The next four days were strange. Richard spent every waking hour waiting for something horrible to happen, because that’s what he had come to expect. He hardly slept, waking up exhausted because his body was still filled with adrenaline every time he heard the bell. Order’s system was the only reason he could function the next morning with the little sleep he got.

  With that adrenaline, he farmed. Fang and Amber always went out to scavenge to build their levels. Richard didn’t know if he was jealous or relieved. Especially when Marcus and Savannah carried them back into base camp the second day unconscious and splattered with blood. At dinner they told stories of another boss monster that was triggered because Fang had accidentally dropped a few clams in the water, which made a sea serpent charge toward them. Fang had a hard time telling the story, because it was the first time he had finally stabbed a creature. The only reason he did was because Amber was in danger and almost died. It boosted his level to eight, though. Leylah was invested in the entire story, and Richard could tell she wanted to be there. Richard tried to figure out his own feelings about knowing that if he chose a scavenger class, he’d be out there, too.

  Richard and Leylah, though they spent most of their time farming, could still practice with weapons in the armory. Izzy also helped Richard practice his whip more. With Dennison and Ike’s deaths, the remaining survivors didn’t comment on Richard already having a weapon. He brought the whip out only while practicing in the armory, but a whip wasn’t exactly a subtle weapon. Everyone in base two heard when he practiced with it. He wasn’t sure why this was a scavenger’s weapon. As a scavenger, he was supposed to be quiet and sneaky. When he asked Timick about it, he said many of the smallest creatures had bright colored scales to show just how dangerous they were. Richard didn’t feel too dangerous, but by the end of the day he could use his whip to grapple with a few of the weapons Izzy held. The fact remained, though, that if Izzy came at him with her two-headed axe, he didn’t expect to survive long.

  “You won’t be alone, though,” Izzy said. “Every single scavenger mission must have a guard for this very purpose.”

  Izzy was talking to him as if he had already chosen the scavenger class. And perhaps he had. It made little sense to practice with a whip if he’d never use it. It certainly raised his levels faster than farming, as by the end of the first day he was comfortably at level ten. He now had one point free to use as soon as he chose his class. Whenever that would be.

  When he would go with Kali to do some potion making, he felt his heart tugging that maybe this was what he should do. He didn’t know what it was, but he enjoyed stirring together ingredients to make sure their shelves were well stocked with potions. There was a basic invisible potion he made that granted the user two minutes of invisibility. He could imagine two minutes would be a big deal in a life or death situation. He also learned how to make the light potion that all the farmers used to farm well into the night. It shouldn’t have surprised him, but they went through light potions almost as fast as healing potions. There were other potions in the book that they could no longer make because of their limited resources, and a part of him ached for them. Illusion potions, elemental potions, creating doubles of yourselves potions, all seemed so strong, but they didn’t have the ingredients.

  When Kali straight up asked him why he didn’t consider taking the potion class, Richard realized he didn’t have a good enough excuse. They clearly needed potion makers as badly as they needed scavengers. It always made Richard rethink his options whenever he walked out of the potion building. Perhaps he might have the potion class as a gift from Order, but a scavenger as his main class. He just knew if he had potions as a gift, he wouldn’t do much scavenging.

  Despite waiting for eventful things to happen, they never did. Richard was left in a strange haze of waiting for the life-or-death situations he knew could pop up at any moment. As none did, he tried to be grateful every time he placed his head on his pillow that another relatively uneventful day had passed.

  Over the four days of farming, potion making, whip training, and the occasional walks around base two listening to Marcus lecture on plants, only one incident stood out to Richard. It was breakfast on the third day, and Richard was noticing how out of it Fang and Amber looked. They had been scavenging a lot, and they were so close to level ten. Richard had overheard Marcus saying that one or two more days would get them there, and the two of them looked nervous about it. Richard was trying to take their minds off it by telling them a story about farming. He could already tell the two of them would choose the farming class, and they clung to the news of the crops like Leylah clung to the news of the monsters.

  A clatter stopped Richard’s conversation. He glanced over at Leylah and saw she had dropped her spoon, a faraway look in her eye.

  “Leylah?” Richard asked.

  She said nothing. She kept that distant look in her eyes, then her back arched and she let out a scream like she’d been stabbed in the gut. Richard was so surprised he stood up, ready to check her for any injuries.

  Marcus was already at her side. Leylah screamed again, clutching her chest. Her screams turned into sobs as she covered her face. Richard felt completely helpless, even though his body was ordering him to help. But what could he do? There were no injuries on Leylah he could see.

  Marcus scooped Leylah up, a grim look on his face as he carried her out of the mess hall. Lucy hurried after them, and Richard still heard Leylah’s screams as they took her to the healers.

  “Hey.”

  The calm way in which Dmitri said this somehow made Richard jump in surprise. He was ready to help Leylah in any way possible, but other people were taking care of that.

  “Leylah’s from Callro,” Dmitri said. “I know that makes no sense to you, but this is something every person from Callro goes through.”

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  “What? What happened to her?” Fang asked.

  “We don’t know. But Marcus went through it his first two weeks here. Savannah, too. And Brittanny, Rochel…” Dmitri trailed off, looking at the group in the mess hall. Richard saw on the faces something as clear as if they had large signs above their heads. A sad, almost depressed state came over everyone from Callro, like they shared in her misery.

  “I’ve heard from Marcus that it feels like your very soul is ripped to shreds. Ripped apart, then haphazardly stitched together with big, gaping holes missing,” Dmitri said. “Leylah was forewarned about this, of course. We… failed to warn you three because of how busy we’ve all been.”

  Richard could still hear her sobbing. He curled his fingers into fists as he tried to tell his mind that she was getting help.

  “What can we do for her?” Amber asked.

