Bewildered, Ed barely had time to register what was happening. He was on the floor, looking up at the apathetic blue knight. He was explaining something to the others; Ed realized through mostly closed eyes. He tried to move his arms, but the blue knight's knees were dug painfully in. Psionic shields came up via instinct, but hadn't been fast enough to stop the sudden onslaught.

  His nose was broken, and he was bleeding in several places, but this wasn't new to the prince. He was a knight and had been bloodied almost daily since he was 10 years-old by instructors and classmates. Well, one classmate – Theodore Locke Acogson, the blue knight who thought too quickly and in too many streams for any to follow. When they were children, the young Mechmian would laugh during matches, win or lose, bloodied or not.

  The thought of the little boy suspected of having early onset Mechmian Merriness brought a smile to Ed's broken face and tears of joy to his violet eyes.

  “Stop blubbering. Ye know I detest blubbering,” the man stated indifferently as he ceased punching. The white knight appeared behind him and, with a single hand, picked the smaller man up by the back of the jacket, depositing him gently on his feet. Stone shook his head at his friend disapprovingly.

  “Ye heard what he said. I refuse to hear such things and not punch him in the punchable face. It's not as if I drew me arms against the turnip,” the blue knight stated. brushing himself off.

  The white knight groaned, crossing his arms disapprovingly, “Salutations 2.”

  Without missing a beat, Teddy replied, “If I announced meself his pumpkin powers would have prevented his deserved retribution. Ferdinand 5:12.”

  “Icons 12:37.”

  “That was me calm. I would have killed him had I gone all Marshal 103,” countered the blue knight, straightening out. Ed couldn't follow the conversation, but there was something captivating about the pair's frequent and calm arguments.

  “Salutations 100:1. Salutations 100:23.”

  “I will not apologize to that potato. He should apologize to ye. I shall not entertain this topic any further. Now, I am famished. Let me eat quickly, and we can be off.”

  The white knight looked thoughtful for a moment while Teddy took his seat behind a plate of foodstuff. A thought had occurred to him. A thought that he wielded like an accusing blade to the blue-clad knight, “Grosver 355!”

  “I'll have ye know me methods are much more advanced than that silly little Hassassani spy. Really, it's insulting. Now who needs a bit of Salutations 100:1? After all. I rely on ye to uphold Devotions 12:60.”

  With a furrowed brow, the bigger man bowed in apology, red rising to his cheeks.

  “Oh, stuff that nonsense. We're friends. We rely on each other. Ed, what are ye doing to me head?” the blue knight inquired, lowering his chopsticks.

  “Bunny knows that one! That motion is called a hug! Ed hugs Teddy!” the Bunny girl proudly declared with a little hop and a hand clap.

  “Dearest, I know what it is called. I apologize for asking the wrong question in an attempt to talk down to his level. The confusion it caused is a testament to why Mechmians engage other Mechmians with clear language. Allow me a second attempt. Ed, my friend, why are ye embracing me head and blubbering? Ye know me feelings on blubbering. Ye eyes will get puffy and red, and ye shall dehydrate.”

  “I missed your mean face!” cried the prince into the other man's fluffy dark blond hair. He smelled of grease and artificial magic. The visor that covered his face from ear to ear and hairline to nose wasn't as uncomfortable as Ed had always imagined. It may have looked like solid matte metal, but it felt like a soft cloth, and it gave some as he pressed the side of his head into it. It was a thin material, just thicker than a slate or a sheet of thick card stock, and it was a mystery to Ed how the thing kept the perfectly smooth, rounded shape that hid a blue knight's features.

  “I've been here, me friend,” Teddy stated as he began eating as if he didn't have another man clinging to the side of his head. He paused for just a moment, “And me face is neutral. Please refrain from implying otherwise. I have enough trouble with accusations of the Merriness.”

  “Maybe physically, but I thought I'd accidentally wiped out your will. You let me drink and sleep in and...” Ed stammered drunkenly. Teddy would fix everything. It would be great. Wait, Teddy would fix everything. This was going to be terrible.

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  “Honestly, I thought the lark would be more humorous and continue over a longer time period. I admit, it was quite funny at first. Plus, I had a great deal of time to work on some of me side projects. However, I cannot sit idly by while ye indulge in hurtful rhetoric. I'm afraid I must insist on taking control of the team while ye have this emotional breakdown. I do hope ye understand. I know ye are dense and won't, but it is important to be somewhat optimistic,” the man explained between quick bites of lunch.

  Suddenly suspicious of something that Ed's still inebriated mind couldn't quite catch, the prince released his catch and backed up, sputtering. His brain may not have kept up, but his mouth formed words, “The lark? Did you purposely do all that just so you could get more time with your toys?”

