Ongoing situation analysis: Holding Syl

  Retained and Affiliated membership is slowly growing however access to core members is still highly restricted. Insight into plans and future unavailable.

  Typical growth pattern of establishing commerce and residential areas being followed, however ratio suggests minimal need for Holding growth. Atypical behaviour identified.

  Re-purposing of lower level Depths access into Dive Administration an intelligent use of scarce resource, estimated to become fully profitable at typical rates within two decades.

  Funding of advancement still unclear, neither Holders nor any known ancestors can afford such investment, they have surpassed Holding Lys funding already.

  Situation may require further inquiry into Retainer backgrounds.

  ~ * ~

  Anya could feel Seb's surprise at the question. He'd mentioned his family here or there over the years, but always in passing. She'd never pried, never tried to understand his relationship with them. She'd barely mentioned her own family once they started Diving, at least until they ran into them at the Convention.

  Thinking about them hurt. Thinking about Sandra had hurt because they'd lost contact, it still hurt to consider the time they'd lost. Thinking about her mother was something else entirely. She knew her mother loved her, she knew her mother wanted her to be safe and well. She hadn't known that for years, hadn't believed it, still didn't always believe it.

  Seb was there for her, he didn't question, didn't push, didn't interfere with her family unless she asked. He cared and he accepted that she had her issues, but he never talked about his own. He'd never said he missed them, that thinking about them hurt. They were a part of his life she knew little about, a part that she'd never asked about because it hadn't really mattered.

  In a way, he sent.

  She shifted around even further, nearly pushing herself against the wall of the tent before settling so she could look him in the eyes from a few inches away. She smiled as she felt him weighing his words, the slight flickers of his gaze combining with the sensations of the band to make it clear he was going to explain.

  My parents are good people, he began. My childhood was mostly happy, they were supportive of my making my own choices. They would have been happier if I hadn't moved away for school, or if I'd moved back when I got a job, because then they would have been able to see me more often.

  But?

  But I had a job, I had a place to live, I was content. I missed them, but not enough that moving back had any urgency. Then I Awoke and-

  -moving back would make no sense. Especially now.

  Now I haven't spoken to them in years, haven't kept in touch, he agreed. I've basically vanished from the Shallows, I might as well not exist anymore. So what would I even say if I tried to reach out?

  She understood. What he said made sense, even if she could feel there was more to it than that. He could have said something, could have tried to reach out. She could feel him dwelling on the thoughts, dwelling on the idea.

  She put her hand on the back of his neck, pulling gently until he curled closer and rested against her. She tried to imagine a family that she'd want to reach out to but hadn't. She thought about it, about missing someone but not acting on it.

  She thought about Sandra, about the time they had lost, she found herself thinking about Tomas, the Seneschal who had spent more time organizing her life than anyone else. She didn't love him, didn't think of him as family, but she did miss those rare moments where they had connected, where he'd been present.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  We can figure something out, we can reach out, she sent. If you want to.

  Nearly five years, almost all of it without any contact at all, not even a hello.

  They're still family though?

  What would I tell them? I can't explain where I've been, can't talk about Awakening.

  We can figure something out.

  She felt him hesitate. He didn't move, didn't tense, didn't show any outward signs, but she still felt it. She kissed his forehead then settled next to him.

  We don't have to, but if you ever want to, she added.

  He didn't answer, she didn't expect him to. There was no rush, no need to decide. She'd be there for him the way he was for her.

  ~ * ~

  Despite the relative horde of goblins still left to deal with Seb found his thoughts returning to the question Anya had asked a few days ago. Did he miss his family? Did he want to reconnect in some way? What would he even say if he did?

  He considered each question in turn, dedicating a goblin to each answer as he danced through the cavern. He did miss them, not the way he would miss Anya, not even quite the same way he had missed Fay while they were trying to understand their Affinities. Time had left a distance, an absence in the urgency of the feeling.

  Darting towards a handful of crossbow-wielding creatures he continued down the list. Reconnecting would be difficult, would be strange after all this time. He'd cut the ties, he'd stopped thinking about the absence, bringing it back up would mean changes, one way or another. He could show up, he could let them know he was still alive, still almost unreachable. Anya could come with him, he could introduce her to them as his- He nearly stumbled as he considered the question, nearly earned himself an injury that Anya would tease him about later.

  How would I even introduce you? he sent.

  Seb?

  He could feel her confusion, the moment of distraction from her focus on the battle.

  My fiance? My wife?

  He felt her stumble as she registered his words. Not just confusion, distraction at a time that needed focus.

  What!?

  If we ever met my parents, he clarified.

  Really? You're asking this right now? While we're knee deep in goblins?

  He cut down another as he flitted into another group. The few he'd left alive wouldn't be that way for long, wouldn't be doing anything but take up space and time. This wasn't an actual challenge, they hadn't gone far enough for the horde to be much more than a warm up.

  You asked. I'm thinking about it, he sent.

  That was almost a week ago.

  I know.

  He did, he hadn't wanted to dwell, hadn't wanted to think about it, at least not seriously. He'd managed, until today that is. Now he was thinking about it, he couldn't find a way to stop thinking about it.

  I don't know what I'd tell them about why I've been unreachable, about why I vanished, he explained.

  Tell them you were traveling?

  No email? No contact of any sort?

  He could feel her considering before her thoughts turned impish.

  You were recruited by the government for a covert operation overseas. You couldn't contact them because it would blow your cover. You couldn't tell them because it was top secret. It's done so you can let them know it happened, but can't share any details.

  He laughed, the sound echoing oddly above the sound of goblins snarling at them.

  Wasn't that the plot of that movie we watched?

  So? They believed it.

  It was a movie Anya, of course they believed it.

  It might work though, it wasn't the sort of movie his parents would have ever watched, not as far as he knew. It had plenty of flaws, plenty of holes that they might dig into, but would they? Was he actually considering doing this?

  Fiance or wife? he repeated.

  You've never asked me to marry you, she sent back, a flicker of something under the words.

  He hesitated, nearly getting skewered on a spear as he did. They'd never discussed anything of the sort. They were together, they were who and what they were. Their bond was everything. The rings were… He thought about her reaction to the rings, to how distracted she'd been that night, how overwhelming her emotions had been for the next several weeks. Had she… had he..?

  He turned to face her as the last of the goblins fell. He didn't move, he took the moment to look at her. Nothing he'd seen about Holding culture spoke of marriages. None of the Awakened he knew were married, but how many did he really know? How much did he know about any of them beyond Fay, Briana and Alex? Was it possible he'd simply overlooked the matter this whole time?

  Seb?

  He blinked and realized Anya was standing right in front of him, that she'd crossed the cavern while he was lost in thought.

  Am I an idiot?

  Never, she answered, not a shred of doubt coming across the band.

  He looked around, took in the chaos and mess left behind by the battle. This was hardly the time or place, there were so many better options. But then again, this was exactly where they found the deepest connection other than when sparring.

  I am though. I should have done this so much sooner.

  He took her hands in his, stepped close then slid to one knee.

  Seb..? What are you..?

  Anya, he began then found himself licking his lips despite not actually speaking. Why did he suddenly feel more nervous than he had when he knocked on her bedroom door that night, when he finally admitted what they both had known.

  Anya, will you marry me?

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