  “Nothing. Lucy has tried, and no doubt she will use all her skills to patch together what she can, but whatever our friends from Callro go through when they are separated from their world, it is impossible to fix. Since she’s level ten, there isn’t much of a concern about her. She will remain in the healer’s building until she’s brought out to pick her class and receive her gift, but it will take her a few days to recover from… whatever it is they go through. Just show her compassion at this time, please. It’s all anyone can do.”

  Richard hated that answer. He needed to help, not stand here like an idiot. He couldn’t believe that Leylah would simply be out of it for the next few days. What the hell happened on Callro that made this transition to the new world somehow worse than what it already was?

  He couldn’t stop thinking about her as he went about his day. Since he was farming, he had plenty of time to worry about her, which he had to admit wasn’t good for him. He hated the mystery of it all, and his thoughts went back to Order and Chaos. If Amber and Fang’s scavenging went well today, Richard would choose his class soon and get a gift from Order. He would meet her. Ever since his brush with literal Death, he believed more that Order was real, but it still didn’t mean he liked it. It simply made the arguments that felt so familiar to his soul return. If there were some higher power, why didn’t they have a bigger hand in stopping the atrocities? Why wasn’t Order helping them out more? He could already hear Dmitri say that she was by giving everyone a gift to strengthen them. What gnawed at the back of his mind, though, was the idea that he was needed at all. Why was Order, a powerful force of nature, bothering to use someone like him? Perhaps that was the essence of what bothered him. Why was she using him to stop her brother, when she should have stopped him herself?

  “Hey, Richard.”

  He glanced up, surprised to see Marcus. How deep was he in his thoughts? Were Fang and Amber already back?

  “Ready?” Marcus asked.

  “For… what?” Richard asked. If Fang and Amber were back, would they be getting their classes now?

  “Our lecture?”

  “Right. Just a moment.”

  Richard was more than happy to get rid of his fertilizer bucket. Once that was away and Richard washed up, he walked with Marcus, half-listening to his lecture. He knew this was important stuff, but his mind could not settle down. It even took him a few moments to realize Marcus had stopped his lecture.

  “What?” Richard asked, wondering if Marcus had asked him a question.

  Marcus said nothing for a few more moments. “I want you to know that you can still choose whatever class you want.”

  Richard frowned, studying the man next to him. He wasn’t sure why this conversation was taking the turn it was. “Okay?”

  Marcus sighed. “I’ve been talking with Kali. She’s mentioned that you’ve shown a knack for potion making. I just want you to know that we need you in whatever class you choose. I don’t want you to feel obligated to choose scavenger.”

  “Oh.” Richard didn’t know why, but he was strangely touched by Marcus’s words. It was nice to know that Marcus wasn’t here to convince him to choose his class. “Right, yeah. It’s still a battle, you know? Everyone else in the newbies seems so certain about what class they’ll choose, and I’m… only kind of sure. I think I’ll choose scavenger, but potion making is something I could also see myself doing.”

  Marcus smiled. “I get it. Really, I do. It’s something you can talk to Order about when you choose your class. She would know better.”

  Richard fell silent. It all still felt weird to him, the idea that he could talk to a being. That made his stomach churn, and the anger came back from his forgotten memories that he forced himself to shove down. Marcus was watching him, and Richard wanted to change the subject.

  “So, Leylah?” Richard asked. “Is she going to be okay?”

  Marcus’s face dropped into a look that Richard could only identify as depression. Marcus turned his head, studying the wall. “No. But she’ll adapt because she has to. It’s what we’ve all had to do.”

  “I… don’t understand. Dmitri told me that your soul is torn apart and put back together.”

  Marcus nodded. “It hits us the hardest at night. Some of us are reliant on sleeping potions to get anything.” Marcus sighed. “I am. I rely on those potions. Without them, I cannot sleep a wink. On bad nights, Britanny uses Timick’s telescope and stares at our home planet for hours before she finally feels tired enough to sleep. Savannah has to sleep next to someone, preferably from Callro, to get any sleep at all. I’m not spilling their secrets or anything. Everyone else knows this, I suppose the newbies don’t because they’re in different barracks.” Marcus trailed off, watching the farmers working. “Leylah will find her own way to cope. There’s enough of us from Callro that we know what to look for to keep her from killing herself with grief.”

  Richard’s mouth dropped open. It was the casual way Marcus said this that made him know it’s happened before. “Oh… my god. That’s awful.”

  Marcus shrugged, and he looked so defeated. “We get by. One day at a time, like everyone else.”

  Silence fell over them. Richard stared ahead, his thoughts returning to Order. The kind, benevolent Goddess, yet not a Goddess, that everyone worships. And yet why would she rip Marcus from his world when the people there had such a bad reaction to being separated?

  Richard rubbed his chin in thought, feeling something scratchy. He frowned, scratching himself again. “What…”

  Marcus glanced over, then chuckled as Richard kept rubbing his cheek. “Hair takes forever to grow here.” He rubbed his short hair. “Believe me, I know. I used to have a glorious head of hair before a run-in with a demon salamander that forced me to cut my hair short.” Marcus ran his hair through his short hair, a longing look in his eyes. “Such glorious hair. But anyway, let me know if your stubble gets too bothersome. I’ll teach you how to shave with a dagger.”

  Richard couldn’t help but stare at Marcus. He kept rubbing his chin, feeling the stubble there. They had quite a rollercoaster of conversations for Richard to work through.

  If Richard was being honest with himself, though, the only reason the scavenger class was still in the running was because of Marcus. Despite living in an apocalypse and now learning that people from Callro went through hell by being separated from their planet, Richard wondered how Marcus wasn’t more bitter and angry. Richard wanted to understand how, because he had a bad feeling bitter and angry were exactly what Richard would become if he didn’t do something to stop himself.