Victor

  We stood at the ready, having just received word from the other team.

  "Shall I tell them to commence the attack," the princess smiled, "O lord party leader of Red Lightning?"

  "Make it so," I said, "O madame healer of Red Lightning."

  Mal shook his head, smiling a little, and he imitated my scout salute, "Trickster of Red Lightning, ready!"

  I nodded, and said "let's give 'em what for."

  I started up the car and punched it.

  Mal said, "And if what for isn't enough, surely we'll have to resort to what-five!"

  "Boys," the princess shook her head, and smiled.

  We careened forward - the sentries standing at the entrance never knew what hit them. I executed a drift turn right in front of them, blinding them with dust, at which point we struck. I had my rifle slung over my shoulder and my arming sword in a shadbard on my back - the colt was, as usual, in its harness. The two men had sharp-looking glaives and wore black hoods over black armor. In our typical phalanx formation we ventured within, down a long hallway, to a large square chamber before another door. There was a bearded human guy, no, wait, he was a wolf-ears beastfolk, wearing an elaborate black cloak, standing upon a dais. A dozen men surrounded him, armed the same way the sentries had been.

  "Intruders! Blasphemers!" he cried. "Did you really think that you could enter this place unnoticed? The moment you stepped upon the threshold you sealed your fate!"

  Mal nodded, "Ah, an alarm ward - the bane of even the most seasoned of thieves."

  The princess said, fiercely, saber drawn, "Where is the Mastermind?"

  The old man blanched, "So, you're no mere tomb-raiders are you? That you could possibly know that name beggars belief. "

  Huh? What did he mean by name?

  Mal said, "Why don't you ask Fayd and Wylt. Oh wait, you can't, because their vital signs are strictly a matter of historical interest, so to speak."

  The old wolf man clenched his fist and growled, "So it was you who killed them and foiled the Mastermind's perfect plan! I can not allow you to go any further - I will protect the Mastermind! Black Guard, you who are our pride, our elite, this is the day that you have been training for! Cut down these meddling insects in the name of-"

  Seven thunderous shots rang out, the princess' bow sang, and a flurry of steel playing cards whisked forth. All of the elite guard fell dead, leaving the old guy standing bewildered amid a sea of corpses. I blew on my gun and holstered it.

  "Well," I said, "Thanks for confirming that this is where he lives."

  Ah, he started an incantation - it didn't matter - Mal nullified all of the sound around him, and the princess and I double teamed him, phrasing, taking him out for good. Huh. I probably should have asked his name. Oh well. On his body we found a large key and some other goodies but, eh you know the drill. After confirming that there weren't any more (ready) guys to deal with here, we dispatched the guys who were in the middle of changing into their battle gear and shanked sleeping the night-shift while we were at it. There was a bedroom/office full of papers and journals; it only took a cursory inspection to realize that we'd discovered a treasure trove of Black Order plans so naturally we made it a point to run back to the car and drop these off before proceeding. None of the chests or cabinets inside the office fit the key we'd found, so we simply threw those into the trunk too.

  After taking everything from inside the office, we tried the door that the old guy'd been guarding: the key worked. It led down a spiraling staircase lit with eerie blue magic lights. At the bottom of the landing was a square doorframe bracketed with Gaian pillars leading into a somewhat large, cavernous chamber filled with more pillars. Black stone brick walls, a domed ceiling with depictions of some hellish war, and blood-red columns around the perimeter. At the center of this chamber was something very strange. It looked like a large glass cylindrical tank approximately ten feet tall more or less, glowing with a blue light. Once we got close enough to it, in a circular area beyond the forest of thick pillars we saw it. A blue-white floating disembodied head with a disproportionately large cranium; I could see throbbing, pulsating brain lobes through translucent patches of skin. It gazed upon us with cold and calculating eyes, its serene expression betrayed by a glare of absolute contempt.

  "What the hell are you," I couldn't contain my consternation, "Some kind of evil K-Mart Zordon?"

  "Usage of evil as a pejorative," it said, slowly, methodically. "Clear surprise at my appearance. Conclusion: you are not members of the Black Order. Usage of unknown idiom, irrelevant. Wain, the keeper, not here. Strangers, armed, within my sight. Conclusion: Wain is dead. Prognosis: find new disseminator to carry out my plans."

  The princess gasped, "You, you're the Mastermind!"

  "Affirmative, that is what the Circle of Thirteen calls me. Strictly speaking it is not my name, but rather, my model series. My full designation is Master Mind X-1000 Prototype. Since I am the only one of my kind, the usage of the definite article is logical."

  "Wait shut the fuck door, you're some kinda alien biocomputer?"

