The man was yelling at me. But I was transfixed by his socks. One was thick and black and slouched lazily halfway down his pasty calf. The other one, it was a magnificent sock. It had been knitted in multicoloured yarn by a knitter who was more enthusiastic than talented. Then it looked to have been darned over time with even more random colours.

  It was the tackiest sock I had ever seen. Here I was stuck on the floor of some shop, a massive battleaxe at my side, staring at an old man’s mismatched socks.

  Why could I see his socks? He wasn’t wearing shoes. I glanced up, then back down again hurriedly. He was wearing a very short wizard’s robe. It ended at mid thigh and at this height, I could tell socks were the only undergarments he was into.

  He caught where I had been looking and pulled his robe down to his skinny knees, and his face turned even more red.

  “You must leave at once!” he spluttered.

  I tried to shift my weight, but my dead leg was acting like an anchor. Without the Rose or that amulet, it was just dead weight. A heavy, useless slab of meat.

  I sighed. “I can’t,” I said honestly. Then, seeing the sneer on his face. My rage flared and settled into stubbornness. Slowly, I leaned back against the counter and crossed my arms. “Actually, you know what? No, I don’t think I will. I’m quite comfortable.”

  “You are loitering!” Vane practically vibrated with rage. “This is a place of business, not a tavern for vagrants!”

  “And yet,” I said, gesturing vaguely at the ceiling, “here we are. If you had just sold us the artifact, I’d be walking out the door right now. This is really a problem of your own making.” I winked at Dekka, who sat down decisively and glared up at the wizard.

  Vane pointed a bony finger at the corner. “That guardian over there will remove you. You are not allowed to loiter.” As I continued to sit there unimpressed. “It is not permitted!”

  I glanced over at the construct. It didn’t seem like it was moving. Vane also looked at it.

  “Remove her!” he commanded it. It stayed inert. “I said remove her, you stupid bucket of bolts!” He said and took a swing with his socked foot at it. He missed, but my attention was drawn by a brief flash of red light behind the visor.

  Vane spun back to me, his robe swirling up high enough I saw more of him than I wanted to for the second time.

  Growling, he went to swing his colourfully bedecked foot at me. I caught it in my hand. I thought briefly if yanking his foot up and causing him to fall. In time, I caught that flash of red light behind the visor.

  I gently let his foot go. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I said calmly.

  “And why is that?” Vane hissed.

  “Because that guardian construct thing over there doesn’t seem to like it when you do. In fact, I bet it triggers on threats. Violence. Aggression. Me sitting on your floor telling you that you’re a gouging little weasel isn’t a threat.” I looked down at Dekka and, smiling at her, I said, “It’s a customer service review.”

  Vane’s face turned a shade of purple I didn’t know humans could achieve. He stomped his feet in place like a toddler. Dekka lolled her tongue out and shared a look with me. Vane lashed out with his foot and kicked me hard, right in the shin. The dead shin, luckily.

  It was a solid kick; if I could have felt it, it might even have hurt a bit. I would have howled.

  Dekka, however, didn’t know that. Being the bestest girl, she snarled at the wizard. With a guttural sound that seemed too big for her small body, I blinked; it was reminiscent of when she was in her hellhound form. I caught her by the back legs before she could bite Vane’s ankle. Her teeth clicked inches from his shin.

  He spluttered something. But I was watching the construct.

  Its head had swiveled—not toward me, but toward Vane. The red light was glowing steadily, and it raised a metal gauntlet.

  “Ah!” Vane scrambled back, his socks slipping on the floor. “Halt! Stand down!” The metal fist stayed raised, but there was no further movement.

  “Good!” The wizard smoothed his robes and took a deep breath, turning back to me. Before he could get going, I smirked at him.

  “See?” I said, patting Dekka on the head to calm her down. “I think your shop guard is set to prevent violence. All violence. Even yours.”

  Vane’s mouth opened and closed, reminding me of a fish out of water. We were at a stalemate. I was an immovable object; he was a very stoppable force.

  After a few minutes of standoff, he slumped back behind his counter. “Fine,” he spat, adjusting his glasses. “I am a reasonable man.” Dekka gave a snort, which he chose to ignore. “I will lower the price. Three hundred gold. Two hundred now, and I will extend you one hundred on credit.”

  “That sounds lovely,” I said brightly. “Truly generous.”

  “Good.” He gave me a brittle smile. “Give me the coin and take the amulet.”

  “I can’t.”

  Vane froze. “Why not?”

  “Because,” I pointed to the empty air where Rose had vanished. “My wallet just logged out. She has all the gold. I have,” I patted my pockets, “a piece of lint and some aggressive sarcasm.”

