11th month, 24th day, 967

  Malcolm

  "Malcolm…my brave little spark - that you yet live is nothing short of a miracle. It is too late for me, little one, but not for thee. Please, do your dear grandma one last favor - live a long and happy life."

  I…I finally remembered gran-gran's final words to me. In that flash of light in the mastermind's lair, I heard them; I'm almost certain I was smiling like a drunk. After that everything went white, and then the scene from my childhood played out once again but this time everything was crystal clear. My grandmother, arch-mage Merlinda, had teleported right into the house and saw my parents' corpses. Then her ears twitched with joy, standing full-erect, when she saw that not only was I still alive, but also free of symptoms. Once over her surprise, she spoke those last words to me and teleported away; she didn't want me to watch her die, and she didn't need me to hear her say as much for me to realize that now.

  For the first time in many years, everything made sense.

  My eyes opened, slowly, I was lying on my back in what looked like the inside of a church - yes, it looked like it belonged to the Lucan faith. Something felt strange, my body didn't feel as heavy as it once did; no, I don't mean I couldn't feel my limbs or any such nonsense; yet I did check by flexing my extremities juuuust in case. I sat up, nobody was in here with me, and I realized that I was wearing a linen gown; ah, a house of healing. Hylaria was our fallback spot of course so I realized that I must be there. A window looked out to the garden, though it was winter there was still plenty of greenery. Yes, Hylaria's famous Everspring Gardens, scattered throughout the capital. Quite a spectacular feat of life and nature magic was their creation.

  But for some reason the colors just seemed brighter, more vibrant than they had before. Strange. Now that I thought of it, my head felt different - lighter, as though shackles of iron had been rent asunder and clanged to the ground. A nurse came in, saw me, and ran out excitedly - she returned with none other than Victor and Princess Illiana.

  The princess of course grabbed me and started sobbing.

  “We were worried you’d never wake up,” she cried. “You were unresponsive seven whole days even though I and two Lucan priests…”

  Seven days? Oh my.

  Victor, on the other hand, was leaning against the doorframe. “Good to see you awake, Mal.” He said with his characteristic stoicism, ah but I could tell he was holding back tears of joy - you can’t fool me old boy!

  I said, “So, I take it we won our battle against the Mastermind.”

  Victor stuck his thumb up and said, “Ya better believe it. Your sonic bullet came in clutch there.”

  I nodded, “In other words, it was instrumental in sounding his defeat.”

  We all laughed together and - wait. What was this? Where was the undertow? Usually when I had a moment of happiness I felt an immediate undertow dragging me back down into the dumps. The princess looked at me with a surprised expression, and Victor was just as surprised by her reaction as I was.

  "Malcolm," she said, stunned, "I can no longer feel that dark presence in your heart."

  Huh? Well now that's an odd thing to say, surely- I froze. She was right. I wasn't feeling unmotivated. I wasn't feeling tired or sluggish. Hungry though, well that was actually a good sign.

  “Impossible - the despair that once had my heart bound by serpentine coils…is no more?”

  Victor grabbed me by the shoulders, my word, was Mister Stoic actually tearing up again?

  "Don't this just beat all…but, how?"

  I thought that it could have been that psychic blast knocked something loose, or perhaps it was the catharsis from having destroyed the bastard responsible for my initial trauma, or the fact that I've been going out and doing things rather than wallowing in self-pity, or the fact that I finally remembered gran-gran's last words, it could even have been something as trite as divine intervention, or some combination thereof…but most of all-

  “Hmm, I could think of many potential reasons but!” I embraced the two of them. “Personally I choose to believe that, in the end, it was your friendship that broke the serpent’s back. But no matter the how of it, I'm afraid I can no longer call myself a mad jester."

  I jumped up and spun around, "Whoops, I spoke too soon - I'm still a little bit odd, but that is of course part and parcel of being an actor, a singer, and a writer. Actually, if I’m not careful I dare say I might just learn to fly!"

  The princess said, "Your personality seems the same as ever," she struck her palm with the heel of her hand, “Ah! I had noticed a light inside you trying to break through - now that there’s nothing holding you back…”

  I stroked my beard, "Hmm. Yes it seems that my outward playful demeanor has fully integrated with how I feel on the inside. Or perhaps my true self has always been weighted down.””

