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33. THE GOSSAMER GEAR

  I travelled the void of my dream; the nameless, shapeless abyss bending and curling around me as I drifted by varying shades of black. It was oddly comforting to be so isolated against the stark nothingness of this unreality.

  As I wandered, I came across a door; it stood out against the lack of anything by simply being something. Curious as to where it led, I opened it. The knob was a basic brass bulb; no lock or keyhole was present on or around it, and it turned with a satisfying ‘click’.

  The door was a heavy, solid slab of maple with intricate cascades of filigree chiselled into its surface. It swung open on smooth, silent hinges, revealing a luxurious, brightly lit room. There wasn’t a square centimetre of unoccupied space in the cluttered room, to the point where I couldn’t tell what kind of room it actually was.

  There was clearly a bed against the far wall, the large wooden posts of which jutted out from the stacks of clothing and papers that littered the surrounding floor.

  Silken drapes were pulled back and tied to the posts with fine purple velvet strips. The curtains themselves glittered with a fine gemstone dust, and along the wall at the head of the bed was a massive wooden headboard.

  It was carved with a mural depicting an ancient struggle between titanic creatures. Small mountain ranges lined the bottom of the image, the tops little more than uncomfortable pebbles under the feet of the monsters. I couldn’t see the surface of the mattress through the dozens and dozens of throw pillows strewn across it.

  Along the wall to the right of the bed was a large desk, easily spanning half the length of the room; along the length of its top ran a large cabinet with alchemist’s cubbies. Each of which was labelled with various elements and ingredients. More stacks of paper were piled on top, blocking access to some drawers.

  The floor was barely visible; patches of wooden planks marked the spots where a walking path had been cleared out and were intermittently broken by patches of ornate area rugs. Scrolls, parchment bundles, wooden planks, bottles, leather wraps, pouches, and many other objects were thrown haphazardly about, seemingly discarded mid-thought and not picked back up.

  A large chest rested at the foot of the bed and was one of the few things in the room to not have any items accumulated on its top. Whatever was stored inside it was obviously accessed frequently. As I scanned the room, there were no other doors leading out, no windows through which I could gather context for its location.

  The only egress to the room was through the door I had entered, and, even more interesting, there was no visible source for the light in the room. It was a soft, warm, yellow light, much like would be given off by a candle. But there were no shadows. Not a single shadow to be seen in the entire room.

  I couldn’t tell if my mind had conjured this, or if my spirit was somewhere other than my body. It was vividly real, and every minor detail was immediately available for recollection. Whose room was I in? Was it mine?

  None of the things I’d seen were anywhere in my memory, and even with the uncanny feeling of familiarity, I didn’t think I’d ever been in this place before. I turned back towards the door I’d opened only to be met by a pair of blood-red eyes.

  “VITA?!”

  Nia’cyl had just opened the door and was in the process of stepping into the room when I turned around. There was a pregnant moment between us where we both simultaneously experienced the feeling of incongruity when seeing someone in a place they should not be.

  Like running into a colleague at the mall. Or a cousin at the doctor’s office.

  Nia’cyl let the door shut behind her and then, without another word, leapt at me. I didn’t perceive a threat, but I also didn’t know what to expect from the small fae. I clearly wasn’t expected here, and based on the entirely ‘lived-in’ atmosphere of the room, it was somewhere she considered quite private.

  I allowed her to latch herself around my torso, not moving or lifting a finger to intervene in what was happening. I trusted her not to kill me, which I was positive she had the capability of doing at a moment’s notice, but remained cautious so as not to give off any level of aggressive intent.

  “You’re allowed to hug me back, you know?”

  I was taken aback by her speech. She wasn’t communicating with me through the song. The sound of her voice felt like a blunt hammer compared to her usual ethereal words, and I was at a loss how to respond.

  I also noted that she wasn’t burning as a result of her contact with me. Whatever physical damage my iron body would have caused her wasn’t occurring here in this… place.

  She peeled her head back to stare up at me, her arms and legs still tightly wrapped around me. She was entirely naked, not one scrap of cloth covered her body as she frowned up at me, anticipating a response.

  “W-what.”