  Vane stared at me. “So you have no money.”

  “Not that much.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “How much?”

  “100 gold.”

  “Get out!”

  At that moment, a shifty looking human teen slunk into the shop; the bell above the door let out only the faintest tinkle. He took one look at me on the floor, another at Vane’s red face and then down at the socks. He was back out the door before it had closed.

  “Wait!” the wizard called after his fleeing customer. It became clear that the boy wasn’t coming back. “You have to leave my shop at once.” He shouted at me.

  “We’ve been over this,” I sighed, settling deeper against the wood of the counter. “I can’t walk without the amulet. And I’m not crawling out of here just to satisfy your ego. Rose will be back. I’ll just wait.”

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  “How long till she returns?” He demanded.

  I scowled back at him, not liking his tone. “I don’t know. Tomorrow at the earliest.” I crossed my good leg over the dead one. “I’m a patient woman.”

  “I will call the Watch!” Vane threatened, reaching for a small bell on the counter.

  “Go ahead,” I challenged.

  The wizard looked over at me in disbelief, his hand hovering over the bell. I pulled up my pant leg, revealing the blackened, bruised skin of my shin. It looked horrific.

  I smiled sweetly up at him. “I’ll tell them this happened in your shop. A curse gone wrong? A faulty potion? Malpractice? I wonder how the Trade Guild feels about merchants maiming customers? Or the watch.”

  Vane’s hand continued to hover over the bell. He knew, and I knew, that the Watch in these types of games usually sided with the noise that sounded like coins clinking. I bet even the watch hated the idea of trade being disrupted. The threat of an investigation into his “dubious legality” shop was enough to make Vane hesitate.

  The bell above the door chimed again. This time it was a pair of nervous-looking halflings. They stepped in, chatting happily, until they saw me.

  I didn’t even try to scare them. I just shifted my weight, causing the floorboards to creak underneath my weight. I tried a friendly smile, but the way their faces went slack, I don’t think they found at all reassuring.

  They took one look at the massive barbarian sprawled on the floor like a discarded siege weapon, squeaked in unison, and backed out the door without a word.

  “I am losing all my paying customers thanks to you, you … you big ox!” Vane shrieked. He was wringing his hands now, pacing back and forth behind the counter. “You are ruining me!”

  “Market forces,” I said, examining an imaginary hangnail. “People prefer shopping environments that aren’t hostile to the disabled.”

  “It is nearly closing time,” Vane said, his voice trembling with suppressed rage. I heard him counting under his breath. He got to seventeen before he was calm enough to speak. “I need to lock up. You need to leave.”

  “No can do. Leg’s still dead.” I patted the useless limb. “I guess I’m sleeping here. Can you get me a pillow?”

  Vane looked like he was about to blow a gasket. “You cannot sleep here! This shop is filled with priceless arcane curiosities! I cannot leave a … a barbarian alone in here overnight!”

  “That is a fair point,” I conceded. “I might knock something over in my sleep. Or Dekka here might get hungry and eat a scroll.” She wagged her tail helpfully up at him “I guess you’ll have to stay here with me.”

  Vane stared at me, mouth agape.

  “Actually, better make it two pillows,” I added. “One for you, one for me.”

  Dekka, annoyed at being left out, let out a sharp bark.

  “Oh, right. Sorry, girl,” I corrected myself. “Three pillows.”

  Vane made a sound like a teakettle boiling over. He slammed his hands onto the counter, his face flushed a deep, unhealthy beet-red.

  “Enough! I will not have a slumber party with a vagrant and her mongrel!” He took a deep breath, visibly forcing himself to calm down and failing. Shaking he said, “We will make a deal. A trade.”

  We will? But I perked up. “I’m listening.”

  “There is a crate,” Vane said, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “It is currently being held at the Customs Office down by the docks. It contains … sensitive materials. The Guild is holding it up with red tape.”

  “And you want me to get it.”

  “You look like you are capable of … intimidation. At least if my customers are anything to go by,” Vane sneered. “Retrieve the crate and bring it here. If you do, I will give you the amulet for two hundred gold. A massive loss for me, but completely worth it to get you two out of my sight.”

  “I have not enough gold,” I reminded him. “And one working leg.”

  “You can pay the other hundred later,” Vane waved a hand dismissively. “As for the leg … take the amulet. Consider it a loan until the job is done.”

  He slid the black amulet across the floor toward me.

  “One problem,” he said before I could pick it up. “Collateral. I don’t trust you to walk out with this.” He pointed a bony finger at Dekka. “The beast stays. If you do not return with the crate, I keep the dog. She looks like she might have some rare lineage with those eyes. I could dissect—er, sell her to a breeder.”

