Date: 5-8-164

  As tense as it was, my tutoring session with Jacque was fruitful. Nadine has commented several times on the improvements to my vocabulary, grammar, and pronunciation. Of course, a few hours of tutoring a week will only take me so far—if I am to navigate this realm and save you, I will need all of the knowledge I can acquire. This brings me to my next goal: to learn how to read. For a private library, Nadine’s collection seems fairly extensive, so such a skill should open a new world of knowledge to me.

  Thus far, I’ve identified three writing systems:

  The numeral system.

  I’ve already touched upon this in a previous entry and believe little more needs to be said at this point.

  A set of sixty to seventy characters that make up most of the plain writing observed in Nadine’s books.

  I surmise that is the primary writing system. My best guess is that it’s based in phonetics, like the simple script used by traders back home, with each character representing a sound and clusters of characters coming together to form words. I’ve considered adapting another code-breaking spell to teach myself this script, but such an approach may be too time-consuming. I’m already spending nearly every free moment refining and practicing my current language spell. It is perhaps something I should ask for Jacque’s help with.

  A more complex pictographic system that is used sparingly.

  This final script is forcing me to reevaluate some of my assumptions about this world. As I mentioned above, it’s rarely used, and, when it does appear, it is almost always within some kind of diagram or illustration. Many of these are anatomical illustrations—these books are no doubt Nadine’s reference material for her medical practice—but some of them are more abstract, tangles of lines and geometric patterns that don’t resemble anything in the physical world.

  They bear a fleeting resemblance to Guntao spell diagrams. And yet, I still haven’t seen any signs of actual magic in the day-to-day lives of the Panzeans. So, if it is not magic, could these diagrams be connected to their wondrous technology? It seems an impossible idea, but could they have found some way to use aether to drive their machines?

  The answers to these questions will likely elude me so long as I remain illiterate.

  ***

  I have a confession to make, my love.

  This is all fascinating—I’m certain you will agree—but, in writing this, I’m distracting myself. I overheard a discussion earlier today, you see. It concerns my quest to meet with Valia, who alone has the power to retrieve your body from the ocean, and…

  Well, I suppose I had better just tell you what was said.

  ***

  I was perusing one of Nadine’s medical books in the library this morning when Olrick stepped out to pick up the mail. This is a daily occurrence—the city appears to have a rather robust post system—and I paid it little mind at first. However, when he returned, he burst into the entry hall and called out in an excited voice.

  Even though I wasn’t actively using my language spell, I did manage to pick out the word “Valia.”

  I began casting immediately, leaving my book on the table and crossing swiftly to the open library door.

  “—finally here!” Olrick continued, his voice growing in volume as he came down the hall. I ducked behind the door frame as he passed on his way to his wife’s office. “I [promised?/cursed???] it would never arrive, but here it is!”

  I heard the creak of her office door, and then the quiet metallic scrape of the envelope opening, the letter unfolding. (Surely I have mentioned that practically everything here has a vaguely mineral quality? It gives the whole world an uncanny feel.) The room was silent for several minutes more, save for the occasional sound of Olrick’s boots scuffing against the floor.

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  “I am under [???],” Nadine said. I couldn’t immediately tell if she was worried or relieved.

  The sound of a single clap. “But you already were?” Olrick asked.

  “Most of the [???] have been [eliminated?]. The [???] pool is down to five physicians, and I’m one of them.”

  Olrick let out a laugh. “That’s great!” There was a stomping of feet, perhaps a brief scuffle. A celebratory dance of some sort? “Ah, but I wish they’d quit with these games. They should just choose you and be done with it.”

  “It’s a [two words, valuable?] position. And important. I can see why they’d be so [particular?].”

  “Fine, fine. I reckon that’s fair.” Another pause, though I could hear the faint rustling of fabric. “Does that mean you’re getting an audience?”

  They didn’t say anything for a few moments after that, leaving me to consider that word. Audience. I’d only heard the word a few times before, but it held special significance: it’s the word Olrick used when talking about a meeting with the ruler of Valia’s Watch.

  “Close the door,” Nadine said softly.