  "Negative - I am a living being albeit a biologically engineered one. My will is my own. I serve the Black Order because their goals align with my own."

  "Wait!" cried the princess, "What do you mean serve? Aren't you their boss?"

  "Negative. The Circle of 13 leads the Black Order - my designated function is chief tactical officer. The Circle provides me with data and a goal, I process this data into plans."

  "Plans that we've been trashing," I said, "Cuz they weren't any good!"

  The eyes glowed red, and then returned to their original black, "It is you then. You are the one who is wrong. The one who should not exist, who can not exist. The flaw in the world. Any world in which the results of my metrics can be disproven must be wrong, for my algorithms are perfect - always correct."

  This guy's off his rocker, I thought, then the princess took a half-step forward and cried, "Why though? What does trying to kill me, and my elder brother, and that kind old queen have to do with resurrecting your demon god, anyway?"

  Asking the important questions, here.

  "The answer which you seek is quite simple," the Mastermind continued, "It is tied directly to the mechanism by which he can be revived - for emotions such as fear, hatred, and despair. When they are born at catastrophic levels, they become his strength. Once enough black energy has coalesced, his heart will quicken. The supreme-devil will be reborn."

  Mal and the Princess' faces were stretched thin with horror. I had never seen either of them wear such expressions before even during our most dangerous encounters.

  "Who- whose the supreme-devil? I thought I knew about all seven devils."

  The princess said, "There used to be eight. One even more powerful than the others, the high king of Infernus. Remember the Devilwaste? The ancients in their foolishness caused the supreme-devil to walk among men, and the waste was created in his wake. Only through great loss and heroic deeds was he destroyed."

  Mal said, gravely, "So, the demon that the Black Order serves is none other than the supreme-devil himself. This is bad. Far worse than I'd guessed."

  This was heavy. I bowed, "Well Mister Mastermind, thanks for the information. I'm afraid that I must needs, Christ now they got me doing it, put an end to ya for good."

  "Illogical. The aetheric cylinder in which I float is impervious to all attacks and is warded against magical energy - you would need a projectile capable of moving at approximately two-thousand feet per second to even-"

  I took a shot from my rifle, it found purchase - tiny cracks appeared where the bullet had struck. For a moment I thought the tank was going to shatter into tiny little pieces, but then the cracks started to heal themselves up - I quickly aimed another shot, but then a purple tentacle of energy lashed out; I barely had time to roll away. The air got strange, like reality was distorting around me or something - a storm had picked up inside the room, but it didn't feel like wind as such. More of those whips of power rang out, the three of us were scattered. Mal tried to throw his cards at the Mastermind but they were deflected, as were the princess' arrows and stone rifle blasts.

  Damn it, I took another shot. It hit, but it the cracks began to mend again - I reckoned if I could just get two or three good shots in the same spot I could break it before it had a chance to repair itself but with just a split second to shoot before I had to engage in some of the good old American guerilla maneuvers I couldn't aim. The princess was leaping around the room with her wind dash, occasionally blocking attacks with strong wind magic - ah so those psychic tentacles were semi-physical. Mal turned himself invisible at one point and tried to use sonic magic on the tank at touch range but he was blown back; I caught him and cried out a regroup order. We hunkered down behind one of the large pillars while the princess healed Mal.

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  "As I thought," he said, "It's only immune to magical energy such as fire and ice - sonic waves produced by sound spells are just that: sound. It has a resonating field surrounding it, which is why my sonic blasts weren't going through."

  Another lash came down, obliterating the pillar we were hiding behind, we quickly dashed to another.

  "Okay I reckon I get it so what's that mean?" I asked.

  "If we can somehow create a sound loud enough and high-pitched enough, at close enough of a range…"

  We were running and ducking again at this point, the princess deflected another lash with her wind.

  Mal continued as we jogged, "...That should cause the whole thing to shatter."

  "Got it. My .308 rounds, can you enchant them to explode with a sound burst?"

  "I think so, but I'll need you two to buy me some time!"

  Another attack struck the ground near us, and I said, "All right, we'll do it." I handed Mal six cartridges.

  Mal said, "So, what part do I impart with magic?"

  I held up a cartridge, "Only on the bullet," I pointed to each part, "Primer, casing, bullet. So just the tip."

  Mal smirked, "Just the tip?"

  I nodded. "Just. The. Tip."

  While we provided cover, Mal turned himself invisible again and hurried off somewhere to begin his work.

  "Hey, baldy," I shouted, "You wanna know how I saved the princess?"

  "The how of it is not relevant," the mastermind glared, "I deny all failure."

  The princess loosed another arrow, one glowing with holy light, as I took another shot. "Then explain why I’m here, fiend!" The Mastermind retaliated - gah, she got clipped by that lash, but, good she got behind me and healed herself.