  My blood went cold. “Absolutely not.”

  But then I felt a nudge at my elbow. Dekka was looking at me. She gave a little sneeze and a sharp nod.

  She’s a Jack Russell and a hellhound, I reminded myself. She can turn into a shadowy nightmare monster if he tries anything.

  “Fine,” I said, though the word tasted like ash. “But if you hurt her, I will dismantle this shop brick by brick-“

  His lip curled into a sneer.

  “— with your face.”

  The colour drained from his face, but he snapped, “Just get your leg working and go get me that crate.”

  I strapped the amulet around my ankle over my boot. I watched it and waited. Nothing happened. My leg remained a heavy, unfeeling log.

  “Well?” Vane asked impatiently. “Go!”

  “It’s not working,” I said, tapping the silver casing. “You sold me a dud.”

  “You ignorant savage,” Vane groaned. “It requires a Necrotic mana spark to jumpstart the circuit! You have no mana!”

  “My friend was the Necromancer!” I snapped back. “I hit things with bits of trees or hammers!” I poked the artifact a few times. “Can you turn it on?”

  Vane muttered something about ‘casting pearls before swine,’ grabbed a wand from under the counter, and tapped the amulet. A spark of purple light jumped from the wand to the stone.

  Instantly, the cold, heavy feeling in my limb vanished. It wasn’t the warm, living sensation of a healed limb. It felt like cold water running through veins of ice. I stood up, testing my weight. It held.

  “Stay,” I told Dekka. She sat, tail wagging once, looking deceptively like a scruffy, harmless terrier. She winked at me.

  “Go,” Vane ordered. “Get -“ he paused. I am sure he was going to say out, but he said, “-get my crate.”

  The trip to the customs office was surprisingly easy. There were big, helpful signs pointing me toward the “Customs Office,” which turned out to be a warehouse over by the docks. The signs also told me that the office was part of the Merchant Guild.

  Playing dumb, I asked around. I just let my ignorance about trade show, I was just a newcomer trying to navigate the bureaucracies of Mare’s Meet.

  I was shocked at how easily I found the crate. A nice clerk used it as an example of how things worked. Unfortunately, this involved handing over to a player, a human rogue named ShadowBlade99.

  I followed him out of the building. “Hi.”

  “Um, hi?” His Adam’s apple bobbled, and he didn’t sound at all sure.

  “I need the box,” I said, pointing to the crate marked Vane.

  “But … it’s a quest item,” he argued weakly.

  “I need to walk.”

  That wasn’t the answer he had expected. “You don’t need it for a faction quest?”

  “Nope. I need it to give to a greedy old wizard so I can have the pleasure of owing him 100 gold pieces so this artifact,” I lifted my leg and pointed to the amulet strapped there, “can continue to power my leg. Oh, and so I can get my dog back.”

  He shook his head. I was getting ready to try intimidating. “A dog? I heard there was a player with a dog. Fuck you are lucky.”

  My heart skipped a beat. “You heard of a dog?” That wasn’t staying below the radar.

  He nodded. “Were you one of the people who did that World Event?”

  “Uh yeah. About the package?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

  He smiled agreeably “It’s a fetch quest,” he said. “It’s fine. I can go back tomorrow to the quest giver and restart it. It’ll respawn right away.”

  He looked at me, looked at the crate, and passed me the package. “You owe me,” and logged out.

  Easiest loot ever.

  I made good time heading back, the crate under one arm. The amulet was working perfectly; my stride was even, the air was clear, and I was just thinking things were looking up. Then, I turned the corner onto Vane’s street and heard it.

  It was a high-pitched, miserable, undulating wail. It was the specific sound of a terrier who is being inconvenienced and wants the manager.

  Dekka.

  I broke into a run, ignoring the looks of the people I almost ran over in my haste. I reached the shop window and froze.

  Inside, Vane was standing by the counter, counting a large stack of platinum coins. I hadn’t even known there were coins above gold! Standing opposite him was a man who looked like he dripped money. Foreign silks, gold rings, and an air of absolute arrogance.

  It was the five men behind him that made me stop. They were massive NPCs. Elite looking ones. They wore matching black armor and carried halberds that glowed with enchantments.

  And there, in the middle of the room, was Dekka.

  She was sitting on the floor, her nose pointed at the ceiling, letting out that muffled, miserable howl. A golden rope was tied around her neck, and another was looped around her muzzle, clamping her jaws shut.

  I did notice two of the guards were nursing bleeding fingers, looking at the small dog with wary respect.

  But why isn’t she turning? I thought frantically. She should be huge and scary right now. I resisted the urge to press my face up against the window.

  Vane handed the end of the rope to the wealthy man. He was selling my dog!