I didn’t move from my father’s side as I delved into my mind. My mother, while alive, had told me I was unique, but all mothers try to make their children feel special. Constantly tormented I had planned ways to take my own life, but on the cusp of giving up, I created a haven. I partitioned my mind creating a space where I could escape the pain. Once I learned something it would be forever stored in my sanctuary.

  My sanctuary was an oasis of peace from the despair that surrounded me. It was waiting for me now, a light in my sea of thoughts, I was in a meadow filled with wildflowers and waving grass. The birds chirped, the sun shining down warming where its light touched, a creek bubbled as it ran down through the glade. Surrounding the glade was a magnificent forest of towering trees. When the other children would not allow me to join them in their games I would come here to play.

  I collapsed into the lush green grass, ragged sobs accompanied my tears soaking into the soil, memories of past years with my family played out in front of me, a ghostly hut formed from a mist. The apparition of my mother sat across from my younger self at the rickety table. My father, tending to the small fireplace, hummed a tune. They all formed from the mist. My specter was reading from a book, At the time I had been learning about the various cultures of the other lands. My younger self paused, looking up from the book,

  “Momma, if Ziralia is to the east across the mountains, what is to the North?”

  Mother smiled down at me, her eyes held a warm love, “To the north lies the wilds, a land filled with magic but also danger. The shamans fear the free magic that roams, unpredictable. They seek to tame it as the lands of Ziralia have done. The magic in Ziralia has been shackled, they have used it to build wondrous cities and works that we, the Coille tribes, cannot seek to replicate.”

  “Momma, have you seen it?” I watched the yellow eyes of my younger self grow wide with wonder, almost seeming to glow with their own light.

  My father, with a huff, sat into the free chair next to my mother and pulled her into an embrace kissing her forehead, he turned to my younger self, “no son, but we have heard stories from the hunters they send.” His eyes grew dark, “not the slavers mind you, if I see those gut munchers they would not leave alive.”

  My mother slapped my father’s shoulder lightly, “honey you are scaring Caelan.” In truth, I had not been scared but rather intrigued.

  I stayed in my glade for what felt like hours watching the few mundane but happy memories I shared with my family, only minutes had passed next to my father’s body on the cold dirt floor. I let my tears run free in the glade, but in the real world, I would no longer let them have sway. My face was dry. It was time, I got up from the floor.

  I used two shaking fingers to close my father’s sightless eyes. I looked around, the shack was bare besides the table and chair. We never did have much, my father was going to take me hunting for food tonight.

  The rusted and now blood covered knife made a sucking noise as I pulled it from my father’s wound, I would need it. Blood coated my knuckles and soaked my clothing dying them deep red.

  Rain began to fall outside the doorway, the wind rattled the shack. It was almost as though the weather reacted to my despair. Water from leaks in the roof pattered onto the dirt floor. North, I would go north into the wilds, I would travel into the deep parts where the shaman’s creed would not let my tribe follow.

  Gripping the knife tight I made my way to the open door. Outside people ran for cover, the rain had come suddenly. Smoke rose from the cluster of buildings in front of me, happy families settling in for the night around warm fires. What gave them the right to be happy when they could so easily destroy everything in my life.

  I stepped from the shack, what had once been my home, into the street. It was located at the edge of the village, we were not allowed to live near the other tribe members, my parents never let it bother them. Puddles began to pool on the dirt road, a group of five men all with blond beards and hair dripping wet stood waiting in the rain.

  *SHINK*

  They saw me and without a word drew their blades, they were still a good distance away. My father’s murder was no accident, it had been planned. I sprinted making for the forest, my heart raced, I didn’t dare look over my shoulder to see if they were gaining. I splashed through puddles my legs pumping madly, I was fast for my age. The men behind me began to shout, their words were muffled by a flash of light followed by the sound of thunder. I would not stop no matter what they said.

  At the entrance to the forest a thin branch I had not seen left a red streak across my temple, I winced but kept running. The trees were huge, the rain had not yet penetrated the thick canopy overhead. My village was built in a large clearing for fear of the animals that dwelled within the trees.

  Thick roots, larger than the girth of a horse, spiraled in all directions making up the forest floor. The roots were covered in thick moss that would assist predators in sneaking up on prey. The undergrowth was thick with giant ferns and other flora, vines thick as my waist circled trees and smaller ones hung down from the branches far above.

  Now that I had reached the forest I would not be caught. Much of my time had been spent in here away from the tribe, out of sight, out of mind. I knew the forest's perimeter intimately, tears started to well, but I stopped them. Memories of my father teaching me to lay traps, how to stalk prey as well as the uses of the surrounding vegetation surfaced. I wouldn’t cry anymore, but in my sanctuary, the fresh tears flowed.

  My feet lightly brushed over tree roots as I jumped from one to the next. Behind me I heard a curse, someone had tripped. A misstep and I would be caught, confident in my abilities I did not slow.

