Chapter 16Impossibly Forgiving24 February 2022“Ayms?” Ace — Alice! — whispers, leaning back ever so slightly against her friend. “Are you sure it’ll be, um, fine? I’ve not talked to everyone for so long—”

  “They’ll be happy to see you.” Amy insists. As always, she’s too kind.

  “But they— they shouldn’t be. I’ve been horrible to them.”

  “If we couldn’t forgive people who have been horrible to us at some point or another, there would be no one here.” Amy puts her arms around Alice’s stomach and holds her hands. “I don’t think there’s been a single one of us who hasn’t done something very hurtful, or stupid, and hasn’t felt immensely guilty about it after.”

  Ace — Alice… — really wants to insist that she is uniquely guilty and shouldn’t be held to the same standard of forgiveness Amy offers others. She seems to forgive everything so easily, and of course she would, because she has done horrible things herself and would want people to forgive her too.

  Fuck!

  She shouldn’t think about Amy like that. It’s rude, unpleasant, and defines her by the worst things she’s ever done. Amy isn’t that person anymore.

  Or is she? Sometimes, back when Ace lived in that nasty little apartment and they talked mostly through voice chat still, Amy would crack some joke about trans women, or women in general, or being gay and it was definitely problematic, but Ace would ugh still because Amy obviously wasn’t like that and just wanted to be funny—

  Stop thinking like that, Alice. She’s your best friend.

  Does it matter if she’s still a little like that? Should it matter?

  It does matter to her, at least. If she’s going to love someone, and she’s pretty sure she loves Amy more than she’s ever loved anyone else before, she needs to be better than that, at least.

  Amy is better than that. Or Alice wants to believe she is, at least. Amy has forgiven her, so why shouldn’t she forgive Amy, anyhow?

  Is she currently accepting a hug from a monster? Or someone who could very well be a monster, if put into that environment again?

  Why are you, Ace Howells, of all people, so fucking sure that you wouldn’t have acted like that? Amy is a better person than the trash she’s babysitting and trying to turn into something approximating a girl, who is so ungrateful that they’re holding her to her actions from before the pandemic! A time when the United Kingdom was still a member of the European Union! When Ace was still doing her A-Levels, in fact, a time when Ace didn’t even exist. Ages ago. What should she have done for Ace to forgive her? Be tortured for her sins?

  Maybe, just maybe, she should accept the fact that she has a hot date tonight, one who loves her, cares for her, wants to help her become happy on her own terms and will move heaven and earth to make sure Ace has that opportunity.

  She leans deeper into Amy’s embrace, almost expecting her to be made of spikes which would tear her to shreds, but mostly feels boobs pressing against her back and a chin resting on her shoulder.

  Why can’t Amy just hate her? Why can’t Ace bring herself to hate Amy? Why does hate need to be part of the equation?

  Why does she feel so angry?

  Fuck.

  “I don’t know what’s going on up here.” Amy whispers, pcing a finger on Amy’s forehead for a second. “But I can feel it’s getting too much for you. I won’t force you to be around anyone else tonight, if you don’t want to.”

  “No.” Alice says. “I want to go see the others.”

  Does she want to see the others? Or does she just want to appease Amy, who wants to make sure she does? Should she even trust herself in this situation?

  Why can’t Ace’s life and her emotions just be easier to deal with?

  “Are you sure?” Amy asks, somehow intuiting that Alice wouldn’t be sure about that answer. But of course she would notice that: Amy would feel every little movement of discomfort Alice makes. She’s currently all over her.

  “No.” Alice says. She pauses for a second, embarrassed for what she’s going to ask. What she wants to ask. Because it feels weird, and quite scary. But she’s in no space to make decisions right now, and Amy, whatever her sins may be, seems to have her affairs reasonably in order.

  Maybe it’s a little exciting too.

  “I’m not sure. About anything, really. I’ll just do whatever you say, okay?”

