9 YEARS AGO

  “I’m sorry to be the one to break the news, but your wife was unable to survive her bite.”

  Those were the words that proved just how pointless my search for a cure was. A year spent running away from mutated beasts and shooting zombies that would’ve been better spent holding my wife’s soft hand as we talked about the most mundane topics ever. Time that could’ve been used to be with the woman I loved in her time of need, with… Victoria.

  What kind of husband was I? What kind of man…

  “God, I fucking suck,” I murmured to myself. Now I was sitting all alone in front of the same room she died in. Except she wasn’t there anymore. She had already transformed days before I made it to the hospital, and someone else had to put her down in my place. No one told me who yet.

  “You’re Jerome, right? You have a lot of nerve coming back here.”

  I turned to my right to see who was speaking to me. A woman wearing scrubs approached me, but I didn’t recognize her. I didn’t feel like trying either. So I kept my mouth shut, hoping she’d leave me alone.

  “Victoria and I would talk about many things every day, but you were the one she talked about the most. How much she loved and missed you. I didn’t think a former jailbird could attract someone like her.”

  Maybe I shouldn’t have brought back those rare flowers from Jersey. No point in giving them to a dead body.

  “I was with her when she gave birth to your daughter, and I took care of that baby with Victoria until she died. I hope you're not thinking of raising that girl now.”

  I wonder who put her down. Guess I can’t say they killed my wife since they did Victoria a favor, but still… it really should’ve been me.

  “You’re a disgrace of a man, and a disgrace of a father! The biggest mistake you ever made was abandoning those two when they needed y-”

  People wouldn’t say I was the type to hit girls, but today proved that opinion wrong. Before the blondie could finish her sentence, I sent her flying across the hallway, right into a collapsed vending machine.

  The woman moaned in pain as she clutched her shoulder. “You’re insane! If you think I won’t have you escorted out of here, then you’re mistak-”

  “Look, I respect what you people do and everything, but if you keep bothering me, then that punch won’t be the last thing I do to you.”

  “Jerome, what the hell are you doing in my building!?” Now that voice sounded familiar. When I turned to my left, I realized it was the hospital’s head doctor. She marched forward, fists clenched, like she was ready to explode. “If you’re gonna punch anyone here, it should be yourself.”

  I picked at my beard as I stood up. “You won’t have to worry about me, Angela. I’ll punch myself for all the days I wasn’t here after I leave.” The moment Angela reached me, I attempted to walk past her, but she stopped me with a hand on my chest.

  She groaned, pushing me back a bit. “If you’re gonna call me by my first name, at least slap a ‘Dr.’ in front of it. I didn’t spend nearly a decade earning that title just for some prick like you to ignore it.” Her personality was as fiery as her long, orange hair—tied back in five wild ponytails.

  “Cheating your way through college and medical school doesn’t make you a real doctor.” I glanced at the nurse I punched, who was now leaning on the wall. “If you were a real doctor, you’d be checking up on her right now.”

  Angela squinted at the girl. “Eh, I heard what she was saying from the room I was in. The girl was head over heels for Vicky. Maybe she deserved that punch. Oh, and speaking of punches.”

  Before I could react to her words, the doctor gave me a swift uppercut to my bearded chin. I reeled back, holding my jaw, eyes widened.

  She winced, shaking her hand around. “You’ve gotten tougher since I last saw you. You would've been on your butt before.”

  I didn’t say a word back to the doctor. Not ‘cause of the punch disoriented me that much. It was ‘cause I felt every ounce of emotion in her fist, and it told me one thing—I completely deserved that. You’d think with such an act of violence that she hated my guts, but the hug she gave me soon after.

  “I’m so sorry for your loss,” Angela said somberly. Her body was the warmest thing I felt today. “I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through today.”

  “Don’t express your condolences to someone who hit one of your coworkers,” I replied, keeping my arms at my side. “I don’t deserve that.”

  “Yea, you do. Although, I never took you for the type to hit girls..”

  “Look, can you just let me leave? I’ll even let you hug me all the way to the exit.”

  Angela looked up at me and sighed. “Fine, I’ll let you leave. But in exchange, you have to take your daughter with you.”

  Daughter!? Shit. I totally forgot Victoria would have given birth already. Missing the birth of my child and the death of…

  “God, I fucking suck,” I said under my breath.

  “I’m gonna be straight with you, Jerome,” said Angela. “It’s not like we don’t keep stray kids here. We do, but they’re usually orphans. In your kid’s case, she has a living, strong parent right here in you.”

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  My jaw tightened. “Hey, don’t put this parenting business on me. I could never be a parent. I mean, I already left my wife h-”

  “That’s exactly why you need to be a parent,” Angela cut off. “If you want to atone for what you did, then taking in that girl and raising her like any father should is what you need to do.”