  Victor said, “You've become the mask."

  "Precisely old boy!" I laughed, "I feel like a man reborn! Bugger me, I'm rather famished though."

  We all had a laugh and the two of them ran off to tell the others, and to get me some breakfast. I spoke to each person in turn, Lady Nenewyn and Sylfie were especially happy to see me awake - and you know what? I was happy to see them too! For real! I cried more tears of joy than I ever had. Sure enough, when my scrambled eggs with grilled steak strips a la Victor showed up, the flavors tasted stronger and the nice smells smelt nicer.

  I had no idea what was going on. Damn. I started to think that maybe I'd need to resign from adventuring, go off on my own on a journey of self-discovery. It did give me pause. My depression and despair had been with me for so long that I didn't know what to fill the void with - don't mistake me, I didn't miss it and neither should you! If you cease to like me because I lost my crippling illness then you never liked me to begin with, I say!

  Taking some time off was something I had to consider. Ah, Sylfie was going to be leaving for Kurvania and Victor was going to give her a ride back - that made sense, there are some very beautiful cliff faces on the way from here to there and he does have a fast car. She had been waiting for me to wake up, and now they were talking about absconding the very next day. So I'd have until then to make my decision.

  I was feeling well enough to take a stroll outside, so I did! The flavor of food gave me joy, the colors of the flowers were no longer muted, why I was even enjoying the crisp cold air of winter for itself. Oh a band of street musicians were playing Windbrook’s first symphony, ah, that sounded splendid too! With the world seeming more vibrant and delicious, I thought to myself, is there not aught else that I should like to try - I could have sworn there was one other thing that wasn’t giving me any happiness back then…food, drink, color, sounds, music, what the short-devil was the last one?

  Hullo, what's this?

  Rayna

  In my homeland of Hyperion, far north of Hylaria, it is customary for a woman to remain chaste until a man has defeated her in single combat. That is how husbands and wives are chosen, by a test of strength. So, what happens when a woman is a particularly formidable warrior and none of her suitors are able to win against her fair and square? She doesn't get any gods damned satisfaction, that's what!

  Why did I have to be blessed with such strength while also cursed with such a strong sex drive? I wanted to be taken, I wanted to be ravished, to be thrashed and tossed about, but none of the men in my village could lay a hand on me in combat - which meant that they couldn't lay a hand on me in bed either! If I threw the match it would be too obvious; everyone knows that Rayna Fire-Hair is a powerful warrior, the strongest in the land!

  I’d never get married if I stayed, so I left. I travelled down to the south lands in order to seek out a strong man who could defeat me in combat and put an end to my cursed maidenhood. That is when I stumbled upon the adventurer's guild and I joined. I didn't speak the language at first, but I somehow managed. I met Falstad in my second or third adventuring party, and we became good friends. That party split up and then we formed the White Wolves - the name had been his idea.

  At first it was just Falstad, Guy, the priest Brand, and myself - soon we were joined by Selafyn. The five of us had many brave adventures, then dear Falstad died and Brand ran away; Guy and Selafyn stuck with me, friends true. They were both strong and handsome, but neither of them seemed interested in me at all - even Selafyn, who flirted with every fair damsel that came within a hundred yards of us. I had to give up on pursuing them romantically, but leastways they remained my steadfast companions.*

  But what happened in the mountains was inexcusable! I recently witnessed power beyond reason: Valyrian, a living legend. Perhaps the tale is better told by the man himself, but that fight with Snacqua told me everything that I needed to know about his strength. The killing blow had been mine, but it was Valyrian who set it up for me by pinning the dragon. If there was any man who could defeat me handedly, it was Valyrian Ilmer yae Anaura. But for some inexplicable reason, Valyrian never even approached me! Gah! I'd even winked at him and he didn't budge!

  I'd just got done with my squats routine in my inn room and was sitting by the window looking out upon the Everspring Gardens. We had been back for several days and I was considering where I would go next. There had been a great deal of treasure in the Black Order's sanctum and I'd been told that its value was unimaginably high. But what use is money when I am so preoccupied? No matter how much exercise I did, no matter how much frustration I vented in combat, no matter how many ways I stoked my own furnace, the ache was as strong as it had ever been.

