Which is true? Or is it neither? Or both?
We had elected her our leader and I believe it was a good choice. Which isn’t to say that any of us actually liked being led. We’re all free spirits in our own way and things could have gotten ugly fast.
But Addie is the best of us. She was born to lead. At least I think so and the results speak for themselves. She gave us freedom and yet held the strictest expectations. As we started our second week in the new world, we felt like sprinters entering the acceleration phase. Our poor start wasn’t going to hold us back for long.
Week 2
Excerpt from Saki's Journal:
I was feeling frustrated. I had been reading about magic for hours, but everything I read about people casting spells required speech. Whether enchantments or spells, everything was voice based. By this point I could feel the magic inside of me but I didn't know how I would get it out.
When I arrived at the library that morning, Penelope the Librarian and I sat down to have a cup of tea. Penny is deaf and she has trouble forming words because she can't hear. So I was shocked when I saw her use a magic spell to warm up our teacups. Without saying a single word….
I immediately dropped to my knees and begged her to teach me. She laughed, patted me on the head, and pulled me back up to my chair. Then, being the prototypical librarian, she handed me a book. A book that changed my life forever.
Empathy is the ability to feel what someone else is feeling. It’s an emotional thing, not a logical thing. It’s something I’ve lost. A change that happened last week. A change brought about by the Trial. When I took the lives of those creatures, something was taken from me.
Developing an emotional bond with others is difficult for me now. Perhaps impossible. Now I find myself constructing an emotional response according to what I think I should feel. I can fake empathy but in reality I feel nothing.
I’m not the only one. Each one of us has changed. It’s difficult to put a finger on it, but I’ve known my friends for a long time. They’ve changed.
Rio has found a way to relieve his pain through physical intimacy. But the thrill is gone. There’s no romance, no emotion in the act. He’s faking it just like me.
Kari was always boisterous and larger-than-life, but in a calculated and amusing way. Now she’s out-of-control. She’ll challenge anyone and anything whether or not she has what it takes to back it up.
Nix was always very intuitive but now he’s at a new level, seeing relationships and understanding outcomes that none of the rest of us can see. But logic confuses him, makes him upset.
Saki is the complete opposite. She can logically infer connections and conclusions that are beyond all of us. But intuitive leaps leave her angry and frustrated. Watching a conversation between her and Nix is now hilarious.
But back to my point. The Trials changed us. Or maybe they catalyzed a change that was already taking place. Someone noted that our Curses take something away while giving us something else. I think it’s deeper than that. The Gods have brought us here for a purpose. And they’re molding us for that purpose. Shaping us.
Where does that leave us? Have we lost our free will? Will we have a choice when the moment comes?
I’m going to have to bring this up in our next meeting. We’re going to have to take care of each other. Now that our weaknesses are becoming apparent, we can cover for each other.
Maybe I should put it off for a little while longer, though. I’m thirsty. I need a drink.
Addie finishes reading and sets the book on the table. I can feel Penny in the background, looking at me with adoration.
Ha ha. I made that last part up.
"So according to this book, Spiritwalker is a super-rare, little-documented meta-class."
"Yup. At least according to the books in this library."
"And Spiritwalker, by definition, is a super-class for the meta-class of Summoner {Soul, Life, Death}."
"Yes. You can form contracts with certain types of Spirit beasts and carry them with you in your soul," says Addie.
"........"
"Penny says there are lots of possible spells you may be able to cast with just the three affinities, as well."
"May be able to?"
"Yes. An affinity is just a general indicator. You have to try out different things until you find out the specific Magics you can cast."
"Gosh. That sounds exciting. Where to start?"
"And ominous. We start by asking Penny-sama for a book!"
I smile. "I am so not surprised."
It is dawn. I’m alone on the archery practice grounds as the sun rises in a great red ball of glory; returning to us after a long night of traveling pathways unknown to us. I stand in silhouette as I move deliberately from one part of the form to another, again and again.
Kyudo is a martial art with a long history. In its base conception it would be called archery by a westerner. Not that east and west has meaning in this new world. There is a bow, there is an arrow, and the arrow is shot at a target.
But the soul of kyudo is not contained in the outcome. Hitting the target is an objective that has no meaning. The soul of kyudo is in shagyo: the process of shooting.
I studied kyudo in the old world. I wasn’t very good at it. I didn’t really understand. I was a typical westerner focused on the outcome.