  Was all I could manage as my mind whirled. Was she speaking English? What happened to the formalities? Why wasn’t she speaking through the song?

  “Easy, Vita, things are a bit different here.”

  The look on my face must have expressed my feeling of ‘no shit’ because she laughed and rested her head against my chest.

  “Just hug me back for now.”

  I did as she instructed, wrapping my arms around her and embracing her. Something sparked between us, then; like a piece of myself falling back into a slot it should have been. The uncanny feeling vanished, and everything seemed inexplicably normal once more.

  It felt like when Ava had initially touched my core. Something I hadn’t known I’d been missing had found its place within me. Scanning through my memories, the same feeling was present when Armela had pierced my hands with her spider-like limbs.

  I’d been too stunned in the moment to recognize it. With the addition of Nia’cyl’s interaction, I became almost certain these feelings were related to my soul in some strange way. Were they adding to it? Altering it? Taking from it? It was such an alien feeling.

  I wasn’t as concerned about what was happening at the moment; more so, it had transmuted into a rather simple curiosity. Releasing her, she slid off me and stepped past my leg; it was then that I realized I, too, was naked. This didn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it should; it felt natural, normal, expected.

  She carefully navigated the ravine-like paths branching from her doorway and made it to a small cushioned chair tucked away in the corner. Sitting, she gestured to the bed where I could presumably sit and talk with her.

  It was a tedious journey across her room; attempting not to displace or disturb some of the more precarious towers of books and documents. Platters rested atop some of them with forgotten fruits and nuts, which oddly hadn’t rotted at all. They were perfectly ripe, as though they had only been bitten into moments ago.

  By the time I’d gotten to the bed, Nia’cyl was sipping on a steaming cup of what smelled like some kind of leaf tea. The cup was an incredibly intricate ceramic, which came accompanied by a small saucer.

  Glowing golden lines flowed through the creamy white material in such small and complex detail that it took me a second to distinguish that they were fractal patterns. I cleared some pillows from a small portion of the mattress and sat, sinking into the bed more than I expected.

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  Nia’cyl eyed me appraisingly over the rim of her steaming tea.

  “So? What do you think?”

  I suffered through a false start, not knowing where to even begin.

  “W-well, I guess… I mean I know I’m dreaming. So I’m not here. A-at least not physically. So I’m assuming this is some kind of… shared… space? For us…?”

  She sipped delicately at her tea, nodding her head and then setting the cup and saucer down on a stack of books that swayed ominously. She waffled her hand in the air and responded.

  “You’re mostly right; don’t think of this as a space, or even really a room. This place is a part of my soul, to which you’ve been allowed access. It’s furnished with memories and experiences I’ve had since before there was even a single star in the night sky.”

  She swept up a small pile of notation paper, riffling a finger through the sheets before gently setting them aside once more.

  “This place was made available to you when we bonded, much like there is a part of your soul that I now have access to. I must say, yours is quite a bit more… tidy… than mine.”

  I chewed on her words for a moment before asking another question.

  “You weren’t here when I came through that door; in fact, it surprised you. I’m assuming that means you have little control over my access?”

  Again she hit me with the wavering hand.

  “It’s somewhat complicated; I cannot restrict your access to this part of my soul unless I shatter our bond. So, I could force the issue if pushed. However, shattering the bond would more than likely result in both of us dying.”

  My eyebrows shot up so quickly they almost left skid marks, and she tittered at me.

  “What… don’t tell me you didn’t know what it meant to bond with one of my kind?”

  Her coy smile said everything I needed to know about that particular remark. This was a valuable lesson for me; no deals with anything until I read the fine print.

  I was lucky in this instance because the destruction would be mutual, so there were assurances to avoid my unilateral obliteration, but if it had been anyone else, any other Fae or God… my goose would have been thoroughly cooked.

  “Honestly, I’m surprised… Vita. After you’d bonded so casually with… hmmmm… Armela, was it? Quite the sweet girl... A tad insane—definitely dangerous… loyal to a fault, though. She did explain to you how the bonding works? Right? Before she went through the ritual?”

  Oh sweet Mechanriel, what had I gotten myself into.

