“Are you kidding me right now?!” Marisol runs around my condo like a recently adopted child. I should know, I did the same thing to Marcella’s place.

  “Yes, welcome to my condo at the Garden. I share it with my fiancée when we’re on Astoria. My other home is on Earth, where I used to be a Sheriff’s Deputy.”

  Cathal turns and tilts his head, “Why’d you get fired?”

  “Position got bought from under me. Corruption is a hell of a thing. Surprised the hell out of me because I am fucking rich like most people read about.”

  “I’ve read about the Empress making a trillion credits during the war.” Adam says. Fucking really dude? That is an obscene amount of wealth.

  “Gods, no. I made twenty mil last month. Nowhere near Empress money, but a solid credit or two.”

  Marisol stares at me like I’m a gold laying goose. Runs up to me and grabs me too. I am super uncomfortable. “Do you want a consort? A concubine? Wait, I have a job now. But maybe a bed slave that counts the money?”

  “Oh hell no!” I push the Spanish woman away. “There will be none of that, miss. Make your own money, find your own Harem. I am not in the market for one.”

  “But I just want to swim in it!”

  “NOT HAPPENING McDUCK!” I yell, running away and locking the door to my room. Might as well shower and change while I’m here.

  I send a note to the hostess station at Guiseppe’s place while putting on my under clothes and another note to Penny that I have her three candidates chosen and I’m taking them out to lunch. Capris, sandals, and a sleeveless blouse later, I come out into the common space to see the folks I brought have changed as well. “Good to see you all remember why we are here. Marisol, I hope you’ve calmed down a little.”

  “I didn’t know how nice to dress, but now I feel over dressed!” I nod at that, a cocktail dress is a bit much. The guys couldn’t be more differently dressed, with Adam in chinos and a polo and Cathal in slacks and a button-down with rolled up sleeves, but both are appropriate for where we’re going—mostly just don’t look sloppy.

  “Yeah, maybe tone it down to a sun dress or something more ‘out with co-workers’. Though I am impressed that you have a nice dress available at all times.” She walks quickly to the bathroom and shuts the door, mumbling to herself the whole way.

  Once Marisol finishes changing into a cream blouse and a navy pleated skirt, we head down to where Aria is parked and spend the few minute trip in silence. She drops us off behind the Civics building, which is a ten minute walk around the west side of the lake to get to our lunch destination.

  “Hey Aria? Could you snap some area photos of the farm today? And then if you have another project you’re working on feel free. I can take the bike home.”

  “Yes, Kimber. I wanted to interface with the new equipment that you purchased for those folks at summer farms to use. See if I can get some remote operation kits for them.”

  “That would be brilliant Aria! You’re the best.” She trills happily at me before lifting the ramp and taking off.

  “So you’re a pretty friendly person huh?” Marisol asks as we walk.

  I snort and laugh at that. “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard myself described like that, but I can be when I’m not doing business. Even then I feel as though I am fair, just stubborn and intolerant of what I consider abuse, bluster, and idiocy.”

  “I would have described your interviewing me as ‘steely’ and ‘piercing’.” Adam offers and Cathal nods.

  “I will admit, with your choices of Miss Abarca and Mister Haupt, I held little hope of being chosen. Especially after my ‘serval’ outburst.”

  “I appreciate a clean, matter-o-fact approach like yours, and I liked your attempt at adapting to the vibe in the room and participating. It showed both that you take the job seriously and you’ll make an effort to work with people that you don’t necessarily see eye to eye with. That and you three were just lucky that you have experience I want for tribunal purposes.

  “So, I get finance and law experience, but why me and Cathal?” Adam asks.

  “Oh, that’s easy. You have a naval background that will play well with the military types and you have a face and demeanor that should make people think you can empathize with them. Cathal will obviously be our experienced hand with stodgy government bureaucratic garbage.”

  Our conversation devolves into an exchange of experiences and it turns out that I’m the only one on the end of enforcement in practice. Marisol and Adam have ride-along experience but it’s more observational and academic than anything else.

  Guiseppe’s kids and grandchildren treat us well, and I convince some of them to chat and spend time with us, as I guess they are my friends at this point. The old man even encourages them to chat with me as the Empress does not engage much with the staff besides Guiseppe himself.