I understand better now. After a week of archery training here, I have found value in detaching myself from the outcome. I see value in hitting the target, but I find peace in the process.
Arrow after arrow is released. I dispassionately note where they strike the target each time. It is just one part of the process, no more nor less important than where my feet are placed or how I breathe.
The sun has risen, continuing its endless journey across the sky. As we all continue our journeys on another day.
I walk down the main administrative hallway of the Palace. People flow around me. I study them.
Fate Magic is a balancing act between possibility and action. Decision trees continuously blossom in my vision as people move toward me. Too many to see. Too many to comprehend. Too many to take action on.
How can I get a grip on this? How can I control the flow? Pick out what is relevant and what is irrelevant? Filter the possibilities? Slow the stream?
I’m forced to admit I don’t know where to start. I turn a corner and head back toward our rooms. I’m going to need help.
###
Kari always beats me at ping-pong. That's one reason I hate ping-pong.
And yes, they have ping-pong here. Although the ball is made from something different.
"Okay. So you want me to hit the ball slowly?" she asks.
"Yes. And before you start, decide whether you will hit to the left or to the right."
"Okay."
I prepare myself and she hits the ball. I block it with my paddle.
She picks up another ball. I only partially block it with my paddle this time.
She hits a ball. I miss completely.
This is hard. I nervously adjust my blindfold and bring my focus back to the time-graph. This isn't a simple yes-no decision tree. I can't even begin to describe what I 'see' there. Possibilities, probabilities, potentials. All in a flowing, swirling, undulating continuous network of actionation.
Told you I can't describe it in words. I grip my paddle, she hits a ball. Right at my head!
The impact throws me onto my back. I lay there dazed for a moment then my consciousness begins to slip away. Seriously? Who gets knocked out by a ping pong ball?
The boy stands in a rough stone passageway. Paired torches provide flickering illumination every ten meters. Behind him is a blank wall. Ahead of him is a fork in the path.
A voice - soft, gentle, feminine. “Oh, you’re a cute one, aren’t you?” Which might just be true, based on his past experience and the way girls have always reacted to him.
He notices he’s naked. His body, while not particularly muscular, is finely chiseled. Like, if the cliche comparison can be forgiven, a statue.
Stolen novel; please report.
The boy does not respond to the voice beyond, merely raising one eyebrow sardonically. Neither does he react to his nakedness.
A throat is cleared and the voice begins anew. “Welcome to the Trial. Before you is a maze most complex. Evaluate the possibilities, find your way forward, and awaken your latent powers.”
“That sounds pompous. What’s in it for me?”
“The Trial is given only to the worthy. It is a gift from the Goddess!”
“That’s nice to hear. I appreciate her confidence in me, I guess. But, seriously, what’s in it for me?”
“Erm…um…”
“Because I never engage in one-sided bets. It would be silly for me to engage in something painful for no good reason. I assume it will be painful?”
“Well … yes. Yes, pain will be involved.”
“Then I don’t want to play. I have too much pain in my life already.”
“But … you’ll learn and grow?”
“I can do that on my own, thanks.”
“I’ll, uh, give you a kiss!” says the voice with determination.
“No need. Not to brag, but I get more kisses in a day than most boys get in a year.”
“But, but, but…”
“Not interested.”
“Rrrrrr…” suddenly a person comes flying down the hallway. A beautiful person … woman. Definitely a woman. A well-endowed woman with dark hair, dark eyes, and snow-white skin. And bunny ears. Soft, floppy bunny ears.
Before the boy can react she grabs his face between her palms and plants a kiss on his lips. A long, incredibly …. detailed ….. kiss. Finally with a gasp, she pulls away.
“What do you think, loverboy? Would that be worth it?”
“Nope. Hard pass.”
“You didn’t even take time to think about it! What kind of a Hero are you?” With a scream of frustration, she stalks off again. High heels striking sparks from the floor. Bunny ears flouncing in time.
“I’m not a Hero. I’m not even an anti-Hero.”
After a few moments, he hears heavy breathing, then the voice again, “Just … just …. take the Trial already!”
“Listen, can you get back on script? I feel like you were doing better before you started ad libbing.”
“Just shut up, you! What’s your name?”
“Rio.”
“Your full name. For the record.”
“Ilarion Partidon.”
“Very well, Ilarion Partidon. Your Trial starts now. May you find favor with the Goddess.” She doesn’t sound like she means it.
