it from your memory. Your mantra for the next week is going to be this: lots of pain, lots of gains.”

  Even at such a low volume, Rel’s voice held an almost fanatical zeal.

  “To become tougher, you need to get hurt. A lot. Your body will scream at you to dodge, deflect or block. Ignore it! That is for cowards and those who are not willing to go the distance. Unless it’ll kill you, I expect you to bear the brunt of every attack!”

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  Rel paused, fixing intent eyes on his ‘disciple’. I noticed Kaelis gulp, but he nodded his understanding.

  “Then I suppose we’d best begin,” said Rel solemnly.

  Ahh, the good old days. I turned an evil grin on Kaelis, relieved it was finally someone else on the receiving end of one of Rel’s insane schemes.

  I was not so lucky.

  “Pete, I think as it’s Kaelis’s first day, he’d benefit from a demonstration. Don’t you?”

  * * *

  Kaelis felt several conflicting emotions as he watched a grumpy Pete stomp over to confront the enormous bear: fear, awe, disbelief… and if he was being honest, a not-so-small dose of regret.

  What had he signed up for?

  The bear was enormous. It had thick, dark brown fur that did little to hide the powerful body underneath. It padded towards Pete, cold intelligence burning in its eyes. Kaelis grimaced as he saw the thing’s claws. They were as long as his forearms, and he couldn’t help but imagine them tearing his master’s flesh to ribbons.

  Kaelis knew that with his axe, he would make short work of the creature. But to engage it like this? It was insanity!

  Pete did not seem at all perturbed. In fact, he actually started goading the creature. Kaelis was fairly sure he heard the words ‘furry bastard’ used more than once. Once he reached the creature, Pete just… stopped.

  The bear hesitated for a moment, the bizarre behaviour giving it pause. It quickly grew tired of this, however, and let out an earth-shaking roar. It swung its paw in a powerful arc - a blow that would no doubt have turned a brick wall to dust.

  Kaelis winced as it struck Pete’s side, but gasped when he saw that the only effect of the blow was to move him one step.

  “Is that the best you’ve got, you beady-eyed asshole?” roared Pete.

  He was actually enjoying himself.

  The bear changed approach, rearing up on its hind legs and then lunging forward with its mouth open.

  Its jaws closed around Pete’s entire head. It lifted him off the floor and then started swinging him through the air like a chew toy.

  “Do you see? That’s how you do it!” said Rel, startling Kaelis from his state of horrified fascination. “Look at that determination, that commitment!”

  Kaelis supposed Pete’s actions did show commitment, but they also showed a complete and utter disregard for basic self-preservation. Was this truly what was required to become strong?

  “Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘if the bear did that to me, my head would pop like a grapefruit’. You’re absolutely right, which is why you’ll be starting with beginner’s rules.”

  “Beginner's rules?” asked Kaelis, an unmistakeable note of relief in his voice.

  “Of course. What sort of Grandmaster would I be if my only disciple died on his first day of training?” said Rel, shaking his head slightly. The idea that he could be anything other than an exceptional Grandmaster was absurd. “We’ll make a few allowances based on just how pathetically weak you currently are. First, you’ll be allowed to wear your armour. Second, you’ll be allowed to protect your head.”

  Rel paused for a little dramatic effect.

  “Any other body part is fair game.”

  * * *

  I’m sure it’s one of those things you know without having to be told, but the inside of a bear’s mouth is not a nice place to be. The furry bastard had clearly never heard of dental hygiene. His breath fucking stunk. As I was swung from side to side, my brain bouncing off either side of my skull like a ping pong ball, I cursed Rel’s name.

  The little shit had better appreciate this. It was truly incredible the lengths I was willing to go to in the name of friendship.

  I counted to ten in my head before I prised the bear’s mouth open. That ought to have been more than enough time for Kaelis to learn what was expected of him. I dropped to the floor, my hair so drenched in spit that I looked like a teenager who’d discovered hair gel for the first time.

  As the bear ran its eyes over me, noting the absence of any form of injury, its confusion turned to terror. It backed away a few steps, attempting to be subtle, then tried to turn and dart away into the safety of the jungle.

  “Not so fast, you orally-hygiene-challenged cretin,” I growled, my hand snapping out to grab onto its stubby little tail.

  It tried its best to break free, wiggling its hips so furiously that it would have placed first in the world finals of a twerking competition.

  “Bad bear!” I shouted. “Sit!”

  It let out a resigned, grumpy sigh, but then sank onto its haunches, looking at me with petulant eyes. I stared at it a moment longer before raising my finger threateningly.

  “You stay right there, mister. We’re not done with you yet. Now, I’m going to head back over to my friends. In a moment, the tall one will come over. I want you to rough him up a little, but don’t overdo it.”

  I strolled back over to my companions.

  I snorted at Kaelis’s absolutely mortified expression. I bet he wouldn’t have been so eager to become Rel’s disciple if he’d known what was in store for him.

  “I warmed him up for you, Kaelis,” I said. “Your turn.”

  Rel nodded encouragingly to his apprentice, who approached the bear hesitantly.

  “Remember, my disciple, your durability will be forged in the fires of your agony!”

  How did Rel come up with this shit?

  Kaelis broke into a jog as he approached the bear, a battle cry tearing free of his throat as he drew closer. The bear shot me a nervous glance, then stood up to intercept his new opponent.

  It once again lashed out with a paw, catching Kaelis clean on the chest.

  He hurtled a good twenty metres through the air before crashing against the trunk of a tree.

  “I told you not to overdo it, you asshole!” I yelled at the bear.

  It responded with a ‘guilty’ shrug that was not at all convincing.

  Fucking bears.

  Kaelis looked over at us and then smiled. It might have been reassuring were it not for the blood trickling between his teeth and running down his chin.

  “He’s not going to last a day, is he?” I muttered to Rel under my breath, while I shot Kaelis an encouraging thumbs up.

  “Nope,” said Rel, shrugging. “He’s fucked.”

  * * *

  You have gained 1 durability.

  Current durability: 9

  Even though one of his ribs had broken and pierced a lung, Kaelis was overjoyed. A durability gain on his first day of training - the Grandmaster truly was a genius!

  He turned to Rel and Pete, smiling broadly.

  His masters were deep in discussion, but based on the big thumbs up Pete was giving him, he assumed they were impressed by his performance.

  He withdrew a healing potion from his inventory and gulped it down.

  As he rose to his feet and once again strode forward to confront the bear, he fixed the Grandmaster’s words firmly in his mind.

  Lots of pain, lots of gains.