  After a moment of thinking, I caved. “Fine, but don’t expect anything good from me.”

  ********

  “This is it. Room 205,” said Angela.

  I wiped my sweaty palms on my green cargo pants. “Alright. Now is better than never, I guess.” My hand was about to touch the doorknob until a question gnawing at my head decided it wanted to be answered. “Angela, who was the one who…”

  “Put Victoria down? I think you’ll understand once you step inside.” After a couple seconds of silence, the doctor lightly pushed me forward. “C’mon. You’re a man, aren’t you? Don’t keep the girl waiting any longer. You’re the only family she has left now. Don’t take that away from her.”

  I nodded, grabbing the doorknob. “Thank you… Dr. Angela.”

  The smile on the woman’s face was the motivation I needed to take that first step inside. The room was the same as all the other one’s.

  The only differences were the handgun and the baby holding it, aiming it at us. I didn’t need to be told who she was. Her curly hair, face, and skin the color of sand bathed in sunlight–the spitting image of my wife. I was pretty sure the only thing she inherited from me was the need to threaten strangers. Her eyes were bright, yet lifeless, like there was a missing piece.

  “She’s like… one, right?” I asked, furrowing my brows. “Or around there? That is one strong ass baby. How the hell is she holding that?”

  “She’s a lot more advanced than others her age. I personally haven’t seen anyone like her before,” Angela informed.

  “There’s advanced, and then there’s holding a two pound weapon. Have you people been roiding her up?” As if carrying a gun wasn’t already impressive, the one year old decided to stand up with her little legs. “What kinda baby is this, doctor?”

  Angela smiled cheekily. “Hey, your balls contributed to this, don’t forget that.”

  “Jerome… Hunter.” At that point, I was more surprised the baby actually knew my name than the fact she just spoke. That was when I remembered what Angela told me before I opened the door, and a realization struck like lightning.

  “It was her, wasn’t it?” I asked. “My daughter had to put Victoria down, didn’t she?”

  A year had passed since the world changed, and a common courtesy had already been established during that time—if a relative turned, then a relative should pull the trigger. Victoria and I had no other family left that could’ve done the job, and I was out trying to find a cure. The only family member left advanced enough to do the job was… this infant.

  Angela never answered my question. That was fine. I already knew what I had to do.

  I gave the doctor a look, and she nodded. Seemingly knowing what I wanted her to do, Angela left the room, her orange figure disappearing from the door’s window.

  My attention turned back to my daughter as I crouched down to her level. The gun was now dangerously close to my forehead, ready to be fired at any moment. “You haven't pulled the trigger, which tells me you still want an explanation from me.”

  The girl stared silently, her hands unwavering. Her eyes didn’t look to show any hatred, but I didn’t see any love within them either. Only thing I saw was caution.

  “I don’t blame you for pointing that gun at my bald head,” I laughed. “If I were you, I’d be doing the same thing. I mean, I’ve had a shitty dad too, so I know exactly how you’re…” The words stopped coming out, and I feared whatever I’d say next could change the trajectory of this new relationship.

  “She’s… n-n-not here… a-anymore because of… us.”

  Her words hurt more than an uppercut ever could. I didn’t find her pauses or stuttering to be ‘cause of some sort of speech impediment. Moreso, it felt like she was searching for specific words that could describe our situation. However, there was one word in that sentence that didn’t need to be there.

  Us.

  I gently placed my forehead on the gun’s muzzle, my eyes locked onto the baby. “I’m sorry. I was about to say something that just wasn’t true at all. I could never relate to the pain you went through. Having to do… that to your own mother ‘cause your dad’s too much of a coward to do it himself is… terrible.”

  Silence filled the room for a moment, memories of the past couple of months hitting me one by one until it was too much. My face was wet, and I noticed drops of water were on the ground.

  I looked up. No leak in the ceiling. Once I felt another stream of liquid run down my face, I realized that it was coming from me. I was leaking.

  I looked down, hiding my face from the girl. “I was out searching for some kinda zombie bite cure, but… I think I gave up on that five months in. I mean, what chance do I have if skilled professionals can’t find one? But I still kept going.”

  Even when I wiped my face continuously, the tears were relentless. “A part of me knew if I came back, I’d have to see Victoria again… dying. And whenever I thought of me having to put her down, it kept me from coming back. Just imagine your spouse leaving you alone for months to find some imaginary cure, and they come back empty handed. She’d probably despise me. I even forget that you existed. No wonder you wanna shoot me so bad. You obviously hate me too. Why the hell am I even crying? I guess we know who the real baby is, right?”