“Can I at least have some clothes to wear?”
“No!”
“You just want to look at me, don’t you?”
“No! Get a move on.”
“My kiss got to you, didn’t it?”
“Foolish boy! A human’s kiss would never affect me so.”
“Don’t worry, I have that effect on all the girls. I’m like a highly addictive drug.”
“Shut up!”
The boy, Rio, proceeds down the hallway to a fork in the path. There he finds a stone pedestal. On its top is etched a simple figure, like a two prong fork. Before him is a branch in the path.
“So what am I supposed to do, here?” he asks.
“Choose.”
“What?”
“Choose a path.”
“That’s it?” he asks. But there is no answer. The woman is done talking.
With a shrug he focuses on the two paths before him. They look identical. With a shrug, he steps out, choosing the right fork at random.
And is promptly smashed to paste by a man-sized block of stone falling from the ceiling. A moment later, the air shimmers and his body thumps down next to the stone pedestal.
“Nnnnnnnggggaaaaahhhh!!!!! That hurt, that hurt, that hurt.” He curls up on the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees. “What the crap was that!”
“This is a Trial. You must choose the correct course.”
“How the hell am I supposed to know?”
“You will. You have the skill. Precognition. It is not something that can be taught. Only learned through trial and error.”
“So I’m just supposed to KNOW?”
“Essentially, yes.”
“And what if I don’t want to play your sick game?”
“It’s not sick and it’s not a game. It’s also not optional. The Goddess’ will is for you to train your skill.”
“So it’s not really a Trial then, is it?”
“Nope. But I’ll still give you a kiss at the end.”
“Still a hard pass.”
Stepping out once again, he approaches the fork in the path.
###
Rio is a compulsive counter. And he’s never wrong. He has counted fifty-seven painful deaths, plus two that were not painful so much as just annoying. Finally he reached a milestone. After ten correct choices in a row, he reaches a new type of pedestal. Etched on the top of this one is a forked path where each branch ends in another forked path. Like a tree diagram.
He gives a dry chuckle. Apparently now he is expected to be able to see two steps into the future. Yay.
###
Rio has lost track of the time. But not the number of deaths. Six hundred and seventy-nine. The last challenge is behind him. Ten complete runs of four-deep decisions.
Currently there is an attractive bunny woman lip-locked to his face. Her arms and legs are tightly wrapped around him, trapping his arms. No matter how much he struggles, he cannot get free. The woman seems to really be enjoying herself. Until, eventually, the world dissolves in a shower of sparks and everything is gone.
“Honestly, I don’t know why they keep them around. They’re not training.”
“I heard they’re all Cursed. The Minister won’t let them do anything because he’s afraid the Gods will be offended.”
“Well I heard that the Curses are why so many people died the day they were Summoned.”
“Oooh! Now I’m scared. I hope they don’t make me go anywhere near them.”
“Well that one guy is pretty cute. And he’s a good kisser!”
““““Aaaahhh!”””” squeal all of the maids at once. “You kissed him?”
“Ooooh yeeeaaah. And no regrets here, either.”
The maids titter on. Like a flock of sparrows at a bird bath as they work on preparing linens for the next day. I clench my hands into fists and hold them to my chest, trying to control my anger.
Who are these women to judge my charges? They call themselves the Accursed as a joke but it’s no joke for me. It’s only been a week since I started serving them as a maid and I want the best for them. They’re so kind and courteous. They’re above me in so many ways but they have accepted me as part of their family. I want to rush out and defend them.
But I don’t. I told Addie what people are saying about them. She counseled me to ignore their words. I am a better person than they are. That’s what she said.
A week ago I would have said I’m not. But this week I am a better person. They have lifted me up somehow. They spend all of their time learning and growing. If I want to keep serving them, I must do the same.
I will do the same.
Commander Travess’ summons surprised me. We haven’t spent a lot of time together and most of that time has been me criticizing the groupings they use and the training problems they lead to. Usually his time is dominated by the Great Hero/Dick Ettiene.
As I enter his office, he motions me to sit at a little table. A maid comes in and serves us tea. They do love their tea here.
He’s silent for a moment as he takes a sip, then he begins, “Great Hero Tia. I apologize for not spending more time with you before now. I plead the excuse of having too much work organizing the training over the past week. It’s a weak excuse but, to be honest, I was caught a little flat-footed by the number of Heroes and Saints summoned. It took some time for me to adjust my thinking.”
