Chapter 13 - Broken Glass

  "Ready for your first lesson?"

  Felicia nodded excitedly, sitting across from Daniel in a couch salon in his hotel room. Despite his instructions, she had put on a beautiful green dress.

  I don’t mind if my green dresses get ruined. They were just used for grandmother’s sake.

  The soft creak of Daniel settling into his chair across from her was followed by the gentle whisper of fabric. He was probably leaning back, studying her. The thought made her straighten her spine reflexively.

  "To start with, we will go over what you already know, so that I know how to best teach you. So, can you tell me about magic?"

  Felicia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, organizing her thoughts. She had learned the most basic of principles, at least. "Magic is the process of transforming the natural energy of mana into something else."

  "Yes, that is the very basic principle. What else?"

  "Magic is divided into two main branches: Alderic Magic and Sarun Magic. Alderic is the type that anyone can do with some practice, like creating formations, enhancing muscle strength, or controlling mana in simple ways. Your magic sight is like that, I expect."

  She took a gamble on that last part, hoping it was one of the simpler applications of magic. By the way he had spoken of it until now, that seemed to be the case.

  "Yes, correct. I would add that formations can only convert mana in logical ways, or ways that do not require a mind to bend reality to its will. Heat, light, barriers, and a ton of more complex applications that would take a while to go through—like the index."

  A slight rustling sound suggested he had gestured toward something.

  “Did you just point at your index?”

  “...Yes. I’m still getting used to this, sorry.”

  Felicia couldn’t help but smile. It was so lovely how he admitted his mistakes right away, no matter how small. It stood in stark contrast to everyone else who had ever taught her, who would rather blame her for not following along.

  "So that's what separates Sarun and Alderic magic?” she continued, not caring to linger in the awkward silence. “The mind?"

  "Exactly. It's the power of visualization, will, and authority. Can you tell me what Sarun Magic is, then?"

  "Mmh, it's the kind of magic mostly used in combat. They're usually used to attack or defend, and they do not have to follow the laws of physics."

  "Correct. The illogical and the undefinable—which is why they're so hard to learn. Not to mention create from scratch."

  The weight in his voice made her stomach clench. She heard the unspoken 'like yours' hanging in the air between them.

  "...I was lucky."

  "Yes, but that doesn't mean it's not an incredible achievement. Everything has to line up for new magic to be created, including luck. I suspect your blindness had a great effect on it as well, and your lack of traditional learning."

  Felicia blanked, startled by the casual way he said it. Not 'despite your blindness' or 'in spite of your condition,' but suggesting it might have actually helped somehow. The idea was so foreign she almost couldn't process it.

  "Maybe..."

  "Okay, it sounds like you have a good grasp on the basics. Formations and stuff can wait until you're able to see them; it would be difficult otherwise."

  "Yes!"

  The promise of sight, of independence, of finally being able to participate instead of being protected—it made her heart race.

  "I like your enthusiasm. Okay, so seeing through mana is basically just a way to take advantage of the natural sense of positioning. Like we know where our arms are at any time without watching them, we also know where our mana is. But that doesn't mean simply spreading our mana will let us see our surroundings. We need to convert the mana first, from formless into matter."

  Felicia frowned, turning her attention inwards, tracing the shape of her own mana as it flowed through her body. Wasn’t that only possible because it was formless?

  "That can be done?"

  "Yes, but it's not easy. And the quantity of matter will be very small. You have to convert it into gaseous form, which lets it interact with the environment---even let you see color if you do it right."

  Color. The word sent a sharp pang through her chest. She sometimes had dreams in which she remembered colors—green like the grass, blue like her mother's eyes—but they faded with each passing year.

  "...How do I do it?"

  The sound of something being retrieved cut her question short. A soft scraping noise, then the gentle clink of glass against the wooden table between them.

  "I've created a small device for you to practice. This glass has a small formation that keeps all air out, creating a vacuum inside. And whenever any gas comes out of it, it makes a small sound, like this."

  Felicia leaned forward instinctively. Then she heard a delicate clink, like a crystal wind chime touched by the gentlest breeze.

  "This training is usually done by trying to push dust off a table, but that relies on being able to see it. I think this is better, especially for you."

  The glass was slid across the table directly in front of her, and she reached for it carefully. Her fingers found smooth, cool crystal, perfectly cylindrical.

  Stolen story; please report.

  "And... I just need to practise this until I get it?"

  It can't be that simple. Can it?

  "Basically. I've got some tips for you, but I want to see if you can do without them first. Your visualization skill might be incredible, partly due to your blindness."

  There it was again—that suggestion that her blindness might be an advantage. Felicia turned the glass over in her hands, feeling its weight and texture.

  "So, anyone aspiring to be a great mage should be blinded at seven?"

  The words came out sharper than she intended, colored with the bitterness she usually tried to hide. She immediately regretted the sarcasm, but Daniel just chuckled.

  "Well, no. But with the right methods, you can take advantage of your strengths. I'd say anyone aspiring to be a great mage should have a great teacher, like me."

  His confidence was infectious, and despite herself, Felicia found herself giggling. "I admire your confidence, Daniel."

  "Fine, we can skip the uncle part—it sounded too formal anyhow. Call me whatever you want."

  "Danny?"

  "Sure."

  "Dan?"

  "Why not?"

  "Brother?"

  Ah.

  The desire she hadn’t even vocalized to herself suddenly slipped out of her.