  “You’ll do whatever I say?” Amy asks her for confirmation. Consent. In her voice — her breath against her neck — she can feel both Amy’s pride in her and her dominant instincts.

  It’s more than a little exciting.

  “Y-Yes. Without question.”

  Alice isn’t quite sure what she should have expected Amy to do. Maybe she expected her to say something witty, or really hot, or anything at all. Instead Amy squeezed her one st time, gracefully moved in front of Alice, smiled at her, nodded, and walked away into the dining hall.

  Pathetically, it made Alice freeze for a moment and forced her to evaluate whatever Amy would want her to do. Should she stay here, or follow her, and what if she makes the wrong decision, and why is she left to intuit her intentions rather than being told what to do, and—

  She stops thinking — overthinking, really — and just follows Amy into the dining hall. She should trust Amy in the idea that yes, she does want her in her life, and that such basic truths really don’t have to be stated explicitly as an order if she’s going to be a good date for tonight.

  It’s quite busy already in the dining hall.

  “Alice!” Gwen squeals, running over to her to give her a hug. “You’re out of bed! And,” She takes a step back to be able to look at all of Alice, now fully made up by someone much more competent than her and put into a nice dress. “Wow. You’re pretty.”

  “She is, isn’t she?” Amy says from the other side of the table, semi-distracted by a very important switch game that Fey is pying during their wait for dinner. “Alice? You’re pretty, right?”

  Alice’s first reaction is to look away, blushing heavily. Her second reaction is to curse Amy, knowing she’ll have to respond to the question now that she’s immediately used her powers. Her third third reaction is to curse herself, knowing she’s now Amy’s submissive for the night and that there’s really only one answer she can give if she doesn’t want to incite Amy’s wrath, whatever that might entail. “Yes, you did a really good job with it.”

  “I know.” Amy says. She doesn’t even look at Alice right now, still watching Fey py the game. Apparently, Fey wants to send some guy called Kim to some pce called Dorley Hall. Despite her distraction, Amy sounds very smug and confident in her victory, and happy that she’s already able to make Alice py along in the role she really wanted her to py tonight.

  “Hey, Alice…” Gwen whispers, changing the topic of conversation. “It’s Aoife’s birthday soon, and like, I know you two don’t get along super well still, but I’d like your help with making a present? Or getting something nice done for her, at least.”

  Alice nods, trying to remember if she ever learned Aoife’s birthday, realising she didn’t, and then realising she only knows Amy’s birthday out of the entire group. “Yeah. I can help. Let me know what you want me to do.”

  “Well— I was asking you because I do have an idea, but it’s exactly one, and I think we might need Amy to get involved.” She looks over at the two. “I could get it all organised with her, but like, everyone should do some part of the process and I think I found a gift she’d really like. I’ll send it to you on consensus ter, okay?”

  Alice nods again, but before she can speak, Gwen starts to lead her to the other side of the table, sitting her down next to Amy as dinner starts. The table is rge enough that it tends to devolve into multiple individual conversations. Amy’s clearly decided that she wants to talk to Alice, and indeed, sponsor her a little.

  “You shouldn’t rest your elbows on the table, young dy.” She suggests, semi-seriously. “Elle would be very disappointed.”

  Alice can’t help making the obvious comment. “You do it all the time…”

  Amy puts a hand on her heart in pretend-shock, and puts on her best offended face, just to switch to a grin. “Well, I don’t exactly listen to Elle, but you would have to listen to Ms. Lambert.”

  In the corner, the sponsors who are overhearing the conversation start to giggle.

  “Isn’t she your boss?” Alice asks, properly holding her elbows off the table like Amy told her to.

  Rather than give her a response, Amy just ughs and pats her on the head. As if it’s a silly question to ask.

  They continue talking, the conversation switching to whatever game Amy’s been pying recently: apparently, she’s been getting back into Minecraft and was annoyed she had to buy a new account and made sure she was reimbursed for the expense. She’s focused on ndscaping and has been watching rather a lot of a specific youtuber as a result, to hone her skills.