  My awkward laugh after didn’t exactly help with containing my emotions, but it came out on its own volition.

  After a big sniff, I said, “What was I even thinking? I could never be your father. Maybe you should just shoot me here and n-”

  I was stopped by a loose leaf paper being waved in my face. The girl had somehow walked away during my little rant, grabbed the paper, and came right back to give it to me. There were dried zombie ooze stains on it—a grim reminder of what my wife has to live through.

  “What’s this?” I asked, taking it from her hands. “‘To Keep Our Sun Shining?’ What is this? Like a poem? Don’t tell me you’re a skilled writer too.”

  She pointed to the title at the top and said, “Mom c-created this… for me… and you. Sing it… to me.”

  I swallowed the spit stuck in my mouth. “Sing? Well, I’m not the greatest singer, but alright.”

  I’LL KILL ALL SORTS OF SAVAGE BEASTS

  WITH NO FEAR OF DYING

  AND GLADLY LIVE THIS HELLISH LIFE

  TO KEEP OUR SUN SHINING

  NO RAGING DOG, NO SMELLY BEASTS, NOT EVEN A HUNGRY LION

  WILL HAVE MY LOVE ROTTING

  ‘CAUSE WHEN I LOOK UP TO THE SKY

  OUR SUN IS STILL SHINING

  SO IF YOU’LL GIVE ME YOUR HEART

  AND LOVE ME FOR ETERNITY

  I PROMISE TO KEEP OUR SUNSHINE BRIGHT

  AND HOLD IT VERY TIGHTLY

  SO IF WE CAN LOVE, LAUGH, AND SWEETLY HOLD

  TO KEEP OUR SPIRITS BEAMING

  SO THAT EVEN THROUGH THE BUTS AND DESPITES

  OUR SUN IS STILL SHINING

  AND WHEN I DIE AND LEAVE THIS LIFE

  DON’T LET THE SORROW DROWN YOU

  ‘CAUSE EVEN WHEN I'M DEAD AND GONE

  MY LIFE IS STILL INSIDE YOU

  SO KILL ALL SORTS OF SAVAGE BEASTS

  WITH NO FEAR OF DYING

  AND LIVE THAT HELLISH LIFE WITH HER

  IF IT KEEPS OUR SUN SHINING

  Ten times.

  That was the amount of times my daughter made me read… sing those lines. Maybe it wasn’t totally against my will considering she started singing with me in the fifth round. She even let me carry and dance with her near the end. Despite my horrible skills, I started to realize something as I sang the lyrics over and over again.

  This child was the most important thing Victoria and I could’ve created through our time together.

  The goal given to me was clear now—keep our daughter shining. Only way I could assure that was to help her survive, raise her to the best of my ability.

  No. “The best I can” wasn’t an option here. I needed to go beyond that and surpass my limits to be that father for her.

  But first, there was still an important aspect of being a parent that I forgot to do.

  I smiled at my daughter. “I’m gonna call you Sunshine. Sunshine Hunter. Pretty cool, right?”

  She gave me a thumbs up, and the newly named Sunshine decided to celebrate by pulling at my beard.

  Suddenly, a loud thud behind us made me jump, causing me to turn around. It was Angela, and her tearful eyes told me she’d been through a lot in the last thirty minutes or so. And here I thought doctors were supposed to be strict with their emotions.

  What patient here could have possibly brought her to tears?

  “You two are as sweet as a diabetic’s blood mixed with processed sugar!” she cried, gesturing for me to pick her up. “If you keep this going, my brain will have a serious meltdown. I just can’t have you two in this building if it’s gonna lead to that.”

  So she was listening in on us…

  I laughed a bit, helping her off the ground with one hand. “In other words, you’re letting me leave here with my daughter. No ifs, ands, or buts?”

  “What are you talking about? My goal today was to get you to leave with that little cutie no matter what, even if I had to force you by gunpoint.”

  “That sounds highly unprofessional for a doctor to say or do…”

  “Oh yeah, there is a ‘but’ to all this though.” She grabbed my shoulders and put on a serious expression. “You can take her, but you have to live. I don’t care how you do it. Just don’t do something dangerous out there and get yourself turned into one of those… monsters. If you do, I’m afraid you won’t be able to control your-”

  “Angela, my job as a parent now is to protect my child from any harm, so dying isn’t an option for me. Besides, if I do get zombified, you really think I’d eat a baby?”

  The doctor raised an eyebrow at me.

  “I promise I’ll never hurt this girl,” I assured, placing a hand on her cheek. “And if I do, I’ll make sure to give myself a good punch.”

  The woman smiled. “Ok.”