  The brothers in the stories, who would do anything to protect their little sisters. Everything Daniel had done so far, from standing up to her grandmother to promising to teach her magic, fit so well.

  She knew she was blushing now.

  “Hahah!” Daniel laughed sharply. “If you’re okay with getting a noogie, sure.”

  Such a casual response, maybe done on purpose after seeing her red cheeks.

  "A noogie?" She tilted her head at the unfamiliar word, trying to suppress the emotions inside.

  Daniel had smiled as he spoke, almost sounding like a conman. Something told her she should say no—even the wording made it sound like it was something bad.

  "...I feel like I should say no. You sounded evil for a bit there."

  "Big brothers are supposed to be evil sometimes.” He was still smiling, she could tell. “Just like little sisters are supposed to be annoying."

  "So that's what I've been doing wrong."

  It was meant as a joke, but she heard how bitter her voice was. And so did Daniel, judging by the silence.

  "...You'll have plenty of chances to annoy them in the future. And the first step will be getting that glass to sing."

  Felicia moved her focus to the crystal glass in her hands, feeling the anticipation almost overflowing.

  Alright, glass. Let's see what I can do.

  She began manipulating the formless energy within her body, directing it into her arms, and then continued to push it into the glass cylinder. Only a little bit at first, so she didn’t have to worry about running out.

  She could feel the mana swirling between her hands, but the glass barrier didn’t stop it from moving out of her grasp, forcing her to contain it manually. It formed into a small sphere between her hands.

  Okay, so… turn into gas?

  She focused intently, willing the energy to change. Nothing happened.

  …Please turn into gas?

  Still nothing, though she hadn’t expected that to work.

  What did Daniel say? Visualization, will, and authority?

  But how could she imagine one formless thing turning into another formless thing? How could she will something she'd never experienced? And what authority did a blind girl have over the fundamental forces of magic?

  What even is gas in the first place? Solid would be much easier to visualize. Could that work?

  She changed her strategy, instead trying to make her mana solid. Condensing it into matter, something that could be touched and held. Like ice formed from water, water formed from steam, and steam… Well, there was probably something above that, too.

  She imagined compression, density, the mana pulling together like a handful of snow squeezed into a tight ball—

  “You really are talented,” Daniel suddenly said, sounding somewhat exasperated.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re forming tiny crystals of mana. That’s two steps ahead of making gas.”

  Crystals?

  “It worked?”

  She focused on the glass again, and yes—she could feel something different now. Tiny fragments gathering at the bottom of the glass, hard and real and still somehow part of her. Like extensions of her own fingers.

  Which means I’m sensing the bottom of the glass.

  Tears welled up in her eyes in an instant.

  She could sense something without touching it. It was just a tiny part of a glass, and the crystals couldn't move on their own, but still—she knew exactly where it was in her mind.

  "It worked!" she cried, pulling the glass to her chest and clutching it like a precious treasure. "I can sense it!"

  “That’s truly impressive. But it’s too early to be that moved, because now the road to gas is super simple.”

  "...Heat!" The word burst from her lips.

  “Yes, basically. But visualized, not… actual heat.”

  Felicia was barely listening, already eagerly imagining the crystal sand at the bottom warming up. Soon enough, she felt them turn liquid, forming a perfect little disk at the bottom of the glass.

  The sensation was so vivid, so much clearer than the crystals had been—like the difference between sensing something with or without gloves.

  But the success only served to fuel her hunger for more. If this was how it felt to sense the bottom of a glass, what would an entire room be like? What would Daniel look like?

  She pushed harder, imagining the liquid heating further, molecules dancing faster and faster until they broke free—

  A beautiful chime began ringing from the formation on the glass, clear and sweet and continuous. She could feel hundreds of tiny dots bouncing around inside the crystal, then streaming out through the opening, dispersing into the air around her.

  "Aaah! Aah!"

  The room formed around her, slowly at first, like a tiny matchstick lighting the room, but then in increasing detail as the gaseous mana flowed out. The glass fell from her hands, shattering on the floor, and then the world exploded into existence around her.

  The couch she sat on, red velvet. Red, the color. She could see the color in her mind. The brown mahogany table standing between them, rich and warm and solid. The colorful carpet under their feet with intricate patterns she'd never imagined, the soft yellow walls that seemed to glow with warmth, paintings in frames, a large clock with ornate hands, an unmade bed in the corner, the white ceiling stretching overhead, windows letting in afternoon light, the door to the hallway...

  And Daniel.

  He had tears in his eyes, smiling as wide as his lips would allow, staring at her with such a warm expression—proud and amazed and somehow tender.

  Her, sitting with her face in her hands, leaned over and sobbing against her lap, overwhelmed by a joy so intense it felt like her heart might burst.

  She had never felt this happy before. Not once in her entire life.

  “Congratulations, Felicia.”

  His voice seemed to come from far away, though she could see his lips moving. Everything was too much and not enough all at once.

  She pulled the table to the side in a swift motion, then she burst forward, assaulting her poor teacher with a wet hug. The chair nearly fell backwards from the force.

  “Thaaaang youuu, Danil! Thaaang yooo!!”

  Her voice barely obeyed her thoughts, but she had to try to tell him how much this meant.

  Daniel looked surprised at first, frozen for a split second, but then he embraced her with that same warm smile. That brotherly smile, she decided.

  “Anything for you, Fillie.”