  Time wore on, the forest had gone quiet, the animals going into hiding. Every now and then a bird would shout a warning of our trespass. My breath came in ragged gasps, I had managed to build a lead on my pursuers, but my stamina was draining fast.

  There! I could hear the rushing water of the gorge. I pushed aside a leaf twice my height coming to a stop in front of a steep ravine, a river flowing at the bottom. It thundered as white water frothed in a series of rapids. Massive roots spanned the gorge, if I fell the drop was enough to take my life.

  I let my lungs fill before exhaling, my breathing calmed, after I spanned the gap I would be in an area I had never gone before. Across the canyon was the true beginning of the wilds, the tribe’s shamans had forbidden travel into its depths. With steady feet, I walked out onto a massive root, arms spread for balance.

  I looked down, the sides of the ravine were coated with a blue flower and moss. The angry river at the bottom threw up a thick mist that glistened making the sides slick with moisture. Heights didn’t bother me, or vertigo might be enough to make me fall, I could only hope the men following felt different. I closed in on the other side; the root had grown consistently smaller, I jumped the last few spans, feet sinking into thick moss.

  My pursuers had reached the bank across from me. They were yelling but over the roar of the river, I could only imagine their vile words. Bane blood would be a word of choice. One of the men, Bodil was his name, made his way out onto the root. He was one of the clansmen who despised me the most. A memory surfaced.

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  ***

  “Can I join you to play today,” I was nervous, they had never let me join before. I had just seen eight cycles.

  Dirk was an older boy, son of Bodil. I was surprised when he agreed to let me join, he had never before, nobody had. “For this game, you will play the hunted and we the hunters.” I nodded growing excited.

  I ran into a clearing, large grin on my face, finally they accepted me.

  *SMACK*

  I felt something hit my head, I was on the ground. Dirk came out from behind a tree tossing a stone between his hands, my vision blurred, everything went dark.

  Things came into focus with Bodil standing over me. Spittle flew from his mouth, eyes holding a dark anger. “Bane blood, you deserve worse. If not for your father I would kill you now, stay away from my son.” he kicked me in ribs, I felt something snap, I cried out as pain flooded my system. Dirk and the others stood snickering behind.

  ***

  I felt my cheeks flush with anger at the memory. I needed something to throw, looking around I spotted a rotting piece of wood. Reaching down I picked it up. Bodil’s eyes widened as he deduced my intention and picked up his pace. I waited, the root grew thinner under Bodil’s feet.

  He made a small misstep and his arms windmilled to catch his balance. I threw the rotted branch, it was a bad throw. Bodil already off balance moved so the branch would miss him, his leading foot slipped off the root. With a cry he fell, fingers clawed but could not gain purchase. The whites of his eyes were visible in his panic. He slipped off, falling towards the river, his body spun out of control.

  *CRACK*

  His head smacked a boulder far below in the rushing torrent, I could just make out the stain of red with my sharp vision before the water washed it away. A part of me wondered if I could pull him into my sanctuary. I would create a rack and have him tied there, I could vent my anger at the tribe with his torture.

  I watched as the other men made the sign of the great spirit, they yelled more words in my direction but made no move to cross. I turned and continued north, the others would not follow. It was beginning to grow dark, I had never been in the forest at night. My night vision was perfect needing little light to see, the dark was my element.

  The trees grew larger the deeper I traveled, Elder trees we called them, it would take ten people arms linked to circle the smaller tree trucks. I was careful to move silently and disturb as little as possible, there was a reason nobody traveled into the deep reaches of the wilds.

  Fungus standing as tall as most houses began to glow in the encroaching darkness. Every now and then I could hear thunder, but no rain made it past the vast canopy above. At the bottom of the canopy, the buds on vines glowed blue almost mimicking stars. I pushed past a fern twice my height revealing a spring of clear water. Algy waved in the bottom of the body of water glowing green.

  Seeing the water, my parched throat screamed for a drink after all the running. I stooped down placing a knee on the bed of moss by the spring. Using my hands like a cup I brought the liquid to my mouth I swished it around before swallowing. I had never tasted water so fresh, my eyes closed in bliss.

  A rustle of undergrowth and movement in my peripherals pulled my attention up, a large deer was on the opposite side of the spring. Its nostrils were flared as it sniffed the air. I looked down, my father’s blood had mostly dried making my ragged clothing stiff, my skin underneath was dyed a deep maroon. It would draw predators if I didn’t get rid of it.

  Peeling off my clothes, I waded into the water quickly washing away the blood. Clean I did not retrieve my rags, I would need to hunt to make new clothing. I looked at where the deer had been moments before, it was now gone. I hadn’t heard a sound. In the distance the eerie howl of a wolf sounded, another answered from the other direction, closer to me.