  “Betty’s a little bitter that your family doesn’t stop by her place anymore.” The grand-daughter of ‘Betty’ says.

  “I get that, but I remember telling Betty that if she can’t keep us from being swarmed, then we won’t come by with Penny.”

  “Kimber, you can’t be serious.” Bettina sighs, “Mama wants you around,” she leans close and puts her hand on my stomach, “She’s not the only one.”

  I try not to run and jump off the roof in fear. My wife is super jealous right now. I’m too young to die. I push Bettina back, “I’m flattered, but Zia, my wife, would be very upset if I took a concubine without her consent.”

  The girl frowns, but takes her hand off of my belly.

  You are perilously close to your wedding, your . . . ‘Rizz’ will be problematic.

  Tova, what do you mean ‘will’ be?.

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  While you are out in public, you will emit ‘vibes’ you apparently have ‘bi’ vibes and many civilians want to ‘vibe’ with you.

  “Carmichael, how do you feel?” I ask.

  “I have no interest in my protegees.” I snort and dribble my drink. I grab a towel and wipe my face while laughing.

  “I meant about the Justicar problem.”

  “Oh.” He pauses to stroke his chin. “Then I have no real issues with being provisionally, specifically designed to appease the government types.”

  “But how are you with business concerns? Head for math and what not?” Marisol asks.

  “Will I not have an assistant? I would chose one that could advise me of course.” Carmichael adds.

  I nod at that. “You will have an assistant. I may not be able to provide a fancy flagship, but the Empress won’t leave us hanging with less than a warp capable transport.”

  A telltale pop causes me to sigh. I had to invoke the damn pixie.

  “My protégé is correct!” She says hugging me and kissing my head. Fucking embarrassing. “I will be supplying a small ship and a small crew. You will be expected to manage funds and personnel. Etcetera.”

  Penny flits to the tapas, sampling a few things before glittering over to Guiseppe.

  “Before you ask, or go into complete shock: That is the Empress. She’s a mess, but very powerful.” Marisol surges forward and pulls within inches of my face and grabbing the front of my blouse in her fists.

  “How are you so casual with her?!” She scream whispers.

  “I’m marrying her daughter in a month and a half, and that pixie basically adopted me two years ago when I showed promise as an alchemist.”

  “Wait, do we need to be more useful than Justicar candidates?” Adam asks.

  “No, nononono. Hold up. I was answering a question, not setting a standard.” I answer, unstable in the expectation and focus my new protegees are pointing at me. “She,” I nod over to the pixie, “Will set your standard. No one else.” A trail of pixie interrupts their retorts as she settles into her rugged throne.

  “So, Kimber, you think that these three will be your equals as Justicars?” Penny smirks knowing my answer already.

  “Penny, you know they won’t. I have Justicar magic. I chose these three to prop up the deficiencies of the regions we have left to fill. And I picked the people that would most benefit any tribunal I had to convene.” She chuckles at that.

  “I see. Good choices in any case. Even the rogue-lite seems to have a dedicated sense of Morality.” She smirks and takes a bite from the plate she didn’t have earlier.

  “I feel you give me no direction just to see how well I meet your unreasonable standards.”

  “And yet you seem to meet them, whiny settlement owner.” She smiles her shark smile and I quiet. That smile has a purpose and it does not invite back talk. “I would normally say something about provisional this and temporary that, but someone I trust and that I have placed a large amount of responsibility on -- unbeknownst to her—has vouched for you. Thus, you will get legal and combat training. And in a month, you will attend a three-month program that will ostensibly ready you for activating after Founders’ Week.”

  “Kimber will be your point of contact for your expectations and will be my Prime Justicar. The first of equals. The standard, but not the exception. While I enjoy inconveniencing my daughter-in-law, she has the class and the experience that will essentially provide the system support for your actions. When your judgements come into question, I can decide to back you, but so far, only Kimber can validate. That said, my rule is absolute, so if I say or back you, you own that shit until you die because I will.”

  “YOU’RE THE EMPRESS!!”

  “Marisol, calm the fuck down.” I chide the woman. “At least don’t shout. She’s our employer, and she can teleport. There is nothing quite like fucking up and being slapped by a trans-dimensional pixie.”