  Enough is enough. I am tired of waiting, and to the hells with tradition. I will take the first offer that I get from any man, mighty warrior or not!

  Huh? A knock at the door. I wonder who that could be.

  Nenewyn

  I never thought I would find myself so hard-pressed. Selafyn’s eyes were staring intently in my direction, and my eyes were cast down. I took a deep breath, stretched my hand forward and deftly took hold of something hard, pillar-like in its aspect. I felt each ridge as the tips of my fingers ran down its length. Then I squeezed and moved my wrist with intense concentration. Then I released my hand and exhaled. I steepled my fingers and gave a wry smile in the half-elf’s direction.

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  “Check,” I said.

  “Damn,” he said, crossing his arms. “That’s a good move.”

  Of course it was. I’d played chess against Hanzorian, Prince Illorien, Sylfie, and others; Master Tarian had taught me the game and I’d gotten fairly decent at it. Even Hanzorian only had a 50/50 win record against me. One doesn’t become a wizard without learning at least the basics, and magical notation isn’t that much different from algebra. I had thought the young half-elf to be nothing but a playboy, yet here he was matching me move for move despite his young age and despite never having had a formal education.

  Still though there was aught else on my mind - the true nature of The Mastermind, as reported by Victor and Her Highness, gave me pause. Just what was he? Who had created him and through what terrifying means? What had Tarian known that made him a target of the Black Order? How came the Black Order to have such a frighteningly intelligent ally? Just what was the nature of his power? I wondered if we would ever find answers to those questions.

  We continued to play; he was white, I was black, of course, as is the tradition. I was amazed at how good he was. Was this beginner’s luck, or was there a deeper cunning hidden behind those reddish-brown eyes whose surface I’d yet to even scratch.

  Meli’s magics had proven him to be of royal blood - he was the son of Prince Valyrian as I deduced and as Sylfie guessed from the very beginning. We tested her spell numerous times on various subjects; for example we determined Mister Popper to not be related to his wife, we determined that his children were his, and that the children were full siblings with each other.

  I thought that Hanzorian might be keenly interested in the implications of the newly christened spell in the investigations of crimes so of course I resolved to memorize the spell myself; a paltry task for such as I. For the first time ever I had mastered a pattern spell above novice grade - I finally did it. Ha, I’d never have become so confident in myself had I not gone on this journey. Yes, I learned something on over the past few months: Nenewyn Andaure is a competent and powerful wizard who-

  Suddenly Selafyn said, “Checkmate.”

  Huh? “What do you mean-”

  Selafyn laughed, “I mean, checkmate.”

  Surely not. I looked at the pieces on the board and…gah!

  He got me.

  Victor

  Everything was packed up and ready to go. My girlfriend and I were getting ready to take her sister back to Kurvania. Ain't never gonna get tired of calling Illiana that - well, I mean, until we got hitched of course after which she'd be my wife instead. God, I never thought that takin' a road trip out to hunt some ornery pigs would lead to me finding my true love; crazy the kind of shit life throws at ya sometimes. There I was just an average American guy and I was dating a princess, an elf capable of using magic no less - Sakamoto would die of envy.

  Huh where was Mal, he's usually up pretty early. Sylfaena had also been lagging behind, but eventually she came down, slung her luggage into the trunk, and sat in the back behind Illiana. I started up the car and turned on some music.

  "So, where's Malcolm?" enquired Sylfaena.

  "I don't know," said Illiana, “I haven’t seen him since yesterday.”

  Just when I thought we’d have to leave him behind, there came a sudden cry, "Sorry old boy!"

  Mal came sauntering over and sat in the seat behind mine. What was with that extra happy expression on his face? "I overslept just a little, you see, I was up rather late. I could never abandon my friends to go find myself or something equally banal as that - because it was my friends who helped me in my darkest hour!"

  Huh? I never accused him of wanting to, just thought his tardiness was unusual is all. I smiled, and said "well you do look chipper though, what, get laid or something?

  He raised a finger and grinned with eyes shut, "Precisely old boy!"

  "Huh, I was joking, well, congrats, man!"

  Illiana said, "Wait, you didn't fuck my sister or Nenewyn did you?”

