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Chapter 8: Birth of the Bitter Old Woman

  David woke up from his floor bed to the smell of something grilling. Groaning as he stretched himself awake, he slowly made his way downstairs to the kitchen area, where he found Niala in the process of making breakfast using the old alchemy burners. One of them had something brownish slowly bubbling over it in a beaker. She beamed him a smile as he walked through the door.

  “Good morning! Did you sleep well enough? Do you want an egg-and-cheese toast?” She asked, offering a plate with an... egg-and-cheese toast.

  Still bleary-eyed, he nodded and took the offered plate – one of the new ones she'd bought in Bellharbour.

  “It occurred to me last night, after a bent floor board forcefully embraced one of my ribs for the third time, that this town did actually have quite a few inns. At least one of them must have soft beds.” He said, eyes unfocused, as he sniffed the toast.

  Niala's smile faltered a bit. “Oh... ah...” Her ears flopped down. “I'm sorry, you're right. It really would have been more comfortable for you. I just...”

  He looked up when she didn't say anything else.

  “You just enjoy having a man sleeping at your feet?”

  Her eyes shot up to meet his gaze, beginning to blush, before she saw his grin, and then glared at him.

  “I can't show you any kindness! You jump on it like a starved... mean... meanie!”

  “Please show me all the kindness you can. I'm certain I'll get used to it.” He said before taking a bite, completely ignoring her ongoing glare.

  Eventually, she took an angry bite of her own toast.

  “This is actually pretty good. You added spice? Tastes like an extra something...” David commented.

  Her ears propped up at the praise. Quickly swallowing, she replied. “I did! Secret breakfast spice blend. I will take the recipe to my grave, so if you want more of it, you'd better be nicer to me!” She stuck her tongue at him before chomping another bite.

  “Hmm. If only the spices could heal my poor, abused back.” He said, taking another bite himself.

  She rolled her eyes as she got up and stepped to the burner with the bubbling liquid on top, turning it off and using a rag to pick up the beaker, filling two of her new cups from it.

  She brought him one and kept one for herself. She finished her mouthful and explained. “Drink that. I found what I needed in the garden out back for an energizer. I skipped on the taste part a bit, but it's fully effective otherwise.”

  He took the offered cup and eyed the liquid for a bit, sniffing it, then taking a tiny sip. He grimaced.

  She raised an eyebrow. “Not to your liking?” She asked.

  “I've met old childless women who were forced into an arranged marriage that neither side wanted, whose husband has been repeatedly cheating on them with young girls a third their age, who were less bitter than this.”

  “Oh come on, it's not that bad!” She exclaimed.

  He shrugged. “Must be an acquired taste.” He replied before taking another sip.

  She eyed him with suspicion before tasting the brew herself, nearly spitting it back out instantly. “BLECH! Founding gods, it IS that bad!”

  She looked up at him as he took another sip, staring at her.

  “How are you drinking this!?”

  “I must have acquired the taste.”

  “No, bleed this. I think I saw some sweetleaf and mint out back...” She said as she got up and walked to the garden.

  He continued eating and sipping the bitter brew as he waited.

  Before long, she was back, stuffing a few herbs in a mortar and crushing them a bit before dropping a pinch in her cup and stirring it in.

  She tested another sip and nodded. “Much better. You want some?”

  He wordlessly moved his cup to her, and she dropped a pinch in it before stirring it a little.

  He nodded in thanks as he brought the cup back to his lips.

  “I think you broke my sense of taste.”

  She looked up. “What? Why?” She asked as she sipped her own cup.

  “I preferred the old woman taste.”

  “PRRFFFT!” Niala managed to mostly spit her mouthful back into her cup. She pointed at him while she coughed a little.

  “New-” *cough* “New rule! No saying a drink tastes like an old woman!” She declared, scowling at him, ears pointed back.

  He nodded. “That's a good rule.”

  They ate the remainder of breakfast in silence and calm contentment.

  “It's strange. I feel really fine. All my aches are gone.” David said as he and Niala walked to the north gate in the early morning bells.

  “I told you, it's the energizer I brewed,” Niala said.

  “Energizers just give you a bit of extra energy,” David replied.

  She shook her head, tail swaying. “Not my energizer. I also added a bit of a rejuvenation and pain-soothing effect.”

  “You did all that with weeds from the backyard?”

  “Not weeds!” She argued. “There's actually quite a spread of herbs and roots in the small garden patch. At first, I thought it was just an overgrown vegetable patch, but Hodge said that Jasmund had been a botanist, so I guess it makes sense.”

  She thought for a second.

  This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

  “With some weeding and replanting, that small garden would actually be a really convenient source of common herbs and roots for brewing potions.”

  “Are you an herbalist too?” David asked as he glanced back at her.

  “Every self-respecting alchemist needs to know at least some herbalism.” She puffed out her chest, ears pointed up and wiggling. “And I'm the best alchemist in the region, so I'm a pretty good herbalist, obviously!”

  He returned his gaze forward. “Multi-talented and humble.” He said.

  “My father always said there's no shame in knowing what your strengths are and letting people know.”

  “Hmm. A fine line between confidence and gloating, but so far you're on the side of deserved confidence.”

  “... Is that praise or a veiled insult?”

  “A veiled praise.”

  “What is that supposed to mean!?”

  “I'm just being annoyingly cryptic.”

  He heard her speed up and reach him, lightly punching him on his back.

  “You ARE annoying!”

  He smiled.

  A quarter bell later, they had reached the north gate, signing off with the gate guards and walking across the drawbridge that led into the ruinlands, the last known location of Jasmund.