  “Hey! I only punish assholes or those that assign evil shit to me. Don’t you dare try to slander me to these kids!” She scoffs and litters hazardous dust around her throne.

  “Empress, Pixie on high, most recalcitrant of Enchanters, please excuse my misstep.” I smile through each word as I shine my illuminating gaze at her. Bitch loves it, is super embarrassed at my casual worship, and is legit angry that as family I place her higher than Zia.

  /Look, Penny, I will never exalt you above my wife. Empress upon high, or whatever, my wife rules my universe, so you can pack sand./

  \I was just about to tattle on you. Glad you clarified.\

  Pixie brat. I can’t help but smile at her antics though. How did the Empress of Humanity become one of my best friends? Penny smiles her shark smile, freaking out her new employees with her genuine mirth.

  “I’m your employer for now, nothing more. Your task mistress will be a frontier sheriff, and Kimber will at some point be integral into your ‘law interpretation’ course, but until then, you should get knowledgeable about the systems she hired you for. Because I am petty, she is your boss until the next Founders’ Day.”

  “Damnit.” I groan, knowing that she is absolutely punishing me. Complaining about it, though, would be like asking Pixies not to pix, so my bad for hoping. I did call her a brat though. Heh.

  “Oh! Important caveat to this job. There won’t be upward mobility in a classic sense. If you want to be an Imperial Justice, you’ll have to train for it, etcetera. However, lateral movement and wholesale transfers will be available. I will personally put a star on your next application if you do well in this position.” Marisol and Adam practically gleam. Carmicheal just raises an eyebrow and looks at me.

  “The Empress is likely the largest single employer in the Empire, and I’m one of the fastest growing. If we can’t find you a job when you’re done with this one, you either fucked up or we’re dead.”

  “I see. But as the Senior Justicar just assigned me to the Prospects, my opportunity to ‘fuck up’ is rather increased is it not?” Both my mother-in-law and I laugh at that.

  “Mr. Carmichael, the time for negotiating contracts is after your training period. For now, your job is to learn. You are eligible for a small stipend and free room and board in one of the three-bedroom apartments at the Garden.” Penny offers, to my surprise. Those are pricey-ass apartments.

  “They also wanted to know about living in the systems they administer.”

  “Ah, well, I will require it for the first five years. Save the Prospects, you can stay on Dash or Twilight. After you get a feel for living with their issues, I’ll entertain a move.” They all looked at me in accusation.

  “Look, folks. Empress.” I point at Penny, “Stooge.” I point at myself. “I said it was likely a jump away would be fine. I was wrong. I am sorry.” I apologize.

  “If it’s any consolation, I will be paying about five credits a day for the job. And your choice of government office on the planetoid you chose to stay on.” Everyone coughs a little at the offer. I nod at the generous. “I will also match plus ten percent any bribe that you are offered—if you can document it. If you can’t, you will swear before Kimber each quarter and I will honor her word.”

  “Just like that?” Marisol questions. “You just trust her?”

  I snort at that. “It’s more than that. Try to lie to me Marisol.” I turn on my illuminating gaze and stare into her eyes.

  “I think Carmichael is too old and stodgy for this job.” She replies. Hah, as if. I find his confidence and knowledge attractive, but I would climb you and Adam like a tree.

  Empress save me. This skill is half mental magic and it skims their thoughts. I smirk despite the creepiness of the Talent. “It’s good to see that you find his experience comforting.” I wink at her and she flushes. I walk over to her and lean into her ear, “but if you want me to tell Adam a little squirrel is after his nuts, I will.” I whisper.

  “No!” She turns beet red, “I mean, that will not be necessary. I believe in your truth-seeing ability. Yep, I sure do.” She turns around and starts staring at the lake.

  “I have an ability that has found truth through tier 4 misdirection. Penny’s trust in my truth seeking is based in experience. That said, don’t make me use it, it feels dirty when I use it on people I like.”

  “So that’s why the interview was so weird!” Adam exclaims. “I could have sworn the guy before me wanted to be anywhere else.”

  Before I can say anything else, I see Penny’s eyes track over my head and hear that it’s time for food. I turn off the eyes and look behind me to see the train of Giuseppe’s family bringing plates of antipasto and grilled meat to our table. Penny and I eat as though we never have and this meal would be our last.