  Damn! I didn't think she was capable of cussing. Well, color me surprised.

  Sylfaena groaned, "Sis, you and I shared a room last night - you would have noticed.”

  Mal waved a hand, "Nay, your sister is like a sister to me and one does not do something so crass to a woman like Lady Nenewyn, nay, such a kind and intelligent wizard such has herself should be, with utmost care and affection, made love to instead. Besides, my interest in her is strictly platonic. No, I spent the night with a woman who is, far and away, more my type."

  Illiana cried "Well then, who?"

  "Tut-tut your highness," said Mal, "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell!"

  Wait a minute, that is one hundred percent code for “you know her”; but I figured I wouldn’t point that out.

  “More importantly,” said Sylfaena, arms crossed, “If I’m as a sister to you, then shouldn’t you be-”

  “Ah, of course,” said Mal, who proceeded to give Sylfie a big hug; okay that was sweet.

  Just then I saw Rayna in my rearview mirror, hustling down the street. I rolled the window down and she approached the vehicle. She seemed more relaxed than usual.

  "Victor," she said, "The boys and I will be making for Tor Anaura once Guy is done taking care of things at home; we plan to spend the winter there."

  "Oh great," I said, "Guess we'll meet you there!"

  Rayna nodded, and turned to Mal, "Thanks again, Malcolm. I may call upon you another night."

  Mal winked, “Any time!"

  Rayna started jogging, and waved to us as she gained distance. Huh? Thanks for what exactly - no way.

  Illiana cried, "Wait, it was her wasn't it?"

  She'd guessed the same as I had. Huh, so Rayna's his type? I suppose Mal likes strong cunning warrior types. Tomboys who ain't afraid to put a nice dress on and play the harp every once in a while.

  Mal threw his hands. "Well cat's out of the bag! I confess that it was quite thrilling, actually, much more satisfying than I could have anticipated; t'was all the proof I needed that I'm cured, really. As it turns out Rayna had been desperate for masculine attention for quite a while - So much so that I had but to enquire if she'd like a tryst, and she accepted! She had been dropping hints to those other two fellows but they weren't picking them up much to the poor dear's frustration."

  I laughed, "Selafyn too, surely you can't be serious."

  "Yes, I am serious, and don't call me Sara. Even the notorious skirt-chaser Valyrian hadn't made a pass at her. I told her that men are simple creatures and prone to missing signals - and that, though I hated to break it to her: both her party members are convinced that she prefers the company of women."

  Illiana said, "Huh? They thought that of her? But wait, Malcolm, how could you go and do that after what we just found out what happened to Big Brother? She's also an adventuress do you have any idea how inconvenient it would be if she fell with child?"

  Sylfaena was glaring at him too. I wanted to say, well he did just get out of a dangerous situation and was lost and confused and that's just what guys do, and it wasn't uncommon for adventurers, specifically, to engage in recreational coitus, or the fact that financially speaking we did just earn her enough to put the kid through University, but I didn't feel like getting blown out the car with various sorts of magic today. That said, my girlfriend did have a point.

  Mal wagged a finger, "Tut, tut, tut, I thought of that, which is why," he flipped something into the bench seat up front. Sylfaena gave out a long "ohhhh", and her attitude shifted - was that a thumb's up in my rear view mirror too, sweet, it's spreading. Huh, what had he done? Illiana was reading the label of a tiny cardboard box - oh. Oh!

  I laughed, "You scoundrel, ya stole one of my prophylactics."

  Blushing, Illiana cried, "Is that what you meant by a lifelong condition?"

  Sylfaena chuckled, "Well life is lifelong," she slumped, sighing, "If only our dear brother had access to 'em." She shook her head, "No, that's not a fair thing to say. Selafyn isn't actually a bad person and I'm glad to have him as a nephew. All the same, it'd be nice to prevent future incidents."

  Mal said, "Yes, but these could use a magic enhancement to make them feel less obtrusive otherwise I fear a man like his highness wouldn't use them."

  Sylfaena snatched the box from Illiana and said, with a single starry spark in her left eye, "On it! Hmm pattern magic could be used to copy the the texture of-"

  I laughed, brushing their banter aside, "Well have fun with those, I won't be needing them."