  “I'm ever so happy ye have mentioned me work. Behold me creation,” Sir Acogson announced, using an open palm to direct attention to Bunny, “Ye have yet to compliment me latest work. With limited materials I have managed to scavenge, I have followed ye orders.” He continued to explain, but Ed already knew he was not interested in the inner workings of the girl's outfit.

  Broadly grinning, the girl jumped up from her seat at the table and began posing. Her pearl-white top had a sweetheart neckline and two thick straps covering her shoulders. Around her neck, she wore a pearl-white collar and a powder-pink bow tie. The girl's skin was somehow a more pure white than even this shirt. She wore trousers, which looked out of place on one of the normally mostly naked Callians. The boxy pink jacket she wore was decidedly not form-fitting. Both it and the pants were heavily tailored, with seams where extra fabric had been added or removed. The jacket's bottom sat just above her white and pink belt from which her quiver hung. The sleeves had been rolled to the forearm, revealing a pair of well-fitted white combat bracers with little pink gems placed like cuff links. She also wore mostly white gloves, with the middle two fingers pink. Upon closer inspection, the gloves thoughtfully had slits between each knuckle for the retractable claws that only appeared when she made a fist.

  The whole outfit worked, but even Ed's boozy thoughts knew something was wrong. It was the outfit of an outlander who didn't understand any of the cultures of the Thirteen. The cut of the top was aggressively Heimheimese. The jacket looked to be of a short-lived Mechmian men's style from a hundred years ago. The trousers were made of Mechmian material, but in a distinctly Decion style. The white booties with a cuff that folded over to hide the heel were of a style popular in Greenmeadow, but pink spats peeked out as she posed.

  “I don't need all the details, Teddy. Why is she dressed like that? People are going to talk!”

  “Bunny...I have thought of a great explanation. I will say that I, Bunny, was born in Callie, but raised in Mechma,” the girl declared, emphasizing the word “I” as if it was foreign to her and she was testing it. Every word she said sounded not like a lie, but a poor actor trying out for a role they didn't quite understand, but desperately wanted.

  “High Mountain,” Teddy corrected absent-mindedly as he looked at a slate he'd expanded. Multiple rows of tightly-packed text whirled by faster than Ed could ever hope to comprehend.

  With a broad grin, the girl nodded and tried again, “Bunny grew up in Heimheim, but loved Mech. So, she became a pink knight after studying at the Book.”

  Once again, Teddy interrupted, “At Brooke, at the foot of Mount Verna on Ladone. You grew up in the High-Mountain holdings on Ladone. I can't alter records from here, but I've got enough material to properly brief you about your classmates and the area. I'm still preparing it.”

  She spoke through her gritted grin, “Bunny, I, am far too talented to go to some off-planet school for Bunny's, my, studies. Bugaboo doesn't even use pro-now-ens correctly! Me this, and me that. Me. Me. Me. What does Bugaboo know?”

  “I'm Mechmian. I was literally born knowing more than you will in your entire lifetime, extended though it may be. Everyone knows that the Mechmian languages use the personal possessive determiner only when speaking directly to the object of the sentence. For example, my dear, a determiner is not a pronoun, though it is sometimes, incorrectly, called one. Mechmians, as a general rule, refuse to compromise in this during translation to High-Mountainese, otherwise known as Universe Standard. We are also known for using Mechmian words when none exist in Standard, though we do try our best to communicate with the less intelligent races in a manner they may understand.”

  “All of that is smart! Bugaboo is smart!” the girl spat as if smart was the worst insult she could possibly lob. While the smile never left her face, it did change. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to compose herself.

  Her next words were apologetic and a bit sad, “Bunny, I, mean stupid. It is good to be smart. Bunny, I, have learned this to be true. Everything I thought before the incident was nothing. I will do better. Bunny went to Brooke to be near family. It is a proud institution. There I learned to read and use mech. She..I? I developed a personal style that combines her favorite looks as a pink knight is wont to do.”

  “We're working on that annoying third-person thing Callians do,” stated Teddy, refilling his teacup, “Though the backstory is in place, it should not be revealed unless necessary. Especially since I cannot properly backstop it from inside Callie.”

  Feeling a bit more sober, Ed sighed. What Teddy was suggesting was illegal, and as a knight, he was supposed to uphold the law. Ed had tried to stop Teddy's illegal acts many times in the past, but the blue knight was a better criminal than he was a knight. Not that either of them had the moral high ground anymore.

  “I'll remind you when we get back,” Ed replied, finally defeated and coaxed into a life of crime after resisting since they were young. He glanced over at the white knight's seat and realized the big man had already left. Sighing heavily, Ed rose from his seat and walked toward the crystalline portacus. “Hurry up and eat. We have a lot to do today.”