Chapter 31

  Seven years ago:

  I had gone deeper into the forest than ever before, and my mind was a mess after being attacked. But even so, there was something unmistakably different about my surroundings.

  The trees were far more vibrant than before, and I found all sorts of plants that defied reality. A blue and purple bundle of weeds that suddenly stood tall and scurried up a tree, revealing an exotic mantis-like creature attached to it. The branch it climbed onto suddenly opened up, revealing rows of small teeth that consumed the mantis in a single ravenous snap of its...jaws? What kind of branch has a mouth?

  Then, a bird larger than a grown man tore the branch from the tree and flew into the ground as if the soil were water.

  This was but one of many scenes I was greeted by shortly after arriving in the Feral Abyss.

  That name, 'Feral Abyss' was told to me by a denizen of that place named Harmony.

  At ten years old, I wasn’t exactly capable of facing these bizarre dangers head-on. But Harmony introduced me to my master, Poggy Rot-Tooth, and his teachings kept me alive.

  Step one to surviving any ancient forest: Befriend the local dryad. Usually there's only one, but the Feral Abyss contain many of them. So my first task was set, and Poggy tossed me before the closest one he could find.

  She was a woman made from bark and flowers. The scent she emitted made my vision fuzzy, and I couldn’t understand any of the words she uttered.

  That was my first run-in with a dryad. Spirits of the forest given form and bound to an ancient tree. She spent weeks sending me to carry out menial tasks. Watering flowers, trimming overgrown plants that were suffocating neighbouring flora, cutting down dead trees. All of this was for the good of the forest, and became part of my daily duties.

  And that says nothing of what master made me do. Attuning yourself to the wild current of nature, seeking to commune with souls through pure instinct, understanding how to disconnect my ego from my body without dying...

  I barely had time to breathe with the workload dumped onto me.

  But the worst came at night. I would see the world from which the monster that killed Hans came. And believe me when I say that there are many more just like it. These others were no less hostile, and no less horrifying. You would not believe what happens in that place, nor do I want to relive my first night. Sorry, but I can’t tell you anything further.

  Anyway, this was the cycle of the Feral Abyss. By day I trained with Poggy and the creatures of the forest in an enchanting land straight from a fairy tale, and by night, I struggled in the Crucible.

  As if all that wasn't enough of an endeavour, I had Poggy constantly whining that I made him wait too long. He wanted to put me through all that much earlier.

  “Wait a moment.”

  Rose interrupted my recount to ask a question.

  “You make it sound like Poggy was expecting you there from the start.”

  “...Yes. He was.”

  “How could that be? You said you were brought there against your will.”

  “He expected someone to be brought over. I was just the lucky winner.”

  This was a white lie, but revealing that I come from another world was something I chose not to disclose to her, no matter what. If she still thought of me as her brother, such information would bring even that into doubt. There was no benefit in shattering her worldview.

  “Let’s get back to it. We still have a long way to go.”

  Poggy was a Druid, one who was self taught and focused mainly on shapeshifting, although his spellcasting is nothing to turn your nose up at either.

  He taught me about the truth of souls and their connection to the divine. Do you know where the gods receive their power from? It’s us.

  When a being with a soul places their faith in a higher being, they are able to form a two-way connection. They provide us with holy magic, and in return, a portion of our souls is sent up to them.

  Poggy explained the system in all its devious ingenuity. Rewarding faith in turn intensifies our faith. And as our souls become increasingly coloured by the gods, we become permanently bound to them. The effects of this are rarely visible in life, but upon our death, our souls, which by nature should be returned to the planet, are instead absorbed by the gods.

  Make no mistake, there is no afterlife at the end of all this. Your soul will be denied a final rest, your mind will deteriorate, and you will become naught but a husk. A battery to fuel the divine order. And even then, you won't be at peace. You will be aware of everything at all times, unable to even close your eyes.

  Have you ever wondered how new gods are born? We know Faelora was not always part of the current pantheon for example. She only began imparting powers to people a thousand years ago. Where was she before that time?

  She was nowhere. She is the result of amalgamating countless souls collected by the rest of the pantheon. They were mashed together and given the characteristics that were becoming increasingly worshipped by people at that time. It was the priests of the other gods who spread her name and tenets before she was even truly born. And as worship of her bloomed, she was brought into the world.

  Poggy worships no god, but rather respects the original rulers of the natural world—the Primordials. He taught me of their grandeur and their role in the cycle of nature.

  They still live, you know? The beings born from primordial ooze. There aren’t many left, but they do exist. Poggy was a follower of one known as ‘The Stag Lord’. He learnt the truth of this world through the Stag Lord directly and imparted it to me.

  The number of people who truly know what is going on is minuscule. Thus, any chance to increase their numbers is welcome. I was identified as someone who could understand and accept such knowledge as fact. Not because I was gullible, but because…

  Well, it doesn’t matter. The point is, I believed in Poggy’s words. He saw potential in my mindset that would allow me to utilise the art of shapeshifting, Primal Soul. The process involves understanding that we are independent beings, yet also knowing that we came from the same force that brought all life into the world. Think of it like trying to move every part of your body at once, organs and bones included. It is indescribably painful to get even a slight movement wrong, but mastery of the art allows for untold possibilities.