  I was in a committed relationship now, of course they're useless to me. I glanced at Illiana.

  She started, looking like she'd just remembered something, "Gah! I'm sorry sis, Malcolm, before we continue, um. I have something important to tell you, and I'm sorry I didn't say anything yesterday." Oh, that. "Sir Victor and I shared our first kiss two nights ago, and have and have just entered a serious relationship of the romantic sort - so um - before we start travelling together you should know that we're going to be kissing and holding hands a great deal - and um - eventually we'll start doing other things. Sooner rather than later I hope actually, because I've already decided I want him to ravis-"

  Sylfaena stopped her with a force bop, then smiled, "Congratulations sis. Took you long enough to confess to him. That certainly explains all of the sleep giggling." Illiana face-faulted, and Sylfaena lowered her head with a pained smile. “I’m just glad you two were able to realize you were in love before it was too late - unlike I.”

  Illiana cried, “Sis, I’m sorrryyyyy!” Sylfaena gave Illiana a reassuring headpat.

  Mal, on the other hand, had a look of consternation. "Wait!" he said, while simultaneously pinching his thumb and index finger together and drawing a line in the air as though miming a zipper, which abruptly caused my car radio to go silent. "What do you mean you just became a couple two nights ago?"

  I said, "It means what it sounds like, two nights ago Illiana became my sweetheart. She confessed her love and I reciprocated, that's usually how it works, my friend."

  Mal pinched the bridge of his nose, "Which is to say you two weren't involved before? As in, you two weren't already a couple from the day we first met? Seriously?"

  My God, he wasn't joking. I shook my head, "No, Mal, we've just been good friends before now. Didn't the fact that we never kissed or held hands at all clue you in?"

  His jaw dropped. "I thought you two were holding back for my sake. That was half the reason I was considering staying behind! It beggars belief!"

  I didn't know he was considering that, well I can't read his internal monologue, ya know. That said…

  I stopped the car, and smirked, "Well if you think that havin' an audience is gonna stop me, then please, allow me to rebut." I pulled Illiana in for a kiss, yeah my hands went places.

  Sylfaena said, "Oh, he went for the boob grab too. Nice!" I couldn't see her with my eyes closed but I could swear she was doing the gun finger across the chin style thinking pose.

  Mal folded his arms, "Once a fool, always a fool, I suppose. Well then," he laughed, "Couldn't be happier for you two if I tried. Ah, yes, I've decided that I'm going to go back to writing plays, epics, and eddas - and I can think of no better subject than our delightful party."

  I disengaged from Illiana, which was difficult, and started driving again. But then she shifted to the middle seat, strapped herself back in, and cuddled up to me. If she got any redder she'd be busting through walls and dispensing sugary drinks.

  Sylfaena nodded, "Yes. Speaking of which, now that it is too late to turn back I've an announcement to make as well. You aren't dropping me off in Kurvania - I am tendering a resignation in person, and informing Little Morry - er - his majesty King Morgan that father will be sending a replacement wizard from the Silver Tower."

  Illiana gasped, "Wha - Sylfie but you worked so hard to get a job within a royal court!"

  Sylfaena laughed, "I'm already a princess, sis; if I need to go to a royal court I’ll just go home. I'd much rather join you three as a full member of Red Lightning."

  She pulled on a leather cord hidden under her cravat and lo and behold there was an adventurer's guild chip - huh, she'd joined up and made iron already? So that's what she'd been up to behind the scenes.

  I nodded, "Welcome to the team! Guess we'll need to go back to Caer Caradon to make it official."

  Miss Juliette should be havin' her baby soon, I'm sure Illiana will wanna be there to help as well.

  Mal also smiled and said, "What of you two, what will you do now that the mastermind is fallen?"

  "Well, I can't very well stop adventuring if Sylfaena's quittin' her day job for it," I said. "So I reckon I'll keep on doing what I've been doing."

  Illiana nodded, half asleep buried in my chest. That's right. With the girl I love, with my friends, with my guns, and my American grit there was only one thing I wanted to do. Yeah, I knew exactly what the answer was:

  "Cruisin' another world in my Cadillac."

  End of Volume I: The Mastermind Saga

  Red Lightning Will Strike Again

  In the Meantime, Enjoy the Music