“I understand, Commander. It hasn’t been easy for any of us. We’re all growing into our new roles.” Yeah. I can be diplomatic when I want to be.
He takes another sip of his tea. Then looks me in the eye, “And that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’ve been watching everyone training, talking to people, listening to people, and making judgments. It sounds ominous when I put it that way, but that’s the heart of what Commanders do. My job is to make sure that the right person gets into the right role.”
I take a sip of my tea, trying to remain confident. I’m not sure where he’s going with this. “I’m guessing that means you have a role in mind for me?”
“Yes. Great Heroes and Great Saints are always assumed to be leaders, although that doesn’t necessarily work out well in practice. There are four of you here now, and I’ve been trying to decide which of you is capable of acting as the representative for all of your people. I’d like to offer that role to you.”
I freeze, then take another sip of tea to buy me some time to think. No one likes Ettiene. Altan is strong and conscientious but isn’t a deep strategic thinker. Bethany spends a lot of time worrying, which makes her indecisive. “Okay. I think it might be a good role for me. Why do you think it’s a good role for me?”
“You’re decisive. You know how to listen to people. People trust you and listen to you in turn. The role of Representative is one of seeking out the best way to use resources. You’ve had much to say about the way we’ve organized the summoned. Much of it makes sense. I think you’re the person we need to help us review and revamp what we’re doing.”
“Okay. What is my authority based on?”
“On mine. I need you to help me try different organizational schemes, get feedback and revise as needed. To do that, you have my backing in making changes and testing them. We’ll dedicate half of our training time over the next two or three weeks to this effort.”
I think for a moment. “And what about other things. Quality of life, etc. Does my role as Representative extend to that?”
“All things related to the summoned are within your role. You may not be able to make changes directly but I will make sure you are heard and accommodated whenever possible.”
“Then I will accept the role.” We stand up and shake hands. “Let’s get started.”
I stalk back to my room in a fury. How could they do this? After all of the time I spent sucking up to that idiot Commander, they go and make that bitch the leader of the Summoned. I can’t stand her and I can’t stand them.
Going into my room, I cast my weapons aside and pace back and forth, seething. I’m clearly the better warrior. All Tia does is talk to people. I can fight. I’ve shown that again and again in our mock battles. People respect me or I strike them down. The law of the jungle. Strength is what’s important!
I grab the edge of the table and throw it up and over against the wall. The tea set shatters into thousands of pieces, flying everywhere. I stare at it for a moment, chest heaving, then grab my weapons and armor again and stalk out the door. Maybe I can work out my frustrations beating up some of the others in a ‘training’ session.
“Clean that mess up,” I growl at the maid cowering in the hall as I storm past.
Penny-sama is a genius! She stayed up all night and developed what she calls a 'Spell Tree'. A document with all of the major affinities and the different types of spells they enable.
Just because you have a Light affinity doesn't mean you can cast all Light spells. You will have a deeper affinity that favors a sub-family of Light spells. For example, you may be able to easily cast protection spells but cure spells will be hard for you.
Hence the Spell Tree. Penny researched all of the major families for all of the affinities. For Mana, Spirit, and Primal magics.
All we need to do is choose an affinity and try to cast the first simple spell in each family. If you can cast that first spell, then you should be able to learn the other spells. Given tons of time, back-breaking effort, and egregious amounts of practice.
So far, we’ve determined that I’m an All-Healer. Whatever that means. Penny found us a book on healing magic but we haven’t had a chance to read it yet. Gonna work on that tomorrow. Sounds like the kind of thing I’d like to do, though. Dr. Nix - beloved by all, respected by men, adopted by small furry animals, and adored by cute girls everywhere. Yeah! That’s the ticket.
Aaaannnyywaaay… Soul, Life, Death. Three affinities that make up the meta-class of Summoner. Add in Spirit energy manipulation and you have a Spiritwalker. Me. But what does that really mean?
Jane is sitting with me. Being my eyes and reading for me. She chooses the first family under the Soul affinity. Reads the name of the first spell, searches through the pile of books in front of me to find the description. Time to get to work.
I will become a Spiritwalker like no other, before or since. Only then can I win Penny’s love!
Or Bethany’s love. Or Tia’s love. Or the love of the girl who gives us towels before we go into the bath. Or any other girls really. I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately.