Elanthe padded back to her bedroom, having made sure for the third time that all the windows and doors of the cottage were as secure as possible. She lay back down on the simple pallet that Chuck had pulled together for her by stuffing hay into his bedsheet and sewing it closed with a tiny emergency sewing kit he found in the dead paladin's pack. She settled into the uneasy sleep of someone who knows full well she cheated death that day.

  Initially, her dreams were of the hell she'd escaped. She could feel the Demon King's eyes boring into her near-nakedness, and her fear spiked as she saw Chuck approach her, obsidian knife raised. Then suddenly he slashed her free of her bonds, and she met the soft brown eyes of a passing palomino, grabbed her brilliant white mane, and swung upon her back to ride into the most peaceful meadow she'd ever seen.

  She laughed as the pony pranced through the wildflowers running wild and free, and slid off the animal's back when it stopped to drink from a babbling brook. Elanthe buried her head in the horse's neck and hugged it, enjoying every moment of the dream's peace and serenity.

  When the sun rudely announced itself with a lance of light through her room's small window, Elanthe reluctantly bid her new friend farewell. "Goodbye, Buttercup. I do hope I will see you again." She stretched and lifted herself off the floor, then looked out the window to get a sense of the day's weather. She couldn't believe what she saw.

  Buttercup stood beside the barn, looking back up at her. She rubbed her eyes and blinked several times, but the horse remained. It shook its head and began prancing about the meadow, stopping occasionally to look back at the cottage.

  Elanthe was usually quite sensitive about how she moved, so as to have as little impact as possible on those around her, but in her haste, she forgot all pretense of being quiet. She slammed into the wall at the foot of the stairs and threw open the kitchen door with such force that the knob cracked the wood wall as she released it. She didn't bother with any of the stairs out the back door as she ran to the horse.

  When she reached it, the mare was already trotting. She grabbed its mane and swung herself off before putting her heels to Buttercup's flanks and taking off across the meadow at a gallop.

  * * *

  I put my mace back down as I saw Elanthe mount the palomino and ride off. I'm not sure where she got the horse, but they seemed to know each other, so I'd sort it out later. No rival gang was attacking my house, so I had no need to panic. "Let's get you outside, Boots. You probably need to go."

  I made my way down the stairs to see a confused Pemberton looking up at me. "We're not under attack, sir, are we?"

  "No, we're not. Our elf apparently made herself a friend yesterday and is off to return it to its rightful owner. I hope."

  "A friend, sir?"

  "A horse. Nothing to worry about. I'm sure she's taking it home."

  "That is a relief to hear, sir. As a captain, you're entitled to a warhorse and a spare, for when your primary gets killing in battle, but any horses for those under your command come strictly from your own funds, which currently are severely lacking."

  "Do I get paid? When will the money arrive?"

  "That is the eternal question, Sir. I am told that it is in the mail."

  I made my way to the cupboards to see if we had anything other than ship's biscuits to eat, already knowing the answer. I had to come up with some money quickly, as the few coins in the paladin's coin purse were not going to last long, especially as I'd have to go into town today and buy some supplies. The locals would be interested to learn who moved into the cottage at the south end of town anyway.

  The thought of secretly selling Elanthe's cutesy pony popped into my mind.

  You really are a big dummy.

  "What do you mean, Tengen?"

  That cutesy pony? The one elf-girl just ran off with? That was Noctura.

  I pumped some rusty water into the sink until it ran clear and filled a wooden cup. "No, cat, you got that wrong. It was a palomino pony. It looked nothing like Noctura.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  Tengen just sat on the corner of the kitchen table, looking at me. Occasionally, the tip of her tail twitched. There are times when I really hate cats.

  "Okay, so tell me. How is that beautiful pony playfully riding with an unsullied maiden actually a nightmare demon from hell?"

  How is the wrong question. Why would be better. Neither matters, though. The fact is that your elf-girl has tamed one of the most feared kinds of demons. I suspect this will impact her ability to dreamwalk and drive targets insane, which means you got a dud.

  I thought for a minute as I sipped my water, wishing that it were coffee. This was a problem that wasn't going to kill me, so I wasn't going to bother thinking any more about it. It sure was a cute pony.

