The great hill loomed before me, a towering monument of purple candy rock streaked with veins of sparkling sugar. I could see the library at the top, its spires reaching for the sky like a giant's ice cream cone. I took a deep breath and started my climb, ready to face whatever dumb or smart challenges came my way.

  The path was steep and treacherous, but I was determined. As I climbed, I encountered various creatures, some dumb, some smart, all looking to slow my progress.

  First, I came across a group of Dumb Goblins. They were small, green, and not very bright. They snarled and charged at me, brandishing tiny wooden swords.

  "Hey there, stupid!" I yelled, channeling my inner dumbness. "You wanna play? Let's play!"

  I met their charge head-on, and as I got close, their eyes started to cross, and their movements became sluggish. With a few well-placed Dumb Strikes, they were all down for the count.

  "You have defeated 3 Dumb Goblins," the voice confirmed. "Experience points gained."

  A little further up, I encountered a smarter foe—a Thinking Slime. This slime was larger than the ones I'd seen before, and it had a sort of glossy sheen to it, like it was coated in intelligence.

  "It knows things," it said, its voice echoing strangely. "It knows that you are not like the others. It will enjoy consuming your unique consciousness."

  I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. You're so smart, huh? Well, let's see how smart you are when I'm done with you."

  I stepped closer, and the slime seemed to hesitate. Its body started to tremble slightly as it processed my dumb aura. I reached out and touched it, channeling all my dumbness into the contact.

  The slime let out a high-pitched squeal and began to recoil from me. Its body started to wilt, and it shrank back, trying to escape my touch. With a final scream, it popped, leaving behind a small, shiny pearl.

  "You have defeated a Thinking Slime," the voice said. "Experience points gained. You have also obtained a Wisdom Pearl, which can be used to temporarily increase your Intelligence."

  I couldn't imagine ever wanting to be less dumb, even temporarily, but I picked up the pearl anyway and continued my climb, feeling more powerful with each step. I was a freaking machine!

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  As I neared the top, I encountered one final challenge—a Philosopher Dragon. This dragon was small but had scales that shimmered with knowledge, and its eyes held a depth of understanding that made me feel... well, dumber.

  "It ponders the meaning of existence," it said in a deep, resonant voice. "It wonders if you are merely a manifestation of its own thoughts. Perhaps, by defeating you, it will prove its reality."

  I blinked up at the dragon, trying to hide my nervousness with a dumb grin. "Um, yeah. Sure. Whatever. How about this—how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

  The dragon tilted its head, confused. "What is a Tootsie Pop? And why would one lick it?"

  I shrugged. "Dunno. But it's a tough question, huh? Maybe you can't answer it because you're not real. Or maybe you are, and you just don't know the answer. Either way, you're screwed."

  The dragon's eyes started to glaze over as it tried to wrap its brain around my nonsense. I could see the confusion taking hold, and I pressed my advantage, moving closer and channeling my Dumb Aura.

  The dragon let out a roar of frustration and reared back, but it was too late. Its body began to wilt, and it collapsed to the ground, defeated.

  "Congratulations, Amy," the voice said. "You have defeated a Philosopher Dragon. Experience points gained. You have reached level 6! You can allocate your stat points and learn new skills now."

  Stat Screen:

  Skills:

  Available Stat Points: 2

  New Skill Available:

  I allocated my two stat points to Strength and Dexterity, feeling even more powerful as I did so. Then, I spent one skill point on Idiot's Luck, eager to see what kind of crazy luck it would bring me.

  With my newfound power, I finally reached the top of the hill and stood before the grand library. The doors creaked open slowly, revealing a staircase leading upwards into darkness.

  "I'm coming for you, stupid tome," I said with a grin. "And there's nothing smart enough to stop me."