  David scanned his surroundings before making his way to a patch of open ground hidden from view of the town, Niala following him, the tip of her tail swishing in curiosity.

  He dug a cargo cloth out of his pouch, laid it on the ground and activated it, several rolled up cargo cloths phasing out of it.

  “You can do that?” Niala asked.

  “Do what?”

  “Put cargo-cloths inside other cargo-cloths.”

  “Nobody ever told me I couldn't.” He explained as he unrolled the cloths and inspected what was held within, eventually choosing one and activating it, extracting its content, which turned out to be a set of potions and pouches, a lamellar leather armour, a small axe, a dagger, a sword and a crossbow with a bundle of metal-tipped broad head bolts. He rolled all the cargo cloths back up, storing them once more.

  “What's all this?” Niala asked as she observed the various equipment.

  “My Go Explore A Potentially Dangerous Place gear.” He explained as he began equipping everything.

  She eyed him for a while.

  “Do you have anything for me?”

  He stopped and looked at her, hesitating. “Sorry, you'll have to stay in town.”

  “What? Why!? Aren't we solving the mystery together?” She sounded a little hurt.

  He sighed, turning toward her. “As much as I'd like to say that yes, you can come and that I'd keep you safe no matter what, that would be both stupidly dangerous and a lie.”

  She deflated. “Oh... I understand, I'm not... good enough for this.”

  He sighed again, walking up to her and putting a hand on her shoulder.

  “Hard and honest truths keep people alive. I'd like you to stay alive.”

  She looked up, slightly mollified, but still disappointed. He let go of her shoulder and sighed again.

  “I can train you if you want to accompany me on expeditions bu-”

  “Yes!”

  “...but you'll have to learn to run for more than 5 minutes.”

  “No!”

  “It's not negotiable. Running good equates not dying bad.” He nodded at his own wisdom. “I have run away from many problems. It's why I'm still alive.”

  She eyed him, defiant, before giving up.

  “Urgh, fine. I'll train... but you have to help me!” She perked back up, pointing at him.

  “Sure. That'll be fun. For me.”

  “Wh... what do you mean?”

  He just smiled, then finished gearing up.

  “What do you mean!?”

  “You'll see. Now, do you have the stupid music box?” He asked as he pulled out another cargo cloth, unfurling it. This time, the image of its stored content seemed to be covered by a sheet, which turned out to be the case as he extracted its content.

  She squinted at him before digging the box out of her pouch and giving it to him. “Why is there a sheet on top of that cloth's content?” She asked as she pointed to the cloth.

  “Secret Free Courier equipment. Don't want people to be able to see what's in it.”

  “I get to see it?” She asked excitedly.

  “Hmm, maybe some of it. Nothing is really a huge secret; we just like to act and stay mysterious.”

  She gave him a side eye. “You don't say?”

  “Your father always said there's no shame in letting people know what your strengths are.”

  She glared at him, ears pointing up, tail extended. “You don't get to use my father's sayings against me, and it doesn't even make any sense! Your strength is being mysterious?!”

  He grinned. “Yes.”

  “... I give up.” She sighed before peering over his shoulder at the secret equipment as David pulled back the sheet, revealing some of the knick-knacks assembled upon the cloth.

  There were a variety of tubes, boxes, strings, rocks, carved sticks, rolled scrolls, animal parts and so on.

  Niala observed its content for a bit, ears wiggling. “It just looks like random junk.”

  “What were you expecting?” David asked as he retrieved a small rock carved in the effigy of a raven with overly large eyes, a small pouch and what looked like a desiccated finger with a string attached to it, before covering the cloth back up and re-packaging its contents.

  “I don't know. Some glowy magical things? Hi-Magitech doodads? Something that didn't look like it belonged in Hodge's pile?”

  “Please don't talk about Hodge's pile.”

  “...right, I said I wouldn't. Sorry.”

  He nodded. “It's ok, I forgive you. Just don't do it again.”

  “Hmmm. What are those things you picked up from all that junk?”

  He blinked, looking at the three objects in his hands, back up to Niala.

  “It's not junk? These are Free Courier artifacts passed down through generations of Free Courier, from one mentor to student and so on.”

  He held up the carved rock, the pouch and the dried finger. “These are important tools for my job.”

  She squinted and eyed the three objects. “Let's just say I believe you. So, what do they do?”

  He sighed before pointing at the carved rock.

  “The fleeting knowledge of the everlasting flock. It helps to track down mana signatures. It's only mostly accurate if the mana signature is still alive. When people die, their signed mana disperses over time, so for corpses, it's only a general indicator, and though it can sense quite far, it doesn't have unlimited range, so I need to have at least a general idea of where the person went.”

  He next pointed at the finger. “Martyr's accusatory declaration. It points to the nearest higher life-form corpse. That means people in general. You can't specify whose corpse, though, just the nearest one, that's why I have this as well.” He pointed to the pouch.

  “Gravedigger's secret. It's a powder that obfuscates the resting places of corpses. If the finger doesn't point me to the right corpse, I sprinkle a bit of this power over it and try again. It only lasts for a few days, but that's plenty of time for my needs. Originally, it was used by assassins to hide a corpse just long enough for them to properly escape.”

  Niala's eyes widened in understanding. “Wait. Are you serious? That's amazing! Doesn't that mean you can track down anyone whose mana signature you have, dead or alive?”

  David grinned. “See? I'm not just a mailman.”

  She slowly nodded. She might, might, have been slightly underestimating David's usefulness beyond just having big, lovely, squeezable muscles.

  He must never know.

  He kept grinning.

  He knows...

  She buried her face in her hands.

  lot of cool toys.

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