  It was one week after my training began that we found a suitable training partner. A baby phantasmal panther who had lost her parents. I took her in, Poggy taught me how to care for her, and we grew side by side every day. This was how I met Tiara.

  A master like Poggy can transform into whatever he wants so long as he understands the creature in question. But I had to start small. I needed Tiara’s trust and magical talent to mimic even a diluted version of her form.

  The nights grew increasingly treacherous, and I felt myself slipping every day. But it was the knowledge that we could do something to set the world right that kept me going. The thought of returning home occurred to me, but Poggy warned that I would have a hard time physically returning to the Abyss to continue my training. That creature that found me was an anomaly of its kind—one with the specific directive to transfer a person's body and soul to the Feral Abyss. And while Poggy can travel between the planes, he made it clear he would expend no effort finding me again if I chose to abandon the path for even a moment.

  Without Poggy, there was nobody who could realistically teach me the art of Primal Soul, so even knowing how it would affect my family, I chose to remain.

  Years passed, and I had bonded with many of the residents of the Feral Abyss, coming to truly think of it as my home. Poggy was harsh, but fair. He kept me focused and motivated despite the endless torrent of abuse he would unleash in the face of my failures.

  Time passed, and this new life became my new normal.

  Then, finally, I met one—a Primordial.

  He was a dragon. With emerald scales and horns of golden wood, his very presence left me speechless. I had sworn to keep his name to myself, and I cannot tell you anything further about him, but I can tell you what he said to me.

  He said the world was dying. The divinity of our souls kept nature flourishing, but so few souls were returning to the cycle thanks to the interference of the gods. The cycle had been entropically declining for generations, and soon our world would be dried out and abandoned by even the gods who abused it.

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  He said our world was not the only one. That the same gods would move on to another world to repeat the process as they have done since a time before time.

  He never commanded me, nor did he ask for anything. He merely told me what he had seen in his lifetime and allowed me to make a decision.

  He could have sent me back. He had the power to wipe my memory of my time there, and even alter my family’s memory, allowing me to resume my life like nothing happened.

  But I refused. I chose to remain and assist them in their goal.

  They intended to tear the Pantheon down in its entirety. To sever the gods' connection to the divine, forcing them to live as mortals in the world they attempted to doom to a slow entropic demise.

  Thus, I was introduced to another member of their group. Ada Jaeger. Master illusionist and respected wizard of the Black Crown Empire.

  She would set things up for me to return to the mortal world one day under a new, officially recognised alias. She would show her face occasionally to teach me the theory of magic, insisting it would be beneficial in the future despite my lack of talent.

  Once Poggy was satisfied with my growth, he would send me out to fend for myself. These outings led to the formation of many new bonds with the wildlife and, more importantly, the dryads. I fought all manner of beasts and suffered all manner of wounds.

  It was a trial by fire to harden not just my body, but my soul as well. I came out from the other side alive, but still nowhere near powerful enough to make a difference. I returned to the material plane, but my soul remained permanently bound to the Feral Abyss so that I could travel there at least in spirit.

  Poggy sent through Tiara and Soot to aid me, but this made them reliant on my own soul energy instead of the kind that permeates the Feral Abyss.

  The rest, you already know.

  ***

  I finished my retelling and waited for Rose’s response.

  She seemed to be looking for any hidden signs in my expression that would tell her whether I was hiding anything. I was, but I had a good enough poker face to ward off her attempt.

  “...Are you insane?”

  When she finally responded, it was exactly what I expected. Who would believe such a far-fetched tale with no proof?

  “You want to fight the gods? Because a hermit and a dragon told you it was the right thing to do, and you just believed them?”

  She scowled and stood up to leave.

  “Rose. How much does a cat sell for?”

  I stopped her with my words, and she glared at me once more, but I didn’t give her a chance to speak.

  “If I’m lying, Tia should just be a regular house cat, right? Or at the very most, one that has developed a Mana Organ. With your Gift, you could confirm she is more than that.”

  Silver Eye. With that, she could accurately determine the value of anything so long as she held something of greater value.

  I tossed her my coin pouch, which currently held a total of 14 gold pieces and 53 silver pieces.

  She caught it and looked inside with a shocked expression. She held back from asking how I had so much and looked at Tiara.

  “...So she’s valuable. That doesn’t prove anything.”

  She must have been unable to see her value.

  “How about this axe?”

  She was again surprised to see I still had Roland’s axe with me, and that it was in pristine condition. Of course, that was because it had since evolved, but she didn’t know that.

  “It’s the one you know. Remember when Roland had it custom-made? We were seven years old, and Jasper tried using it as a throwing axe. They had to chase a deer for half a day to get it out of its backside.”