  Her grin was widening as she peppered me with rhetorical questions. Apparently she’d already visited my soul’s little nook… damn Fae. I wondered how much about me she’d already pried loose from the confines of my soul. Was that where she’d gone? Was that the business she needed to attend to?!

  “Oh... oh—ho. Ohohoho! Oh, you poor boy, thrust into this decaying universe for purposes even you could not hope to understand. I do pity you, you know? But don’t think that I’m mocking you; it’s all in good fun, I assure you.”

  The frown creeping across my face likely reflected my souring mood, so she continued, possibly to salve the burn of indignation.

  “I was genuinely happy to see you here—much sooner than I’d anticipated, too. Tell me, did you feel it calling to you? Perhaps you felt a bit… drowsy? It was inevitable that you’d come here; we can’t resist the call of our partner’s soul, after all.”

  A burning question clawed its way up my throat.

  “How are you speaking like this? I get that you might have learned English from my soul… room? But what about the song? And Legion?”

  She shook her head. Smiling ruefully.

  “I already told you that things are different here. Time can be stretched and compressed as one wills it, though you already have quite a bit of experience with that.”

  She winked at me.

  “I spent many, many years rooting around your little secret places, Vita. A very interesting place you hail from. ‘Earth’, if I recall correctly. ‘Gaia’, ‘Terra’. I would have very much enjoyed visiting there someday. Shame about your species, though.”

  She tutted as she bounced her crossed leg imperiously.

  “Ohhhhh come now, don’t look at me like that! You’re more than welcome to pick your way through all of this useless junk anytime you please!”

  The lump in my throat made my next question more froggy than I’d hoped. Her mention of my ‘species’ hit a nerve.

  “So… you know what I’ve been sent here to do?”

  She tapped her index finger vertically across her pursed lips. Thinking, or perhaps more accurately, debating how to answer me.

  “There are some parts of the soul that do not open up so readily to the recently bonded. Unfortunately, there’s still quite a bit about you I haven’t had the thrill of learning. This was a first for me too, you know?”

  She leaned forward in her chair.

  “You seemed surprised that I would be surprised that you were here, but I’ll tell you, it’s been an incredibly long time since this part of me came to be. And every single time I’ve come here, it’s been just me.”

  She had made a habit of not answering my questions. I wondered if it was just in her nature as a Fae, or if she simply enjoyed fucking with me.

  “Nia’cyl. You’re going to continue talking me in circles, aren’t you? There’s something you want from me, that’s why you’re holding back. Or is it that you enjoy the confused look on my face that much?”

  She laughed. Picking her still-steaming cup of tea and resuming her drinking.

  “There is quite a bit about you I enjoy, boy. And I’ll do as I please while we’re here in my soul. You came calling at my door, remember? Do not think that since we are bonded, you are suddenly owed something. I may tease you as easily as I may end you, but remember this, boy: I am as free as the day I came to exist. I alone decide what I say, when I say it and to whom.”

  Even that didn’t fully answer my question. I could feel my frustration building with her, but the mischievous grin, partially hidden behind the rim of her teacup and further obfuscated by the rising steam of her drink, made me pause.

  She was goading me—purposefully. Not just for her satisfaction, but for some other purpose as well? Was she testing me? Trying to see how quick to anger I was? Figuring out what her end goal was would likely be impossible, and playing into her hand would only exacerbate my anger.

  I looked deep into her blood-red eyes—searching for answers, and noticed small flakes of silver embedded within them. Focusing and enhancing my vision, I studied them; small, chrome cogs were buried in her irises. I wondered if that had resulted from our bonding, much like the crest had been on the back of my hand.

  I idly ran my fingers over it without thinking, tracing the outline of the swirling mist emblazoned there while studying her eyes. As my fingers passed over the skin of my hand, the icon heated; a dull heat spread from where my finger pressed into the skin, and soon it encompassed the entirety of her mark.

  Finally, I looked down and could see a dim orange glow radiating from the lines of her bond.

  She set her cup and saucer aside once more and leaned forward in her chair with great interest.

  “W-wha—“

  The orange glow steadily increased, shifting into a pale peach colour, and the heat was becoming intense now. The air shimmered around the back of my hand from the sweltering temperature. Nia’cyl bit her lower lip and glanced up at my face, the glow of my hand reflecting off her face and eyes, casting her into an altogether different visage.