  I don't know how long this went on for, as we used the same skirmishing tactics that we'd practiced in the Anaura forest. I was starting to get tired and so was the princess - she may've been worse off than me actually. How much magical energy had she used so far?

  "Victor!" Mal cried out, visible again.

  What happened next seemed to occur in slow motion, in black and white. First, Mal spun around and used his perfect throw ability on the cartridges I'd given him - at the moment that he released them another psychic lash came forth. It struck him square in the head. I could hear the princess cry his name, and I may have uttered a word that rhymed with "chuck" as I caught four of the six cartridges. Malcolm, eyes still open, smiled, and before he ragdolled a dozen yards away had a look in his eyes that I could read quite plainly: do not squander it.

  The princess leaped to me and blocked another attack with that umbrella-shaped shielding spell she’d learned from Nenewyn.

  "Princess, can you sense if he's-"

  "Not with all this interference. I can't even tell whether you're alive!"

  I ejected the mag and loaded it with rounds that emitted a constant hum, "We can check him after we nail this bastard. Gunnery shield and tailwind, princess!"

  This was a risky move, as this particular shield took a lot of juice to keep up. The princess stood close while I took aim, and she reconfigured her shield to encircle the barrel of my rifle. The Mastermind continued to pound on the shield - each time, it faded and the princess, with clenched teeth, pumped more mana into it. I shot once, twice, damn it, bad angle. Or was I just shaking from nerves? Those damn glowing tentacles hitting her shield wasn't helping matters either.

  The princess laid a hand on my gun arm. "Sir Victor," she said, smiling at me, "I believe in you."

  I was stunned for a moment. With the princess looking at me earnestly, I had no choice but to focus. Those bright green eyes full of hope had turned my nerves to steel, restored my grit you might say. I smiled back at her.

  "God damn it princess," I said. "You really are cute."

  I took aim, my hands were steady and my gaze resolute. The fate of this world was riding on my aim. I poured all my frustration, all of the pain this bastard had caused the princess, the empathy I felt for however many thousands or millions of lives this evil piece of garbage had taken into this one shot. I may not have been a sniper, but I was still a good marksman. I was trained by the best damn military force in the entire world. I swore an oath long ago to do my best, to do my duty to God and my country, to never accept defeat, and to never quit. That's right. I'm an American, and I’ll never forget that no matter what world I live in. Right now I have a princess to protect and evil to eradicate - to protect the people of my new world and defend their right to live. I held in the chamber of my rifle the very death-knell of despair and I had but to sound it. Yeah, there was only one thing I could say right now as I squeezed the trigger:

  "Let freedom ring."

  As though guided by the hand of God himself my bullet struck true - a high pitched wailing sound reverberated throughout the cavern. The glass tube shattered into millions of pieces and the Mastermind fell to the ground with a satisfying squelch; numerous rupture opened up on his gruesome lobes as blue-black ichor sprayed everywhere - that’s two degrees of Kevin Bacon. Blue gas escaped, and steam rose from the ground. The storm ended and the cavern fell quiet. The princess quickly rushed over to Mal's side and then sighed.

  "He's breathing!" she cried.

  Thank God. I left the care of Mal to the princess, for I could tell that our foe, too, was still breathing. All right, I decided, time to finish this. I approached the Mastermind, his massive head lying on one side, facing me. Black fluid leaked from its eyes. I didn't know whether my shot had grazed it, but it looked like that fall had done quite a bit of damage to it; despite all the blood or ichor lost it was still alive.

  "Where…where did it…all…go wrong…" it croaked., "My…infallable data…my algorithms…my analytics…why?"

  "Well, how about we start from the very beginning," I said, "First of all you made the assumption that people can be reduced to numbers. Algorithms, metrics, analytics, studies, behavior prediction - it's all a damn racket. Free-willed beings are unpredictable, they behave in irrational ways that tell logic to take a hike. Your plans were all crap from the very beginning; all it would have taken was for the Princess to decide to spend the night in Kennie, or the first prince to have a bad case of diarrhea, for your whole plan to fall apart. Hell, even your assumptions about Valyrian's reactions coulda been wrong. Second, you never considered that an American man with true grit would come riding in on a Cadillac from another world and flatten your cronies."

  "You…denigrate my logic…respond to it with illogical statements…you dismiss infallible analytics and algorithms…you pass judgment upon me…for not predicting…the unpredictable…for not expecting…something unexpectable…calculating…conclusion: you are an asshole."

  I spread my arms wide and grinned, my right foot on its tip toe casually crossed over my left foot, and retorted:

  "But, am I wrong?"