  "Pemberton! If my nightmare has two aspects, can both collect paychecks?"

  "I say, Sir, you've got a knack for this."

  * * *

  I gathered everyone in the kitchen, except Tengen, who decided to do some hunting in the barn while Mum wasn't there. He, Pemberton, Calista, and Elanthe all sat and stood around the kitchen. Mostly stood. We only had one chair and one stool.

  Elanthe ordered Calista to give up the stool and took her place on it next to me. I secretly thanked her, while feeling disappointed that Calista wasn't close enough for me to put my hand on her thigh. That creamy thigh…

  "Okay, people, today we need to get serious. The clock is ticking, and I'm supposed to subjugate this village. Elanthe scouted it yesterday and gave us the broad strokes, and she and I are going in together today. We're going to go in with Noctura—"

  "Buttercup." Her name is Buttercup.

  "Okay… Buttercup. We're going to go in with Buttercup and meet the powerbrokers of the village, see if we can talk them into accepting me as the lord of the village without a fight."

  "I could fight them!" Calista announced. "I'd be happy to. I'm sure there might even be a farmer or lumberjack who could give me a challenge. Do you think there could be a Russian here? I hear they wrestle bears."

  "Ah, no. I'm pretty sure there will be no Russians, and we're going to try to avoid fighting the villagers. We're going to try diplomacy first. I don't want to crack any skulls unless I have to."

  "I'll start drawing up the contracts." Mum made to slip out of the kitchen. "We need to define exactly what few duties you owe to the peasants, and how much in taxes they're going to pay you in return."

  "No to that too. We're going to try to work within the village's existing system before we work on contracts. There is one thing, though. One cardinal rule that you must all follow all the time. This is an order. If there's any chance that any villager sees you, you must be in human form. In fact, make it a point to stay in human form at all times unless you're unable to hold it, in which case you hide in the root cellar."

  "Captain, I need to point out that under the code of demonic employment, it says—"

  I held my hand up. "Pemberton, your task for today is to figure out how I can give that order and have it be legal and fully compliant per demonic law. If the villagers know that we've got a house full of demons, my diplomacy plan is cooked. There's no way anyone in their right mind willingly accepts a demon overlord."

  "That… may be a challenge, sir."

  "Good. I know I've got the right man on it."

  "Demon, sir."

  "Of course. No offense meant."

  Mum spoke up. "So, if there's a traveler who comes down the road, we can be seen in our proper forms, correct?"

  "What? No."

  "But you said that we had to make sure that no villagers see us in our proper forms. A traveler is by definition not a villager."

  I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Mum wasn't trying to piss me off; he was entirely genuine in his inquiry. And he was technically correct. "Mum, I want you to work on the phrasing of the order and work with Pemberton on the legalities. The goal is that no non-demon entity ever sees any of you in any form other than human. I don't care about bugs; I do care about babies. The phrasing should be so simple and broad as to leave no loopholes. Do you understand?"

  "My lord, it will be my honor to work on that, I can assure you that—"

  "Good. Calista." Her name rolled off my tongue, and I felt my attention drift, merely thinking about her. She was dressed as usual in workout clothes, but her top seemed to be a bit tighter than yesterday. And a bit lower cut. Her skin was so smooth as it disappeared beneath—

  Elanthe's face appeared directly in my field of vision. My eyes were locked on hers as she slowly straightened back up and pulled my gaze up with them. I reset and looked Calista straight in her yellow eyes, using all of my willpower to keep my gaze from wandering lower.

  "Calista. Patrol the entire perimeter of the village. All of us came in on the south side of the river, and I imagine that there's some mystical reason for that. Look for anything that could threaten the village's safety from the other sides, and then take a good look at what lies to the south. Avoid being seen by the villagers. They won't be used to seeing a woman dressed as you do."

  "Yes, sir!" She actually saluted and bounced when I gave her the order. I locked my eyes on her forehead.

  "Oh, and if you come across a desiccated corpse, bring it back to the cottage."

  "Are we going to raise it from the dead to serve as the general for our undead legions?" Her eyes shone bright with delight at the thought, and the concept even earned another bounce. I had a feeling that there were a lot more questions like that one in my future, that were going to be just as hard to say no to.