  I’m not certain if they realized I had been eavesdropping or if it was merely a precaution. As I have mentioned—perhaps to excess—everything in the city is made of stone and metal. This results in heavy walls and doors that are remarkably effective at muffling sound.

  I rushed down the hall to her office. As I pressed my ear to the wall, she said, “I know what you’re thinking.”

  “And what’s wrong with it?” came Olrick’s muffled voice. “[By the ancestors?], it might even help you. It’s a good idea.”

  “I am [trying out?] to be [Lord?] Valia’s [personal] physician.” Her voice was faint, but firm. “Maybe Why would [trap his intrigue???], but I’m not there to [entertain] him. If I can’t prove that I’m [capable/skilled], then we’re stuck here.” She grew quiet enough that I could barely hear her. “Like this…”

  “Dear, I know these people. People like him. They can’t resist a good [mystery/puzzle]. And this woman, this Why, she’s the biggest mystery I ever saw in forty years of sailing.”

  (Remember, the Panzean year is short, so this is perhaps ten or fifteen years by our reckoning.)

  Olrick continued. Maybe this is simply due to self-interest, but I thought it was a convincing argument: “She shows up at the very [edge] of the sea, wrapped up in [animal skins?], in a boat I swear was made of [wood/trees?]. A woman with no memory and no [past].”

  I stood there for several moments, the cool stone of the wall against my face, holding my breath for fear of missing their next word. Finally, Nadine replied. “You don’t really believe she has amnesia, do you?” Another short pause. “For [what it’s worth??], I think it’s [kind/sweet] that you’re [lifting??] her up. I want to help her, too, or I wouldn’t have [indecipherable phrase] with Jacque.”

  Perhaps I should be grateful that they are gracious enough to play along with my amnesia story. I could faintly hear Olrick hem and haw even through the door, trying to work out some response. Nadine didn’t give him the opportunity.

  “She is [no necklace]. [There is no possibility that I will] take her with me.”

  Again she brings up these strange necklaces that everyone wears. It vexes me! Will I be kept from you for want of a gaudy bauble?

  “There’s more to her than that,” he said. “What about her face?”

  “[No necklace] are known to [indecipherable].”

  “You don’t think she looks like…?” He didn’t finish that sentence.

  I could barely make out the sound of Nadine’s sigh. “If you really think [Lord?] Valia would be interested, can’t you [request?] an audience for yourself? Why does she have to come along for my audience?”

  “That would take years. Why doesn’t have years.”

  I nodded along, silently cheering for Olrick.

  “Husband, if I don’t get this [position/job], we will [indecipherable] in a year. Do you think we’ll still be able to [indecipherable] Why then?”

  The faint sound of Olrick’s boots scuffing the floor again.

  “Well, we can’t just put her out on the street.”

  “This is why I love you,” Nadine said after another pause. Her voice sounded more pitying than affectionate. “I wouldn’t ask you to [turn away from her?]. But right now, I need to focus on making the best [impression] I can with [Lord?] Valia. That’s how we make all of our [???] problems go away. After that, we can [take our time] giving Why the help she needs.

  “And I mean the help she really needs, not feeding her some [fantasy/story] that will never [become true].”

  I remained there, crouching at the door and grinding my teeth, but they were silent after that. The help I need? The help I need! What did she know of what help I needed? What I needed was to be reunited with you, but she’d already decided I was delusional, or unworthy, or—

  When it was clear their conversation was over, I turned and crept back down the hall.

  Olrick has always been fair in his dealings with me, and I do think he means well. As for Nadine—it’s not that I ever thought she was on my side, exactly, but now I see that she will actively stand in my way.

  I shouldn’t put these next thoughts to paper. I know I shouldn’t, and please forgive me, but I need to work this out. I need to work this out or I’ll lose you.

  Is there some application of Truthbinding that would bring her to my view on this matter? Some combination of facts in my possession that I could insert into her consciousness and thereby turn her into an ally? I can’t think of any, but the human mind is a puzzle that can be solved, and she lacks the mental defenses to stop me. I simply need to work out the solution.

  I won’t, of course. I could never go home again if I broke such a taboo. But you understand why my thinking would be drawn along such lines, don’t you? Surely you know why I would even entertain such ideas?

  There is little I would not do to see you again.