  Once Alice finishes her pte, Amy offers her a second serving, pointing out she hasn’t had enough to eat the past few days and really needs to eat more in general, because her boobs won’t grow if she’s averaging less than a thousand calories a day. Alice tries to tell Amy that it’s fine. Rather than accept it, Amy repeats her question, a little more forcefully, and watches gleefully as Alice has to accept and actually consume another pte of food.

  Maybe she does regret giving Amy unlimited power to make her do ‘whatever’ she asks. She’ll actually use it.

  After the meal, Kelynen walks up to her and tries to catch up a bit.

  “Wow. Alice! Look at ye. Ye look good. I mean it— wait.” Kelynen takes her phone off the table and pushes Alice into Amy’s arms. “Come on now, ye can blush on the picture but I want to see ye smiling as well.”

  Alice, feeling very watched and tortured in ways she hasn’t been tortured before, tries to put on the best smile she can. That is, none at all, but at least Kelynen seems to think it’s cute as Alice fails to look into the camera.

  “I’ll show ye my first pictures of Amy someday.” She then whispers loud enough for Amy to hear and, surprisingly to Alice, snatch Kelynen’s phone out of her hand. “They’re very emb—

  “No you won’t!”

  “She was very cute. Maybe ask Fey some day, I think she has them—”

  “I have what now?” Fey stops promising Gwen that yes, she’ll get a makeover this week soon to react to her being mentioned just a few feet away.

  “I’ll kill you, Fey.” Amy says in an entirely serious tone. “Amber taught me some tricks. I gotta try them out.”

  “Worth it.” Fey responds, before quickly turning back to Gwen.

  Kelynen, satisfied to have reestablished the fact she does have serious bckmail on Amy, returns to Alice. “Are ye feeling any better?”

  “Um.” Alice looks down at the floor, thinking. “I don’t know.”

  “That’s fine, darling.” Kelynen takes a step forward and gives her a cautious hug. “Ye don’t have to talk about it today.”

  She notices the inclusion of the word ‘today’ in that sentence, nods, and uses the fact that the conversation can be deyed for everything that it’s worth.

  She can’t do it today: Alice is already feeling overwhelmed enough as is.

  “I’ll tell you soon, okay?” She offers, and is all too relieved to realise that Kelynen accepts this offer. She’s happy to see her in the first pce, and continues offering her much more patience than she really deserves.

  “Make sure ye take good care of my little sister.” Kelynen winks and wishes both of them a good night.

  ***

  It’s hard to ignore the way that Amy is sitting in her gaming chair. She’s sitting diagonally, with her legs crossed on a cushion she’s pced on the corner of her desk, her arms rexed next to her body, barely holding the controller she was using to py some games earlier, and very intentionally making sure that Alice is sitting perpendicurly from her. When combined with the fact that she’s wearing her tailored uniform, which brings out her natural beauty, especially in the chest and the hips, she’s looking more stunning than ever.

  Amy probably wants her to look and admire her body again, but given the st time led to a bonk, she somewhat fears the response she might get now that she is, technically, Amy’s submissive. The cruelties could be intense.

  She’s really hot, though. Alice always knew that she was, but seeing her trying to be hot rather than trying to be a normal girl makes it hit very differently. Especially because she’s trying to be hot for Alice. Maybe it’s to tease her, or to assert her dominance, or whatever she’s trying, but Alice can’t get her mind out of the gutter.

  Amy raises an eyebrow at her. “Hm? What are you looking at?”

  Alice almost falls backwards from her chair after being caught out, regains her bance, and then spends a few seconds blushing and looking anywhere but Amy, pretending that her best friend doesn’t exist.

  A witty comment would have been much nicer than this, but now she’s being forced to expin herself? Not that it would be hard to expin herself, but it would be too embarrassing to say. She can’t get the words out of her mouth.

