“Interesting…” I thought to myself after finishing that short story, “And weird that that dude was so quick to give up immortality like that…
If it’d been me in that story I think that I would’ve kept the immortality by not eating from that one tree!…
But oh well…” and then I began reading the 4th short story in the book, and this is how that short story went:
“A long time ago there was a man named Robin Hood whose sworn enemy was a man who was known as the sheriff of Nottingham!…
Now, the sheriff of Nottingham was always trying to defeat Robin Hood, but Robin Hood was very clever and was also very good at making the sheriff of Nottingham look foolish…
And the sheriff of Nottingham did not like it when he looked foolish…
Because, after all, the king could fire him at any moment; and so he had to seem competent enough that the king wouldn’t decide that he shouldn’t be a sheriff anymore, and so this limited the options that the sheriff of Nottingham had…
BUT the sheriff of Nottingham had also just received an anonymous tip about where Robin Hood was hiding out at, and so if he just went to that place with some of his loyal officers then he and his officers could finally capture Robin Hood dead or alive!…
And so then the sheriff of Nottingham and some of his minions were soon heading over to where the anonymous tip had said that Robin Hood was hiding out at, and then they soon reached the location!…
And, sure enough!, the sheriff of Nottingham now saw that there were some of Robin Hood’s things in this area…; and so this made him very confident that Robin Hood was out doing something at the moment but would soon return to the location!…; and so then the sheriff of Nottingham instructed his minions to all climb nearby trees so that they could surprise! Robin Hood whenever Robin Hood might return!; and the surprise that the sheriff of Nottingham had in mind was a bunch of knifes and arrows and other weapons all being used to put an end to Robin Hood once and for all!…
Well, anyhoo…; the sheriff of Nottingham and his minions then waited for a few hours, and then they suddenly! saw a hooded person coming towards them who they figured must be Robin Hood!; and so then they attacked the person!; and then the person fell over with a bunch of arrows and knives now sticking out of the person!; and then the sheriff of Nottingham gleefully climbed down from the tree and said, “Oh, Robin Hood, you have caused such trouble over the years.
But now you’re dead and gone, I fear.
And it’s almost too bad that you got such a quick death…
But, at the end of the day, perhaps that’s for the best…
Because, after all, you’ve gotten away in the past when I merely wounded you…
And so making sure that the job got done this time was the correct thing to do!…
And so rest in feces, you pathetic scum!
For killing you is the best thing that I’ve ever done!…” and then suddenly one of the minions said, “Is that hay that’s sticking out of Robin Hood’s arm over there?…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham took a closer look at the arm that the minion was pointing at, and then he became very shocked! and angry!; and then he said, “ROBIN HOOD!!!…
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
Where are you actually hiding out at!?!?…” for, taking a closer look at the person who’d been on the ground had revealed to him that the person had just been a fake! person who’d been made out of hay and had been covered in a bunch of clothes!…; and then suddenly! the sheriff looked around and saw that he and his minions were now surrounded! by Robin Hood and his band of merry men!; and Robin Hood and his merry men were all carrying bows and arrows and pointing them towards the sheriff of Nottingham and his minions!…; and then Robin Hood said, “Hello, sheriff!…
So good of you to join us!…
And I’m sorry that the anonymous tip that I sent you failed to mention that it was only disclosing the location of the fake version of me that I created for fun as an art project!…
Perhaps I should’ve mentioned that…
But, ah well; we all make mistakes, amirite?…” and then one of the sheriff of Nottingham’s minions said, “But how did that art project version of you manage to walk over to us?!?…” and then Robin Hood grinned and said, “All that it took for me to pull that off was for me to learn a bit of puppeteering skills, my friend!…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham looked closely at the fake Robin Hood again, and then he saw that there were indeed very thin strings that were very easy to not notice that were attached to the fake Robin Hood…; and then the sheriff of Nottingham sighed and said, “Well, I suppose that you got us good then, didn’t you?…
And so is the plan to let us go, or are you going to add murdering me and my minions to the list of unforgivable crimes that you’ve committed?…” and then Robin Hood said, “Oh, come on, sheriff!…
You really think that my merry men and I would murder you???…
I mean, we’re arguably kind of scoundrels sometimes, but we would never sink to your level by committing murder!…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham got very enraged and said, “I don’t murder people, you filthy criminal!…; I just do my damn job!…” and then Robin Hood said, “And what exactly is your job, sheriff?…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham said, “I enforce the law, idiot!…” and then Robin Hood said, “And so were you enforcing the law when you took that golden goblet from the king’s dining hall last week?…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham began sweating nervously, and then he quickly said, “And so it sounds like YOU stole a golden goblet from the king and are now trying to FRAME me for it!!…
Newsflash, moron: IT WON’T WORK!…” and then Robin Hood shrugged and said, “You’ve got a lie for every occasion!; don’t you, sheriff?…
And so I guess we’ll just let the king sort it out and see what happens then…” and then Robin Hood and his merry men all slowly backed away from the sheriff of Nottingham and his minions, and then eventually the sheriff of Nottingham said, “Seems like they’re gone now!, and so I guess this mission is over…
Too bad that it failed, but we’ll get that disgusting fool eventually!…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham and his minions all went back to town; and then once the sheriff of Nottingham got home he quickly! searched for his golden goblet!, and then after searching around for it for a while the king opened the door of his abode and held out the missing golden goblet and said, “Were you looking for this?…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham began sweating nervously, and then he said, “Your majesty!…
So good to see you!…
And, no, I was searching for a pouch of coins that appears to have been stolen; and I suspect that despicable Robin Hood of having stolen it!…” and then the king said, “And so why did I find this inside of your abode earlier today then?… and then the sheriff of Nottingham shrugged and said, “Probably because Robin Hood planted it here in hopes of framing me for an act of thievery that he himself committed!…
I mean, pretty much every time I’ve tried to bring him to justice he starts saying terrible things about your majesty; and I always have to tell him to show some respect for the king!, but he doesn’t have respect for anything but lawlessness and disorder and chaos and anarchy!; and I am sorry that I haven’t managed to capture him yet, and my fellow officers and I are working as hard as we possibly can to finally put an end to all of his unacceptable irreverence and terrorism!…” and then the king stared suspiciously at the sheriff of Nottingham, and then he said, “I’ll forget about having found this golden goblet inside of your abode this time, but if I ever find anything like this inside of your abode again then there are going to have to be consequences…
Am I clear?…” and then the sheriff of Nottingham said, “Of course, your majesty!…” and then the king said, “Well…; I shall see you later then, I suppose…” and then the king walked away from the sheriff of Nottingham’s abode; and then the sheriff of Nottingham breathed a sigh of relief, and then he immediately began furiously trying to figure out another plan that could FINALLY put an end to that meddling Robin Hood once and for all…
The End”