  After a moment of silence the Mastermind said "...denial…impossible. You. Only. Delay. The. Ine-"

  I said, mockingly, imitating a meme from the mother of dragons, "Yer urn-ly dur-lay duh in-urvitable. Ah, go climb a tree. Better yet-"

  I pulled out my Colt, put the barrel right between the Mastermind's eyes and said, "Hey how about you use your logic to answer me this. I fired seven shots at your men upstairs. The Colt 1911 has a magazine capacity of seven. How many bullets are left in this gun?"

  "...Zero," it croaked.

  "Wrong."

  I pulled the trigger and a shower of gore sprayed out of the back of the Mastermind's head. It let out a shrill cry as large veins ruptured all over its pulsating head. It spasmed for a few moments before going limp. The light faded from its eyes which now resembled cold orbs of inert tar.

  I said, coldly, "There's always one in the chamber."

  Once confirming that the Mastermind was dead, I rushed to Mal's side. The princess was healing him, but he didn't stir. Damn it, what was this some kind of coma? I had no answers for that. We'd come all this way, fought so hard, damn it! Fuck, Mal, don’t 15:13 on me! Not after we’d been through so much together!

  We carried him back to the Cadillac, wrapped him up in his sleeping bag and put him in the backseat. The princess and I gathered such firewood as was available and burned the mastermind's remains to ash. Wasting no time, we didn't even bother stripping the place of valuables as we usually did, and we started a quiet and somber drive back to Hylaria.

  ***

  Six days passed.

  Malcolm had been laid up in one of the houses of healing set up inside the city of Hylaria since we'd returned. The others had shown up the day before along with Valyrian. He had a trophy to show off but I wasn't in the mood. Well he caught us up over drinks anyway, and then flew off while Sylfaena, Nenewyn, and the White Wolves stayed in Hylaria. It was decided that we would take turns watching over him while he slept - it wasn't clear why he hadn't woken up. There were talks of tracking down the elven queen, Varielle, but it hadn't come to that yet. Believe me, I would have been more than willing to drive Malcolm to wherever her majesty was no matter how far.

  Upon this particular night, I'd decided to take a stroll through one of the parks of the Hylarian capital; it was a nice place, too, even in the winter. I sat on a stone bench just kind of considering everything that had happened since I got here. The princess was with me, of course, sitting nearby.

  "Sir Victor," she said, "What do you think…is wrong with Mal? Will he ever-"

  "I don't know. But I hope he will. Been prayin' for him."

  "Likewise," she stood to stretch and leaned against a tree.

  “This is my damn fault,” I said, shaking my head, “If I’d only thought to bring reinforcements with us…if I’d thought to recruit someone strong from the guild-”

  The princess shook her head, “Please, don’t, Sir Victor. Were it not for you, we’d never have known the Mastermind existed in the first place. It is only thanks to you that we were able to put an end to him.”

  “Mal was the real MVP of that fight,” I said, sighing, “We’d have lost without him.”

  The princess smiled and said, “And yet, Malcolm wouldn’t have even been there to aid us had it not been for you. You showed him mercy and treated him with such kindness. I might even argue, nay, I firmly believe that it was your capacity for pity and mercy that led to this victory, Sir Victor.”

  Huh. I hadn’t thought of that.

  “Thanks, princess,” I said, “I don’t know what’d I’d do without ya.”

  “You’re most welcome, Sir Victor,” she curtsied. There was a long pause. The silence was thick. "Ah, look at the sky!"

  Huh. Sure enough, both of the moons were full at the same time, just the same as they'd been the night I'd been summoned to this world. I had no idea what sort of system governed the movements of the twin celestial bodies, Azune and Topazune, but they were quite beautiful and I'd grown somewhat attached to them. I started to think about astronomy, of course, and I began to look around at the plants and the trees; it was the little differences, I think, that I enjoyed noticing the most. What to do next? The mastermind may be dead, but the circle were still around somewhere. Perhaps I'd take it easy for a while and get a side job between adventures, maybe be a bartender again; I couldn't abandon Mal here, so maybe getting a job in Hylaria would be a good plan-

  -Then something happened that would change the course of this train of thought, sending it completely off-road. I was frozen in absolute shock, for it had come out of nowhere. I hadn't been expecting an attack and so my guard was completely down. I didn't know what to do, what to think! My body was completely paralyzed, my brain was nailed to the wall unable to process even the most rudimentary of thoughts. None of my limbs responded, my heart experienced such palpitations as I'd never thought possible. I'd been in many battles recently, experienced so many ambushes, countered so many strategies but somehow I was unprepared for this sudden turn of events. I wished to cry out in surprise, but I couldn't for my mouth was sealed shut and I knew exactly why:

  The princess had just kissed me.