  “Do not fear this, Vita. No matter how badly this hurts, I will not kill you.”

  Her eyes glowed as well, taking on the aspect of heat from my hand. Was this… it? Was this what she’d been after? The pain was becoming excruciating, but I gritted my teeth; I worried the heat might combust some of the paper nearby as it shifted into a golden white.

  “Our souls are bonded, Vita. Connected, entwined. So why is it that there is no door leading from my soul to yours? Why is it they do not occupy the same position in each of us?”

  Her eyes were radiant. massive beacons of light. The searing agony from my hand had escalated once again into a blinding magnesium light. The whitest of white lights. It engulfed everything. I couldn’t comprehend the suffering Nia’cyl must have been experiencing to have this happening to her eyes.

  I wasn’t actually there. I was asleep, nestled against Armela. In a bed. In Hilst. This was a dream. A painful dream. I focused on the incandescent rage of heat frothing out of my hand. Cracks had opened up around her mark etched into the back of my hand.

  I couldn’t see them; I couldn’t see anything. But I could feel them. Deep, sizzling cracks opened and healed over and over as the damage was fought back. The inferno of energy cascading from my hand was deafening, or perhaps my hearing had been seared away along with the rest of my body. Nia’cyl’s voice echoed through my senseless mind.

  “Come visit me once you miss me. Shouldn’t take you long if that sordid soul of yours is anything to go by. Oh, and let Armela know I’ll be seeing her soon. Good luck, Vita.”

  And with that, my alarm brought me to full wakefulness instantly. I was in bed. With Armela. In Hilst. I checked the back of my hand and was immediately struck by the difference. Nia’cyl’s wisp of roiling fog remained unchanged, but enclosing it on all sides was a great cog.

  The teeth jutted in a looping ring of square peaks and valleys. It wrapped around both of my bonds, caging them in cold steel… except, it wasn’t actually cold. The lines making up the cog flared and dimmed with subtle red hues.

  Like dying embers of a raging fire being exposed to a gentle breeze, it reminded me of a campfire just before turning in for the night and dousing it.

  I had absolutely no idea what had just happened. It was hard enough to get any kind of answer out of Nia’cyl, but she hadn’t even given me a hint as to what this meant. Was she saying that we had just… bonded? …again? Were we double-bonded now? Did I somehow link her little room up with my… room?

  Or were they both in the same room now? I didn’t suddenly have all of her memories and experiences, so that couldn’t have been it. I rested the back of my hand against my forehead as I turned away from Armela and stared up at the ceiling.

  Dealing with Nia’cyl seemed to leave me with more questions than I came in with and literally zero answers for any of them. I supposed it made sense that she’d be talking with Armela at some point; the pair of them were bonded through me, and if Nia’cyl had access to my soul, then no doubt she could plunder Armela’s too.

  I turned my head to observe her sleeping form. The well-toned muscles of her back rose and fell with her soft, even breathing. The taut lines of her body made for an incredibly elegant silhouette against the fading sunlight.

  I wondered how Armela would handle her interaction with the fae woman. Perhaps when the bond was created between Nia’cyl and myself, Armela had automatically become aware of her presence, like I had. I didn’t know if being the primary bonded gave me exclusive ownership of that perk.

  Would all of my dreams be a journey into that realm of… rooms? If I bonded with more people, would more rooms pop up there? Did I have access to Armela’s? Would it be ethical to enter it? I supposed this was why people always warned others of the danger surrounding the Fae.

  While it was indeed a great boon for me to have such a powerful ally on my side, her mercurial nature made it difficult to discern exactly what benefits it granted me. For now, I would likely have to settle for being thankful she wasn’t openly hostile and hope that whatever effect this bond had would bear fruit in the future.

  I shook Armela gently, leaning over her shoulder to kiss her cheek and let her know it was time to go. We had work to do and a village to protect. My drones hadn’t alerted to anyone fleeing, nor were there any armies marching for the gates.

  We had time to prepare, and the people needed to be assured that no harm would come to them regardless of what forces were sent against them.

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