  Wolves were the least of my worries, creatures of magic lived in the deep wilds. The storm must have picked up, the canopy overhead swayed like a great green ocean in time with the wind. Leaves rustled, the trees groaned with the slight sway of their trunks, a drop of water landed on my exposed skin.

  *AWOO*

  Another howl sounded much closer this time. I turned from the spring and walked along a root to the base of a massive tree. Its bark was rough with many places I could use for handholds, Large vines circle upwards like massive snakes merging with the leaves far above. Having nowhere to store my knife I put it in my teeth jaw clamping shut. I carefully tested my footing and handholds, beginning the climb.

  The tree was huge, big enough that the larger buildings back at the village could easily fit in its trunk. Shuffling and grunts drew my attention back to the ground, I hadn’t realized how high I climbed. Down below two wolves circled sniffing my bloody rags by the spring. More appeared from the surrounding vegetation silent as wraiths.

  They were massive beasts, easily the size of the tribe’s cattle. Their movements were sure and silent, black coats rolling over muscle as they prowled. The biggest one, the alpha of the pack, as though frustrated at finding no meal tilted it snout upward letting out a sorrowful howl.

  *AWOO*

  The other wolves answered in kind muzzles upward, an eerie chorus. I couldn’t help but think how easily a predator could stalk me without my knowing. At least the predators were only following instinct, in my experience, humans were much more terrifying than any creature I would find in the wild. I shivered, the air was growing brisk. Grabbing hold of a thick vine I used it to pull myself up higher finally reaching the first of the tree's limbs. They were thick enough that a small building could be built on top.

  I stood up and looked around, the massive leaves and branch itself worked to funnel water to the trunk. The tree branch had a slight dip in it that worked as a trough, water from the storm was trickling down pooling where it connected to the rest of the tree. I looked down, the Elder tree I had climbed was bigger than the smaller ones nearby. The glow from the vines was all around, many hung down from the branches swaying with the trees. Up high the trees movement was much more pronounced.

  I was tired, eyelids growing heavy. My stomach growled but I ignored it, nothing I could do about it for now. The sounds of rain and the sway of the tree were not helping me to remain alert. Finding a dry patch under a massive leaf I curled up letting my eyes close, maybe when I woke the day’s events would all be a dream.

  Sleep took me, a nightmare. I stood back in my family’s shack, my parents before me. My father dripped blood from where he had been stabbed, my mother stood beside him, both with dead eyes and yellow skin. My father's voice was filled with malice, the one he used when cursing the shamans, “this is your fault if only we had a normal son we would still be alive and happy.”

  Tears ran from my eyes, it seemed so real even though a part of me knew it was a dream. I tried to run over to him. He stuck out his hand holding me back. “Da, I'm sorry I..”

  “Hold your tongue Bane blood. I should have listened to the others, you are nothing but evil.” There was venom in my mother’s voice. The aura of the room was oppressive, my deepest fears come to life.

  “Stop it, stop it.” My hands covered my eyes blocking my vision, but then they were open again.

  I panicked my mind reaching for the light, my sanctuary. I kept my eyes closed, a warm breeze ruffled my hair, the sound of water flowing in the creek helped me relax. I laid in my clearing shaking with sobs, it was a long time before I moved from the grass.

  After calming down I fashioned a connection to my senses, my body on the Elder tree was cold and shivering but, in my sanctuary, the sun shined with its light bathing me in warmth. I stood up from the ground wiping away the last tears. Next to me was a wooden bookshelf I had crafted long ago to store information as I learned it. Bending over I picked up a stick from the ground, with a thought it formed into a spear. I would distract myself from the dream by hunting until it was time to wake.

  I moved to the forest surrounding my glade with light steps, a poor imitation of the giant wolves I had seen earlier. The forest was filled with evergreen trees, not the giant Elder trees of the wilds. The animals within were all mundane, ones I had killed on hunting trips with my father.

  Time flew by, I was creeping forward checking my footing to make no noise, a deer was up ahead. Its head was bent as it grazed, it stopped, raising its head it looked around with ears twitching. I had yet to get close enough to use my spear. It would be close to dawn back in the wilds, my body sleeping on the tree had stopped shivering as it acclimated to the cool weather.

  I felt eyes on me, no it wasn’t in my sanctuary, something was watching me as I slept on the Elder tree. My intuition screamed of danger. I woke my body from its rest opening my eyes, everything was blurry for a moment before coming into focus. It was still dark in the early dawn.

  I sat up and had to stifle a shout, adrenaline coursed through my system eradicating all lingering drowsiness. Across from me on the opposite branch sat a massive panther, bigger than one of the tribe’s shaggy workhorses. It was in mid prowl, its shoulder muscles and hind legs bunched underneath it. With explosive power it leaped the massive gap landing next to me, it didn’t make a sound.