  “...Enchantments raise an item’s value in accordance with the spell.”

  She chose not to reminisce and carried on the conversation.

  “It’s not enchanted. Here.”

  I walked to her and thrust the handle into her grip. Unlike me, she could manipulate mana and confirm my words in a second. She tried activating a non-existent enchantment and dropped it in shock.

  “What the hell is that!?”

  I picked it up calmly. Her reaction was typical for someone inexperienced in handling an ego other than her own. The faint emotions I felt from the axe would have been more like a torrent of alien, incoherent thoughts invading her mind all at once.

  “You’re familiar with ego armaments, right?”

  “No way! You’re lying!”

  She shouted, probably louder than she meant to.

  “You felt it for yourself. Would you like to hold it again?”

  I held it out again, but she shrank back.

  “...How?”

  “Exactly how you think. I’ve been killing almost every day for seven years with this axe. This is what happens as a result.”

  She looked cautiously at me, then back at the axe.

  “Some parts make sense…”

  She started.

  “But all this talk about primal being—”

  “Primordials.”

  “Whatever. You know how you sound, right? Like one of those weirdo cultists trying to indoctrinate others. You're going to restore the balance of the world and bring harmony to all or whatever. It's total nonsense.”

  I laughed openly.

  “You’re right, it’s all insane, isn’t it? But how else can you explain what I do? You saw it for yourself the day it all began. I have neither mana nor a Gift. Without those, how could I transform so drastically?”

  She had no answer to this.

  “...Let’s pretend I accept all that. You still chose not to come home. You chose not to tell me where you were. And then you came to the same school as me, even applying on the same day, only to hide like a coward for an entire month.”

  Now I was the one who was speechless. She was completely right.

  “And you didn’t even come to me in the end! If your friend hadn’t bumped into me, how long would you have delayed? Weeks? Months? Years? Or did you intend to keep your distance forever?”

  She moved back from the door and stood before me, only inches away.

  “...There was no reason. I have no excuses. I was just…Scared.”

  It was difficult not to avert my gaze at that moment, but I couldn’t back down now after confessing so much.

  “I could tell you that I was scared of dragging you into danger, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I was just scared to face you. I was scared that you wouldn’t welcome me back after all this time. Scared that you wouldn’t recognise who I've become.”

  I confessed to the shameful feelings that had been brewing beneath the surface all this time.

  “As long as you didn’t know about me, the question of where I stood never had to be answered. I knew it wasn’t something I could avoid, but everytime I thought about finding you I would find an excuse to put it off.”

  Even as her chin began to tremble and her wet eyes quivered, I stayed calm and spoke my thoughts.

  “I am really sorry, Rose. I promise I won’t run again. At least, not without giving you a heads-up first.”

  There was nothing more I could think to say, so we stood in deafening silence, the occasional sound of the building creaking in the wind served as a reminder that time had not stopped in that moment.

  “...Find me tomorrow during the break. I’ll wait for you by the greenhouse.”

  She finally turned away from me, and my racing heart began to steady itself once more.

  She left without looking back or uttering another word.

  That went well, right?

  I went back to my craft and thought about other things.

  ***

  As Rose left the dorm room, she came across a girl lying down on a bench. She had one eye covered with her hand, but looked over as if she had been waiting.

  “Hey there!”

  She sounded full of energy despite the setting sun and tiresome school day.

  “We met earlier, remember me?”

  She skipped over happily and stood before Rose.

  “You’re the one from the cafeteria.”

  Rose commented blandly.

  Frankly speaking, after the conversation she just had, she only wanted to go scream into a pillow and down a whole cake. Conversing with the hyperactive girl before her was hardly a priority.

  “Yeah, yeah! That’s me, Lily! And you’re the sister of our leader! Nice to meet you.”

  She extended one hand out for a handshake, but kept the other covering her eye.

  “Leader? Whatever… I’m going back.”

  Rose ignored the hand she offered, still angry about her brother’s actions, and went to move past. However, Lily hopped over to block the way.

  “Just a moment, please. Answer one quick question and I’ll be out of your hair.”

  Rose narrowed her eyes, but realised it would be faster just to give her what she wanted.

  “What?”

  “Your brother, did he ever worship any deities growing up?”

  “Ask him yourself.”

  “Oh, but I can’t! I want to surprise him with a gift, you see, and I thought a nice amulet would suit him well. But, what to do? I don’t know what he would find meaningful…”

  Lily’s exaggerated movements and way of speaking were clear to Rose, but she answered anyway.

  “He never worshipped any. Get him something to do with cats. They’re his favourite animal.”

  “Thaaaanks!”

  Lily let Rose pass and watched her leave. Unbeknownst to Rose, a small spherical object had emerged from her shadow and flown towards Lily.

  She plucked it from the air and removed her hand from her face, revealing an empty eye socket. The shadowy sphere fit back in perfectly, and her sight was restored.

  “How fun…”

  Lily giggled as she recalled the conversation she had overheard between the siblings.