  “I asked you a question, Alice.” Amy says, turning her gaming chair around towards her, crossing her arms, and resting her feet on Alice’s p. Trapping her. “What were you looking at?”

  “Um. Nothing.” She says.

  “Oh? Nothing at all? Last I checked, you’re always looking at something. Even if you close your eyes, you’re looking at the inside of your eyelids. I would really suggest you stop trying to withhold information from me and tell me what you were looking at right this second, Alice.”

  “I was looking at…” Alice struggles to formute the answer. She wants to tell her, not just because she knows Amy will push her until there’s nothing left in her which could resist, but also because it’s just true that yes, she is hot. But admitting that ck of self-control, that lust for the woman in front of her, is hard. It’ll be leveraged too mercilessly against her.

  “At?” Amy stands up and immediately leverages this situation against Alice. She pces one hand firmly on her shoulder, and another under her chin, forcing her to look up into her eyes, just past her breasts.

  If Alice couldn’t speak before, then the situation has only rapidly worsened.

  Her eyes temporarily dart to Amy’s breasts, and by the time they’re back looking into her eyes, it’s obvious that her girlfriend is smiling in the full knowledge she’s just won a complete victory.

  “Oh? You like my tits?”

  Admit it, Alice. She’s only going to get worse. “Um. Yes.”

  Amy strengthens her grip on Alice’s chin. “That’s interesting. You were looking at them earlier too, after we showered.”

  “Y-Yes.” She admits. “I did. I’m sorry, ma’am.”

  Amy raises an eyebrow. “You’re… Sorry?”

  “Um…”

  “Well, if you’re so sorry…” She says it like it’s absurd, ignoring the fact that she was the one trying to make her feel guilty in the first pce. Alice isn’t sure how much of this is pnned, improvised, or just really good acting. She isn’t sure it matters, either. “Could you make it up to me?”

  “Do I have much of a choice?”

  “Oh, darling, you always have a choice.” Amy grins. “I won’t do anything to you unless you want it. And there’s only one way I can know you want it…”

  The implication is unmistakable: she wants Alice to ask for it. Maybe beg for it, even. Alice isn’t sure whether she should beg for the chance to make up for something Amy clearly baited out of her.

  Part of her wants to, even if she knows Amy wouldn’t ever shut up about it.

  “Please?” Alice tries. Maybe she doesn’t have to actually say it.

  “Please what, exactly?” Amy asks, pressing one of her legs against Alice’s knees, pinning her down fully.

  “Could I… Could I please do something to make it up to you?” She’s feeling so embarrassed right now. Why is it so easy to get her this desperate?

  “Something? I need specifics, darling.” Amy, not yet satisfied, returns Alice some of her agency. Agency which she can now grant, withdraw and indeed enforce at will. It’s painful: it’s easier to have everything decided for her.

  She thinks it through and doesn’t know what she should suggest they do. What would Amy even like? She’s sure that they’ve discussed it in the past, but like many vague memories, it’s especially hard to bring back when she’s pressured for it. “Whatever makes you happy.”

  “I’m quite content to watch you squirm like this, darling. I’m not sure it’s particurly fun for you, though.” Amy smiles, then pushes even more.

  Alice tries to ignore the fact that she is currently very turned on and instead tries to think of a way out of her situation again, something that Amy might actually enjoy doing.

  “Now, now. Stop deying, I don’t have all day. I need an answer. You’re either going to be a good girl, or I’m going to leave you all worked up and desperate.”

  “Um.” Alice knows she’s going to regret her words, but says them anyway. Whatever Amy is pnning, she should have known those two words would have caught her attention. “I’ll be a good girl if you could help me be one.”

  “I’ll make a good girl out of you yet, darling.” Amy winks and quickly finds some handcuffs, fastening them behind Alice’s back. She then rummages around for a bottle, and then a needle, and before Alice can fully react to what’s going on, she can feel the pinch of the estradiol being injected.

  “I’ve always wanted to do that.” Amy whispers.